Leaving Work to Be a SAHM Any Advice??

M.,

It will be the best decision you have ever made!! I left corporate America five years ago when my daughter (ironically, Madison) was born and have never once regretted it.

Yes, money is tight at first, but you will get used to living off of one income (that will increase every year with raises and bonuses). Just "trim the fat" from where you spend needlessly. Yes, you may feel isolated. You'll develop your sense of need when it comes to adult interaction, and find what works for you when you need adult conversation. If you're watching too much TV, it will be cartoons with your children.

What do you want your children to remember about their childhood, how clean the house was and how everything was rushed so mommy and daddy can get to work....or all of the fun things you will HAVE TIME now to do with them?

You cannot get back their childhood, so enjoy every single second that you spend seeing every "first" that they have.

My friendly and loving advice from one mom to the next...

It's easy to get caught up in this mommy group and that play group. Sometimes as moms we try to engage our children in too much, in turn stressing ourselves and our children to our limits. Plus, this could in all honesty financially cause you more worry...doing things equals spending money, even if the group is free (lunches, gas, etc.). It's a little something called peer pressure, and it exists even in playdates and mommy groups.

I went the route of trying to babysit other people's children in my home, and very quickly regretted that choice. I felt like I was spending too much time on the home daycare running than raising and spending time with my own, so that ended, for those reasons plus others that I would be happy to share with you offline. Just know, watching a stranger's child in your home WILL limit your ability to do things with your own, like doctor's visits, spur of the moment zoo trips, grocery shopping, naps, being sick, etc.

Just give yourself time to be a stay at home mom, get adjusted to it, get a routine, see how you are financially, and then see how mommy groups, playdates, and babysitting could functionally fit into your new lifestyle. FIRST, focus on yourself, your children, and your husband. Let the housework slip a little.

You are going to love being a SAHM!!

Best wishes to ya!! :-)

1 mom found this helpful

I am a huge fan of MOPS you can see if you have a meeting near you at www.mops.org just type in your zip code and it'll show if any are near you.
I stopped working when I had my first child, I didn't find out about MOPS till he was nearly two and his brother was on the way. MOPS was a lifesaver to me in more ways than one!
Maybe you can make a realistic to-do list for each day, so you still feel like you are getting things accomplished, though trust me there will be MANY days when you feel like you didn't get anything done. Just take it in stride and remember the precious time that you've gotten to spend with your children.
I encourage a set time for you to just hang with some friends without your children. Get someone to watch the kids and go for a walk, get a coffee or ice cream with a girl friend or two. Even if it's just an hour or two a month. You will need that time to talk to friends with out tending to your children. You'll come back more refreshed and your kids will thank you for it.
Best wishes!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi there,

I am a veteran mom of 4, the oldest being 12. I was a working mommy until she was almost 5 and number 2 was almost 3. I was a dental asst. and used to seeing 30-50 different patients a day plus the people I worked for. My dh had recieved a promotion which anabled me to stay home, but it also included us moving 2 hours away to be near their home office. Sooooo I will admit it was a bit of a shock!! Even though it was something I had always wanted, I felt very isolated. But I did some networking and did find a few friends with kids. Now we have moved back(4 years ago) and we have made it common practice for me to stay home. I homeschool also and just love that too.

My suggestions for you would be to find some local mommy/play groups. Even if your babies are too young to "play" is would still be good for you all. Not sure where you are but there many "online" networking sites. Look for people that have kids with like aged kids so your kids will have something to look forward to. It seems simple but just find some SAH friends. You will be busy, and later wonder how you had time to work full time! HTH!
K.

I would definitely suggest staying on a schedule with your husband, and get ready everyday. A great website to follow is flylady.net fo house cleaning tips and explains how important it is to get up and get ready so that when you are out and about you feel good about yourself. I only mention this because when I was staying at home I felt like each day ran into the next, I never got ready and it was so easy to want lay around when in my PJ's. When you are up and dressed you are more motivated to get things done and enjoy the day.

I looked into a moms group at a local church or there is a momsclub.org that you could join and the kids can interact with other kids and you can talk to other moms. It did help - just be pre warned that in some cases moms are VERY competitive about their angels and not everyone meshes well with each other. The church groups tend to be a little less like that. Good luck and congrats!!

I also quit work shortly after having my second child. When I left my job, all the women were very understanding and supportive. It has definitely been has been a strain financially, but well worth it. You will be raising your own children-the most important job in the world. I made sure to have a routine in place to help your day run smoothly-kids like routine too! Also, look for a mom's group in your community. The library also offers good programs for free. I actually found a part time job on weekends when the baby was one year old. I went into being a SAHM by putting myself into a new mindset. I just take things day to day-or even hour to hour. I admit I do let my kids watch some tv so I can clean etc, but I am selective as to what they watch. I also try to get them involved in anything I am doing like dusting, clearing the table, putting away toys, cooking/baking. If I can I try to have some kind of fun activity for the day. Good luck to you and know that you are making the best choice for your family. You can always go back to work when they are in school full time.

There are a lot of activities with the metro parks and I think the malls have a "tot" time. There are a lot of misconceptions though about the financial strain. Unless all of one of the paychecks went strictly into savings, childcare was free both always took lunch and you only used one car to get to and from work... There are often times that you end up saving more money with one staying at home. Not to mention not feeling guiolty about leaving your child with someone else. Plus there is so much less stress and being able to focus with your children. The easiest way I get away from the TV and for my 4 almost 5 children is just by turning it off after a certain amount of time then we go outside, color, play....
Goodluck with staying at home, if you are able to you might want to take a break from working and gettting adjusted to the change befroe taking on watching children from your home.

Take your time settling into a routine. Have some fun times with them - and if you can get some help, have some fun time without them. I just came home full-time a couple of months ago, and we are settling nicely, but it was a MAJOR adjustment for me to go from working in an office with adults all day and having a "start" and "finish" time - to going home where I'm on duty 24 hours a day. I am NOT complaining - I'm so glad I'm home with my 2 girls - but it was an adjustment for me. My mother-in-law has been able to take the girls for a couple of hours a few days a week to help us all adjust to our new routine. That's allowed me to get a handle on managing our home and household duties, and allowed the girls time to adjust to mommy's bigger role in their lives. I don't regret coming home for one second - but I have needed some time alone on a regular basis to get my bearings. If you can find someone to watch your children even one or two mornings a week for the first month, I'd highly recommend it. =)

M.
I manage an in home business that not only is satisfying but is also good for my family. NOT A Sales job it is more like a mulit-level marketing business and if it scares you...look me up on my web site. www.livingwithsolutions.com I teach a lot of people how to keep their homes and earth free of toxins and healthy. Very interesting stuff. Definately worth a look. Now is a good time to start. Would love to talk more to you about it. Let me know
S.

