New Stay at Home Mom

HI K.,

A few suggestions for you would be to check into your local library for storytime/drop in crafts. Also Barns & Noble & Borders do storytimes. You can check in your area for a moms club, I am part of a great one in Mchenry County and we have at least one activity(usually 2-4) a week for kids & moms only. You can also check into meetup.com and see if they have a group in your area. Once it gets warmer, you can always do zoos, parks, picnics and the like. We joined the kids museum in Rockford & with that we get into most kid & science museums in the area for free (some you pay 1/2 price). Don't get sucked into tv, some days it is nice but then I look at the clock and say where did the time go????? Hope all works well for you

C.

1 mom found this helpful

I am a new SAHM too. Honestly, I am in month 8 and having a hard time with it. I used to be a Reporting Manager. Ideas... join a Moms Club nearby, check out your park district, check out Meetups.com, take up a hobby, dabble in side-gigs (I do Tastefully Simple and Pampered Chef)...

Moms Club - Mom's International, Paces, MOPS to name a few.

Good luck and congrats!
nicole

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not sure where you live, but i came across this website once when wondering what to do or what is available to do with my son: http://www.gocitykids.com/?area=196 (that's the link to the chicago area gocitykids website. if it doesn't work, try www.gocitykids.com and plug in chicago). good luck!

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I decided to stay home when my daughter was born last year. I was so worried about what might happen that i forgot to stop and enjoy the luxury of being there with my kids. The best thing i ever did was to create a schedule for us to follow and stick to it. Getting out to run errands and go places every day is key. When i was working i was so involved at work that i thought i would never make it staying at home, but i can honestly say it is the best decision i ever made for myself and my family. Its just a few precious years that you can never get back, so enjoy them!

Hi,

I have been a stay-at-home mom for four years now. It is good for the family because is important for the kids to have their mom around. But eventually you miss the interaction with other people at work.

I have been looking for a part-time job for a while. But employers don't seem to like SAHM.
:-(

If you have the choice and you want to, think about working two or three days a week instead.

Good luck with your decision and your family. :-)

There is a national "Mom's Club" in just about every town in america... do a google and think about joining. Its a great way to meet other SAHM's. Our group has several things on the calendar to pick and choose from. Mostly it's play dates and things like mall walking... here is the link to the national site:

http://www.momsclub.org/

Hi,

I never had the opportunity with my 3 girls to stay home and I still do work a full time job downtown Chicago. But with my children being older I took on a home based business. I only do it Friday evenings and Saturday and Sunday. Check out my site. www.noahsarkworkshop.com/jodigilbert18

I am having alot of fun and making money. All my girls help with the parties and they are paid to do so. I to have a 16 yr and she loves making money and helping me out. Something that you could think of is a home base business.

J.
www.noahsarkworkshop.com/jodigilbert18

Hi K.,
its a brave move to quit ur job and be a stay at home mom.. i was a sahm for 7 1/2 years then went to work for 5 1/2, then went back to work for a year, and now im back as a sahm once again... my 2 oldest are in school all day, and i get up a half hour before they do so i can get some cleaning done, get them off to school, and by that time my youngest is up.. at first i didnt know what to do with myself and i became the "clean mom freak"... and i realized that wasnt the way to spend my day.. i manage to keep my days busy, with little stupid things throughout the week.. when warmer weather comes u will be amazed on how much more there is to do.. it will be strange at first but u will get into ur own grove and be happy that u decided to stay at home.. just like everything else it takes time to get use to it and it will be fine...

hi, K.!
i'm H.! congratulations on your promotion to SAHM!!! its the toughest job there is but also the most rewarding!
i run a women's meetup group, we schedule play dates once a month, but mostly we have a lot of MOM ONLY activites, so we can get out together and interact with other adults! share advice, tell stories, etc,,,!
feel free to join! our online message board is http://women.meetup.com/242/?gj=sj3 and you can see our calendar!
we also help each other out and try to get the group discounts with services and such!

also, if you need a break once in a while i have a friend that runs a temp nanny service, if you need someone to sit with the kids so you can run errands, etc!!! just let me know!

Hmm, part of it is attitude, please don't say you are "giving up" part of yourself! You are GIVING yourself to your children. It is a gift they will appreciate always and you will be happy you did later. Being a stay at home is one of the hardest jobs there is (I have worked and stayed home) because you never LEAVE your job! You don't have to give up part of yourself, discover new parts of yourself. Spend more time with your 16 year old, she won't like it sometimes but she will remember it when she is older, trust me. Take the little ones to school and to a class of some sort and take that hour or two to read a book, knit, cruise the internet, whatever you haven't had time for before when you worked. Connect with other moms here that live near you, I know I have, and get together for playdates and talk with another adult. Just because you stay home doesn't mean that it can't be rewarding or interesting, that is up to you. =) Love on your kids alot and realize how LUCKY they are to have you home!

