Santa Claus - Louisville, KY

Santa is the joy in all of us, young or old. I believe in the generosity of the story, and that we give to others out of love. There is no reason not to believe in the story if it makes you happy, and there is no reason to know that Santa couldn't possibly bring all of the gifts he brings without help from Mom. I would ask him what he thinks, and see what he says. I bet he has his own thoughts. My oldest son gives their children 3 gifts from Santa, everything else is from others.

I have a 10 year old son that still believes in Santa. His friends at school also started telling him that Santa does not exist. I told my son that there are people who believe and those that do not and it was a choice that he had to make. I also told him the story of how Santa began. He chose for himself to believe that there is a Santa, but that it is not the original one. He took the story line of a Christmas movie, that the job of Santa is passed down to family members and incorporated it with the movie "Polar Express." He no longer asks to go see "Santa" at the mall, or other things that he used to do, but he does seem happy about his choice of believing in his idea of Santa.

I have a ten year old son and we still have not formally addressed that Santa is not real. He has mentioned that there are kids at school that say he's not real. I have just asked him if he believed, not in Santa just if he believed. He said that he does. I explained the importance of believing in the spirit of Christmas. I also reminded him that it does not matter what the kids at school say, but it helps that one of his good friends still believes. Good Luck!

Hi C.,

When we were young, once we were old enough or asked enough questions, our parents told us that "Santa" was the spirit of keeping the magic alive for the kids who still believe. They told us that now that we knew, it was our job to keep the secret for the littler kids.... that we were now part of Santa.

So, instead of taking away the magic, we got to be part of it. Once we knew, we were allowed to stay up and help put out the presents (although, after we went to be "Santa" put out a few more special deliveries for us). We told my nieces and nephews the same way an no one has ever been disappointed!

Good luck!

I explained to my ten year old that “as long as you believe that there is a Santa Clause, you will always receive presents from him.” “When you stop believing in him, than he won’t be the one to bring your gifts anymore, he will pass that job onto someone else”, ie…mom and dad) My ten year old definitely plays it up for my 3 year old though. I think its fun for him to help her believe.

Hi C.,
First I have to say, why isn't there a Santa Claus? Have you by any chance read "Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus?" It's a great little article. And now a book. I am 34 and while know there is no man that comes in the night to leave me gifts, there is a Santa Claus. So why not tell him that. Tell him the stories of Father Christmas and St. Nicholas and how we are all Santa Claus at Christmas. It's part of the spirit of giving. My mom collects Santas and all so we have a lot of books on them. My kids love to have them read to them. As Christians we make a bigger deal out of Christ's birth anyway. We even go so far as to set a spot for him at our table, just to remind us what the season is all about.

But I think maybe I tell him the stories and help him to understand that while for him Santa Claus is not as real as he was, for his sister he is. He could he help you with that. You know involving him in the pleasure of giving to his sister might help him in other ways as well. And he'll probably be thrilled to be able to help you with surprises, then let him know that he'll continue to recieve gifts from "Santa" as well. I don't remember my mom ever telling me he wasn't real. I got Santa gifts up until my first son was born and I'd been married for 5yrs. LOL Sad, huh?

But I'd say take it a bit at a time and just help him to see that Santa is as much a part of Christmas as Carols are.

hugs and hope that might help.
WendyK

Hi C.,

I do not think that you have waited too long. I believe in keeping them innocent and letting them believe in the good of this world for as long as possible too.
My son's were 10 when they learned the truth and it was told to them for the same reason. I'll tell you the story of my middle son.
The way we handled it was to sit down with him, and we started: "So, we understand that other kids are making you doubt Santa"
Him: Yes, they are making fun of me and calling me a baby for believing"
Us: Well, the truth is that a long time ago, "Santa Claus" was real. He would hand out candy and small gifts to the kids in town as celebration. When he died, (yes my son's knew of life and death) parent's all over the world carried on his tradition in his name, bringing the same joy to kids that he had years ago" To this my son looked sad, started crying and then yelled "I can't believe you LIED to me! If Santa's not real what about the Easter bunny?" After his just getting mad at us for "lying" we opted for the truth, to which he said " OMG! The Easter bunny too!!??!!, WELL! At least there's still the TOOTH FAIRY!" For obvious reasons, we left that one alone!! As for your younger child, once our son calmed down, we told him that it was his responsibility as an older brother to let his younger brother believe in Santa and let him learn in his own time. My son respected that.
Do not let my son's story deter you, we all laugh over it now. If anything, his reaction was validation that as parent's we did a good job validating Santa!
Good luck to you,your son and your daughter

B.

