Potty Training My 3 Year Old

I don't know what to say about the daycare other than that they should work with you! Potty training is part of being a toddler, an important part. As for going back and forth between underwear and pull-ups, you could try using cotton training pants that have a waterproof cover built in. Or putting a waterproof diaper cover over his underwear. That way, he still feels when he is wet and is learning those cues.

Good luck!

I would try to find another daycare if that is feasible. When my son was potty training, the daycare suggested I bring him in underwear and supply them with extras in case of accidents. They are very supportive of potty training, and never complain when he has had an accident.

my daycare provider assisted us when we were working on potty training by allowing both of my children (over the past 5 years we've been using her for daycare) wear underwear only when it was time for that. It wasn't a battle for me either, I just told her we're not using the pull ups anymore for daytime potty issues and she didn't fight me or have any issues with the underwear. There were accidents at times and she'd put the soiled clothes in a garbage baggie for me and change him into fresh clothing, she also rewarded him for going on the potty while he was there.

First I want to say that I'm outraged at this Daycare and not only what they're putting your son through, but you as well. I'm an in-home Daycare provider and I'm embarrassed of my fellow daycare providers. This is why God made gloves,plastic bags, and cleaning solution. It's our jobs to support our families with encouraging our toddlers to go to the potty on their own. I highly recommend that you look over your contract and/or parent handbook and ask them to show you where it says that they are not clean up during assistance in potty training. I don't care what they say, you continue to put him in underwear, because he can feel when he's wet and I'm sure is uncomfortable with it. The more he feels uncomfortable, the quicker he'll want to prevent these accidents and will go to the bathroom when he feels the urge to. I'm anti-pullups, because their still like a diaper which our bright toddlers know and will treat it like one. I'm so sorry that you and your wonderful son have to go through this, and encourage you to stand up to your daycare about your rights and your child's right. Good luck and I hope that all go well for all of you.

WOW! What a "set back" for you and your son. My first question would be
"was there anything in your Daycare aggreement which stated your son should be potty trained before entering this daycare?"
My next question is:
"Are they a licensed Daycare?"
If there is nothing written in your agreement, then there should be NO TROUBLE AT ALL coming from your Daycare. As difficult as it is to potty train other people's children, it's still their JOB to help you follow through YOUR potty training techniques, regardless of how "messy" it can be. But, most of us moms ARE sensitive to daycare's cleaning up after our children this way, so we offer ways to help make it easier for the daycare. BUT it should NOT be at the expense of your son learning to use the potty. If you cannot come to an agreement, you may have to switch Daycare's.
If they ARE licensed, then you may have to make a phone call to the state asking what you can do about this daycare not following through to help your child.
I would be FURIOUS that this is happening to my son.
Potty training didn't just begin in the year 2008! It's been around for a long time, and experienced Daycare's should be experts at this by now. Mine was. There are definite "signs" of little people having to go to the bathroom....isn't your daycare "noticing" these signs, or are there too many kids to see each one's needs?
It's a good thing you didn't mention the Daycare's name, or maybe you should have!

Good Luck!
N.

I am the director of a child care and a professor at a university in the child, adolescent and family department of the school of education. Find another child care provider. You are right, look for someone who has education in child development, this is not the only area that she is probably ignorant in. Better yet encourage her to go back to school, there are many incentives out there for child care providers to continue education including grants, stipends, etc.
I. C

Your daycare said the cleanup is messy???? YIKES! I remember my daycare always asking me to simply bring a change of clothes in case of an accident.
Well I have 4 kids, 11, 8, 2 and 1. I just potty trained the 2 year old(almost 3 in June). She did great. I did it over the weekend. I remember I had no diapers on a Friday after work...so I was on my way to Target and I said no this is my weekend to try so I drove home instead. I put Dora undies on her and sat her on the toilet every hour. I woke her up in the middle of the night and she went in the toilet. Saturday morning she went again in the toilet and then in the afternoon I got to her to late as she was trying to tell me so she had one accident (my fault). Sunday was fine, did the same thing, asked her every hour, she did have another accident because she was playing and we bothered not to ask her if she had to go but other than that she is doing great! I just give her a big hug, a HIGH FIVE every time she goes in the toilet. It has been almost a month now. I think what made it easier too was that, the lady that watches the 2 small ones, has her 3 year old grand daughter so she seen this little girl go to the toilet and maybe my daughter just wanted to copy her...(only my older 2 went to daycare when they were small). I would keep trying and explain to your daycare that you would appreciate if they can help you while he is in their care, so if he can please wear the underwear or else how is he going to learn.