Hi K.,

I too am a SAHM. I have 2 girls, ages 2 & 3. I too go to storytime, they do have free movies at most theatres on Wed. at 10:00 am. They are geared for kids, so don't feel you have to keep your child sitting perfect and quiet. Plus, its a nice out for them too. I also have a playdate once a week with a neighbor and babysit for 5 year old twins twice a week.
I too worked and had a very hard time not working. I am a worker, and like to keep my adult life too. I work from home as a Jafra Consultant, it keeps me sane, (and looking and feeling great too!). I go to meetings, have conference calls, and the beauty is I can deliver all my orders with my kids in tow. I also make 50% commision, so I feel great helping with the bills and spending $$ on me whenever I feel like it.
Don't forget to make time for you so you can recharge. I never knew how hard being a SAHM was until now.

Best of luck to you!

;-) H. J.

I also left my job less than a year ago. At first, I was heavily preoccupied about my career and next steps, including when I would go back to work and then whether I would....
At the end of the summer, I decided to take a year off from working (and all the networking, etc.) and focus 100% on the girls.

I have 2 year old fraternal twin daughters. In January, they started at an early childhood education program (a pre-preschool that is play-based and offers them new enriching experiences and opportunities to learn each day). They're in 3 days a week (full days) and they really love it or we wouldn't be doing this. On these days, I read, read, read--books about Parenting and also about making the transition and/or planning to head back to work sooner or later (some book titles that might also interest you-- Comeback Moms; Going Back to Work: A Survival Guide for Comeback Moms, etc.).

The books on going back to work after being a SAHM are helping me "fast-forward" through what it would be like to not work for a few years and helping me to make decisions in shaping my life today. I am still exploring options, but will likely become a consultant (I'm a CPA) later this year, working part-time (3 days) and for a handful of clients each year to stay connected & current and select some good projects to further my career as well as avoid a work gap, per se. I'm trying to keep my options open and protect my marketability as much as possible while I take this time for my family and my well-being.

I'm also taking on-line classes at the local community college including "Starting your Own Consulting Practice" and "Starting your Own Home-Based Business" as FYI. (There are so many other classes for just about any interst). I also try to work out on these days by taking a one-hour fitness class through the park district.

With the girls, we go to the library (story hour & get a new batch of books) and have scheduled neighborhood playdates once a week. We also go to My Gym twice a week (really great/highly recommend, esp. the one in River Forest, IL).

We play at home in the afternoons (reading, playdough, coloring, dolls, animal toys; they love 24 piece PUZZLES!) On warmer days & in the summer, we go to different parks around town and practically live at the zoo (go once a week with the family pass; they have a great sprinkler area for younger kids to play in water plus the Carousel, Animals, etc.) Especially for older kids, the museums are great, but also doing things together that you might enjoy--e.g. cooking together or a cooking class together (even the "Dinner by Design" type options), going to a new restaurant for lunch or dinner, checking out topics of interest at the library or book store, going for a walk and browsing in your downtown area, going to a movie, etc.

Having a routine is key so you're not always thinking about what to do each day. Plus the kids look forward to the same activities each week plus trips to visit relatives, go to the store and/or a restaurant, etc.

I won't turn on the TV at all during the day if I can help it. I personally won't watch TV because I'm afraid of starting a potentially bad habit--I'm not currently all that interested in daytime TV anyway. I can always "DVR/TIVO" something important to watch after the girls are in bed. Occasionally, the girls want to watch a half hour show and that's ok, but we limit it to one or two shows a day (one hour or less). Because we operate without TV most days, they don't even miss it most of the time.

We don't live very extravagantly, but we do have help with House Cleaning once a week--so other than laundry, loading the dishwasher and tidying up each night, I don't spend any time on it! My husband actually strongly recommended that we do this and just plan for this expense so that I and/or we have time to focus on the girls instead, furthering my and/or our interests or just getting a break. I have a very nice & caring husband.

Good luck with your transition. I hope the book titles I mentioned are of interest and helpful to you. There are many others! I'm just scratching the surface. And, I'm pleasantly surprised how much I LOVE reading and learning new things again--e.g. not necessarily business-related, but personal life, parenting and "other" related.

Thanks, G.

I am not lucky enough right now to be a SAHM, but I am a member of a mom's group - again, not sure where you live, but thought I'd advertise as it's been great:

carymomsgroup.com

First, I highly doubt you will have time to watch TV and clean all day. I am now a working mom but stayed home with my kids for almost 10 yrs. Following are some of the activities I had my children involved with:

1) story time at the library twice a week.
2) karate twice a week.
3) ballet once a week.
4) since I had joined a group specifically for moms (in the past called F.E.M.A.L.E.) there were playgroups, outings, and charity/volunteer events, which would fill up the rest of my week.
5) most important, quality time with me.
...above may not seem like much but believe me, it gets hectic.

