80 answers

HELP! 8 Month Not Sleeping Thru Night

Hello,
My daughter is 8 months old and she is still not sleeping through the nights. She sometimes wakes up at least five times throughout the night. She hasn't always been like this either. We had her sleep in our room until she was 5 months old. She slept great in our room without waking up. I noticed around the third week of sleeping in her room is when she decided to wake up throughout the night.

I talked with her doctor about two months ago about this. He basically said to let her cry and she will learn I will not come to get her. She is basically testing me and getting what she wants. That s great to let her cry it out, I am okay with that now, but I have clocked her at 2.5 hours one early morning "crying" it out. Then when she is up all night, I am up all night because I cannot sleep while she is shrilling and crying. Also, she is so grumpy the next day that I just can't bare to put up with her constantly crying. She is not teething, sick, etc. She also does not do this every night but pretty much 5 out of 7 nights a week.

ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED MOMMIES!!! I just feel I have tried almost every thing and the "crying" it out isn't working for some reason. Maybe she is jus stubborn like her father and me ;)

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to all the great advice and encouraging words that all of you mothers have wrote to me.

I thought I was going through this alone after reading several books that said children should be sleeping through the night at 6 months old. After hearing all of your stories I am having a huge bonfire of my Parenting books and going with my mother instincts. I DO NOT BELIEVE in the crying out method and wanted to flip my daughters pediatrician the bird when he was saying this stuff to me. I only let her cry it out for 2.5 hours twice (after becoming so desperate) and I felt so sick. My husband had to hold me back during these two times.
After reading the responses we had a huge talk and we are going to go in and comfort her by letting her know we are there for her and to go to bed. We have the bed time routine, music boxes, crib toys, night lights, soft music, etc...We just gave up on comforting her. We are still going to keep her in her own room so my husband and I can have our own time together at night which we think is important for a marriage.

To all of you who took my comment about my daughter being stubborn to heart... I know you cannot get to know someone fully by a paragraph, I am the type of person to make a joke about a situation that is upsetting me/stressing me out. My way of couping :) Sorry if that offended any one.

Once again, THANK YOU MOMMIES who had great stories and encouraging words for me.

Featured Answers

Bring her back to bed with you. 8 months is too early to let her 'cry it out'.
Here's a great article about the family bed.
http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/family_bed.html
and here is an article about weaning from the family bed after 1 year old.
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

2 moms found this helpful

I had great luck with the music boxes that connect to the crib.For exampl: (Slumber time soother)
My sons would wake up crying, I would go in their room and push the music box on, pat them on the back a bit and leave the room.
Most of the time, unless they were teething that would work great. The music lulls them back to sleeep and everyone is happy.

Best of luck.
C.

1 mom found this helpful

Hello J.,

It sounds like she just misses you. She might be too young to learn to be in a room all by herself. Or maybe she's just cold, my daughter is 11 months and ever since the cold season started she's been waking up more often, no matter how warm of a blanket or pj's I put her. So I let her sleep with us for most of the night then I place her in her crib. Good Luck.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

J.,

Great name(happens to be my middle name). I am the mom of a 18yr. daughter, 2 16yr twin boys and a 5 yr boy) I did almost everything different with all of them. With my older children I had a lot of advice from grandparents and older family friends. Crying it out almost drove me crazy and I remember driving around trying to get one of the twins to fall asleep. In retrospect I would have just rocked him back to sleep but my husband didn't want him to become spoiled by being picked up at night. With my now 5 yr. old (new husband) I listened to my instincts and picked him up or snuggled with him as I felt was needed and it made a world of difference in how our household was relaxed and calm. They grow up SO fast and this is your time to continue to bond and love them. They are growing so fast and they might be having pain from teeth coming down or even growing pains in their legs and they can't tell you about it.

Any way the best advice that I can give you is when your baby cries go love her. I don't mean pick her up necessarily but coo to her and gently rub her back. I would quietly sing songs and slowly rub her back. Tell her how everything is just fine, actually you could read her your grocery list in a calm, quiet voice. What matters to her is to hear your voice. If it is obvious that she wants to be picked up, slowly and calmly pick her up. Hum or sing quietly as you sway or slowly dance around the room. Do not turn on any lights, speak to loud or sit down unless it is in a rocking chair. She will learn that is she has a problem and she cries out, you will be there to help her take care of it. I have found that if you quietly come to her aid in falling asleep she will learn that she can wake up and knowing that you are nearby she will fall back to sleep without needing any sleep. If you let her continue to cry all alone, she doesn't know that you hear her. In her mind, "out of sight, mom's gone, I need to let her know that I am scared, hurting, lonely,..." At that age if she can't see you, you are gone. I have found that taking the time to quietly go in and calm them down takes less time than letting them "cry it out" and is a whole lot better for your psyche.

Shoot, I was only going to give you my two cents worth and once again it is a novel.

Enjoy your daughter, it just keeps on getting better.