I cant believe that your day care is not supporting you. my day care provider pretty much is the one who trained my christopher who is two. you cant expect the little lovee to not go in his pants if he is wearing pull ups. they get confused. i still put pull ups on christopher at night and sometimes he pees thinking its ok. your daycare is totally sabotaging the whole thing. shame on them. it totally seems as if they are taking the easy way out.
good luck and stand your ground

Hello A., I'm S.. I have 3 boys of my own (9, 3, & 1) and I run my own daycare (8 years now) after working as a daycare assistant and nanny for 10 years before that. I want to tell you first off you are 100% right about not switching the child back and forth from underwear to pull-ups once they know what they are doing. It confuses them when they are learning something new. My 2 oldest boys got underwear for their 3rd birthdays, yes they had accidents, it’s a process. The problem with going back and forth is, as soon as they have one accident they get the pull-up on, it encourages them to keep having accidents so they don’t have to worry again once the pull up is on. My middle child (the 3 year old) is in underwear and has been potty trained for months, but still wears pull ups at night as we are still trying to master the wake up and go potty thing, but he takes it off as soon as he wakes up. And for as long as he is awake at night (which is sometimes hours a whole nother story) he will go pee in the potty even while wearing a pull up. So be consistent and patient he will get there.

Now the bigger problem. Your daycare. Easier said them done, but I would find a new one. Or at least look into this one deeper. I am sure they are nice enough, but...not are they only taking the "easy way out" as you put it, but think to yourself "why is my son reverting back to pooping in his pants there when he does so well at home?" Also ask why would they encourage a child to go in their pants? It belongs in the potty. I tell that to them before they are 6 months old every time I change their diapers. They see us go in the potty, why wouldn’t they? It is pure laziness on the daycare's part. How are you supposed to have any consistency when they do something completely different then you? How is your child supposed to learn when he thinks all the adults are right and he is supposed to listen to them? Mixed messages aren’t even good for adults! Lol
And remember YOU are the parent, not them. Advice yes, if it is helpful. What they are suggesting is not. And to me it seems as if they are trying to tell you what should be happening with your son. They are there to help you take care of your child, not tell you how to do it. Please remember I am a daycare provider. I LOVE daycares. And fully understand the need. But laziness is no place for a daycare. And I can bet money that this is not the only area where they are lazy. I am not saying they are bad people or even a bad daycare, but when it comes to taking care of children I believe that an average daycare that is just OK is not OK. These are peoples CHILDREN. Your son deservers to go to a daycare that will tend to ALL of his needs. And right now that means potty training. If they don’t like potty training a child it is their right to require all children be potty trained before entering their daycare. But they do not have the right to just pretend it isn’t needed.
I apologize for ranting but I really wanted to help and I am so tired of good daycares getting bad raps because of carelessness like this. Trust me there are good ones. If you do want to look into new daycares call 925-676-KIDS. The Contra Costa Children's Care Council. Over 40,000 daycares are registered with them. Give them your criteria and they will try to match you with the best one. Good luck and if you would, could you let me know how it turns out?

It;s all or nothing. You are right that it is confusing. When we potty trained our youngest he was very hard. Right after he was trained my father died and we had to drive 28 hours in the car one way and I just knew we would have to start over. I put him in pull-ups and showed him at that time the carrots. Everytime we stopped he still had the carrots! We hugged him an told how proud we were of him! Meet the daycare halfway by telling them to reward him for having his "Carrots". This will make both of you happy and he is not confused! He sounds like he is very smart!

I am a pre-school teacher and have done lots of potty-training. It often happens that children who are potty-trained at home, still have accidents at school. There is so much more going on at school, activities, playing with friends etc. Sometimes the child does not want to stop what they're doing to go to the bathroom. I understand that the pre-school does not want too many accidents. It's not sanitary for the other children to have pee and poo on the chairs, carpet etc. However, accidents do happen.

What has helped in my class is to be pro-active. Take the child to the potty before they "Have" to go. That may be every hour or every 20 minutes. I take a few kids at a time and make it fun so the child doesn't feel they are missing out. Also, always be positive and reward the behavor you want to see. Know that every child learns to use the potty and this "in between" time is a short one.