There's no Santa Claus???!!!...since when??Im 38yrs old and still beleive in Santa Clause.It's part of Christmas Santa is.Basically what I told my boys is that you believe what you believe but when there are extra gifts under the tree..not from mom/dad or other family.You figure out how they got there..wink.You can also ask him not to spoil it for you 3yr old since she still believe...good luck
S. B

I had to tell my children about Santa at a fairly young age and I am glad I did. We are a christian family so they know the true meaning of Christmas, but they know that Santa Claus is a fun way to celebrate this holiday. When my children started asking for things that were way beyond our means we told them that Santa was broke and did not have a lot of money. They started questioning about this because Santa is supposed to be the one that makes the toys so money was not an issue. So then we told them that mommy and daddy bought the stuff and Santa just delivered them to the good boys and girls (I really didn't want to totally ruin the idea od Santa). This worked maybe one year and my son (8 at the time) got smart and said that Santa was not real. He said it in a way as to question me. I then talked to both of my children (8 & 6), and told them that Jesus is the true reason for Christmas and the other stuff was just for fun. I let them know that was the reason that they were disappointed when they did not get everything that they asked for. They have cousins that are younger than they are and they do know that they should not tell them the truth because it will ruin their fun although my children have never been disappointed as I was afraid they would be. It is still fun and exciting on Christmas morning because they are still surprised by what they are getting. This decision is totally one that you will have to consider for the sake of your own family beliefs but I am glad I had the discussion with my children early. They are now 8 & 10 and we enjoy Christmas without the stress of having to figure out what they are expecting from Santa.
Good Luck with whichever route you go!!

There is a book I purchased years ago at Barnes and Noble - Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus. It gives the legend of St. Nick and how we carry on that tradition even today. Yes, the "real" Santa might be deceased, but we are continuing his legend through giving to our children. I don't feel it's lying, it's just a perspective that children might not have. My daughter is 12 and I think this is the year she will learn the "truth." Nevertheless, I've saved this book for 10 years for this very time...

Hope this helps!

I refuse to tell my children that there is no Santa. There are just to many mericules that happened especially during the holiday's for me to say that there is no Santa Clause. I explain to my twelve years old daughter that just because I have not seen The Real Santa does not mean he does not exist. I have never seen a million dollars but I'm sure it exists. Also when she is old enough and she wants to, she can become one of Santa's helpers just like most of the grown ups she knows. The ability to believe in what can not be proven is the very basis of faith. A person with out faith can loose hope when faced with life's challenges. The faith that Christmas will always be a joyful, happy time is a gift they will pass on in the years to come.

.

I started with telling mine about the real man, St. Nicholaus. Then explain that people liked what Nicholaus did so much, that after he died, they continued his custom, and that it spread from there. The original Saint Nicholaus is dead now, but the tradition he started, honoring the birthday of the baby Jesus with gifts for other kids, has been continued by Santa's helpers.
M.

My Stepson asked me about Santa when he was 8. He already told me that he knew where his mom kept the "Santa" gifts and he didn't believe. I told him that there wasn't a single person who acted as Santa, but all the wonderful people who bought gifts for underpriviledged children were their "Santa" Santa is someone who gives to the less fortunate. That worked well for him, and now he always wants to participate in Angel Tree kids.

Tell him who santa is but also tell him as long as he believes santa will still visit him also. Also make sure he knows the true meaning of christmas is all about the birth of Christ.