Because I stayed home for the kids I made sure that I stayed focus on just that....the kids. It's hard, at first, to ignore the stains on the stove. Just keep telling yourself you're home for the kids, not the home. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying live in a pig pen.

A plus for you is that you become more involved with their school. If you join a mom's group, which I recommend, you'd be surprised how much of your time that will take - also a chance to excercise your brain cells.

Trust me, you won't get bored :-)

K.,
I am a stay at home Mom and believe me, it was easier when I was teaching high school! I enrolled my daughter in a French class twice a week. It got me out of the house and around other people. Staying at home is not easy, but it is important. Use this time to be with your baby. Parks, bookstores and the museums are perfect places to go for a couple of hours. Even a trip for coffee can be enough. Good Luck Mom! I will be waiting to see what other Moms have to say on this topic.

K.,
I, too, resigned from my career to be home with my daughter (she is 2). I suspect that you will experience some transitioning as you begin to settle into a routine. Doing both (career and SAHM) I can tell you that being a SAHM is harder than any challenge I ever had at work! I try to get out and run a few errands each day; I try to make a simple trip to Target somewhat of an outing for my 2 year old. Especially with the weather being so bad, we are both going stir crazy!!! I have found some great programs at the library that run a few times each month so that we both have some time to unwind (her with other kids, and me with some adults). At times I felt isolated but then I would go to the mall, let my child play in the play area, and make conversations with other moms. On those "never ending" challenging days, it helps to know that other moms go through the same things.
On the other hand, there are days I go to bed and just marvel at how LUCKY I am to be home with my daughter. The best bonding always comes at those impromptu times- like when she says something funny over lunch, or when I just put the "chores" to the side and take a nap with her in the middle of the day. Take it from me, the former self-described "career girl"- there is no amount of money or prestigious position that can ever come close to "MOM"
Good luck! and Enjoy! Know that you are very lucky to have this time with your kids.

The park district saves us we go to a class everyweek....my daughter burns off steam and we have made some friends and go to playdates every once in a while. When it is nice out, don't under estimate the power of a walk.

I am a SAHM of a 3 yr old daughter and 8 mos old twin boys. When I had my daughter I still worked full time, but wanted more outside contact with other moms. So, I joined a group called Mothers and More. It is not just for moms. They have plenty activities for you and your children as well. They have playgroups, mom and tot outings and family days. They also have activities for just mommies as well. Sometimes is just nice to get away from everything after a long day and just sit and chat with other moms.

I am not sure where you live, but I do know they have chapters in Joliet (which is the one I belong to) Oswego, and Dupage county. A little about me: Happily married SAHM of a 3 yr old girl, and 8 mos old twin boys.

I'm not a SAHM, but we enjoy Chicago Children's Museum, Museum of Science and Industry, Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum and Lincoln Park Zoo. You can get a combo membership to CCM, MSI and the Nature Museum. Also, just taking short walks or going to the park are good ways to have some fun and meet other moms. Good Luck! I'm jealous, I wish it were me!!

try finger painting and reading or even go to the park and during the winter try getting a membership at the y and taking the kids there to swim or make friends and get exercise

Think of staying home as your job. You will need to set up a new schedule for your kids and yourself. Get up and get dressed, do your hair. Plan things for you and the kids to do. Also, you will discover that because your house is getting lived in more, you WILL need to clean it. I've worked outside the home and have stayed home. Staying home is harder. Mostly because it is up to you as to how things will turn out. If you want to talk, e-mail me, I have tons of ideas.

go to your library and see what programs they have. Also your park district.

Get involved with a mom's group ASAP. I had the same problem when I had my first. I wish I joined a group sooner. In our group, we have all kinds of outings and playdates, etc. It keeps your kids busy and you get the benefit of conversations with other moms. However, don't feel bad if you do end up missing work. I did after my second child and I ended up getting involved with a direct sales/in home party company and that has also helped me tremendously. But I would start by finding your local mom's group and sign up!

Hope this helps!

Being a SAHM is tough but so worth it. I've been one for four years now and many more to go! Then someday I plan on going back to work part-time at first. It's rough at first but it's what you make of it. I have two degrees and wonder why I don't work on stressful days!! LOL Then I see my children's precious faces and I know why. I am the one to give them the best care and guidance ever! It truely is my toughest job because you don't get breaks and can't "punch out" at the end of the day. Search yahoo for any local groups for play dates in your area. There's one here in Kenosha but I am not sure how far in Illinois you are. Just keep busy and once the weather gets nicer you won't have a problem then! Parks and museums and so much to do that doesn't cost much. Good luck and truely enjoy and embrace everyday with them! You are one of the few lucky one's that gets to do it!!