As a mom to 3 and a Childcare provider, I can tell you that boys take longer then girls. Don't rush him, it will come when he is ready. Also, it is not "taking the easy way out" for the childcare provider. Poop in underwear is very messy, and has the potential of getting on carpet, furniture and toys. I would have to close for a day to sanitze everything if that happened here. Then what would parents do? Just follow his lead, kids need to feel some type of control over their own bodies.
S.

I believe that you are correct in feeling that the daycare is just trying to take the "easy" way out. If a child doesn't realize the consequences (their pee running down their leg) of not using the toilet, the learning curve is delayed. When my son was potty-training, I tried the pull ups too. I realized quickly that the child knows that it was just another form of diaper. (We don't give our children enough credit in figuring these things out!) After my son had a couple of accidents in the "big boy" underwear, and knew that the same icky feeling would happen again, he never has had an accident since. Follow your gut-feeling on this and put him only in the big boy pants at day-care. I doubt that he'll have more than one or two problems there.
Request that the day-care provider ask him if he has a need to go to the bathroom, especially after snacks and such. As for the day-care not wanting to clean the floors, it happens and their required to wash down the floors daily anyway. A childs blatter is small so there wouldn't be a big mess and most the time the child runs into that sort of problem outside in the play area because they're active.

I would wait. I believe potty training should happen when the child is ready, and it sounds like your son is too young, which is normal. Many three year olds aren't ready for potty-training, especially boys. With my own son, we didn't train him until four. You might think that's late, but it was so easy simply because we waited until he was ready. It took hardly any time for him to get the hang of it, and there were no daytime accidents. If your daycare provider is willing to deal with pullups, let her. Postpone the stress, pressure, guilt over accidents and all the other emotional baggage for a while and give both you and your son a break.

Unless the daycare provider stated up-front that they're willing to potty train, I wouldn't expect anything more than what they're indicating, which is that they don't want to clean up poopy underwear. That's totally understandable.

I'd put him in pull-ups for day care, but at home, do either just underwear, or when it gets a bit warmer, try having him go without pants for a few days, and make sure that the toilet or potty chair is easily accessible.

I was a daycare provider for 10 years and it sounds to me like your provider isnt doing her job well. I would welcome the parents who started the potty training and incuarge it. It only confuses the child when the parents are doing one thing and the daycare is doing anther, the provider should be on the same page as you. Keep up what your doing with the potty training. You may want to look for a new provider. I hope things work out for you.

Iam a childcare provider and I agree with you 100%, when my parents are ready for potty training, I tell them to bring lots of underpants and extra pants/socks, I don't do pull ups even at naps. I would rather do more laundry for a few days then drag the process out longer then necessary. It really should be done in 5-10 days, if everyone is working together, even the night.( there still may be the occasional accident, but not bad). Good luck. K.R.

It's hard for daycare providers because there are several other children to look after. If your son is potty-trained he should use the toilet for poop and pee regardless of whether he is wearing a pull-up or underwear. Kids who are potty-trained shouldn't have more than 1 accident per week.

It sounds like your son is potty-training (not potty-trained) so my best advice for you and the child care provider is to make an agreement together about when to switch completely to underwear. I wouldn't put underwear and pull-ups together because it is too messy and also confusing for the child. Underwear could maybe be reserved for when your child is actually potty-trained (or hasn't had any accidents in his pull-up for about a week night and day). Then you could make a big deal about it to him and say "Wow, you are such a big boy. You haven't gone potty in your pull-up for a whole week! Are you ready to wear big boy underwear?" Then explain to him that if he is ready that means he is big enough to go to the potty every single time he has a pee or a poop. Also, he should go on his own initiative rather than need to be reminded to go. He should be taking responsibility.

Have some grace for the daycare provider if you can. Kids can become stressed if they even sense a little bit of disappointment from an adult when they have an accident. If it is too stressful for your daycare provider to have to stop interacting with all of the other kids while she scrubs the carpet or scrapes poop off someone's undies every time there is a potty accident, maybe it is better for your son if he wears the pull-up instead of the underwear. She may not even be upset with him but if he thinks he is the reason he could regress. It's also very yucky to have to scrape poop off of underwear so I don't completely blame her for not wanting to do it. You only have to potty train one child but chances are she has to go through this process over and over and over throughout the years.