I have a 9 year old son also and I have a 7 year old son. Last year the samr thing happened to me. I explained to my then 8 year old son that Mom & Dad were Santa and now that he was old enough he could be Mom's helper but since his brother still believed he needed to keep the secret until his brother got a little older. I let him help fill the stockings and put the presents under the tree after his brother goes to sleep and that away he feels involved and he wasn't too upset with the truth. I hope this helps you. Good Luck

C.,

Last year someone else asked this question and I saved the responses for my own future use. (I have a 10 and 7 yr. old that still believe)
This one really seemed to fit your needs.
Good Luck,
Jen

I asked My Husband to handle this one for me. He is a RBS Real Bearded Santa.
Ho Ho Ho,
This is always a tough question for all of us, including us Santa's.
I posted your question on the Santa message board I belong to I got the views from some of the older Santas and here are a couple of things to consider saying.
In a case such as this I believe I would go with the spirit of Christmas explanation. While there once was truly a Santa {St. Nicholas) a long long time ago and what he did meant so much that people decided to carry on the works. That is how we have Santa today. Tell the child that believing in something we can't see is faith. And then ask the child not to explain this to her sister yet because she is not old enough to understand quite yet.

this is a link she had put on there too...not sure if it still works but it has a story in there as well.
http://www.papasanta.com/carmen.html

I would just tell him that his friends are right there is no Santa but that it would be fun if he could help you with "being santa" for his little sister.

JUST BELIEVE!!!! The first realization in a child's life of knowing their parents lie!! I dread this moment!!

I hope you can tell your son that if he believes, that is all that matters. How would his classmates know such a thing? I think they are making it up!! Believing in Santa Clause is a magical wonderment, and as long as he believes.....Santa IS real!! Maybe that's not the case for these other children!! I doubt Santa will stop at anyone's house who doesn't believe in him!! All of those poor parents stuck with the responsibility of buying so many Christmas presents because their children have lost their imaginations!!

Fill his head and heart with all of the magic of Christmas!! And don't forget the cookies and milk!!

What a bummer that your 9-year old is on to the fact that Santa is not real. My son has never believed in the Tooth Fairy but is still oblivious to Santa. My advice would be not to mention it to him but when he asks you just say that Santa is not a real person and that you know that he is a big enough boy not to ruin it for his little sister. Ask him if he remembers how fun it was to open presents and think that Santa had brought them for him and then tell him to allow his little sister to experience that thrill too. Tell him that the real meaning of Christmas is Jesus' birth but that we give presents to the people that we love to show them that we love them. Best wishes!!

I'd ask what he thinks and go from there. But also make sure he never stops believing in the magic of the season and the spirit of Christmas.

Also, maybe you can let him help play the part to keep the magic alive for his younger sister if he decides he doesn't believe.

Why do you have to tell him at all? I know this is going to probably sound odd, but I don't know if my 11 year old really still believes or if she is just playing along. She has 2 younger sisters and I don't think she would want to ruin it for them if she did know. My oldest has had a friend since first grade that did not believe in Santa. My response when asked was "People that don't believe in Santa just don't get presents from him." I have always told my girls that a few presents are from Santa and the rest are from Mummy and Daddy. I am not very good at keeping up a lie to my kids, but like you I want to keep them as innocent I as I can. I hope that helps.

I wouldn't tell them yey or ney! I would just say, "it is all in what you belive in" and leave it at that. Let him decide if he wants to believe or not.

When my nephew was 8yrs this started with him. My sister didn't want to tell him yet. She told him that a lot of people don't believe in santa but when you stop believing, you stop getting presents from Santa. The next year when it happened again. My nephew was telling how a boy at school told him Santa wasn't real and how my nephew said that was stupid and he felt sorry for him because he wouldn't get presents from santa anymore. My sister couldn't beleive she'd convinced him so thoroughly. He's 12 now and I think has figured it out but hasn't said so in order to still get presents. My parents always said you only got presents until you quit beleiving. That's why I still firmly believe in Santa and I still get a stocking full at my home and a present or two from Santa under my parents tree. :)

C.:
Sorry I am late to respond on this. I have an 8 yr old boy. He just asked me the other night if Santa was real. I wasn't sure what to say or how to handle it, but I have always been honest so decided to tell him the truth. I just told him no. His next question was, "who buys the presenets" then he answered it himself by saying "you do, don't you?". Because he believed in Santa, I would always write from Santa on one or two of his presents. He then asked me why they said from Santa. I just told him it was because he believed and I didn't want him to be disappointed. Then he asked about the tooth fairy. So be prepared for your son to ask about other holidays or things if you choose to tell him there is no santa.