My biggest piece of advice is to connect with other stay at home moms. It can take a while to get comfortable with your new situation and having a network of support is huge in making the transition easier. There is an national organization for mothers who make accomodations to their careers in order to care for their families: Mothers & More. Check out their website to see if you have a chapter in your area. www.mothersandmore.org. Most chapters are a nice mix of SAHM, working outside the home moms - either FT or PT and moms who perform paid work from home. It is an organiztion that focuses on "caring for the caregiver" and has a lot of activities for moms (chapter meetings, MNO, book club), kids (playgroups and outings, parties) and families. If there is not one in your area, there are probably other moms groups you can look into.

Oh, I hear you! I had the worst time when I left work to stay home with Piper. The best advice I can give you is to find as many other SAHMs as you can. I'm not sure where you live, but my communit has a parent center with open play sessions, a baby and me group, and a toy lending library. Getting out, even with the baby, kept me away from the TV and not totally disenfranchised!

Also, I found it helpful to still make time to get together with my old friends from work at least once a month for drinks or lunch.

I just noticed that you said you wanted to watch other children. I am doing that as well, one little boy who is 10 days younger than my daughter, and they keep me busier than I ever imagined :)

Good luck!

M.,

I think at first you will be so busy taking care of the kids, figuring out a routine, and trying to find a way to catch up on sleep that you won't have to worry about anything other than those things.

After working in the corporate world and then becoming a sahm, you might feel as if you are not "as worthy" as you were before. But believe me, being a sahm is worth it's weight in gold. You will save a lot of money on child care, not to mention the peace of mind you will have that YOU will be caring for them.

And raising and caring for our children IS a huge responsibility. WE are teaching the next generations presidents, doctors, lawyers, teachers etc. So if you start to feel as if you aren't "really working", remember that you have the hardest job in the world. Because you have now become teacher, nurse, accountant, homemaker, house cleaner,cook etc., and you will not get a pay check for it!

That was the hardest part for me. I love being at home, I am just getting ready to go back to work, hopefully for 30 hours a week. I still have an 8 year old, the others are 17 and 27. But I stayed at home with all 3 as long as I could. I even ran a home child care for 6 years. If you want info on that, I ran it very professionally and had an excellent group of families. But you might want to wait until yours are a little older. That way you can nap when they do, plus you get the benefits of staying home, you can do what you want, when you want with your kids.

I guess I have rambled on enough. If you feel like you have cabin fever, find a play group. I did and it works out nice. I go when I want, stay home when I want. You'll be surprised at the moms you meet. Mine has a police officer, a dancer, a florist, an editor, and myself, jack of all trades!

Good Luck, and Enjoy those babies!

R.

Enjoy! I left my professional career as a dietitian and was also an older mom when I had my son. My new career as SAHM was the best decision I ever made! LOVE IT! My son takes classes at the YMCA and Parks/Recreation so we both get interaction with others. Also, a zoo membership is wonderful! We have met lots of great people and have chosen some as friends beyond our sons activities. Congratulations on becoming a SAHM!! I am fortunate to be given this chance.

Hi M.,

Congrats! I recommend you become involve in a Moms group of some sort. It is an outlet for your brain and helps you develop relationships for both you and your children.

Also try to stay structured. I meet a friend at 6:30 am to go walking. We both HATE getting up that early but find it helps us regain our identity, exercise, and it makes it hard to sit in front of TV when you've been up and going.

Work you income like a business. The money reduction is hard-but you will be amazed at what you can live w/o!

good luck!
A.

My advice: Join a mother's club or group such as MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers) or Mom's Club. There are many branches throughout central Ohio. These groups will help you network with other SAH moms, the kids will meet and play with kids their own age (as they get older) thru playdates and they will provide you with a place to go outside of the home and give helpful advice. When I left the corporate world, I was leaving my friends so this was a much needed outlet for me. Moms need other moms.

Yes it is a bit isolating but who better to raise your kids than you?! I have been a stay at home Mom for 11 years now and have not let my day revolve around the television!! Throw it out the window if that is what you are afraid of. Be creative, have fun. You only get one chance to see them grow up.

I've been a SAHM since my oldest was born almost 6 years ago. I never understood that whole 'watching TV all day' stereotype. Or SAHMS who "can't" take a shower until dinnertime. I've always been up and showered by a decent time. And I'm rarely home. The "home" part of being a SAHM is VERY misleading! The only time I"m home these days (with 3 young children) is in the afternoon for the baby's nap and the preschooler's 'quiet time'. Even when it was just my soon-to-be-first-grader, I was rarely home.

When the weather is nice, we're at parks, swimming pools, hiking through woods, doing yardword, at the zoo or riding bikes. When the weather is bad we're home a bit more but still gone alot to playgroups, the Children's Museum, Play-A-Lot, Conner Prairie, indoor pool at Monon Center, etc. I think the main key is getting out of the house at least once a day and doing something.

Also remember that your 'job' is to take care of the kids -- not clean the house and do laundry all day! Yes, you can do those things because they need to be done, but when did you do them when you were working? Keep doing that stuff at night or on weekends when your husband is around to help out and spend your days playing with your children -- isn't that why you're deciding to stay home with them? I do very little housework during the day (read above about not being home much!) because if I was working outside the house I wouldn't do it during the day.

I've never felt isolated being a SAHM and I really don't understand how some people can feel that way. I have more friends now and talk with more people during the day now than when I was at work all day! I'm active in a mother's group (there are TONS of them to pick from in the Indianapolis area!) and we have some sort of organized event going on almost everyday if we choose to participate -- playgroups, field trips to zoo/firestation/train museum/whatever, mom's nights out, bookclubs, etc. Or just a way to say "it's nice out and we're heading to XYZ park -- come join us if you want" and having other friends showing up.