Your daycare provides a valuable service to you and your family. It's best to try to come up with something together that you can both live with. Your son will adjust so I wouldn't worry too much if you decide to reserve underwear for when he is completely toilet independent. Just let him know what's going on and don't make it sound like a punishment (because it isn't). Take your time and keep it positive. Growing up and learning to be big should be fun and exciting.

I wish you the best!

Hi A.,
It is so tough to potty train some and super easy for other children! My 7 year old was not having it. She refused to go on the potty. We started when she was about 2 1/2 and she just would not do it until she was 3 1/2 and this is what I did. I know it's hard for you and frustrating. My best advice to you is take a week off from your outside job. I know that is easier said then done but it is worth it in the long run. He doesn't need his nanny getting mad at him for soiling his undies. First, Set the timer for 40 minutes and every 40 minutes go to the restroom. You should have a chair or stool and sit in there with him, bring a book and just tell him it's no big deal, Mommy has all day and he can just take his time. Sit for a few minutes and then just go on about your business. Do this all day every day. Make a poster with his favorite characters on it,(Pictures or Stickers). Each time he goes to the potty and makes poo poo or pee pee (make a big deal! Celebrate with clapping) and then he gets to put a new picture that he draws or a new sticker on his poster. At the end of the week take him out and give him a treat. The zoo, the park, something to show him his hard work is appreciated and you are proud. This worked for my angel and I hope it works for yours. A.

Hi A.,
It seems to me that your day care provider is making life easy on herself. It is very confusing for a little guy when potty training to have pull ups, pull ups over his underwear and "big boy" underwear. He is getting a lot of mixed messages as to what he should be doing. Going to the bathroom in your pants is a very uncomfortable feeling and I bet that after a few times he will know it is best to use the toilet.

I also think that it is the responsibility of the day care provider to recognize the times of day he usually use has to go to the bathroom and be a little proactive about taking him to the toilet and suggesting he try. Another school of thought is to sit him on the potty every hours and let him try to go. This should prevent any accidents. Good luck I remember potty training my kids and it was challenging!
M.

boy oh boy do I have a few things to say. You are obviously a well educated mom! And it sounds like your son wants potty training dealt with. But from what you say about the daycare provider not wanting messes on the carpet - that is not the place for your young son right now. I can not stress this enough.
Your childcare provider is your partner in raising your child, and you must both be on the same exact page. Anybody serious about caring for young children know that messes will occur. That is how children learn.

I work in a homecare center and we have 5 kids potty training right now. Some have it down well, others not so well. I have yet to see an accident mess the floor - just the pants, and usually when an accident occurs it's because we didn't get the child to the toilet in a timely manner, or because the kid had to wait for the bathroom to be unoccupied. We have most of the kids in underwear except for nap time, and then the underwear is worn over the pullup.
You are right. Consistency, like with everything with kids, is the absolute key. Potty training is work, and it can be a little messy. So you spot clean the carpet. big whoop. I'd rather do some extra laundry and clean a couch cushion or carpet. The reward of a self-sufficient young person is so worth it. And this is how your child care provider should view this. Or she should only take toilet trained children.

I know it's maddening. I have a ten year old girl who potty trained herself practically overnight and yet it took several months to train the daycare. The teachers were lazy, and that's all there was to it. They didn't want to take my girl to the bathroom every hour, clean up accidents or be bothered with an early bird (she was the only kid potty trained at the time.) The director and I finally did away with the pullups and went to straight to underwear except for nap time - this forced the teachers to be vigilant about making sure my 2 year old was taken to the bathroom regularly, even when she said no.

First I have to say that wearing underwear and a pull up at the same time must be very confusing to a child.I am having trouble understading the logic behind that.If it's not good to go back and forth, it can't be good to use them at the same time. I can understand the daycare provider asking that the child be in pull ups. To have to deal with poopie underwear is not only unsanitary but also very time consuming. My advice would be to use pull ups at day care and undies at home.Remind the child often that if he keeps his undies clean that soon he can wear them all the time.Tell him his pull ups will then be sent to a younger child that has not yet mastered the toilet like he has. I have learned that the most important thing to have is patience. You don't see kids in high school wearing diapers. They all get it at some point.