I did go ahead and tell him that other children still believed in Santa and it was not his place to tell them now that he knew. I also explained about why we celebrate Christmas, the birth of Jesus. Even though he knew this.

My dad told my sister (6 yrs older) there was a santa. Kids at school told her no. She came home crying and accused him of lying to her. Therefore, I was told up front there was not a santa.

It is hard to decide how to handle it. However you do, good luck.

A.

Hi
I still tell my 10 & 12 year old sons (and now my 9 yo dtr is wondering) that there IS actually a Santa Claus - because it is the Spirit of Christmas (S.C.) that is the giving part of us and in us all. That is how the whole Santa thing got started when Saint Niklaus (changed over the years to Santa Claus) was generous and loving enough to make/give toys to all the children in his community. It was an act of love, which is what the Christmas season is REALLY all about anyway, so I don't feel it is a lie in the end. It is a magical part of childhood - and it didn't ruin my perception of "is there really a God/Jesus if there is no Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy?" - most kids are smart enough to understand and enjoyed it while it lasted - my own did and I did as well.

Plus I just tell my older ones that any kid that doesn't believe in Santa anymore doesn't get a visit from him - and he is the one that brings the big stuff that Mom & Dad can't afford! That keeps their traps shut around my little girl, who is staying innocent alot longer than most of her peers, and I am going to let her go on as long as she wants "believing in love" - so best wishes to you and your family and early Merry Christmas! :D

what?! there's no Santa Claus? :) no wonder my checkbook dwindles at Christmas time :) good luck, in whatever you decide :)

Just give it to him straight. Tell him about the real man named St. Nicholas, then go on to tell him how the legend became part of many Christmas celebrations. He is old enough to understand that he shouldn't spoil it for his sister. He doesn't still believe in the tooth fairy or the easter bunny, does he? Then he won't have a problem with Santa being a fairy tale.

Oh my my,
There is such a spirit of Santa Clause.
He is the spirit of giving gifts to all
those who seek it.
It can be love, caring, being together
and having special time knowing one another.
And giving of special things to enjoy.
And always saying I love you.
Oh yes he does exist in all our hearts.
I do believe He is God.

Have a good day Today
Vicki W.

C.,
I faced this same dilemma with my children, now 12 and 15. Since I promised my children never to lie to them I didn't dispute the existence of Santa Claus. I just explained that I believe Santa Claus represents the magic that is Christmas. He's real if you want to believe in that magic. I also told my son that if he didn't want to believe in Santa that was okay but then Santa wouldn't bring him anything because you can't get a gift from someone who doesn't exist. He always got one "big" present from Santa and one from us. I haven't heard a thing about no Santa Claus again. Hope this helps.
L. D.

This is a tough one. It was about that age all mine began to ask questions, little younger perhaps. At first my reply was 'well what do YOU think' and that seemed enough to keep the Santa alive for a while. But I will tell you that all my kids were mad that I 'lied' to them. I never thought of it as lying, I thought of it as pretending. But they didn't see it that way and I felt I lost some of their trust in doing so. I often wonder if I had it to again, would I even do it, probably not.

I want them to know the true meaning of Christmas & not get caught up in the 'what can Santa give me' part of it. But I think you can tell your son the truth & then tell him that you've been pretending to make it more fun & see if he will continue to do it for his little sister. Mine did, they never told the youngers the truth.

Best of luck, it's hard when they start finding these things out, like the Tooth Fairy.

The Elf always came to our house and hid candy in the Christmas tree. When my niece was old enough to find out Santa wasn't real... we told her if she told our daughter about it the Elf wouldn't come anymore. That's all it took. Our daughter thought Santa was real until she was 10... then we felt it best we tell her the truth so she wasn't ridiculed by classmates.

This is how my mother handled it with us, how my grandmother handled it with her children, and how I handle it with my children. When they come to you and ask about Santa take them to the side privately and tell them the truth. Tell them that they are one of the big kids now that they know the secret of Santa. Then make them part of the secret. Take them shopping with you to pick out a Santa gift for a younger sibling, let them help you wrap the Santa gifts for all the children. Let them enjoy the spirit of Santa with you!