The most important thing is to not forget about YOU! Too many moms do that, I think (working or not). I rarely do housework during the girls' naptime. The first hour of naptime is ME time -- to flop on the couch and watch TV, read a good (grown-up!) book or catch up on emails -- whatever I want to do to relax. You get a lunchbreak at work - you more than deserve a break at home, too. Also do something totally non-mom related at least one evening a week. I play sports (currently it's soccer) at least one night a week. It's good for me and it's good for dad and kids to spend time alone together. Joining a mother's group will give you a chance for a mom's night out once a month, too. I think joining a mother's group is pretty vital for a SAHM's sanity, too.

Good luck. It's fun and you won't regret being able to spend alot of quality time with your kiddos!

M., I, too, am a SAHM of 5 years to 2 boys 5 and 2.5. I am involved in MOPS which is fabulous because I get to see other grown-up Moms and get out of the house routinely. We also have our boys in a part-time preschool program during the school year (of course, your kiddos may be a bit young for that, but....)

I wish you only the best. You will never regret being with your babies. They are only little for such a short time (trite but true :-)

Hi M.,

Congratulations! My two are 10 and 5 and I have had the privilege of staying home since my first was born. Time has flown and I can't believe they are this old already! Enjoy the time you have with them while they are young. They change so much, about the time you think you have them figured out they are moving on to another stage. I definitely recommend sitting with your husband and creating a budget to live by (if you haven't already). I wish we would have done that. We have kind of gotten ourselves into a credit crunch since we didn't plan financially with one income like we should have. Also, the moms groups are a good idea in order to have adult interaction and let the kids spend time with other kids. When they get a little older you can take them to the library for storytime (another way to get out of the house and interact with people).

Best Wishes on your new adventure!

I never really had that pleasure, but I know several who have. When I was home, before I had to return to work because of a divorce, i enjoyed every bit of being home with my daughter. We went shopping, to McDonald's to eat, to visit friends and family occasionally, and I made sure I took time to play with her during the day. We watched her kinds of shows while she was awake in the morning and then had a lot of fun. I could also suggest trying to find a part-time job online. There are several out there that are legit. You will have your hands full enough with 2 little ones, but just in case, you could try that idea.

you HAVE to join a mom's group. then you always have someone to talk to or just email. i joined one after being a SAHM for about 8 mnths. i wish i would have joined one right away. i think it's vital. if you go to yahoo groups you could find a lot on there and it's free. i have a group that i just started but i think you live kinda far from us. but if you are interested in it let me know. otherwise, lots of luck and happiness to you and your family!!

M. -
First off, what a WONDERFUL decision you have made. Of course, I am bias as I am a SAHM of 2 when my 1st was born, after working fulltime for 10 years. On top of dealing with the change in my career, we also moved out of state. Talk about a double wammie. I guess I am saying you are not alone. So here is my advise. Find a local moms or MOPS group - you will totally want and need other adult interaction. You can find these on yahoo, meetup.com and other areas. Enjoy the summer - got to the park, pool, zoo...just to get out when you can. Also, I have found that setting up a schedule to my days work well. Mon and Thurs I do laundry, Fri clean house (as I should be doing now :o), Wed run errands...this way you have stuff that needs to get done and feel you have structure. But also set aside time for your kids and enjoy being home with them. Just because you staying home, doesn't mean you aren't working - so treat it like you work for yourself and enjoy the time. If you are worried about money, as all of us are, set u a budget and stick to it. I hope this helps. Your kids will love you being at home.

M.,

You think you will have time for TV??? LOL :)

Anyway, I would recommend finding a playgroup or another mom or two to hang out with to keep you sane. For me, I always enjoyed getting out of the house most days, even if it was only a trip to the grocery store. And at your kids' ages, the grocery store is an exciting adventure for them. Your local library probably has a free story time. It is a good place to meet other SAHM's. Also, during the summer, the park is wonderful.

It may take some time to adjust to the non-corporate world, but the time will fly by I bet you'll love it.

For me, I work part time, which I love because it still gives me lots of time with my kiddos but also important time AWAY from them.

Good luck and god bless.
Laura

With the age of your children I do not think you will have time at all for to much T.V..So I wouldn't be to worried about that. I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years. Just get a schedule going so your not stuck feeling bored at home. Ymca,libraries have story times or just toys for the children to play with. Going out for lunch once a week maybe with dad. But I always do my activities usually in the morning so when it is nap time I can NAP too! Good Luck.

Hi M.,

I quit my FT job to be home last September. I feel like I'm busier now than I was when I was working!! I stay on track by keeping to do lists. I try to make a list every night or first thing in the morning of things I need to accomplish. That way whenever I get a free moment (ie no baby in my arms) I can just glance at my list and pick something to do. I also keep a pretty regular daily routine and have 'typical' days I do things (Mon-focus clean, tues-bills, wed-laundry, thur-grocerylist, fri-catchup).

Financialy it has been a little tight. But I've found some ways to make $$ stretch. I switched to cloth diapers (bumGenius) which are really easier to deal with than I thought they would be. I always make my grocery list based on sales (check out couponmom.com you could cut your grocery bill in HALF!!). I also started a wellness business which brings in some extra income. It's been really great so far and is completley FLEXIBLE around my family time (if you're interested let me know, I can give you more info).

Hope my advice helps, and congratulations on making the decision to be with your babies. Good luck!! Keep us updated.

Samantha
successathome.info
empoweringwellnessonline.com

Congrats on your decision! I have been a sahm for over a year now and I love it and wouldn't trade it for the world! I sometimes get some negativity from other people because I don't have an outside job, but I have a very important job - raising my son.

I've found that I have very little time for television, internet or other things that could take my time. My son is too active and he needs my attention. When I started to feel lonely talking to a baby all day, I started finding places that we could go where I could interact with other adults - Free story time a the public library, a sponsorship at the YMCA (Toddler Gymnastics class, etc), a sponsorship for the Arts Center (toddler music class), etc. When there isn't anything going on, we go to the library where he can play with the toys, puzzles and look at books. On other days I pop him in the stroller and we walk around town or the mall.

Good luck and enjoy the time with your kiddos!

