Seeking Help....

I have an 11 year now that used to want to be rocked to sleep every night. My best advice is to enjoy the time because they do grow out of it. I would love to be able to rock her to sleep one more time. I would try to set the time a little earlier so you don't feel rushed and enjoy the moment!

Try just patting/rubbing her back, or her head. This is how we put the kids to sleep at the daycare. As you pat her, you can rock her a little bit. Hope this helps.

If you want to take the easy way out (like I do as much as possible) get a small tv and vcr or dvd player for her room. Don't connect the cable but just use it for movies and let her watch movies she's seen a million times. This will calm her and she'll fall asleep before you know it. I know this is not the "perfect parent" procedure, but it works and plenty of kids go to sleep with a video and as long as it is something appropriate and soothing, I think it is fine. The main drawback is they get dependent on it, but if you have multiple kids and a busy life, it can be an option to keep you sane.

Now, if she doesn't fall asleep during the first hour or so and you find her staying up later, than it might not work for her, but I know mine fall asleep fast this way - the trick is to use old movies - no new ones or they will stay up for the whole thing.

Good luck!

She will eventually get better about going to bed. My daughter is 2 1/2 and she finally doesn't fight us to go to bed....Try changing her routine. Instead of rocking her, sit on the floor with her on your lap and read a book. Once our book is done, I tell mine that it is time to say our prayers and then I ask her for a hug. If she runs away and says no, I get up and tell her that I love her, its bedtime, and I will see her in the morning. She always runs up to me for her hug and we put her in bed. Good luck, I know its frustrating.

We do bath, teeth, and jammies, clean up our room, hop in bed, read a (as in ONE) story, talk about our day (good choices we made, what we liked best, etc), talk about our agenda for tomorrow, "snug as a bug in a rug" tuck in and a few kisses and goodnight. It's not a battle, so I'm not real sure what to do when she fights it.

It's most likely you that she craves more than the rocking. She feels like this is her special time with just you. To help, I'd suggest you move bedtime back about half an hour. Make sure the bedtime routine is consistent and full of cuddles, then say goodnight and leave the room. It doesn't have to be elaborate or take forever, but it should follow the same pattern so they know what comes next. I'd also suggest that you place those child-safety knobs on her door. I'm nervous about all the coming back in suggestions, because if it's a power struggle (which is oftentimes the case with discipline issues at my casa - darn DNA! lol!) then they feed off making mommy jump through hoops and keep coming back in, and in and in...

Read up on Super Nanny's website. This is what we did with our son when we moved him into a big boy bed. We haven't ever had to rock him to sleep but had big issues with him learning that he had to stay in his bed. Prepare yourself for a good week of screaming. We would deal with this for 2 hours when training him. You are supposed to just gently put her back in bed (no speaking to her other than the first time or two you put her back in), pat her and kiss her for comfort and leave. When she gets out of bed, put her right back in. You may, literally, have to do this 80x the first night but she will figure out you mean business and she'll give up (because she'll learn you are not going to give in). If you feel like she needs more comfort than this, stay in her room but each night, move farther from her bed. Just don't allow her out. When I was reading about how to do all of this, I remember some parents had kids who had to be rocked to sleep. I guess the same tactic is supposed to work for that too. Good luck to you. It will be so good for her confidence when she realizes she can go to sleep on her own and feel okay about it. It only took our son 4 days to figure it out. Four nights of torture for his father and I but SOOOO worth it. He is nearly 4 now and the greatest sleeper!!! He's getting to where he makes excuses at night..."I need a glass of water" and so on. It's very typical of the age, however. He's still great at staying in bed, falling asleep with books (we leave the light on and turn it off after he's asleep) and he's not scared of his room. We may have just gotten lucky there.

I don't know if this will help or not, but I would recommend keep the rocking while you read her a few short books and then lay her down in her bed. Before you lay her in your bed, tell her that you are going to read the last book to her and then you are going to lay her down in her bed. I still tell my son who is 2 1/2 "last book" so he knows what to expect. After the last book, sit by her bed until she falls asleep. She will probably want to get in your lap and she may fuss or in my case, laugh and make it a game, but eventually she will get tired and fall asleep (be consistent and place her back in bed every time she gets up). After a few nights, keep moving farther and farther away until you are sitting outside her door and down the hall and out of sight. It takes awhile for this to work, but it works and your child will get into the routine of laying down and falling asleep without all of the drama/crying.

I hope this helps and even if you continue to rock her to asleep, their is no harm in it. She will eventually want to fall asleep by herself.