My brother sister and I are all 5 years apart, I am the oldest. My parents never came right out and said that there wasn't a Santa. My mom just kinda looked at me with this "I'll never tell" smerk and asked what I thought. I sat there for about 5 minutes and argued for AND against the whole ordeal... and my parents just listened and left it alone when I finally came up with the "not real" verdict. They did the same with my brother and I can vividly remember him arguing, in a fun way, with them about it. All they ever said was, "You know, if you don't believe in Santa...he won't leave you presents..." It kinda kept up the fun even though we were older... We told my parents we believed in Santa, but secretly did it because it made it more fun for mom. My dad would stop on the way home from Christmas Eve dinner where there was a tower in view and said it was rudolph's nose and santa was coming. He'd actually get out of the car and jump around waving at it yelling hi to Santa. We had to get home and go to be immediately! Now that I am a mom, I know what that's all about... Anyway, I know that I probably didn't help, but it was fun to share old memories! Is there any harm in not telling them? I turned out fine... And Christmas is still my favorite holiday!

My older sister came across this problem too. She asked her son what he thought. He said that he doesn't believe there is really a Santa. (She gives gifts from Santa and from her/husband at Christmas). He has two younger siblings. She told him with a real stern face and a matter of fact way-that Santa no longer comes to those who don't believe. He got the message right away and promised not to tell. Good luck.

M.

ask him what he thinks. My mother did this with me and she was surprized at the answer she got... I told her "i believe in the spirit of Santa but not a fat man coming in to my house at night" lol good luck let him be your guide as to what you tell him.

I always told mine, " If you truly believe, there is"
My daughter heard this at school too. She came home really upset, and told me I had lied to her. I said No I didn't, I just didn't tell her who it was !!!!
Hope this helps.

My daughter was nine when she asked me. The key here (my opinion) is to be honest about it.
Remind him the real reason for the season and explain that until he was old enough to understand that, then he had santa clause.
I also had a younger child. I told my daughter that as long as she didn't spoil "our" secret with her brother then she would still receive gifts from santa.
Now they are older (almost 11 and 13) and they only receive gifts from me but both still enjoy the holidays.

Please don't look at this as ruining something. I believe it is a chance to be honest and develop an honest relationship with your child.

We have not had to do this yet and I will be sad when we do. I wish that when others tell there children they would also tell them not to ruin it for others. Just an idea maybe share the history behind Santa and why you as a family celebrate Christmas the way you do. If you share the tradition part and why it is important you can the enlist him to help make it special for your daughter.

I represent a different view and experience.
I always told the truth about any of the myths, legends, and lies that society believes are necessary for a "normal" childhood.
It was made easier because I didn't start telling it to begin with, as we don't observe Christmas, Easter, Halloween. The problems come from those who do, who hate that we don't celebrate and become very intolerant and often cruel.

I would advise anyone to tell the truth when your children ask. If they're asking, chances are they already have a pretty good idea of what's going on, and need validation from the parents. (This is true of anything they come to you about, including the Santa thing, sex, religion, etc.) It can be used in a very positive way to demonstrate that no matter what, you will always be there to answer ANY questions they have as they grow, and that you'll always be honest and truthful with them.

I have a very mature 10-year-old as well as a 9-year-old who acts like a little boy. A couple of years ago, my oldest son and his classmates debated the likelihood of Santa and decided that it was impossible. My youngest son still fully believes in Santa. I told my oldest that as long as you believe in something, it will always be there and if you do not believe anymore then that is ok but you should never let your beliefs or lack of them ruin things for those who do. I told him that he could talk to me about it anytime he wanted to but that he should never discuss it with anyone that he knows still does believe in things like Santa, the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc because he would never have liked someone to ruin it for him while he was little. He likes the idea because then he still gets Santa gifts and money for teeth that have fallen out as the kids at school also had a discussion about this apparently. Hope this helps.

Good Morning,
We have one adopted son, now 19, and we decided from the very beginning to never lie to our son about his adoption and have carried this into all areas of his life. He figured things out at an early age, being an only child, and we told him the truth then but at the same time told him the history of Santa Claus, Kris Kringle (sp?). There are a lot of good kids books out there that give you the history behind Santa. Just explain these different beliefs' to him and tell him how important and fun it is for other, younger kids to believe in Santa and how important it is for him to not ruin their fun. Then you might include him in activities that help keep this belief alive for your younger child; like picking out their present, or wrapping the gift and hiding it. It will help them feel more grown up and part of the activities. God Bless, B. E.