Hi M.! You will be SO surprised at how busy you keep yourself! I am a total busy body, and have been a SAHM now for 4 1/2 years. The first year, I painted every single room in my house! And, my house was always immaculate. Once that was done, I was lucky because we moved to another state for 6 months, so I have had other houses to mess with. What I do is invest in real estate. I buy homes, paint them, have carpets cleaned, and then sell them. I also am remodeling my entire house we live in now, outside and in. Just the landscaping alone will keep you busy in the summers. When you're working, everything is done minimally, but when you have the time, you can really make everything you do top notch. I never watch tv during the day. Not because I am keeping myself from doing it, but simply because I have 100 other things to do, on top of playing with the kids. I do know that it depends on your personality though, because my really good friend is a stay at home mom and watches tv or talks on the phone literally all day. But, her house is maybe 900 square feet, mine is 2500, so cleaning is a much larger job for me. Anyway, don't worry, the hardest part for you will probably be getting used to not being around peers all day. Because of that, I strongly suggest getting to know some other sahm's.

I would recommend the following:
Treat your first week off as if you were on vacation. Just do what you feel like doing, when you feel like doing it. Give yourself a break and the babies a chance to adjust to the routine of having you home with them instead of gone.
Then sit down with your husband and decide what things you can do around the house, yard, etc., that need doing but you have been putting off. Planting a garden to assist with the food bills, (tomatoes, peas, beans, etc.) and plant it. Does a room need painted? Do you have a flower bed area around the house that you can keep weeded or if not do you want one? Does the carpet need cleaned, etc. If so put that on the list of things you can do now that you are home instead of going to work on a daily basis. Decide whether you are going to try to do grocery shopping etc., while taking both of the children with you or if you are going to go in the evening after he gets home and can care for the children and give you a break from being with them, or if you want to do it on the weekend or of an evening together so each of you only has the responsibility of one child while you shop. Pick a day of the week and add it to the list.
The best thing you can do is set a routine and stick to it! Up at X, breakfast and dishes done by X, laundry one day, cleaning house may be broken up into two days or done in one, whichever suits you best. Gardening will need to be done a couple times a week if you decide to garden, and it is a nice time to take the children outside in the fresh air while you work outside. I would suggest morning when it isn't to hot or evening when it isn't to hot. Pick a time of day to take the children out for a walk. I would guess you will be getting a double stroller if you don't have one yet. Make it part of your routine. Pick a day to get together with other mom's in your area to go to the park for a couple of hours or whatever, the Y, a mall area, something to do with someone else who has children and take advantage of it.
I took up canning and freezing and when the veggies and fruits were "in Season" put them up for winter consumption. I found out I could freeze apple sauce in small containers, sans sugar, which was great for feeding the children when they were little! Also slices for pies or apple slices with cinnamon I could use with pork, turkey, or ham for the winter or pies.
I also found out I could garage sale and pick up the next size bigger clothing for the children cheaply and designated one morning (usually a Thursday, sometimes a Friday) every two weeks for strolling through yard sales where I knew they would have children's things.
If you like to read you can do this while the children are napping, or take up needlework, crocheting, knitting, sewing, whatever.
Watching other children to bring in extra income can be a great idea, it can also turn into a nightmare. You have to a room you can donate to the cause, be prepared for parents to drop off early, pick up late, not pay you time, and you have to make sure you meet certain requirements if it is more than one or two.
It can be a very rewarding experience. Good Luck.
P.

Hi M.,
I just recently did the same thing. It was very hard to cope emotionally. It was almost like I was in a mild depression. I guess it felt like a loss. I am the same age as you and I have been working since I was 13. I also felt sort of guilty not going to work everyday. But, I do want to tell you that I am over that and it is worth every minute of it. The advice I can give you is to keep busy!!! I have painted rooms and am getting lts of cleaning done that I probably didn't do good enough before. We also go to the library a lot and do more projects with my children than I did before. I think your kids will be better off with you at home. I know some peopl won't agree, but I wish more moms could stay at home with their children. Sometimes I wonder if that's what is partially wrong with our society today?
Good luck! I'm sure you will have a great time!
I'm 38,3 kids 14,9,4, very happily married.

I worked full time with two girls until last June, when my older one was 3.5 and the younger was 9 months. I didn't realize how hard I had it until I quit work. Pumping, getting up two hours early just to get everyone going, rushing out of work to pick them up from day care (my husband is a resident so we can't depend on his schedule). It is true I have more time to take care of bills, do errands, exercise during naptime instead of 5am all the time, etc...but my personality isn't a perfect fit to stay home full time. I ended up getting a part time job and although the job hasn't been as cool as my full time job was, it still is good to be productive outside of the home. Next year instead of working part time I'll be in school full time and with the girls part time (#3 is due soon). I know I can handle that because of the experience with full time work and kids.

One thing I would suggest though, is find a hobby or goal to work towards. Even the most devoted moms need to have some personal achievements that they can be proud of. The the kids see the work mom has done to better herself and I think it's a good thing to show your kids--take care of yourself too. If it's going to be tough financially, maybe you could do a co-op babysitting group, or carve time out in the early morning or late evening so you have time to pursue a little dream or two.

Good luck!

You sound just like me. I left work at age 37 with birth of second child. Don't worry about the TV, you wont have time. You will be lucky ifyou can get a shower. Biggest problem for me was isolation. All my friends went back to work after childbirth. What you have to do is apply the same skills you had in the workplace to your new position. Remember you haven't stopped working you are just changing fields. Subscribe to magazines like Family Fun they have some great ideas for kids & family. Look for other Moms in you neighborhood to connect with. Don't stay home. Kids need to socialize as much as you do. I remember one cold winter day, weather kept us inside for several days, I packed a picnic lunch, drove to the west side of town where there were several railroad tracks connecting and had a "dashboard picnic". My boys loved trains and we saw one about every 10 minutes. They still talk about that today. Funny what you will do out of desperation.

You've gotten great advice here - I agree to join MOPS. Also, have a plan - design a routine from day one. Don't get up in the morning and turn the TV on - turn the radio on instead and get moving. One of the ladies gave fantastic advice about making the day about your kids - it's a bond that will never be broken if you can form it now. So play with those babies and love on those babies - it's for them that you are staying home! Good luck and as a FTWM I am SO jealous!

