S.V. asks from Buena Park, CA on August 06, 2009
How to Deal with My Son 3 Years Old Going Poop in the Toilet
Please help mommy's out there
My son has no problems going pee in the toilet but when it comes to going poop he just will not do it...
I hope someone can help me
Thank you very much
2 moms found this helpful
So What Happened?™
Thank you for all the advise
We will be working with our son and be patient with him I know we/he can do this!
L.D. answers from Las Vegas on August 08, 2009
Welcome to my world! I have a son who will be 5 in November and still refuses to poop in the toilet, he wants a diaper on. I just asked my own question on here looking for success stories of this particular problem. I wish you good luck. Right now we are on the new big toy sitting in front of the toilet...he poops, he gets. It gets to be frustrating as a parent but just think how he's feeling.
C.P. answers from Los Angeles on August 07, 2009
I had the same problem with my son. Prior to potty training, he pooped daily in the mornings. Once we started potty training, he started pooping every other day and in the evenings. I tried every incentive I could think of (sticker charts, treats, special toys) but nothing worked. My mother suggested I discipline him. I tried time outs first. After an accident, he would say to me “go sit in the corner?” so that didn’t work. I also tried to make him clean himself up to which he responded happily “I’m a big boy now. I get to clean myself” so that didn’t work. I tried making him stay on the potty until he went when I knew he had to go thinking if I did that a few times he would realize it was no big deal but he his fear remained. What finally did work is going to sound odd but I was at my wits end and felt I didn’t have anything to lose.
1. Offer him a pull-up when you notice he has to poop but tell him he has to poop in the bathroom because that’s where people poop.
2. After he does this easily, continue to offer him a pull-up but tell him he has to poop in the bathroom while sitting on the potty.
3. After he does this easily, offer him a pull-up that has a hole cut in the bottom (don’t let him see the hole). When he stands up, make a big deal about the poop in the potty.
My son was very confused the first time he saw the poop in the potty and said “but I pooped in my pull-up.” I told him that the pull-ups must not work for poop anymore. The important thing I realized is that he knew when he needed to go and he knew how to go. For whatever reason, he was just afraid to go.
If you haven't already done so, I would switch to underwear 100% of the time. My son's preschool teacher told us she sees the best results when parents fully commit to underwear. Only use pull-ups for naps and night time. I know this may seem like a hassle especially because of the poop issue but I think keeping him in diapers/pull-ups sends a mixed message. My son was in underwear for 3 full months before I tried cutting a hole in his pull-up. I wish I would have cut the hole in the pull-ups way sooner.
1 mom found this helpful
F.C. answers from Los Angeles on August 06, 2009
Do you know why he won't poop in the toilet?
Is he afraid he might fall in? Does he have the proper potty chair? Does he not like the splash that a poop might create?
Start with his reasons and then be patient. I do not recommend making him sit "forever" until he goes. Some kids hold their bowel movements, causing their intestines to enlarge and you don't want this either. So, be patient.
Still, be consistent. Every single time he poops NOT in the toilet, undress him, take him to the potty, make him sit and then explain to him why it's important to let it go. There are some books (Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi) or you can show Youtube videos of Elmo, etc. potty training.
When he DOES poop in the toilet, give a reward like a sticker or favorite item. With my oldest son, we bought a bunch of Tonka Trucks (the small size) and put them in a clear plastic container. Every time he used the potty, he got one! Then, when he did not go in the potty, we took a truck back. The plastic container has to be clear so he can see the trucks. You can also use a reward chart.
Really, the most important thing is for you to observe your son and find the REASON behind his apprehension and then for you to be CONSISTENT and PATIENT. Like my son's pediatrician told me "He won't be in diapers when he's 10 years old, so just give him time."
A.A. answers from Los Angeles on August 07, 2009
My 27 month old daughter was doing the same thing. Just this week, we figured out how to get her to go in the potty chair. She wanted some kind of privacy!!
Lots of kids this age will hide behind a sofa or the drapes to poop in their diaper. So, I put her potty chair close to the shower and let her drape the shower curtain around her. I walked out of the bathroom and let her know she'd have her privacy. Within a couple of minutes, she'd gone in the potty chair.
Just this morning, on her own, she told me she had to go. She sat down by herself, covered up with the shower curtain and took care of business.
Hope this helps! Good luck!!
E.S. answers from Los Angeles on August 06, 2009
I think this is harder for kids because 1) they tend not to eat enough fiber, 2) depending on if they're using the regular toilet or a potty chair, it might be hard to get "leverage" (i.e., if they are using the regular toilet and their legs are dangling, they have no "push" haha!).
Things that worked for my son:
2) Giving him a stool for his feet until his legs were long enough to be comfortable on the ground on his potty chair.
3) Giving him a magazine to read each time. He especially loves magazines with guitars, cars or toys.
4) Sticker rewards.
T.F. answers from Los Angeles on August 07, 2009
My son was like this. I didn't pressure him. I let him go in his diaper (I think he would ask for one) and he'd hide behind the couch (for privacy) to go. This went on for months. As they get older, they mature...
One day (when he was 3.5, closer to 4, I * knew * this phase wasn't going to last forever, I just knew to be patient and help HIM by not pressuring him so much) we were at a store, there was a nice clean bathroom toilet there and I * forgot * to bring a diaper. He had to use the toilet.
He did. Slowly he got the hang of it. And he eventually realized he didn't like having to feel that in his diaper.
If you turn this into a power struggle, he'll resist more. It takes awhile for children to feel comfortable doing this.
Same deal with my daughter....
Though also understand public bathrooms typically bad. No wonder they don't want to go. And sit on THAT dirty thing...
L.B. answers from Los Angeles on August 07, 2009
I had this problem recently with my 3year old son. I tried evrything from rewards to getting angry, telling him only babies poop in their pants. It finally just happened one day. He said he had to poop and he went to the toilet himself. One thing people suggessted to me was, if your son popps around the same time everyday, take him every 15 minutes at that time and have him sit while you read a quick book and try. My son has to sit on the toilet rim, I know yuck, but it helps hime be in the right "position" to get the poop out. Luckily we haven't encountered having to poop in a public restroom yet. Good luck.
I.Y. answers from Los Angeles on August 07, 2009
My son is 4 and still won't poop in the toilet. Have you tried stickers, stamps, candy, toys...have you tried everything to bribe him? If so and he still hasn't gone... let it go. He'll poop in the potty when ready. I have tried pushing my guy a little and all he ended up doing is getting constipated and that created HUGE problems. HE even has a younger brother who poops in the potty and still doesn't care. He won't be pooping in his pull up when he's 15... try not to worry too much!!
J.L. answers from San Diego on August 06, 2009
Hi S., Discipline, Discipline, Discipline, put him on the potty and don't let him up, if you know he has to poop. Most kids bowl movements are around the same time each day, my kids were and my daycare kids are. If he poops in the potty reward him, if he poops in his pants, discipline him, I had my kids pooping in the potty at 19-20 months old. Be firm don't give in. J. L.