Hi A. -

I am a mom of 4 and a daycare provider so I have opinions on both sides of the coin-lol!! I understand your provider not wanting the mess on her carpet and can certainly respect the clean up not being easy when you have all the other daycare kids to care for as well. But I think your right in that going back and forth may be prolonging the training for your son. My policy for potty training is that they can wear panties if they are in the training process so long as they wear the plastic pants (sold at wal mart or such stores) over them. That covers me sanitation wise and protects my carpet etc :) If the child has an accident I pull of the dirty plastic pants and panties and throw them in a plastic bag to go home w/the child at the end of the day which in my opinion is no more difficult than changing a diaper/pull up. I do not do any laundering of the soiled clothes, plastic pants etc only because with 6 kids and one of me time wise it just isn't possible so my parents do have to handle that part. I feel like this way I can assist my parents in the potty training process and the child gets consistent training as well. My parents have never seemed to mind that they get the dirty laundry :)!! Maybe try suggesting a similar solution and see if your provider will accept it. Hope this helps. Good Luck :)

A.

Hi A.,
I totally understand how difficult it is to potty train! Its even more hard when your child is in Child Care.. I look at your situation from both sides. I am a Child Care provider and a mommy too! ( three times over ) I can somewhat under stand your providers reasoning for keeping the pull up on with the underwear. It s not sanitary to have several children or even two learning to potty train and with that comes accidents. Clean up takes time and money... However, as a provider I work closely with my mommmies and daddies to make sure they are fully committed. If parents continue the training at home and on weekends then I feel its my job to do the same.. In the beginning I use the pull ups then as they get better I use the pull up and underwear and as they get really good it goes to underwear But nap time is a for sure pull up.. As a provider I also have to make sure they are introduced to the potty at least twice an hour... Maybe you can ask your provider how she does her potty training? Maybe your little rugrat needs more potty time ... Always express your concerns and let her know that she might have to be a little more aggressive towards the potty. And , and , and with the weather getting nice it should be easy for her to help your rugrat stay focused on the potty so maybe she can take the pullup off and use the underwear and maybe have the potty closer to the back door to her back yard... I hope it works out for you best of luck.. Miss D.

I think we get too hung up on potty training. There is no full proof way to get the job done. Don't worry about switching from underwear to diapers and back. I did it all summer with my daughter. From the day care providers perspective, cleaning poop out of underware is really not a fun job. You could have your son wear undies at home and a pull up at school. We call the pull ups "special big kid panties" instead of a diaper. We try to treat them like underware, in fact, we still wear them at night, "Just in case a little pee pee comes out." You could also give him a little motivation like a "poo box." We had a box filled with inexpensive trinkets and candy and whenever we did a poop in the toilet we got to choose a toy. We got poop down before pee, it really motivated my daughter. Don't worry too much, he'll get it down, you're doing a good job!

The day care IS wanting the easy way out and maybe they have too many kids to handle the little ones needs and you need to find another day care. You are paying them to help you be the best mom you can and that means that they need to support you and carry out your consistencies as best they can. This also sounds like an in home day care and they should more than ever be flexible with your child's needs, not the other way around!

It is confusing to your child going back and forth between pull-ups and underwear. In your case depending on your options here…guessing that there are not many, you should probably stick with pull-ups till they are dry most of the time and your daycare provider needs to help by asking him consistently and often to use the potty and reward him for poo poo in the potty. He knows what to do and where to do it, but there is still a learning curve to knowing how long it will take you to get there, how bad you have to go, how many times can you hold it, and then how mad is it going to make the person taking care of me when I miss or have an accident; should I tell or shouldn’t I. He may be getting into big trouble at daycare, or hearing the anger in the care takers voice as she is cursing you for putting him in underwear and becoming afraid to go and afraid to have accidents.

Have a couple of options or plans in mind and then have a heart-to-heart with your daycare provider to find something that will work for all parties.

I'm married & a mom of 3 children ( 3, 7 1/2, & 9yrs.old) and pets. I'm a self-employed stay home mom as well. I've potty trained our kids and now I'm potty training my new puppy. It wasn't easy, but I had all 3 kids potty trained by the time they were 2 1/2. All 3 of our kids were potty training at their own pace as best as they could. I switched from diapers to pull-ups, they stayed in pull-ups until they were almost fully potty trained (maybe around 0-2 accidents in a month). I would take them to the store and show them pretty panties/ underwear that they really wanted and told them if they want it they would have to tell me when they feel like they're going to go pee, before they go potty in their pants. Then when it got to a lot less accidents within several months, I would tell them it's time to get the panties/ underwear that they like. They really wanted to have those cute sparkly princess panties / for our boy the cool spiderman underwear or boxers. During the potty training time, I would take them to the bathroom every hour and tell them to try and if they can't it's ok. I've experienced daycares that do help out with potty training. I thought most Daycares will do diaper changing, messes,etc., and preschools are the ones that won't. It's hard to say much when I don't know enough about your location of daycares, but maybe you need to find a new daycare that is willing to work with you. If theres anything else you have a concern about, feel free to let me know, I'd be glad to help.
Good luck and take care :)