I had a rough time transitioning from full time work to SAHM. My post partum depression was so bad I couldn't bear leaving my daughter. I have been at home for a year and a half now and would not change it for the world. Sure there are better days than others but that is true when you work outside the home also. I would rather have a bad day at home with my daughter then have a bad day at work with some co-workers. Also, it was a financial strain for us but it is worth it. We just have to make little cutbacks here and there. You get to see everything they go through as they grow. For me I would just work to make enough money to pay for daycare and working to pay for someone else to toke care of my daughter is not something I want to do. Just find other SAHM in your area and have playdates or get out of the house and go to the YMCA or library. Good luck and have fun!!!

Hi M.!

Your children are so close in age that I don't think you'll have time to watch TV! It's a HUGE adjustment. It takes some time to get into a routine and a schedule everyone can follow. I have been at home with my son for a year now. And the only shows I watch are Super Why, Clifford, Seasame Street, and Caillou! I doubt you'll be sucked into the TV! It's absolutely wonderful to watch your child grow. They are entertaining enough!

Since it's getting nice out, you'll be able to go outside. So being stuck inside won't be too much of an issue for you. That should help with your worry of being isolated as well. There's always PLENTY of parents to talk to at the park. I have befriended a neighbor with a little boy my son's age. And that has helped me feel less isolated as well.

I'm not going to lie, it does get boring at times. But that's when it's time to get creative. My son and I build forts, obstacle courses, and do lots of arts and crafts. I'm sure you'll figure it all out shortly! Good luck! And enjoy it! It truly is a blessing.

I have been a stay at home mom for a little over a year now. Our finances are tighter now but we manage. I just keep myself busy as much as possible. It was quite easy for me to transition to being a stay at home mom because I adjust easily to things. Just try to keep yourself busy. If you keep busy you'll find that you wont be sitting watching t.v.. The kids will keep you on your toes. As long as you get out and get some time for yourself a few times a week you should be just fine. My time alone is going to the store while my husband is home. I go to different department stores and walk around and once in a great while I will go to the bar and have one or two drinks then go home. You will need your time away from home though.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4. I am a stay at home mom except with the occassional help a friend of ours needs. He has his own construction business and if he needs an extra set of hands I help out. My husband is a full time diesel mechanic.

Don't worry about watching to much TV. I am lucky if i get to watch an adult show before the kids go to bed.Be sure and get into a playgroup or something or else you'll be really lonely. Good luck! J.(Mom of 3)

I started a home-based business and it keeps my brain alive!
Call me if you want to hear more or check out my website at mcgennett.usana.com.
Unplug the T.V. and make some income with the babies at home!!!
Be Well,
M.
###-###-####

are you looking for a way to replace your income since you are leaving the outside work force, if so please go to my site:www.saferisbetter.com/loveyourjob and I'll be glade to help you.

Hi M.,

I was 35 and became a stay at home mom when my twins were born. I did struggle a bit, not with boredom, but with the loss of interaction with adults and colleagues. I had been a photojournalist with an active, adventurous job that stopped on a dime when I went on bed rest and then into the full time mom business. Keeping a house was no substitute for fulfilling interactions in the bigger world! I addressed this problem and the constraint of chasing my kids around the "safe zone" in our house, by going to malls, paid play places, the zoo, the children's museum, etc, almost daily. It got the children into safe interactive play, gave them a sense of exploration and adventure and got me out into the bigger world where I could say "YES", "TOUCH", "GO FOR IT!

Now, I am in a great flexible business that allows one to work anywhere and certainly in the kinds of environments I just described. I sell healthy chocolate (see my mamasource listing Chocolate Wellness and Wealth) through a very fast growing and generous MLM. I would like to offer you an opportunity to talk with me about that as a way to be out in the world telling people about a great tasting chocolate that is actually health promoting and another way to say "YES" to your kids! I even have a "Say Hi if you Like Chocolate" button you could wear when out and about, so people will ask you about it and you don't even have to "try" to sell to uninterested strangers. People just come up to you and say "I like Chocolate!" and a conversation begins. You give them a sample and since most people love CHOCOLATE and HEALTH, sales are easy. Meanwhile, you are out having fun with your children instead of home watching TV, they are benefiting from creative interactive play with others and you are making money at the same time. WIN-WIN for everyone!

If you would like to know more about this, please call me, L., at ###-###-#### or email me (____@____.com). I also offer chocolate parties as a way to taste all the products and learn more about the health benefits and business opportunity, so that is another option. The best part is the total investment to get into business with a free website and access to a wealth of marketing materials as well as wholesale pricing is only $35. The rest is all product (plus shipping) which can be eaten for your own health or sold to others.

M.,
Hello! Congrats on making your decision.
Yes, it is a transition.......but worth it!
I am home with a 3.5 year old girl and 13 month old girl.
Not much time for TV...on the go.

My suggestions.......check out all the FREE activities your community offers..library, bookstores, etc. Go to the park and meet other Moms and schedule playdates.

Also, I was using the Arbonne products when I decided to stay home and then turned it into a business while being at home$$
Let me know if you have any questions about Arbonne.

Be Well and enjoy your children!

Congratulations on your brave and wonderful decision! There is no better job in the world than being a mother. In today's world, a 2 income household is often a necessity! But it is possible to make it on just one, just cutting corners here and there makes a huge difference. Cut coupons and share them with friends(it's the "coupon swap"), get a cheaper cell phone(one with just a calling card and only use in emergencies), there are many ways to cut back, it's a sacrifice but it is worth it.
Your two little ones will keep you busy. Join a mom's group(MOPS) or your own group with other SAHM in your neighborhood. Library/story times are also good and get you out of the house.
Best of luck to you and soak in those little ones every chance you get, it goes by way too fast!

Hi M.,
I have been at home now for 13 yrs. I found a lot of time being involved with my kids school. Which was so nice. As far as TV, I never got sucked into that, but I did worry about that also. I do remember my first 6mo. to a year being home. It was grueling! Just not something I was used to and it did take some major adjustments. I missed the routine of waking up and going to work everyday and interacting with adults. It did get better over time. I eventually settled in and grew to love it! The only thing I would change now if I could would be to join a Playgroup. Not only will your child benefit, so will you! Being a stay at home mom is NOT easy as some may think, but it is definitely worth it and is a TOTAL BLESSING! I also keep my social life by doing Home Parties. I work as a In-Home Wine Tasting Consultant. I love doing these parties on my own terms. 1-2 nights a week I get out of the house and make some extra money on the side. Good Luck to you! You will do great. Its just going to take some adjustment. Hang in there! There are soooo many moms that don't have the opportunity you have.