Hi C.,

Funny, my friends and were just talking about this last night. Your son is about at the age where kids find out. Our kids are 10 and 13 and we're not sure if the younger one still actually believes or not. The older one will recite the rule "If you don't believe, you don't receive." when asked. I volunteer at school and have always said this to the kids in class when they try to spoil it for the other ones. Hopefully, the teacher will help with this. My friend's 5 year old told his entire class at show and tell because he caught his mom wrapping the presents and she refused to lie to him. We told our older child if he didn't play along he wouldn't get any presents. We used to tell them that while Santa delivered the presents, he wasn't a rich man and that he sent Mommy and daddy a bill for the gifts. (My husband wanted credit for the presents!) We open presents from each other Christmas Eve and Santa comes Christmas Day. At my in-laws house, all the presents are from Santa. Everyone plays along. It's fun. If he askes you about it, you don't want to lie. Our explanation was that there are just too many people in the world for Santa to deliver to everyone, so parents help out. My children also know that the Santas at the mall and such are only Santa helpers, not the real thing and they're OK with that. My older one has never tried to ruin the holiday for his sister. It's a little sad, but it is a part of growing up. he's becoming a big boy. Good luck! L.

why not just explain that Santa Claus is more a spirit of sharing and giving and hope and happiness and that although there may not be an actual guy in a red suit descending down the chimney, that the spirit is always alive and well and that it's important to celebrate that hope and optimism

As a mom of 4, I got to go through this multiple times. It's not as big of a deal as it seems. We explained that it is a game that we play. Santa isn't a person but he does symbolize the spirit of giving. Let him know that all the presents he's been getting over the years came from you and his dad. You bought them all and gave them to him to enjoy. (Remind him of that special toy that he wanted. Tell him where you bought it and how you looked for it for days before you found it.) You'll be surprised at how grateful kids become when they realize how you've done so much for them. They appreciate it more knowing that you spent your hard earned money and free time looking for "just the right gift". You'll hear "thank you mom and dad" rather than "look what Santa gave me".
It will most likely lead into discussions about the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy. Be ready to discuss your faith with your child too. This is a good time to teach the difference between believing in Jesus and believing in Santa. (Jesus is alive and truly watching over us. Santa is a game of make believe. Kids don't always understand the difference.)
Go ahead and talk to him. He's ready.
And get ready... tougher talks aren't too far away, and you surely don't want his friends at school to be the ones to teach him about that stuff! ... you've got some time before that though.
God Bless,
L. C.

My oldest is 8 and he asked a couple of questions last year, but basically, we left it up to him to believe what he wanted to. We told him we couldn't afford all the gifts he got, but if he didn't believe, then surely there wouldn't be as many gifts. I'm not too sure what happened after that, but he fully believes still. He hasn't questioned since and has started talking about what will go on his list to Santa. My advice is to draw it out as long as you can. When I found out, I was older than most (my parents were very good at playing it up), I think I was 12....but once I didn't believe, it wasn't magical anymore, and to me, it wasn't the same ever again...until I had kids of my own. One thing I suggest though, is that once he is sure there is no Santa, maybe consider letting him "help" you play Santa, putting the gifts out, that way he can contribute to the magical experiences for his sister. My mom did that for me and it made me appreciate the importance of not ruining the secret for her, and let me play a new part in Christmas.

Try to explain to him that Santa Claus is a feeling. And it seems to me that he is old enough to understand that he still needs to play along with his sister. I am 40 years old and still believe in Santa Claus. I know the real meaning of Christmas, according to my beliefs. But, the thought of someone who cared enough to help others, just makes me feel good. I hope this helps. Good luck and God Bless.

My Dad always said if we did BELIEVE santa would quit coming. I still do!

Hi C.,
I completely understand your thoughts about Santa and keeping his innocence as long as possible. My daughters say that they still believe in him (age 7 and 9). I'm thinking, though, that because they have heard naysayers (other friends) telling them that he isn't real, they already have doubts, but just don't want to say anything to me for fear of losing all of Santa's presents.

