Separation Anxiety - Myerstown,PA

I can't help you with the seperation anxiety issue, my boys have never cared when we go away - there are days they are more interested in what they're doing at my Mom's than they are to talk on the phone.

Don't feel guilty about going away. It's improtant for the health of your marriage that you and your husband spend some time together w/o children. Having a stong, happy marriage is good for yout son, too.

Hope things get back to normal soon.

J.,
I just wanted to comment on the guilt. Please don't feel guilty. You didn't abandon your child or put him at risk....it is our jobs as mothers to not only care for our children but also for ourselves. It's not abnormal for a young child to have difficulty transitioning back into a routine after any vacation.....so no worries. Continue to do what you USED to do....allow only minor variations as you deal with the transition period and before you know it, you and he will be back into the normal routine.

Structure, routine, calming additions to the night-time or morning ritual and all will be well.

I think I've gotta agree with Amy on this O.. You left, you returned, It's done, it's over, he's fine. But are you fine? You may feel guilty about being away. You shouldn't! Think of how he will be OK if you ever need or have to be away again. I, too, would assume a no-nonsense approach and resume business-as-usual. It'll calm down.
It's possible that the "new routine" of sitting by his crib, expecting no napping, etc will be a kind of continuation of the routine change from weeks ago! I know it's always easier said than done, but try to put things back to normal. Start "expecting" a nap, better sleep, etc. and he will sense that the trip is, indeed, OVER! Good luck.
Don't feel guilty! You're just being a good mom.

You're being very good and attentive and sensitive to his trauma, but the truth is....it will last as long as you let it! Just remember, sometimes, kids have to be left-you did nothing wrong! You've got to put him back into his routine and let him adjust, not let him be the leader. After whole week, he is already learning that he can control you into staying by his bed etc. Crying a super long time at 5:30 and demanding consolation is also manipulative (not trying to be mean at all, kids are very smart). He was not harmed by your being gone for a week.

Cut the shinanegans, do not cave into the night time theatrics at all, but do spend some extra quality time and attention within the proper day time schedule. Go back to business as usual and be his affectionate confidence-building mother like you always have been. Don't give in to the "damaged" act, or he will get better at playing that card as he gets older. The fact that you say, "I was expecting this" implies you..were expecting it! I'm sure he read that into your actions.

When we left our kids for a week, we pretended nothing other than that it would be fine. My 3 year old daughter did get upset the first time I ran to the neighbor's when we got back, not knowing how long I would be gone. We just let her know, we were staying right here, We would tell her if we had another trip, but that we weren't going anywhere, and proceeded business as usual with everything. She got over it right away.

All kids are different, but don't "encourage him" to act like you have done something wrong. If you act super sympathetic about it, he'll believe there is something he should be upset about. Good luck, he REALLY IS OK!!!!

It's hard to give you a time line for how long it will take for your son to relax and trust that you will not disappear while he is sleeping. Be sure to tell him verbally what you will be doing and where, while he is sleeping, and if you leave a room, so he knows where to find you.

When my children were that age, they routinely went to visit relatives, and this never happened. Be sure to visit grandmother together again, and let him know in advance that he will be coming home with you this time. You don't want him to associate Grandma's house with Mom and Dad leaving him. :-) On the other hand, part of me wonders why he seems to have been traumatized by his visit to Grandma's house ???? I would keep my ears and eyes open when visiting, just in case anything wierd happened there. (I know, not likely, but my children might have cried periodically when I left, but they never went through this kind of thing when they returned. And most of the time, they hugged me good-bye and were immediately talking about the fun they were going to have with their grandparents.)