Replying to Responses for Questions You Asked

You just go to the So What Happened link and update there if you need to provide more information or want to let people know what happened.

I know you are new to the forum. Don't get discouraged. It's an internet forum full of strangers, so you're going to get the whole spectrum of responses. Don't feel like you have to spend your time replying to individual responses. It's not productive for what you are trying to get from the site (advice, suggestions, ideas, etc.).

There are a great many people here with wisdom, concern, experience, and compassion. And by compassion, I don't mean people just agreeing with you and telling you what you want to hear, but rather, listening to your story and responding with mature, well-reasoned replies. Sometimes, it's not what you expect or want to hear, but it may be just the thing that helps. Some of the really "out there" responses? Just move on.

There have been many trolls and spammers over the years, so some are suspicious of new posters, particularly when there is a post that is considered by some to be "out of the norm" or "high drama." Also, since you were able to reply to your own initial question, some people think that means you have multiple accounts or whatever. I've been on here long enough to have seen occasions where posters were able to reply to their own post (rare, but it's happened), and there are also a lot of strange mamapedia quirks like double-postings, etc. Again, getting caught up in all that is counterproductive to what you need to be addressing right now with your daughter.

Take what is helpful to you with your situation and let the rest go.

J. F.

There are two ways you can respond. You can type a response in the "So What Happened" field. I always refer to it as SWH. You can also go to the bottom of your question and type ETA (which means "Edited to Add") and then answer the questions there.

If people really want an answer to their question, they will check back and see if you've added anything to your post.

ETA - I'm surprised by the number of people who say they post and never look again. When I get flowers, I usually browse the question, see what other people have posted and read the SWH if there is one. I find it all interesting.

You can put it in your "So What Happened" and hope that people come back to look at updates - that's good for general questions posed by more than one responder or when you feel you could have been more clear.

For specifics, you can click on the responder's name and then click "send a private message" and reply to something personal or just very individual. You have to be sure you reference the question though so they know who you are and what you're referring to. If you just say "Thanks for your support" or "Your response ticked me off," that person has to go back and look you up and see what the exchange was.

I really do not like this site's set up for responding. If you write in the SWH, then there is no way to no if the person you are replying to will actually look at the post. You can also write a private message to the person.

Actually hardly anyone comes back to look at a question once they've answered it. IF IF IF it was something that tugged on there heart or something that made them mad or happy they "might" go back and review the other answers but once it's done it's almost always out of sight out of mind.

Don't worry too much, I don't know too many people that go check their messages either. If there was a way to delete the flowers all at once then we might use the messaging system better but still, we come, read, post a comment, then move on and hardly ever come back.

After a few days I don't even go back and check my questions anymore either.