Potty Training a Toddler Boy

Updated on June 08, 2014
X.2. asks from Washington, DC
11 answers

Hello, maybe you been through this, I have a concern regarding potty training a 2yr 4 mon. boy. I started potty training him on thursday and it went ok. He seemed pretty scared to sit there and having to pee and poop in his potty training thing. I guess its normal for my son to feel this way because it is a big change that we are going through. obviously, he did pee in his little underwear and what not. Seemed scared but i encouraged him and would constantly tell him its ok. Finally, Friday I got him to Poop 2 times. and now he pees there and knows that he has to do it in there. I only have him wear diapers in the nights. So this is the problem, i work and so does my hubby, on Saturady we took our son to the baby sitter and the lady also takes care of like 3 more other grand kids that she has. I told her that she has to be consistant on taking him to pee. She called me that same day letting me know that he has not pee and that has been like about 3 hrs since i left him there. She said that it probably might be because there are to many kids around, so she took him to a private place where it would only be her and him but still would not pee. She said that it seemed that his wee wee was kind of swollen beacasue he was retaining the pee. I know that when Im around he has no problem doing potty. What should I do? Should I stop potty training him? he is doing great though.. Beacsue if he goes over with her he has to wear a diaper b/c he wont do potty... any suggestions???? I just really want to be consistamnt about him not having to wear diapers throughout the day..HELP!

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V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Here's the thing.

He sounds like he is willing with you and at home in a familiar environment, but not so much with someone else or a strange environment (he might be familiar with the daycare itself, but less so with its bathroom, since he's not really been using it, but having diapers changed on him--and it isn't likely that was happening in the bathroom).

He isn't too young to potty train, but perhaps with these parameters, it is best to put him in pull ups. My son was training at that age (and did very well), but I was a SAHM and was there to help him, because at that age, he does probably need help with his clothing and such. Not that he can't pull his clothes off, but doing it "in time" can be a big issue.

It isn't just toddlers and new potty users that sometimes have "strange potty" shyness. I have known adults that won't poop anywhere but their own home. It can really gum up the works when you are training them and they don't have access to their familiar bathroom, though. :/

Alternately, some kids LOVE trying new bathrooms. My daughter was like that.... until she happened across an auto-flush and it scared her.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

The problem is not "is he put on the potty often enough"? The problem is, has his body reached the point where his brain gets the "bladder is full" or "rectum has pressure" signal? You cannot train this. It is a developmental stage and it comes when it comes. You can get lucky and put a child on the potty often enough that something happens while he's there. It does not mean that he felt it coming on and that he had any advance notice. That's a big reason kids have "accidents" - they are not ready. It is not willful, it is not defiant.

It's a lot like making a child walk at 9 months because some kids do. But what if your child just isn't ready until 12 months or 14 months? What if you push the walking so much that he doesn't talk or build or do puzzles or sing? What about reading? What about knowing colors and shapes? What is the rush??? Every child does things in a different order - the objective is to stay open and enjoy whatever stage your child is in.

2.4 is incredibly young for a any child to be ready to use the potty. I don't see what your rush is, frankly. I foresee a huge length of time of frustration if you try to make this happen before he is developmentally, physically ready. It creates defiance, it creates frustration, it creates a huge sense of failure in a child for something he cannot control.

I promise you, he will not go to kindergarten in diapers. Let him be who he is, and don't let him know you are disappointed in him.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Some kids can train at this age while others are not ready yet.
One sign of readiness that often gets forgotten is - they got to want to - there's no way to force them and if you do it becomes a power struggle.

Our son was trained at 3 1/2 and I let day care take the lead on it.
The whole class went at the same time so it was just something everybody did and they had these tiny child size toilets that were not threatening at all.
He came home and showed me what he could do and all I had to do was follow up on the weekends!

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

IMHO, you're starting too young. I tried starting at 2.5 yrs with my first son. I'd successfully trained my daughter at the age, but he wasn't ready. It was a HUGE waste of time and energy. With my youngest, I didn't even start until he was a little over 3 yrs. He was completely trained and wearing underwear in 2 days.

