Anxious About Vacationing Without 2-Year-old for Two Weeks

My 2 year old right now is going through a super-clingy stage, and it really helps him a lot to have pictures of us handy. Maybe you can put together an album for him to have at grandma and grandpa's of "familiar" things--his parents, pets, maybe his room, or the house?

That said, I sent my two (5 and 2) off w/ grandma and grandpa for a week this spring and was totally freaked out, too. But you know, they did great. They also do not see grandma and grandpa super-often, but they had a blast. They were out at the farm, my horrible-sleeping toddler slept through the night regularly, and they're excited to do it again this year. I'm still nervous. :) But...I think about how much we do for and how much we love our kids, and sometimes I think we do too much for them, and don't trust others enough to love our kids the way we do. It really is good for them to be with their grandparents, to build that relationship. It MIGHT be tough for him...but his grandparents love him very, very much (I'm sometimes surprised at how much my mom loves my boys; she was not very lovey when we were growing up, but now with her grandboys, she'd hang the moon for them) and will do their absolute best to make sure he is happy and well cared for. And he will come away with exciting memories.

Edit: Ok, I'm reading some notes people have said...ouch! I guess I'm of the opinion that yes, kids get upset, scared, and miss mom and dad--but that it's really, REALLY important for them to learn that you come back, and that YOU are entitled to YOUR life too. And just FYI...my kids have not had a baby-sitter in several years and they went FINE with grandma and grandpa--who they see maybe 3-4 times a year. We did call, but most of the time they were too busy to talk to us--I think we talked to them once during the week; otherwise, we heard about the day from grandma and grandpa. Grandma and grandpa brought the kids back to our house and spent the weekend with us, but I wouldn't even say our kids were particularly clingy after the event--and I'm a stay at home mom these days, so my kids were VERY used to seeing me, every day, all day.

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Yeah, I would be worried too - you are leaving your 2 year old with grandparents, but he hardly knows them???? For 2 weeks???? It is too late to rethink things now, so hope for the best. Most kids are quite flexible and will do fine during the time your away, but be prepared for how he will act towards you once you return. He may act out when you return and may not give you the hug and kisses reunion that you will be expecting. Try to have fun, this will be good for you and your husband!

You are very lucky to have someone willing to watch your little one for such an extended period! Enjoy every mintue of your trip, little ones are resilliant and your son will be great with his loving grandparents (and what a great bonding experience for them with him).

My husband was away in China for 10 days this summer (my son is your age). Even though you could tell my son missed his dad - he was great. We tryed to talk to him on the phone everyday and would blow him kisses in China every night before bed. In hindsight, I wish I would have used Skype and the rings of paper idea some of the other moms had posted. Both would have been fun, positive activities. I will say that the week he returned, daycare drop offs became a bit more challenging. But with everything, that passed after a few days and everything was back to normal.

Enjoy your trip!!!

I have several friends who have gone away for trips similar to yours. There is a technique they have used successfully to help still the "When are they coming home?" question. Before leaving they present the child with a construction paper chain made of circles glued together. There is a link for every day the parents will be gone. Before bed each night the child can tear off one link--when the last one is gone, mom & dad come back the next day!

I wouldn't recommend leaving a 2 year old for two weeks. If you really think you need to you should find ways to stay connected to him while your gone.

Hi C.,

Separating a two year old from both parents for two weeks is not the best choice. There is obviously no bad intent, but it just kind of lands wrong.

You made this statement:

"but I don't think we'll talk to him on the phone or webcam or have them show him pictures of us as I think that will just remind him we're gone."

He doesn't need that to be reminded you are gone. Your absence will remind him that you are gone. Not only do you want to leave him for two weeks, but you also want to completely disappear as though you don't exist? Do you honestly want to not have contact with your child for that long?

You are going to traumatize him and maybe even yourself since I see that you are already starting to worry. Please be prepared to deal with the after effects of the situation when you get back. Good lucK!

We have done at least one trip a year without our kids. Always international. Often the other side of the world. However, unlike your approach, what works best for us is to skype at least once a day. Often, we do it twice. Once in the morning (when it is bedtime here) and once at night (when everyone is getting up and having breakfast). It costs nothing to skype and it helps everyone that we can all see each other and talk about what has happened and the plans for the day. It helps the grandparents as well. Knowing they have a set time to ask any questions (Often having nothing to do with the kids but more how does this remote work or where do you keep the baking powder) helps them a bit too. THe only time we didn't skype was the 5 days we hiked the Inca Trail...no internet access up there.