Congratulations on making this life changing decisions. Money will be tighter, but you will enjoy a closeness to your children you would not otherwise have. By all means, take in other children, playmates for your own! I did the same thing, had a schedule and the children all thrived! They do best with routine - stick to one. Play in the morning, pick up toys before lunch. Keep meals simple, and nap time is sacred! Keep track of money paid to you and your expenses. You won't get rich, but you will have grocery money and time with your own family. As a bonus, you will have the time to make your meals, do your laundry, etc. TV will mostly be PBS and children's shows. Good Luck!

You have gotten so many responses that I don't know if you'll even get this far but- here is my experience.

I NEVER expected to be a stay-at-home mom until my first child arrived. I just could not deal with having her being raised by someone other than myself. So after MUCH struggle and deliberation my husband and I decided that I would stay-at-home. It was NOT easy for us, as my income was over 1/2 of our household income. I did many "side" jobs to help us pay the bills. After 4 years of working different "odd" jobs I found something that fit my personality and my family life goals. I started an at-home based business. Usborne Books
Usborne fit perfectly because I am a book lover and love helping children. I cannot tell you how many friends I have made with my business and our kids are growing up together. I am not running a commercial for my business, but feel there are many respected at home businesses that you can get into once you find your daily routine, that can give you something to put your talents into and still be the best mom and wife ever! Not to mention make income of your own :-)

I think M.O.P.S. is a great idea, or even just getting out to kid friendly places that you meet mom's with similar interestes.

The main thing is to just ENJOY this wonderful gift you have been given because I cannot imagine anything more rewarding than seeing my children grown and flourish because their mom has been beside them the whole way. My children will be in 4th and 1st grades next year and mom is proud and excited to have all day next year to work her business. I thought once my children went to school I could go back to work but then we had several friends point out that these are even more important years to have parental influence because most older kids start getting into trouble after school in their teens.

So I am approaching a full-time income with my at-home business and will be able to go on field trips, volunteer in class, be off for summers and be home in the evenings for my smart, well-behaved older children!

Hope this is helpful to you or someone else who may be looking for similar inspiration.

Most Sincerely,
D. Burkart
www.isellusborne.com

I don't think that you will be sucked into watching tv. You will be more busy than you can ever imagine. You will work harder than you do at your job now. The hardest thing is not having adult interaction. Trust me, sometimes, when solicitors call, you find yourself talking THEIR ear off. Good luck and it will all work out. Your kids will be lucky to have you at home.

My biggest advice is actually a two part answer: 1. find a group of other stay at home mommies in your area (the isolation will be overwhelming if you are used to social interaction with adults everyday). 2. Make sure you have a hobby outside of your kids and husband.
My experience as a WAHM for the last 4 years has been that my husband's life wasn't really altered by us having children. He didn't have to give up anything. All of the compromise for me staying at home was on my end. My husband is very anti-social so he doesn't want to come home and talk. It was really tough for me to give up the social part of working at a 9-5 job. So, I joined our YMCA to get out and do something for just me. It worked for me well. I also get together with other mom's on a monthly basis to exchange ideas, recipes and just have "girl" time.
Biggest thing is to cultivate your own interests at the same time or you risk losing yourself. I finally feel like people are seeing me again and not just the cheerios giver that follows the kids around.
It is a tough adjustment but really worth it in the long run. I couldn't be more content now that I have learned a balance!

Congrats! Stay at home mom-dom is its own subculture and may seem a little weird at first...but its fun! Make time to meet with other moms at least once a week. If you don't really know any, join your local Early Childhood PTA and/or local Junior League/Women's Club/Garden Club. Or just hang out at the park and "pick up" a new friend. Also, all the libraries have a story time for babies and toddlers.

You'll get sick of TV after a while once you see the same celebrities on every show selling the same thing. I've just narrowed down TV to one show/day...The View.

PS-If you're in the Cleveland area, the Cleveland Zoo is free on Mondays if you're a Cuyahoga County resident

M.,

It is a big adjustment to go from working full time to being a SAHM both emotionally,physically and financially. I have always loved and wanted to work full time. I had a hard time deciding what to do for our first child. My husband and I had a baby girl a year ago and lost her when she was 2 1/2 months old at the babysitters. We became pregnant immediately and had our next baby girl exactly one year later. I didn't have a choice this time around.... there wasn't going to be another babysitter for a long time. But, I am a proud and very happy SAHM. I love it. I do believe that it is harder than going into work everyday. The benefits outweigh the stresses though. I am watching my 4 month old grow up. It is so awesome! I can't imagine ever missing out on all the little and big milestones now. It does hurt financially if you aren't careful. I am not good at the Staying at home part.... I go out and spend money that we don't have. My best advice to you is to give yourself some sort of daily routine with the baby and you won't let yourself veg out too much. It is beneficial to meet other SAHM. It is amazing what groups are out there for moms and kids. Check out Clarion North Hospital. They have two groups for different age groups and it is a great way to meet new moms. Good luck and be patient. You will have to get used to it at first. You'll be loving it in no time.
____@____.com

I had stayed at home with my 3 children, 10, 7 & 5, until about 2 years ago. Look for any SAH mother's groups in your area...most of them meet biweekly or monthly for playdates, lunches, etc. If you belong to a church, they sometimes have groups also. The Metro libraries have great programs for all ages..the main library is fantastic. I spent a lot of time at area metro parks (the nature centers, walks & playgrounds) with my children during nice weather. When it was too cold for this, we visited mall play areas and would occasionally have lunch at the food court. I truly miss the time home during the day with my children! Enjoy this time of their lives, they grow up tooo fast!!! As they get to toddler age we had lots of fun fingerpainting at home, making tents & coloring...it's nice to have the "time" to play and not have to follow a strict schedule everyday except for feeding times. One advantage to staying home is the grocery stores are great to shop as opposed to evening and weekends (which I still haven't gotten used to!). Stick to a routine as much as possible for meals & naps and your kids will do great!!! Debbie

Although my boys are 3 1/2 years apart, I too, worked full time. The best/ONLY advice I can give, is that you plan, schedule, MAKE time to do something you enjoy with adults or alone. It can be something as simple as dinner with friends once a week, or having the babies with a sitter for an hour a week to go for a manicure, massage, or workout. In other words, time for yourself is ESSENTIAL. It's not selfish, and anyone who believes it is, has never spent 24hrs with small children. It doesn't mean you don't love them, it means you're smart enough to have balance in your life.

