Restoring the Balance of Power in My Marriage - JFF

Updated on April 10, 2012
T.K. asks from Grand Prairie, TX
7 answers

Seriously JFF - This is me having a lighthearted laugh at myself.
I think I have lost the balance of power. I used to think in every relationship there was always one person that loves more, one person that crushes on the other more, is more eager to please. Now, as a married woman, I realize the pendulum swings. My husband is usually the one hungry for my attention (and sex) and I'm usually the one who is sort of indifferant. If we get to spend time together, great, if not, no biggie. But that's just beacuse he hadn't been that fun to be around and spent alot of time in the self inflicted dog house. Now, we have entered this new phase in our relationship where he is suddenly everything I always knew he could be and I crave that man! I miss him every minute we are apart. I find myself looking for excuses to call or text him, getting pouty if he doesn't come straight home and run into my arms. lol I'm crushing on this boy! I'm trying not to seem clingy and give him his space but my feelings got hurt last night over Sports Center. I waited up till midnight for him to get home and he didn't want to spend time with me, he was watching the clock and mumbling about SportsCenter. It's a delicious place to be, wanting my man, instead of just putting up with him! But now, how do I go about keeping my dignity and not begging this man! :)

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

I'm not talking about sex. Men are ever-ready on that front. I'm talking about not being taken for granted now that I'm the one crushing. He always wants what he can't have but I want him to still crave my attention and affection.

More Answers

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Aww! That is sweet! :)

I asked my husband, and he said that his answer is the same for everything. A woman can have a man's undivided attention if she:
1) shows up naked
2) brings beer

So there you have it!

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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

Seduce him.

I don't want to make specific suggestions....so the above two words pretty nicely sums up my longer answer (and is safe to read at work). :)

3 moms found this helpful

A.D.

answers from Alexandria on

That's wonderful that you now enjoy your husband like this. What switch did you flip so I can find mine :)

I think a lot of his behavior is that over the years, he has become accustomed to you not being demanding. He is simply behaving out of habbit. It may be a little difficult for him to break, at first, since, after all, he has be pretty much free to do what he's wanted whenever. But I think that over time he will get used to your new behavior and in fact appreciate it.

Just try not to get upset with him or start nagging ;)

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

T. that is so awesome. I too am enjoying my husband lots more the last few years, as you describe. I think it helped with the kids getting older, and not needing us so much.

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hehehe. I love this post! Hey, just be yourself. I do agree that things evolve, but mostly it's me. My husband is pretty consistent. Which kinda puts him at a disadvantage cause if he ever acts differently for like a day, I'm worried, and a burden. LOL. Right now I'm crazy about him, too...

I sorta blame my hormones for that. They have been messed up since I first got pregnant at 21. Then I was literally pregnant or breastfeeding up until I was 28, then it took my body a year or so to adjust. I'm 30 (actually, my last day at being 30 is today) Now, I think things have evened out and I'm so crushing on everything he does. LOL. Or it is my body saying "hey, you haven't had a baby in a while...." But NO... four is enough for me:) And I'm not just talking about sex either... It's everything. I sometimes feel like we are dating again or something:)

1 mom found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

OH MY GOSH...you just described my marriage! We go through spurts as I like to call them...my spurt with crushing on my man has lasted longer than usual. Maybe it's because of all my time spent away from home these days. But I sure miss him...I ALWAYS go to bed at 10...for the last 8 years...no joke. In the last month I have stayed awake til 11 or after to just to get my fill of him. I love the way he makes me laugh, the way he just sits and listens to my babble...but last night he half listened...I interrupted Grimm...

ETA: Never been super romantic kind of gal. But the other day he said something about "romance" and I turned and said "what's that?"...he said "you don't care for it"...I said "I know...right? But maybe just a little?"

1 mom found this helpful
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C.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

I want to know how to get the point your at. That sounds fun lol!

1 mom found this helpful
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