If he is reverting I would put him back in the pull ups. My oldest was trained at 2 yrs old and my youngest was almost 4 before he was fully trained. If he's not ready then he's not ready. With my youngest we got to the point where we were throwing away the pull ups because they were stretched out and one day he decided he wanted to wear underware and we never looked back but it was his idea.

As far as the day car not wanting to clean up the poopy messes in underwear I don't blame them. It is very messy and hard to clean up. (been there done that with #1). Plus they have other kids to deal with. Even though they are running a day care in their house they don't want their house destroyed by something that can be prevented. I also watch some kids so I understand where they are coming from.

One more note I just read some of the responses and the mom's were really getting on the day care. It is one thing if your son is having accidents. Yes the daycare provider should clean those up, let you know and move on, maybe take him potty more often. But if you son is just flat out refusing to go potty and then pooping in his pants then he should be in pull ups. He may be rebeling against any number of things or he may just be too busy, and that is definately something you should look at. It is important to remember he will be potty trained maybe not today or tomorrow but soon.

Hi,

You have a tough one here. If daycare isn't going to help with potty-training, you're not going to get there, so you need to talk to her. If it were anything other than daycare, I'd be saying switch, but obviously something so major in your life, that is important to your son, doesn't get switched so lightly.

You're going to have to talk to your daycare provider though, and find some happy medium, because you simply aren't going to get totally potty-trained on the weekends, and even if you can take him out for a week, and get potty-trained in a week, kids have accidents for some time after being potty trained, so you'd still face the same problem when he went back to school.

Once your son is fully potty-trained, things will be easier for your daycare provider, because she won't have to change diapers, so helping you is in her best interests. You can try to point this out in conversations, and also point out that if she doesn't help you, it will be a lot longer.

If your son was doing well at home, he may pick up quickly at daycare. You don't say if it was one or two days at daycare, or a longer period of time. But if it's only been a few days, I'd ask her for a little patience. Kids need to adjust to changes, and different levels of distraction, so it's natural that Monday would be different, but once he gets back into the routine of daycare, he may do better. She can remind him often to go potty, set timers to help her remind him, etc.

Personally, I even think that pull-ups over underpants would be confusing for your son. I'd be more likely to try purchasing training pants, which have extra thick cotton, and plastic pants, because he needs the feedback of feeling wet. There's also a product out there called pods, or something similar, that is an absorbent insert to put into underpants that feels wet, but limits the messiness of the accident.

My daughter potty-trained really quickly and easily, and she still had some accidents at daycare, including one or two poop accidents, (and we never had poop accidents at home after the first two days) for a little while. It's just natural until they get it down... so your daycare person is going to have to accept this eventually. Our daycare situation expected to and actively helped with potty training, although the "clean-up" only applied to the kids and the area... which is to say that they cleaned up the kids and put clean clothes on them, and obviously the floor, however the messy clothes were just tossed in a plastic bag and sent home. It was unpleasant at the end of the day, but if you are willing to accept this, it may make things easier for your daycare person, depending on how much she is expecting to have to clean up.

Best of luck!

A.,
Mom of Angelina 3 and 1/2 and Marley 5 months

Perhaps he's rebelling against daycare. Also, you mentioned having a home business. When do you have time for this little boy? Infants and young children feel best when they're with their parents, especially one primary caregiver. When their world is dismantled by being hurried off to daycare, they often perceive that as abandonment, and I suspect he's dealing more with emotional than physical issues. Perhaps it would help to take a vacation from something else and giving more time to your son until he's feeling more secure.