The fact that he is coming to you says that he does already have doubts. If my daughters start expressing doubts I am thinking that it would be best for me to just go ahead and tell them the truth. I would present it as "the spirit of Santa remains alive forever" and tell them the story of Saint Nicholas. I will probably tell them that it is our job to be "Santa", and when we have children, or other younger siblings, we can be part of something special.

Because we celebrate Christmas, my children know the whole story of Jesus' birth and all that goes with that. So maybe I will tie in the spirit of giving with Santa. That Santa represents giving, which is really what Christmas is all about - Jesus coming to this earth to give us eternal life.

I am hoping to read the other responses to your question. My 7 year old was asking about the tooth fairy the other day and was upset because she didn't leave any money. I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth, because she was already so upset. We just told her the tooth fairy had too many houses to go to that night.

It is hard to tell them the truth when they want so badly to believe in the fantasy. My parents never told us there was a Santa or tooth fairy, and I do feel that I missed out on that. I have heard parents say that their children were devastated when the truth was told (about Santa, tooth fairy), and others say that their children were very nonchalant about it all.

Blessings to you

C., I know I'm terribly late to this question and undoubtedly will be repeating some things you have already seen. But, bear in mind, if your son is asking you about Santa, he has already started to question the existance of this fantastic being who can travel all around the world in one night!

He has, no doubt, seen and heard the story of St. Nicholas many times and in many different variations. Talk to him about that story and explain to him St. Nicholas' love of children and how, because parents and families and friends also love the children in their lives, they want to carry on the work that Nicholas did while he was alive. (Thus the 'Spirit of Christmas' is always alive and well as long as people love one another!) Tell him how people see things that are not so wonderful in the world and they long to hold onto a little of the goodness that Nicholas spread so freely so we have set aside this opportunity to show others that goodness and how much we care about them when they are so busy and stressed out the rest of the year. Remind him of that saying, "Keep Christmas Alive All Year 'Round", and make sure he understands that Nicholas' goodness was, indeed, spread all year 'round.

He will likely ask you eventually why people of non-Christian faiths do not celebrate Christmas, then. You will want to talk to him about the birth of Jesus and how the church, not knowing exactly when the Christ was born, chose to celebrate that momentous time in the church calendar at a time of year when people were celebrating the winter change of seasons because it was already tied to the winter solstice, a time of sharing and closeness among people. Explain to him that, because it is, basically, a Christian holiday, other faiths have chosen to celebrate that spirit of loving and giving in other ways.

This will probably, at some point lead to a question of Kwanzaa. A whole 'new' kettle of fish that has shown up in the last forty years or so... not a religious holiday but a societal ethnic celebration. Talk to him about how many people whose ancestors trace back to slaves brought over from Africa (and some who do not but still feel a link, if only by ethnic commonalities) still feel a connection to their ancient African heritage and this is their way of reminding themselves and their children of their ancestry.

Be sure to let him know he does not have to wait until Christmas to do something nice for someone else but Christmas reminds us that we are connected to something greater and bigger than ourselves and giving to others is one way we can experience that. And that, essentially, is what Santa Claus is all about.

Do remind him that younger children may still believe in Santa Claus as the jolly fat man of The Night Before Christmas, so it might be nice of him not to ruin their fantasy too soon. And suggest that he might want to point out to his friends at school that, although Santa may not be 'real' the way they think of him, Santa is very much alive and well everytime someone says, "Merry Christmas" or puts money in a Salvation Army bucket, or donates clothes or toys to a Christmas charity drive like the Salvation Army Angel Tree, or any of the myriad of possibilities for giving and sharing during the Christmas season.

When my son was young, we made an event of selecting an angel from the Angel Tree at the Mall and would go shopping for all the goodies for our special angel. It not only taught him something about the spirit of giving, but it also helped him to understand there are other children in the world who are not as fortunate as him. This might be a good time to start such a tradition with your son. It is a wonderful way to make the transition from a little boy on the receiving end of Christmas and Santa's goodwill to joining the giving side and engendering a little philanthropic aspect to his Christmas. And he can start to feel the wonder of "It's more blessed to give ..."