Congrats! It will take about a year for you to really get used to the change (at least it did for me). I got involved with story time at the lib. and MOPs. They may be dark for the summer but you might want to look it up on line and get a hold of someone in the steering group. They may have scheduled playdates in the summer and you can get to know a few of the moms. Summer is a good time to go to parks and there is a lot going on with summer reading groups at the lib. My boys love the summer reading groups. We get prizes for the reading we already do. I have twin boys so the amount of work will be simular with your being 12 mo. apart. Get the kids on a little bit of a schedule for the basics. Pick a day to go to the lib. You will end up seeing the same people over and over again that way. Story time is great and free. Go to the Akron Zoo. It doesn't have some of the animals you would think a zoo would have but it is free for your kids and you can spend a day there for not much money. See if there is play goups with some of the churches.

I can not tell you how much Mops saved my SHAM life! You get adult time and the kids are taken care of in the sunday school rooms.

As far as being tight. Watch what you spend. Determine what is most important to keep doing and get rid of bills you can. For example, we got rid of the newspaper because we were not reading it and we can get the news we care about on the internet. We go out to eat a lot less because I am better at planning meals and sticking to it. I have a freezer stash of favorite meals(lasagna, stuffed peppers etc.) for the days that get to far out of control.

We were very suprised at how much easier it was to control spending with me at home. Sounds like it will be important for you to keep this part undercontrol so your hubby will be happier with the decision. I was in the same boat. My husband wasn't sure we could live on one income. He also thought I was too social to be a SHAM and that I would miss the adult interaction. Little did he know that I get all the social interaction I need for little to no cost. We were spending nearly $1000.00 per month for child care. The company I worked for closed and I was out of a job. I told him that I didn't think I could afford to get a job at the cost of child care. I ended up being right. I have been home for 2 years and my boys are 4. It has been the best decision we ever made. My kids are much happier to have mommy at home.

Good luck!

Dear M.,
I commend you for wanting to be a SAHM. I have stayed at home all my married life. It was easy for me because my children were more important than me dressing up for work.
I have been married for almost 18 years now.
I suggest you find other SAHM in your area. Maybe others in your church or neighborhood. You will need support from others women because as you know it is not popular to stay at home. Make sure you make time for your husband by going on dates with him. It doesn't have to be expensive but just so he knows he is not forgotten.
I believe you are doing the best thing for your children. There may be times when you get discouraged but just remember you are the best positive influence on your kids and no one else can care for them and love them the way you will.

L. M.

Get involved in community events. There are all sorts of events going on for children through Parks and Recreation and at the library. The children have a chance to socialize, play and learn and adults have a chance to see other parents and socialize. You can meet people to schedule playdates.

Plan a few hours a week to go out with a girl friend, window shopping, Bible study, or something that's just for you without the kids.

I personally became very closterphobic feeling like I had no access to the outside world and everyday was all about the kids. After getting them involved in activities and scheduling time with friends, it helped out a great deal. We each need time to socialize with our peers. I think it becomes even more important when exiting the corporate world where you are so used to talking to people and bantering daily. I realized that I missed the dialy banter with girlfriends even though it might only last 5-10 minutes as walking down a hallway or waiting on a meeting to begin.

I too left the teaching world with my first, and number two came 13 months later. I also had moved to a small town away from friends and family. I would suggest planning lunch/play dates with friends who also have small children. Just going to someone else's home can be a great change of scenery. Also, try a local MOPS group. Another opportunity for girl time and they provide child care for the entire meeting. They meet 2x a month. You can go online to MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers) and find a group near you. Don't be misled by the name, when they say preschoolers, it includes infants and toddlers, not just the 3-4 yo crowd.
I also did child care but only one child at a time. Watching a few really ties you down to the home, but that's a personal decision you will have to make.
Trust me, between running around after two babies and keeping up the home, you won't have time to watch t.v. ha ha
Good luck and God bless. What a wonderful opportunity to be able to stay home with your kids, I know it can be financially strapping.

I left my job to be a SAHM in January. I still send my son to daycare 2 days a week because we can afford to do that. This allows me to take a fitness course and pilates, plus run the family errands without leaving or hauling a crabby kid around all morning. When I stay home i try and mix things up by playing downstairs for a while and then moving upstairs for a while. When its nice we walk and play outside in the morning. We don't have any small kids in our neighborhood and I don't know any young moms in my area, so it can get a little boring at times and I miss the daily interaction and using my brain like I did with work, but I have seen my son develop and we have a blast together.

K.

Playgroup. Either start one or get into one that is already established. I think it is one of the best things I ever did as a SAHM.

M.

Congrats, M., on your new status as a SAHM! I worked in an office up until the day before I went into the hospital for a scheduled C-section. Unfortunately, I didn't really prepare myself for staying at home and being a full-time mommy. The best thing I've ever done was to accept an invitation to meet with another group of stay-at-home moms on a weekly basis. We have play dates for our babies, and we also spend that time catching up on each other's lives and giving each other much needed advice. We've seen our babies grow and watched a few of us add new babies to the group. It's been great! We also implemented a "Mom's Night Out" once a month, where we leave babies with hubbies, and we try to have a relaxing, fun evening together as just the girls. Another thing I've done in the past couple of years is to start a new hobby, like jewelry making and taking dance lessons. It keeps both my hands/body active and my mind sharp. Finally, I've found that just getting out of the house once a day helps me to feel less isolated. I've taken my son to various mall play areas, and we got a membership to COSI. I take him on most of my errands to the store or library or post office or whatever. We sometimes even go out to breakfast/lunch together. Now that the weather is warming up, we also try to go to different local parks or playgrounds. There are lots of free things to do outside of the house, and it really helps a mom's mental state to be out and about with other people. Don't forget to make sure you get some evenings/weekends alone with hubby! That can make a big difference in your attitude, too. Good luck!