It has always worked for us. However, we take a very different approach. I do not think I could do it your way. I know my kids would not have done well without seeing us or hearing our voices for two weeks. Each kid is different. Maybe your way will work for you.

Have a great trip.

I am a firm believer in leaving your kids for brief periods...I think it's good for all parties involved. We did an overnight when our little one was 3 months old. Then we did a 4 day weekend when he was 18 months old with no problems. That said, I do think that 2 weeks is WAY too long for both parents to be away from a 2 year old...especially when he's not used to it. At the very least, can your parents come and stay in your home to watch him? OR perhaps you can change your plans to either only stay for one week or just go somewhere closer for 5 days? I just think your little guy might be pretty stressed being away from his parents for so long...but I could certainly be wrong. Good luck!

I know this is probably not what you want to hear ~ but, I think two weeks away from a 2 year old is too much. My husband and I left my boys (ages 2 and 4 at the time) with grandparents as we needed to go to Guatemala to bring home their adopted baby sister. We had the grandparents come to our house to try and maintain some sort of normality. But, even with that...my then 2 year old showed major signs of stress after we came home. He was terrified to go to sleep b/c he was afraid we would leave him while he was sleeping. It was to the point of sleep deprivation for more than a month. Also, he really withdrew from the grandparents afterwards. I think he was afraid if he sat on their lap or something, we would leave.
Good luck in your decision. If there is any way to get the grandparents to stay at your house, it might be easier for him.

He might do fine while you're gone, but react when you get home. I've never left my kids for that long, but even after a weekend away, my then 2-year-old would get clingy. One time he was up all night, and he would grab at me and touch me, saying, "Mama, mama" like he was worried I was going to leave again. He might also be mad at you when you get back. I would just expect some re-adjustment issues when you get home.

I feel your fears. The closest I have been is when I was in the hospital for about 3 weeks when our daughter was born and our son was only 15/16 months old. I did talk with him a couple of times on the phone and was told that was really hard for him. He did still go to daycare as normal and my husband stayed with him at my parent's house during that time, he is very familiar with my parents. When he would come into the hospital to see me he was his normal self other than not wanting to leave. He was also very clingy when we returned. I am sure with your son being older that if you talk up the fact that he is going to have so much fun and that you and your husband are going to go away on an airplane and then you will be back he will do well. Try making a calendar for him that your parents can help him cross off the days you are away so he can see when you will be back because as you said, they have no comprehension of time. Good luck, have fun, and know that it will all go well!

I haven't read all your responses, so I am probably repeating some. The longest vacation we took was 1 week (that was this year) but we have taking long weekends. Let me say...it will be a lot harder on you than it will be for him. Our son did fine with his grandma that he doesn't see very often. When he was around your son's age...the hardest time was bedtime. She didn't follow the same routine I do and my son is a mama's boy. But, it was only rough the first one or two nights and then he did fine. Make sure she knows any special routines that you follow, so she can try to keep everything routine, relax and enjoy your trip!!!! Allowing him to have some one-one time with grandma will actually make their bond stronger (it's amazing how different they act when mom and dad aren't around)

I think you should use the web cam or talk on the phone or send pictures/videos via phone or email. Our daughter LOVES getting videos from her dad when he is on business trips. He always says Hi, and then shows her what is going on around him or something like that....Hailey also enjoys making her own videos to send back.

Hi, Please have a good time in Asia. I am a true believer that it is good to seperate from your children occasionally. It makes you and them appreciate each other. Don't worry about whether grandma and grandpa do what you would cause when you get back there will be a period of adjustment but when things get back to "normal" everyone will relax and enjoy. Besides this helps your children grow. They will learn that you care about them and that you will come back. They will learn that eventho grandma is great mommy is better. And if you do this "occasionally" through out their lives, they will learn how to be away, raather than having to deal with home sickness that first year of college when the stress is so very great. I know some of this cause I hav lived it. I have two sons, ages 25 and 27. And by the way, letting the kids go away from you is good for all the same reasons. And they don't get mad cause you are the one always leaving. You love them, say it to them. K.