Potty Training Problem - Maplewood,NJ

First, maybe you might want to check with your pediatrician to make sure there isn't a physical problem. It could partially be that when he upset/mad he's not as in control of himself so he let's go of what he's been holding in. I too don't really think punishing for accidents does anything but I would say try not to make a big deal about accidents. By that I mean just let him know it's okay, not to much discussion and also don't drop everything to get him clean immediately. If your emptying the dishwasher for example, let him know you have to finish first then clean him up. He may be "enjoying" the control he has. My son really hit a wall in potty training, where he could definitely do it but it was just more convenient to not take a break and go in his diapers. I felt he (and I) needed a little extra incentive. I would give him one M & M if he peed in his toilet and three if he pooped. He was trained pretty much immediately. One problem, I'm still "stuck" giving him one M & M for poop. Lastly, he still wears diapers for his nap and bed but I don't care, it was the poops that were killing me! I hope some of these ideas help. Good Luck!

When I needed my son to be fully potty trained at 3 1/2 so he could go to a preschool program, I told him that if he went only in the potty for 1 week he could have new Thomas the Tank Engine train cars, and if he went 2 weeks he could have the station. A very good investment--no more diapers/pullups during the day! Nothing like positive reinforcement and an incentive program.

I think you are right that your guy is not having accidents and I strongly believe that defiance needs discipline. I think with time it will get better as long as you don't allow this behavior to continue.

Hi mom,

I am with you on this one, I think you need to push him to
" WIZ" in the big potty, keep the potty in the same place, and NOT put ANY diaper on him except at night.

I have done a few things,

I use the BOXERS for kids, cause its like wearing nothing,
if you go out, take him out without a diaper and bring a change of clothes, push him to drain his "lizard" at the walmart bathroom

Or Panera bread as these have readily accessible toilets

A friend of mine brought the potty within her mini van
I let mine pee on a tree,

As far as poop goes, when you have your morning coffee, let him have a sip and in 15 minutes sit him on the bowl,
it will help move his bowels so you don't have to worry about catching a POO,

As you can see i used funny words for taking a WIZARD

My boys like them and giggle at them,

Pizac and wizac

Dookey, poopy, dumparooski,

And then of course its followd by the POOPY dance and then the poopy party when sucessfull,

and to improve aim, a Cheerio IS NOT a good idea in my house as its possible to get eaten, by our little one

BUT it might work for you, I hand out reeses pieces because i think they are better than M&M's

-- NOW the touching of the poop I can understand how gross that can be, BUT he is uncomfortable, and he see's you touching it,when you clean his BUM, so he can't associate this as a bad thing or a NO NO

I have hard wood floors which makes it easier to clean,
so BOTTOMLESS, If it hits the floor then NO biggie,
I get the paper towel,
and "DON"T touch the poo," and then toss it in the garbage

This helps. and like i mentioned earlier coffee helps you plan a POO

the PEE on the floor, means he is ready to SHOOT his pee
I put one of those BLUE vanish drop ins in the toilet , and they thought it was KEWL
and if the 2 of them are peeing at the same time it turns green, they laugh hysterically

And lastly, RUBBER pants for outings are GREAT
they cost like 3 bucks for 3 of them at walmart, makes them feel the pee
easy clean up of the poo, and washable
I carry and extra plastic bag in my purse, and just toss it in there after rinsing it off in the sink,

IF its too gross, I toss it, I mean its just a dollar
In my opinion its better than an accident in underwear.

Hope this helps,

Good luck

M

OH and PS What really good is an Egg timer,
to remind you to stick him on the potty,
set it for every 45 minutes.

Do you remember what worked well w/ your daughter and other son?, maybe try those tactics on this son. I suggest making a big chart, w/ stickers - everytime he pees in the potty he gets an average sized sticker, everytime he does poop than he gets a big sticker...something along those lines. Also, if you think he's doing it out of "spite"...have there been any major changes going on as of lately?, did u redecorate the house?, did you talk about having another baby?...anything that would've made him panic and try to get more attention whether it was good attention or bad attention?

W.,

Boy do you have your hands full.
I am also training a little boy, he is almost 3. I do childcare from home and I would suggest that you start with the chart and stickers. I beleive that kids do well when they have an incentive/goal to work for. Of course, no punishment is used as an alternate. Just that when he makes it in the right place and keeps things clean...then they get the sticker and put it were others can see his great progress. Make a big deal over the good days and steps like, got on potty by self, went, flushed and washed hands. Break it all down and each step they can complete on their own gets a reward. If at the end of the day he's
got 5 stickers say, he gets to pick a special reward. Like reading a book with dad or mom. Play a game, go to the park. Break out the playdough (that's a special thing at our house). I think you'll find that they enjoy earning the stickers, so the know what he has to do to get it. Good Luck.

Hi W.,
I believe we are in the same area of Vermont. My son will be 6 in Sept. and he is still having some peeing accidents. Sometimes he starts to poop in pants but he gets very Constipated every since beginning born. I think he gets to busy and occupied and waits to the last minute. It is very important to just keep asking if he has to go potty. My girlfriend uses rewards when her daughter goes potty, a piece of candy or a little something nothing big. We never went with the candy part because both my children have severe food allergies.Hope this helps or shows your not alone. Let me know if you need anymore info. I also have a daughter that is almost 8. Thanks B.

Hi W.,
I would suggest schedule the potty trips. Try to schedule a trip to the potty every hour. Set your microwave timer and have him go. Praise him for trying and for actually going. Just getting him in the bathroom regularly will help. Another idea is to make a sticker chart for him and after so many stickers, your son could turn them in for a prize. Just an idea.