"New Relationship and Friendship Loss"

could be they don't like him. could be they don't like the changes in you since you've started seeing him. could be none of the above.
they might just be busy.
why not ask 'em?
khairete
S.

Why not just ask them?

It could be a couple different things.

Maybe it is as simple as having said No one too many times lately because you had plans with your boyfriend. Or couldn't commit because you thought you might have plans with your boyfriend. Or canceled on them in favor of your boyfriend. People eventually stop asking for your attention.

However, since you seem to be reaching out and not getting anywhere. I wonder if it is a more serious reason.

For example, I had a friend who was so wrapped up in her new guy that she would not go anywhere without him. She automatically assumed that any invitation to her also included him, even if it was something like Girls Night or a baby shower. So people stopped inviting her unless they intended him to come too. Even phone conversations on her end were all about him or what the two of them were doing together. They got married and are still like that. They don't do anything separately, ever.

The other situation I can think of is if your friends don't like him. You think he is wonderful, but they might not. I know someone who was with a controlling a-hole for a long time. If he'd 'let' her do something with a friend, he'd be calling or texting the whole time. Trying to talk to her about it resulted in tearful "you don't understand/I love him". It's not always worth it to keep trying. She had to figure it out herself. It took a few years before that happened.

You're going to have to Ask directly if there is a reason you seem to be drifting apart. It might be a circumstantial nothing, and you'll feel better. Or you might not like the answer, so prepare yourself to hear it so you can respond without drama.

Are you texting too much about your relationship and maybe they feel you are communicating for yourself and less for them? Look over your texts and emails to see about the subject matter.

Is it possible that they don't actually like the man you are with or feel that he's not a healthy match for you? Not that it's up to them to approve of him, but if they have reservations, they may be keeping their distance.

I have a friend who checks in all the time. I get texts or emails - to check in. I say "There, she can check me off her list". It's not the same as getting together, without boyfriend, and being a friend. She does it because she's busy with her new guy. I know she still cares, but I don't always reply.

Your friends may also be busy. Just ask your sister if this is the case.

If you're talking about him all the time, that's another reason people distance themselves.

I would do fewer check ins, and instead suggest you go for coffee/drinks/supper whatever in person without your guy.

Good luck :)

I've had this experience but going the opposite way. When I got married, friends jumped off and some even went ghost. LOL. Don't put too much weight on it. Friendship takes two and some friendships have seasons.

You do your part which is to reach out and if they do not reciprocate, you can't make them. It may just be time to find new friends while you are nurturing this new relationship.

You may even try talking to your friends about this and see if you get an answer. It may very well have nothing to do with you but may just be coincidence but you never know until you ask. Besides in my opinion, it doesn't hurt to ask even if you may not like the answer.

Friendships come and go, ebb and flow, relax and just enjoy your life because ultimately you get to choose your friends and there are still plenty of people in this world for you to be hung up on three. Stay friendly even if things are changing.

Maybe your friends and sister are busier than you think they are. Why is it necessary to call them out for being single?

Maybe they don't care for your new bf. If my friends/family backed off communications with me in this situation, I would evaluate my relationship with my bf and find out if they see some negative traits that you cannot see right now because you are in love/lust.

Maybe your attitude has changed toward them because you now have a bf. If could be a vibe that you don't realize you are sending.

Maybe your checkins with them appear to be like a brag?

Im not saying you are doing any of this on purpose or at all. It's easy to send messages to people involuntarily by way of tone of voice, body language, etc.

Or maybe they are just not the friends you thought they were.

The best way to figure it out is to communicate and ask them. Leave bf at home one night and go reconnect your bond with your friends over dinner or whatever you like to do together. You need your friends and even with a bf or hubby, it takes effort to maintain relationships. It's not a one sided deal.

Good luck

Maybe they think you are busy with your guy and don't have as much time for them. Maybe they only think they should ask out other single people bc they assume you will be with your date. You should ask them what's up.

Once you are a couple, single friends tend to drift off.
I've seen it in high school, college and at work.
It's just the way it is and it's a natural development.

Have you bothered to ASK them what's going on? Maybe they ARE busy. Maybe you are changing and instead of battling with you, they CHOOSE to stay in contact but at a distance.

Just because they are "single" does NOT mean they Do NOT have a life and aren't busy doing something.

Why not schedule a girls night out? Tell them how you are feeling and what you have noticed and look them in the eye instead of using devices to connect.

What do you talk about? Is it all about him?

It might just really be h*** o* them to still be looking and you've found one. Look back on your texts/emails and think about your conversations. Be honest with yourself.

Then talk to them about it.

This is not unusual, maybe they are not interested in hearing about how "wonderful" your guy is because they are along....OR Maybe they just don't like the new man in your life and don't want to say anything.....OR Maybe you have been going overboard with all the calling, texting and checking on them. If you want to get to the bottom of it, have a face to face with the one you are closest to......I know it may not be your sister. Blessings.....

My first thought was that maybe you have become a "phone" friend instead of actually hanging out with them. I prefer to hang out w my close friends and not just have a phone relationship with them. You need to ask all of them, and tell them you want to hear the truth no matter how painful it may be.

Make the next contact a specific invitation to SEE them and do something. Not all in a group--issue each of them a separate invitation to see her and to do something in which you know she is interested. "Hey, Jan, there is a craft fair at the community center on Oct. 3 and I know you enjoy those--How about if we go to the fair in the morning and then go out to lunch?" And so on.

Be specific, set aside enough time to really talk face to face, focus on what truly engages each of them, and make a silent vow to yourself that you will not bring up the boyfriend unless your friend/sister brings him up and asks directly how he is or how the relationship is going. If that happens, add a vow that you will answer briefly, thank friend or sister for asking about Him, and then move on and ask about something or someone important to her.

Focus on the friend you're with, how she is doing, what she's been up to; ask about her work, kids (single women do have 'em), or parents if she's involved with her folks, etc.

In other words -- checking in can be fine, but friends are people you see and with whom you share experiences.

I don't assume that you are bragging or just talking about your relationship here, though that is a possible reason why they might have backed off communicating much. It's also possible that each of them just happens to have other stuff going on that you don't know about -- a tough time at work (or a great time, maybe with more responsibilities so she's busier); an illness of her own or in her family; a new interest or involvement (maybe even with a significant other but she doesn't want to go into it via text); or any of a hundred other things. But these are all things that many of us wouldn't want to introduce as topic in texts or e-mails -- you need to see them more and spend enough time with them that they, and you, are actually interacting and sharing a fun experience, not just checking in.

Also, bear in mind: They might be feeling that "I would like to communicate with/see MemyselfandI, but she's probably so busy with Boyfriend...I don't want to bother her or seem needy...." It's surprising how much "I don't want to bother" causes people to drop away from communicating. It's not a factor of jealousy or resentment, just a feeling of "She's doing well, she probably doesnt' need me bugging her." So be clear that you want their friendship woman to woman, by arranging to see them more.