It can be a crushing experience for a youngster to learn that Santa is not real. This means that, among other things, his parents have been lying to him. That is why it is so important for your son to understand that, while Santa is not a physical reality in the body of one, singular individual, his goodness is very real, you wanted him to experience that and it gave you and Daddy the chance to give him special gifts you would like to be able to give him year round but could not afford, and that is why you did not tell him sooner the realities of Santa Claus.

Good Luck and Merry Christmas.

BTW: My children are both grown and I have a grandson who is ready to start college (OUCH!) And they all still get gifts from Santa Claus!

what we told our children when they were smaller was that there was a Santa Clause but that he was not the main reason for the toys. I then explained that Christmas was about the birth of Jesus and how God sent us his best and he wanted us to have his best so He allowed mommy and daddy to have jobs and but them toys but they would still see Santa in the stores and on t.v. We also explained that all parents have not told their children about Santa and if they are told that there really is a Santa to agree, because thats what they see on t.v. and in the mall

My daughter figured it out on her own at 10 but she is willing to play along for the sake of my younger one because if she doesn't Santa will stop coming (God forbid! lol) As for what I said to my daughter when she asked me: Santa is as real as you believe he is. If you want to believe, do it, no matter what your friends think or believe. Santa may not be "real" but it's a fun game and as long as you "believe" he will bring you gifts (within reason, of course, since my daughter is a smart alec like me she agreed to believe for the rest of her life, lol).

Hi!

My family has always said that as long as you believe, then there will always be the spirit of Santa Claus. While my children aren't old enough to know anything else yet, my plans are to do the same with them that was done with me and my younger sister...my mom sat us down and reminded us about the real St. Nick from years ago and what he done for the children in his village and then she also told us that as long as we believed, then there would always be Santa/St. Nick. And of course, if we chose not to believe, then there would be no "Santa Claus quality" presents at Christmas.

Hope that helps some, I know my response is like a bunch of others you've gotten!

It is probably most important that whatever you say to your son (and your daughter) is consistent with your own view of the world. If your children hear you say one thing about Santa but see something different in your actions or responses, they will be distressed at some level. Whatever you say will be reassuring to them so long as it is true and meaningful for you.

When this issue came up in our family, it became part of an ongoing conversation about the different ways in which things are real. Some things are real in a way that is very physically tangible: bread, for example, can be felt, seen, tasted, and smelled. Some things are real in ways that are less tangible: music can be heard but not seen, tasted, smelled, or touched. Still other things are far less tangible but no less real: love cannot be seen, heard, tasted, smelled, or touched, but its effects are nevertheless evident all around us. Every time this sort of thing comes up we talk about this spectrum of reality, and the kids decide for themselves where Santa or the Tooth Fairy or whatever belongs. It has changed as they've grown (they're now 11 and 8) which seems healthy and normal to me.

Sorry this is a late response but I just saw your post. You need to get the book Santa Claus's place in Christmas. This is a Christian based book and I don't know what religious affilation you are or are not but it helped us with our son. At 5 years old my son was told my my older nephews who were 11 and 13 at the time that there was no such thing as Santa. He came home and asked my husband while I was at work and my husband told him the blunt truth - there is no Santa. He gave no explanatin or anything. When I got home and found out what had happened I was so upset. I fussed at my husband for telling him and not letting me know he was going to. I asked my son if he had any questions then I got the book I mentioned about and read it to him. It tells the story of St. Nicholas and how the legend of St. Nicholas lived on to become Santa and that is why we play Santa with children. I told him not to say anything to other children about it because their moms and dads probably hadn't told them and still wanted to play the game. He accepted it and now when he is asked by an adult about Santa he tells them he knows that Santa isn't "alive" anymore and that mom and dad are pretending to be Santa, however, he makes sure that no other kids are around when he says it.

I would never come right out and say Santa isn't real.
What I told my daughters was that as long as they believed in Santa, he would be there for them. They are now 20 and 19. Guess who still leaves them presents each year? Guess who still gets cookies and milk each Christmas Eve?
I know they are probably just doing this for me, but who cares. We all get joy from it.

When my son found out there was no Santa he came to me and I told him that if he didn't believe in Santa then Santa wouldn't bring gifts especially if his little sister found out from him...you'd be surprised how long that kept him from telling her....lol