Dear A., Your daycare provider sounds like she is underminig you on your otherwise successful potty training. At a daycare facility it should be routine for all the kids to line up at certain times of the day to go potty, frequently. Children learn especially well when other children are involved. You should continue, I feel, to put your son in little pants at home and take him tothe potty frequently, or at least suggest it. Get him into a good pattern. Then, you make the great effort of trying to explain to your day care provider that this is how it should be. Asking if anyone needs to potty, again frequently, and then taking the kids all at one time in a line to use the potty. It frustrates me as a mother to hear that your life is being frustrated by a lazy daycare provider. Yoy keep up the good work, you sound like you're doing everything right Praise his successes, like I'm sure you are doing and explain to him that he must go potty at the daycare center. Talk with your provider and seek her assistance. If she cares, she should be willing to work with you. Your little boys souns perfectly normal and healthy, he just gets confused. So keep on doing what you're doing and ask for cooperation. You deserve to be able to set some standards on your own. Your little boy deserves it. Keep on those pants! and hooray for your little one.

Hang in there, Glory be to God for all things, he will help you through this too. Fondly C. f

your daycare is wanting the easy way out. do they have other small children? do you pay for your child as potty trained or still in diapers? if you are paying for a child in diapers still then they need to understand. yes, going back and forth makes it confusing. he's use to using the pull up as a bathroom there. they must not be trying to enforce regular trips to the bathroom. my daycare potty trained my daughter in a week. she'd come home and use pull ups... we finally stopped buying them and she had no choice. but my daycare was wonderful about it. she had several kids all the same age. they went potty before nap, again when they woke up.. she had a whole break down on times just for that...

Hi A....We also struggled with getting our 3-year-old pottytrained before he started pre-school last fall. He was pretty good at peeing, but was inconsistent with the pooping. He had a couple accidents when he first started pre-school, but they were really great about it. They have extra undies and pants so that if a kid has an accident, they change them into clean clothes and send the dirty ones home. We put him back in pull-ups for awhile in case he did have an accident, and that did seem to confuse him. When he wanted to put him in underwear, then he would have a fit, although he love them at first. My little guy will be 4 in a couple months, and it was just a month or so ago that we took the pull-ups away completely, even at night.

What we found worked best with the whole long potty training process was just being patient. My advice would be not to go back and forth between undies and pull ups. Stick with the undies, and explain to your daycare provider that beause he is potty-training, accidents may happen. I really can't believe that they're being so difficult about an issue that I'm sure many other parents struggle with. Remember, YOU are paying THEM to care for your son, and if that includes having to clean him up and change his clothes on occassion, so be it. It's no worse than changing a diaper. You may also suggest to the daycare that they take him to the potty every 30 minutes to prevent accidents. He is probably so caught up in playing that he doens't want to stop to use the potty. That is something they should be able to assist him with because it sounds like he's maybe not yet at the point where he'll always go on his own.

Don't let the daycare bully you from doing what you think is best for your sweet little boy! And be patient...before you know it he'll be doing it all on his own. Best of luck....
A.

Dear A.,

I really think that when it comes to potty training, we have to follow the child's lead when we can. It sounds like that is what you are doing. But maybe your son just cannot get it done at the daycare. There are possibly many distractions there. Think of it like the difference between day and night control. At the daycare he just may not have the control he does at home. In my opinion if you like the provider for the most part do pull-ups there. Personally, I would get a new provider. If someone accepts potty training kids they should potty train!!! Not doing it is like saying I will take an infant but I do not do bottles because it is too much work.

Hope this helps,
P.

I really don't have any advice except we are/were in the same boat. I ended up changing my son's preschool. He's a little older than you but he doesn't have accidents at home, only at school. When I asked his teachers about when the accidents are happening they were only when the teacher was busy and couldn't take him to the bathroom.

Yes, he is old enough to do it on his own, but he doesn't have it down quite yet and needs help. I had to find a daycare/preschool that would help him.

I think that you are absolutely right. Putting him in pullups after the weekend in underwear is confusing to him, and your daycare provider should be more supportive. Consistency is key with potty training, as we have learned with our own son. If you can't switch childcare providers or talk sense into the one you currently have, I would try to take a week off of work (if you can), keep your son in underwear exclusively, and give him the time and space to really get the hang of it. Then just pack a change of clothes for him when he goes to school, just in case, and make sure your daycare provider understands that you need her to support your efforts—and those of your son! His needs are the most important here, not her convenience.

We just started potty training my 2yr old daughter last Tues. We are using underwear with the plastic potty training pants on top. She had both pee and poop when we first started and they held everything in just fine. I purchased the ones I got at Target. Good Luck.