Save yourself and your sitter the aggravation and wait until he's at least 3.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Bless both of you but potty training is his deal. You can lead a horse to water... Dad really needs to be the lead in teaching him that the potty is not scary. But he is pretty young to learn.

Your best friend is water. Give him lots to drink and he won't be able to hold it. 3 hours is not terrible. Your babysitter sounds like she is more reluctant to potty train than your little boy. It is a big change. Be gentle with everyone.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

Your son is clearly not ready to potty train. Forcing the issue at this point will only cause longer delays and more problems. Stop trying to make it happen now. Try again in six months and see how receptive he is then.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think he's really young to be doing this even though he's not a toddler anymore.

Kids his age are past toddling around and are in that pre-school stage, their brains are open and they are absorbing so much information. His brain is occupied by all that is going on at the child care place.

BTW, when she is sitting in a private place with him she is neglecting the other kids OR she's leaving him alone sitting on the potty all by himself.

He needs to work at it but wear pull ups so when he does sit down he can push and pull his pull up and learn what to do when he needs to go.

That is why pull ups are useful. They are a teaching tool. Why use diapers that he has to lay down on the changing table to get them off and on when he can use pull ups and sit on the toilet to put them off and on.

Some boys do okay at this age but not many. Most boys train well after turning 3 but some don't even do it well until age 4. So your little guy is doing exceptionally well for his age.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

It may be too early. My son wasn't ready till he was almost 3, and it took a few weeks. It is NOT going to go according to how YOU want it to. It's his body. So if he's afraid, he's not ready. Don't worry about it. Let him come to the bathroom when daddy does so he can "copy" dad. Also, if he's not old enough to pull his pants down by himself, then he's not ready. Use pullups so he can practice when he's ready. When he can pull his pants down and up without help, then try again.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Too young. When you potty train, you really need to be home for several days or maybe a week until they really get the hang of it. I would wait.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

My kids were older when I started training (just turned 3 and a couple of months before 3), but if your child has shown signs of readiness and is able to make deposits in the potty so quickly, then why not? But expecting a toddler under 2 1/2 to go right from diapers to underwear and be fully trained in just a couple of days may be overly ambitious. He needs to get the routine down at home for more than two days before expecting him to just be comfortable using the potty at daycare.

I don't believe in pullups. It's just another diaper. They prolong the training process and teach kids it's okay to pee/poop in their underwear. I'd suggest heavy, multi layered training pants with waterproof cover. If you are using a potty rather than the toilet, bring his own potty to daycare. Take him to the potty when you drop him off, so that he sees that it's okay and expected for him to use the potty there. I would keep him in underwear. If he holds his pee long enough, eventually he'll pee his pants, and it's that feeling really wet that encourages kids to use the toilet. Pullups don't give them that really wet feeling. Good luck

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Don't push it at daycare, at all. Just do it at home, and when he is ready, he will do it at daycare.

The most important parts of potty training is to not push, to be positive and to keep all the pressure off. When you put pressure on them, then you create a power struggle, and then they just refuse to go potty.

So, how about letting him wear Gerber trainers at daycare They catch all the pee if he wears thicker shorts. The teacher can then change him, etc. and he can still continue being a big boy. If the babysitter is game for this, this might be an alternative.

Also, you need to be patient. It will be a long road until he is fully trained. 2 year olds are very distracted, so are 3s! After months of no accidents, they have accidents. Also, expect major regressions before any step forward. but seriously, slow down, and just let him lead. You will soon be upon the half year regression (kids fall apart at the half year so they can make giant steps forward). If you pressure, your son will stop being so agreeable. In fact ,he soon just will stop being as agreeable. It's the beast called learning to be independent from mom. Talk to him about training pants, and tell him he can wear his undies there when he is responsible and puts his pee in the pot. But let it be his responsibility and his choice.

Kids are usually hesitant to go potty somewhere new the first time. it's normal. give it time.

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