42 answers

Leaving Small Kids with Grandparents While Vacationing

My husband and I have been married for six years, and we have never had a real "honeymoon." So, we were thinking about going on a 5-6 days vacation and leaving our 2 and 4 year old kids with grandparents. I am a stay at home mom, and my kids have never, ever gone one day without seeing me. I am concerned about how this trip may affect them, especially my four year old. I would really love to hear from moms who have been through this, and hopefully get some advice also.

Thanks in advance!

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So What Happened?™

Maui...HERE WE COME!!! I am overwhelmed with gratitude to all of you moms (and grandmommies) for your feedback and support. You have made what seemed such a tough decision a whole lot easier to make. Also, I would like to clarify the situation with my two older boys. They are 14 and 12, and they are from a previous marriage. My husband and I plan to go on our trip the same time as their Spring Break, in which time they will be with their biological father. So, they will be in good hands as well. I should also mention that my husband is in the Air Force. The fact the our families are now only two hours away is a luxury that we didn't have before, nor will it be something we will have for very much longer. Additionally, he came home in August from a six months deployment in Iraq, and he is due to deploy again in June. Needless to say, the decision to have time to ourselves is pretty cut and dry. Leaving my babies behind, however, really is tough. But, thanks to all of you, I feel pretty good about taking off with my hubby, and finally giving him, and myself, a chance to get pampered and have some undivided attention. The kids will be fine with my in-laws (who happens to be great with their grandkids and keeping routines-a definite plus! :)

Featured Answers

Hi! E. Well you might try leaving them for a night cap and extend it for a weekend untill they feel confortable. They might get used to not seing you for a couple days:(

Have fun!
D.:)

my kids are 12 and 9 and i have the same anxieties... STILL! grama and grampa love the little ones and as long as their young enough to keep up, the kids will be fine. however, i do think 5 days may be a bit long for the 1st trip. maybe try just a weekend to start. hope you have a wonderful time and don't worry, they'll have a great time :)

More Answers

you need to nuture your marriage just as mucn as you do your children... my only concern for you is .... your children have never gone a day without seeing you.. what is going to happen when they go off to school..... start now and leave them for an hour or two with grandparents telling them you will be back at such and such time and do whatever it takes to show them you will be there when you say you will. show them on a clock / and or calendar days and times so when you do go away with hubby they know what to expect.

good luck, i started this when my son was about a year old and it gave me a chance to spend alone time with myhubby and then my son with my parents ... it was a win win all around!

and lastly, in reading some of the other responses, remember your mom raised you I would give her alittle credit that you are such a good mom that maybe she knows what to do..... JMO..

have a great over due honeymoon...

2 moms found this helpful

I am a single mom who works full time. We live in Hawaii, and I had a business trip to San Francisco. So my 2.5 year old daughter and I flew to Seattle on Friday and met Grandma and the rest of the family. Sunday I flew to San Fran while Grandma took care of my daughter for a week. I think the transition with both of us there for a day was helpful (since my daughter sees my mom only a few times a year).

I believe she adjusted well. I called a few times and my mom would ask my daughter if she wanted to talk to me, and she responded, "No, I'm playing." Although I missed her, I was relieved that she was distracted and happy. Once during the visit my mom said she changed the words to the song Jesus Loves Me to "I love my Mommy and my Mommy loves me."

I think as long as they have a familiar routine, kids are very resilient. You will miss your kids, but you also need to nurture your relationship with your husband. It's the foundation. Have fun!

1 mom found this helpful

Since it is with their Grandparents....which hopefully they are not too far away from your home... it should be fine. And assuming that your children already have a relationship with them.

One thing though.... I would "ask" the Grandparents FIRST...if they don't mind baby-sitting, before you book your plans. After all, it is for 4 kids.

Nowadays....I've learned & seen, that Grandparents don't like to have kids dumped on them without warning. They like to be respected, they may be busy too.... and simply like to be consulted with first, before everyone 'assumes' they will babysit by 'default.' I know a lot of Grandparents, through my daughter's school, and they all 'vent' to me about things like this... they are old & don't have the energy many times to keep up with their Grand-kids or have the option to even say 'no.' And they get irritated too. They just want to be considered in all of it.

It should be fun for all... and will be fine.
Have fun!

All the best,
Susan

1 mom found this helpful

Just wanted to share some recent experience...

I live with my parents and am a single full-time working Mom, so my son (2.5) is around my Mom almost all day while I work.

I had to go on a trip for work that I couldn't get out of like I usually do, and was gone for two nights. My son did okay, but kept asking where I was. We talked on the phone every chance we got and even set up a Web Cam so, he could see me. But, when I got back, he was so angry with me. It was the hardest thing for me to do, but we got through it.

Make sure you little ones are used to spending the night away from you before you go on your trip. It's a huge adjustment for little ones, and the first night I was not with my son he apparently kept waiting for me to come home and was very upset when I didn't come home for bed.

You should definitely take time to enjoy your marriage, just make sure your kids are prepared for the time with their grandparents and vice versa.

Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I am 27 and I will NEVER forget the time that my parents went on vacation and left my siblings and I at my grandparent's house for the week. We had the most wonderful time with my grandparents whom we didn't even have a very close relationship with previously. My parents left a pile of small gifts (Coloring books, etc) all wrapped up and we had one to open each day that my parents were gone. Boy, we felt SO special and we hardly missed our parents (who were incredibly involved) because we were making memories with Grandma and Grandpa and we knew they were thinking about us. I was about 5 at the time. It is seriously one of my fondest memories of my grandparents so I would certainly encourage you leaving your children for a week with them. You have invested SO much into the relationship with your children and they will trust you while you are gone. It is the parent who is NEVER around that will scar her child by leaving them with someone for a week.

Have a great time!

1 mom found this helpful

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Nurture your marriage. I have done it since my child was 2 1/2. Your husband comes first and you are leaving your kids in the hands of Grandparents. Grandparents treat their grandchildren with loving care, so why not?

Leave them with Grandparents for a trial over-nighter. You may choose to stay late until bedtime and come early for breakfast. Let them know that Mommy is coming back.

You will see that they are having a "vacation" too! Just tell them that. Plan with Grandma some fun activities like going to the park or getting an ice cream. It's the little things that make a day exciting for them.

Have a great time and call every-other day to check in. Otherwise, you will have crying children on your hands...

M.

1 mom found this helpful

Go!! They will be fine, especially since they have each other. My husband and I just went on a 1 week vacation to Hawaii and left our 2,4 & 8 year old with their Grandparents, and they did fine. It's also good to have them miss you a little.....and vice versa:)

1 mom found this helpful

Hi E.,

I say, go on vacation, lady! :-) One of the best things my husband and I ever did was to go on vacation for 5 days when our son was eight months old. My parents baby-sat in our home for three days and my in-laws came to do the rest of the time. It was a wonderful experience for all of us. Grandparents are excellent, and the vacation reminded my husband and I of how much we love our own relationship. My son never realized we were gone.

We have gone on little overnights since then--my son loves to stay with his grandparents. It's still great for everybody--refreshing for us, fun for our parents and our boy.

I highly recommend the occasional trip away--one day, our children will leave us... It's nice to know that my husband still sees me as a woman in addition to a mom.

:-) D.

1 mom found this helpful

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