If you can't find a local moms' group, you could always just take your kids to the park. Now that it's getting warmer out, there will be more children there and that's a great way to meet other families. You might even end up starting your own little group. :)

Staying at home can be stressful, but it can also be very rewarding. My only piece of advice would be to make sure you find something that is just for you. You're going from not only being a wife and mom but also a career woman to just being a wife and mom. But, that's not all you are. You are still an individual who needs time and activities for just you. Money can definitely be an issue with that, so find something you enjoy that is either cheap or free like going to the library to read once a week or something like that.

God bless,
A.

Hi! We decided that staying home was the only way when our 4th child arrived, he's 2.5 now. It was a very hard decision. I was so scared financially. But, you know, things always work out! I decided to watch a couple of children to help with the income. I didn't want to be stuck at home all day everyday watching children though. I decided to watch kids before and after school (you will be surprised how many people just need this service) and I watch a little girl part time. This way I have days that I just have my own little ones (our fifth child just arrived 3 months ago). I haven't joined any Mom's groups, but I do take my toddler to a parent/toddler class once a week.
As for watching tv. I usually only get to watch when I am nursing or eating lunch. I joke that it's not fair that I am a Domestic Engineer and I don't get to watch Oprah! There is just no time! Before I stayed home, I had a mental list of all the things and projects I was going to get done. HA! If I get the laundry, dishes and dinner made, I feel like I have accomplished the world! :)
Good luck in your new career path. It will be hard, but very rewarding. And everyday will be a new adventure!

Hello M.. My kids were much older before I got the opportunity to stay home, but I was very bored!! If they are babies, you will be more occupied, but make lots of plans to do things outside the home. i felt very captive. On the other hand, I wouldn't trade it for the world! My kids are now 13 and 9 and my 9 yr old (son) just told me he is ok with going to the bus stop alone now. He has cut some more strings. So take advantage of your opportunity!!

Join a moms' group! It's a great way for you and your kids to stay social! I started one here in Muncie, IN when I moved here and I have information on a couple others as well! If you are local, feel free to contact me and I can give you the information!

Great advice here! I left teaching preschool when my son was due and stayed home ever since; he's 8 now. I realize this is different from leaving a corporate situation. First I'd like to say that being a SAHM does not have to mean that you have the t.v. on all day. That's a little depressing to me so I left the t.v. off all day and turned on the radio - or c.d.s. Sometimes the kids' music, sometimes mine. We read books like crazy! Plus, to ease the financial burden, we didn't have cable or satelite so there wasn't anything much on t.v. anyway! My kids would watch one or two shows on PBS if it was coming in good! Otherwise, we had a few VHS tapes (sounds old!) they'd watch, but only one a day (max 2 in special cases). And I am not a super duper crafty mom either. I remembered a few learning craft type things from my preschool teacher days but other than that it was minimal. We would sometimes take my grandma out to lunch with us and to run errands with us (helps having an extra hand with the kids when you're out and grandma loved getting out), when it's nice we got to the park sometimes, we walked around the block, (got out the bikes later on) blew bubbles, danced or just acted silly together, played our fair share of Candyland and Chutes and Ladders! We just did whatever we wanted to, pretty much! I never did join any mommy clubs or play groups. For a little while there was another SAHM across the street from me and we'd visit/walk together but for the most part it was just us, and my mom & grandma some days. I did go workout in the evenings (Jazzercise!) and valued that social time as well as the excercise! We didn't have pool memberships or zoo memberships or anything like that - but we still had a good time just being. You'll see - just do what comes naturally! I think you'll enjoy your kids and yourself - and make countless memories that you'll all cherish for a lifetime. God Bless you on your new venture!

Plan your work & work your plan. Schedule time for laundry, reading, paying bills, etc when the child is taking a nap, before they get up, after bed, etc. If you KNOW what you have to do and schedule things daily......things ALSO change on a daily basis when it comes to having children, so you have to be flexible.........but plan!

If you feel the need, figure out a business you can do from home and work on that to occupy your time and use your gifts & talents.

Hi,

My name is K. and I am a SAHM of 4 kids. I worked in Corporate America and then came home 7 years ago to be a full time mom. But I also wanted to help my husband out financially. I decided to work from home and I absolutely love it! I have replaced my income, home with my kids, and have met so many wonderful friends by working from home. I have free time for my family but also able to have the extra money is awesome. My website is www.workathomeunited.com/K.
Are you located in Ohio? Just curious!
Make it a great day!

I wish I knew 28 years ago what I know now. I left work and totally threw myself into being the best mom and wife that I could. That was great, but I forgot to balance it out with keeping up with my own personal growth. If I could go back, I would change a few things. First of all, I would look into home based businesses, and find one that I could do when my husband was home to take care of the boys. Who knew that working from home could be so profitable AND fulfilling? Read books like all of Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad Series, especially The Business School For People Who Like Helping People.

Take good care of your health now, and prevent problems down the road. Don't put off your own Doctor's Appts. Treat them just like you do your children's. Your kids need you to be healthy so that you can help them grow up. T. L

i set the timer on my tv in the morning. i like to watch the today show, so i set it for 1 hour when it comes on, when the tv turns off, that's the end of that until 3-4pm when it's my sons' turn for his 1 hour of tv. we play alot of learning games & his teacher sent home homework like papers so he can continue learning over the summer before he starts 1st grade. you just have to try everything & see what works best for you. good luck & god bless.

M. - I can understand the concern you and your husband would have with you staying at home. I, too, worked as a paralegal and absolutely loved my boss and job! Quitting was not easy at all. We also felt that we needed some of my income to survive. So,what I did was - I looked for a position that I could job share and cut down to 2 days one week and 3 days the next week. It worked out great! I was able to spend a lot more time raising our children. Then, after our finally seeing that we could survive on one income I quit working outside the home completely. The first time I quit it was Fall and I felt closed in because it was cold outside and heading into Winter. I went back to working part-time just to help my old boss out for a bit. Then, I had him all caught back up - I began staying at home again in the Spring - and what a HUGH difference that made! I and the kids got outside all of the time - we even did Moms & Me Camps at our local park that the kids did crafts or nature hikes, had the kids in swimming lessons, etc. Wore them and me out! But, what a blessing to be able to spend the time with them.