Need Some Advice - Athens, OH

Hi there, My dh is a therapist and he said that it sounds like your son really needs some individual therapy. Often when children have things happen to them they are not great at expressing themselves and it will come out in their play. Sounds like he may just have some things he needs to work through. Not sure all that happened with the other child but I hope that child gets some help as well. If they are as young as your son it sounds like they may have been inappropriately touched as well. Good luck. I hope that your son is doing better soon.

At 3 1/2 I would not think this was inappropriate at all. Kids are curious at this age. I would not make him feel ashamed for being curious, maybe ask if he has any questions about anything.

Being a former teacher, I can assure you that kids are naturally curious about things like this. I would get some children's books that go over what is "down there", what makes boys and girls different, etc. Maybe even take him to a farm where there are male and female animals to help explain. I wouldn't worry too much about this it is a stage that all kids go through, and it will pass.

It is sad that this happened to your son. I am sure you are very upset with the whole situation and are trying everything to correct it-- but I think that your son will eventually outgrow this behavior. I think that you need to enlist the help from the school-- who was not watching this other boy close enough to begin with-- and get them to help correct your son's behavior-- "Only one person in the potty at at time." "That's not a nice thing so ask to see someone's p****** p****." -- etc.. and set up a rewards system for when he is able to not get any reprimands--- the teachers could use sad face stickers or something visual after the redirection so he knows he won't get his reward that day. However, if he gets a day with no sad faces-- reward jar-- I would recommend a big jar (I used an empty pretzel jar from BJs when I made my reward jar)-- and put baggies of treats or small toys in it and he can pick from it.

You will get better success with reward and positive reinforcement than with punishment at this age and stage. Best of luck-- and getting a counselor is a good idea as well.

Kids are naturally interested in their privates and others. I wouldn't characterize it as i************ t*******, but as curiosity. I always explained it to my kids as "It's ok to touch yourself, but not other people." This is usually a phase that goes away, but you may want to talk to your pediatrician about child development. I don't think a counselor will necessarily be able to stop this or convince the kids to stop, unless the counselor is HIGHLY trained in that age. Good luck!