Hi S.
Here is what I did with my little girl :
1- pick a night when she's tired to introduce the change
2- take her to her room (she knew what i was doing, so she would start fighting me)
3- put her in her crib with a couple of books, sit her down, and tell her she does not have to lay down, she can sit and read her books
4- let her read her books, get comfortable - get a chair next to her crib and sit next to her
5- start singing songs & turn the light off/down
6-lay her down gently as we are singing in a lower voice, slow songs
7- turn her music on (she has a swing with music she likes to listen to)
8- kiss her goodnight as her eyes are starting to get droopy
9- leave her room quietly

It works MOST of the time.

Good luck
A.

As a mother of two and grandma to 2, I say treasure those rocking to sleep moments before they are completely gone. Think of it as the true bonding part of you day with her - some stories and some rocking - sounds truly loving and peaceful to me!

Hi S.,
enjoy these days of rockind her to sleep before you know it it will be all you can do to get a hug and kiss much less her let you rock her to sleep
L.

love and logic has good suggestions, also Dr. Ray Garrindi -

it will be a rough week but just keep putting her back in bed evertime she comes out-it does get better.

I am a mom of 4 and sometimes still don't get a full night sleep(14,12,8,6) say a pray and stick to your guns you can do it

First ignore the tv suggestion. This is a dangerous road to travel. And music, skip it too, it becomes a habit and a crutch which is hard to duplicate anyware but home.

Second yes establish a bedtime routine and be consistant.

The routine can include a limited time of rocking and singing and you can gradually shorten the time you do it. Put her down before she falls asleep. Your goal should be to keep it short then leave the room.

Third keep putting her back in bed and tell her to stay. Even if this takes 40 times a night. Eventually she will give up. It could also help to put a child gate up at her doorway. She might scream and knock it down, but eventually she will ge use to it.

Also you might want to put her to bed earlier. Start with 15 minutes and see if that helps. Children who are put to bed later tend to have more fatigue and can not fall asleep as quickly.

Try not to raise your voice, this will just fustrate you and she will have more trouble going to sleep.

Hi S.. You will have to train your two year old to go to bed by herself without falling asleep in ur lap. It will be difficult at first but she will get used to it. If she cries go back and tell her its bedtime and leave her again. Tell her you will be in the next room. Be persistent and in a few days she will get used to it. She will cry and it will be hard but you have to be strong. Worked for my daughter at 7 months. Hope it helps. Good luck to you!

Well S., the only thing I can tell you is when you start something like that, it's hard to break.

My mother did my oldest daughter the same way. She did not work, therefore she would keep my daughter while I was at work and would rock and hum her to sleep. Once I got home, of course, tired from working all day, she'd expect that from me.

Nevertheless, it had to be done...if it didn't she'd cry, cry, cry. So I would put her in her crib and pat her back until she fell asleep, or so I thought. Once I thought she was asleep and stopped, she'd start crying again. I had to eventually lay her in the bed next to me because as long as she felt my warmth next to her she was alright.

The only difference between my situation and your situation is that my daughter was not as old as yours is. I'd dare not let a child get that old and still have to rock her to sleep, unless of course, she's ill and just doesn't feel well.

You're moving a bit slow, S....it's gonna get harder and harder to break her.

Create a new bedtime routine. Read her a book or two or sing some songs together, then give her hugs and kisses and put her in bed. When she gets up, put her back. Just like the Super Nanny thing (we did it long before she was on tv, and it does work, though every time I put mine back in bed I'd tell him good NIGHT, son. I love you.) It's rough for a few nights, but it really doesn't take that long for them to catch on and it's totally worth it. But be sure you have a routine every night and be consistent. Good luck!

It may not be the rocking, try just holding this is a comfort thing a security blanket type. Soft music and lights may help to relax also. Been there and I know it is hard. You will win it will just take awhile not one night. Good luck

This is possibly the most convenient time for your little girl to get your attention and enjoy being cuddled and needs it at present to calm down, relax and go to sleep.
Have you tried reading to her? Even a one-year old loves being read to. The sounds of your voice will be enough to have her asleep in no time.
I think you are doing a splendid job and should just keep on while she goes through this stage. Things will change later.

I don't know what time you are putting her to sleep but sometimes and early bedtime helps. I used to have the hardest time getting my 3 oldest kids to sleep around 9 p.m. It was always a battle. Once school started for the oldest I started putting all 3 to bed at 7 and really never had another argument. She might just be getting too tired. Also, the suggestion of a new bedtime routine was good.