Seventh-month Old Suddenly Refusing to Go to Bed

Updated on March 27, 2009
E.M. asks from Baton Rouge, LA
5 answers

My daughter used to sleep really well. We would put her to bed and she would fuss for a minute or two (or not at all) and go right to sleep at almost every nap and bed time. Suddenly she has taken to screaming her head off indefinitely every single time we put her down to sleep. We make sure she is fed, dry, sleepy, etc. We follow the same routine we have always followed. We are sure she is not in pain or teething because she is 100% fine the second we pick her up, no matter how hard she was crying. I'm losing my mind. Any advice?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all of your suggestions! My husband discovered that if we rock her a little longer, she gets more drowsy. If we put her down right as she's starting to fall asleep, rather than fully awake, she barely fusses at all. We have let her cry quite a lot, but after it reaches a certain point (30-60 min), it's pointless. She doesn't ever fall asleep and we feel like awful people. So, I'm glad this is working...for now! :)

More Answers

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C.T.

answers from Fayetteville on

I agree with Aleida and Randi, you may need to let her cry a bit. I did the wait 5 min, then 10 min, then 20 min with my daughter-go in after 5 min of crying, gently put her down (if she's pulled herself up) tell her its time to rest-no eye contact, no picking her up and leave, do the same after 10, 20, 30 minutes-it's extremely difficult to sit and listen to them cry-but in a week or so when she's not crying at bedtime anymore it will be so worth it! God bless!

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R.S.

answers from Pine Bluff on

Hey E., sounds to me like she has figured out that when she screams that you come. LOL, smart little folks aren't then...and really early too...you say indefinately, is it really indefinately or just way longer than you feel comfortable with it. i know when babies do these things it makes the parents really uncomfortable. I would think you could go in and comfort her all the while telling her that its time to go nite nite. tell her she's ok in a soothing voice, put her back in the bed and leave the room. if she starts again, go back in and repeat the process. E., you may just have to let her scream/cry for a while. But if she gets really upset, you'll have to calm her before she could sleep. you definately don't want to start bringing her back into where you are and allowing her to stay up. keep with the routine....comfort in her room, by her bed...she's testing...and yes they do figure out those things this young....it'll be ok....just hang in there. R.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

she's getting to the age where she knows how to "work" mom and dad. Let her cry herself to sleep,or If you want a good book on how to put a child to sleep who is going through this phase "the baby whisperer" is great, my friend used it for her children and it worked for all 3.

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L.B.

answers from Fayetteville on

It might be the time change. Even if she's tired, if there's more light in the room, or she's seeing light in the other rooms before you take her to bed, she might be feeling like it's not bedtime yet.

Another possibility is, even if she's fed, take a look at how much she's eating in solids, and what types of solids she's eating. It might be that she's still hungry because, if solids are replacing the breastmilk or formula, and solids are not very protein-heavy (and most solids aren't, and shouldn't be, till the baby is 9 months old), then they'll go right through that little body and the baby will still be hungry.

Through the first year, solids aren't supposed to replace breastmilk or formula at all. If you think they might be filling her up and leaving less room for breastmilk or formula, taper off a bit. Feed her her meal of breastmilk or formula first, till she seems done. Then offer a few bites of her latest solids meal. No, she won't eat much or any, but she's experiencing it, squashing it, flinging it...all important learning activities, and ways to get familiar with food :)

Another possibility is that something has upset her; maybe she had a scary dream (I don't know at what age they're possible), or maybe her daily life has been upset. It could have been a grown-up fight or just a slight change in what she thought was rock-solid in her life, and the stress is making it hard for her to sleep, and hard for her to let go of her source of comfort, the two of you.

Then again, another possibility still is that she has learned how much fun it is to be awake. Our daughter seems to have started to fight sleep early on, too. She also can seem scared to be left alone. Has your daughter been waking up later, crying, and seeming afraid? If so, then, just like my daughter, she might have started to associate sleep with that frightening feeling of being alone in a dark room. What we've been doing is (well, and we have her sleep in our bed with us), we've been watching lots of movies on the laptop, using earbuds. I cuddle right up to her soon after she has fallen asleep, and my husband crawls into bed, and, as far as Eden knows, we're all just in bed sleeping together. When she wakes up hungry, I'm there to nurse her; if she tosses and turns, I put a hand on her to soothe her. The idea is, she will, after having these cozier, safer-feeling experiences when she wakes up shortly after bed-time, start to relax when it's bedtime, knowing that we'll be there if she needs us (it might just take a minute to get to her :).

If your daughter has been waking up crying in the hours after she's fallen asleep, try to beat her to it. Get a sense of when you expect her to wake next, and try to be in the room with her or nearby when she starts to rouse. Then, place a loving hand on her and/or sing her favorite lullaby or do whatever it takes to help her ease back to sleep. Make sure not to let her have any fun when she does wake up. If you speak to her, keep it brief, simple and quiet, and business only (not "do you see the bear? Isn't he a nice bear? Do you want to hold the bear?"). Be comforting, is what I mean, but don't let her start to associate late-night/post-bedtime with playtime.

I'd say, be more loving than ever, don't deny that baby comfort and reassurance, and keep a very observant eye on her, night and day, and you might pick up on something other than what any of us has suggested - or you see that something we've suggested is the cause.

Also, I've found innumerable very helpful tips in No-Cry Sleep Solution. The author is Elizabeth Pantley. She will help you with this and anything else that crops up down the road. Probably just a couple of dollars on amazon.com and so, so worth it! The way I see it is, an hour of reading her book has saved me hours of trying unsuccessful tactics to get my baby to sleep.

Good luck.

L.

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K.M.

answers from Little Rock on

Maybe reflux when you lay her down. If not, although it sounds a little harsh and may be a bit nerve racking for a bit, let her cry, she will wear herself out and eventually fall asleep. Good luck!

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