Newly Pregnant, Mixed Emotions

you're both in shock, just give it some time.... i'm sure he didn't mean to be negative, i'm sure in time you will both grow to love that baby, it's just gonna take some time. and don't feel guilty - BOTH of you made this baby. we, too, found our we were pregnant with our 3rd, after several miscarriages and procedures with a RE, about 2 weeks after we decided we were done trying, we were content with our 2 little boys - and we were gonna be grateful we had them, and carry on with life. i had almost convinced myself of how great it would be to not be pregnant again, or have a newborn again, etc. - when i found out. dh was thrilled right away(he was actually out of town when i told him), i was too scared of another miscarriage to be excited. but, she is now 2.5 years old, i FINALLY have my little girl. all this to say - just give it some time, and hang in there :) congrats!

I completely understand. Give it a few days to settle in... This has happened to more than one of my friends. Once you know it's going to stick, you will both be elated. No guilt, please! It's not like you stopped taking your BC and didn't tell him. These things just happen and maybe it's God's way of giving him a 40th birthday present. :-P

It will all be ok... The person you really need to be talking to is him. Tell him how you are feeling and let him talk to you without jumping to conclusions about how he is feeling. Congratulations!

I felt the same way when I found out I was pregnant 5 months ago! We had both decided we only wanted our one. It was a super shocker! After days of crying and not really speaking to each other(we were in shock & just trying to let it sink in) my husband came around. It took me a few weeks. But we are so excited now and can not wait! Good luck! Just give it some time!

I think he is in shock. He will come around. It is something that you wanted and now it has happened. God does not give us any more than we can handle. Everything happens for a reason. Be happy and god bless you.

Give it a few days (or weeks) and you might feel totally different. Your reaction is common and yes, due in part to hormones.
I can remember when I found out I was pregnant with our third, now a delightful 18 month old. We were using contraception faithfully and had just decided 7-10 day before that we would not be trying for another baby due to our age (I was 35 and my husband weeks from 40). So we were shocked. I cried several times a day for over a week. I was violently ill for 2 months and trying to care for our 4 yr old and 12 month old. My husband had insomnia. THEN we just worked through it. Today we wouldn't have changed a thing. Our little guy just adds so much to our family that we couldn't be happier. God knew better than we did and blessed us accordingly.
Hang in there. Even "wanted" pregnancies can evoke feelings of "how, can I get out of this" and "what was I thinking?". Congrats and you have my prayers this morning. Remember, God really is the one that makes babies. We just think we do. Nurse-midwife Mom

If you and your husband were trying and then decided to stop, it means not that long ago he was on board with you creating this third miracle! Girl you need to enjoy this. Celebrate it. And if your husband is sour for a while let him be, because most dad's turn to mush when they hold that new baby. Tell your two daughters, pull out photo albums, and look at their baby pictures. Family, in my opinion, is the most precious thing. Every pregnancy is different and your hormones may have you all messed up for the time being, but it will pass. PLEASE DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!!!

Awww... Sorry it's a damper. I think you are both just dealing with the pain of trying so long and having to come to terms with being done. It's a shock. But there's no way this baby isn't a HUGE blessing!!! Let yourself be happy and don't feel guilty. You have no reason to at all!

M.,

I am sending prayers your way. I wish you the best with your pregnancy and I hope that things settle down for you quickly. Just remember, to take time for yourself and see how you feel about things first before having to explain to others. Maybe take a warm bath and try to relax. Congrats!

M

It's okay to feel what you're feeling, M.. Don't beat yourself up for it. Your husband is feeling it too. The best thing you can do is get those pregnancy vitamins TODAY (you need that folic acid big-time) and just keep on with your life. You and hubby will get used to the idea soon enough, and then one day you'll wake up feeling good about it.

Hugs to you,
Dawn

you will have my prayers!!!!!!!! it is totally understandable to have these kind of mixed feelings/emotions, dont stress. and if you do have twins, they are soooooooooooo much fun!!!! i have a 2 year old son and 7 month old TWIN sons!!!!! congratulations, and God Bless!!

First of all, congratulations on the new life you are creating. Like the others said, give it some time for it all to sink in. Once it does, things will turn around and you both will get excited. I found out in December of 2008 (Christmas eve in fact) that I was pregnant. We were not trying at all. I was on the pill but lo and behold here I was. At the time I was 37 and my husband was 50. We were completely done or so we thought. Let's just say it was an extremely quiet Christmas that year because we were both in shock. My husband is a talker so for him to be quiet was something! After some time, we both came around and began to look forward to it. We now have a beautiful 22 month old little boy (my first boy - I have two girls). I wouldn't trade him for the world. Some things are just meant to be. God has other plans for us. So my advice to you give it some time and you both will soon embrace this new creation. Congrations again!

The reason you are reacting the way you both are is because you had already decided to deal with the "foursome" that you are and had made peace with that. Now that peace has been disrupted and not at the time you were ready and willing for it to be......THAT'S NORMAL!

Give yourselves some time to sort through the change that is happening and everything will work itself out. Blessings to you and yours!