Evelyn

3 moms found this helpful

I had a daughter that did that also. I didnt't let her cry it out. It seemed like she was just waking up and crying because she needed comfort. sometimes all she needed was a pat on the back while saying--you are okay honey. sometimes I rocked her for a while. I slept much better getting up for a few minutes even repeately, than I would have if I laid there and let her cry. She also grew up with a very good self esteem and I think it was becasue she knew she was important enough for someone to comfort her when she needed it. I have seen friends who let their kids cry and they don't comfort them and they grow up without any self esteem--come on now--they aren't even important enough for their parents to care that they are upset--how much are they worth?

I think your doctor is wrong. But he may be right---so all in all I don't think you should listen to your doctor on this or me or anyone else--do what you think is right with your daughter--I bet you will figure it out and feel good about it.

good luck--I also worked full time and I was tired a lot.

2 moms found this helpful

I know what you are going through. My grandson also was one that the doctor said to let them cry it out. It didn't work. WE have put a night light in his room and we even play soothing wave music for him while he sleeps but he would wake. There were still times when my son would take him into bed with him (and Mom, too)so that he could get a good nights sleep. He finally started to completely sleep through the night on a regular basis when he was 18 - 19 months. My grandson is about to turn 3 now and he still will wake sometimes in the middle of the night but he will go back to sleep on his own, most of the time.

Sorry I can't tell you the magic words to make her sleep through the night but it will happen. Some other suggestions; a bath before bed could help, rubbing lotion on her skin if it is a little dry or even cutting back on the fabric softener if you notice her squirming around alot (my son was sensitive to fabric softener). Routine are probably the best way to get her to relax and sleep. It will give her a better sense of security. My grandson is definitely one for routines, it makes the difference between a smooth transition into sleep of a rough, noisy one! LOL

The best thing you can give your child is patience, security, and yourself. Enjoy every memory and second, they are treasures!
SAH Grandma, San Diego

2 moms found this helpful

Bring her back to bed with you. 8 months is too early to let her 'cry it out'.
Here's a great article about the family bed.
http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/family_bed.html
and here is an article about weaning from the family bed after 1 year old.
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

2 moms found this helpful

OK! So I have a 7 month old little boy who slept in our room until he was 5 months old. He was doing fine in his crib and sleeping at least 6 hours without waking up. He eats to solid feed meals a day and nurses 4 additional times. Then he hit about 6 1/2 months and he started waking up. Not only that but he would only sleep if one of us was holding him or he slept in our room. And I could not let him just cry it out. (and I majored in Behavioral psychology) I was speaking to a co-worker who works with infants and she mentioned a method. You put the baby down in his/her crib (crying or not), if the baby is crying in 5 minutes then walk into the room and soothe them for 30 seconds (no longer but no less) even if the baby is crying walk out. Watch the clock and walk back in after 5 minutes. Again soothe for 30 seconds and follow the pattern until he/she falls asleep. If they walk up during the middle of the night restart the cycle 5 minutes to every 30 seconds. It takes a lot of work and dedication but after 3 nights we saw a marked difference. I was sleeping for longer periods of time, it took less time to put him down, and he even soothed himself back to sleep a couple of times. My husband and I both worked on it over a holiday weekend. I really feel that it worked (so far) because there were two of us. AS a matter of fact, by the second night my husband took over ( I was still awake to keep him company) but we noticed he cried longer and louder when I was in the room to soothe him (probably because I nurse him). I hope that this works. I will be honest we are on day 5 and he does still wake up once through the night but it is sooooo much better than the alternatives. GOOD LUCK!

2 moms found this helpful

i don't agree with the let her cry method. especially if it is hours. she is not manipulating you - that is just ridiculous. why would you want her to know you will not come if she she needs you. read dr sears books. my 9 month did not sleep through the night after a periods in which he did and sometimes would wake every hour. he was hungry and growing and i am always a little low on breastmilk. i started sleeping with him to make the feedings easier and we both got a lot more sleep. now at ten months he only wakes once. if you want to do the cry it out method it takes a lot of work - read happiest baby on the block. personally i am happy to be able to comfort my child in the most natural way during this short time we have with them as babies.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi J.,
I'm a 1st time mom of 7 month old girl born in Jul.
What time does she go to bed? Try to keep her up till 7:30/8:00.
Another thing I learned is try and feed her at least 1/2hr before she goes to bed because then they have a full tummy, maybe even try baby food or ceral, she maybe walking up because she's hungry. Another thing my doctor said is jsut pick her up and rock her she may have had a bad dream or just feeling alone, its amazing because she goes right back to sleep. Also, she may be to hot or to cold, that to makes a big differnce if they sleep through the night.
Hope one of these work for you because they really helped me.

1 mom found this helpful

she feels neglected since in a room by herself-- have you a puppy? if not, perhaps s musical toy she loves -- otherwise-- she has no health problems, it may be the doctor is right, and you must put up with the lasting noise and tear-jerking to show her you are the parents, and the child must consent to your bidding.

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