Need Advice on Unusual Behaviour

She's lucky to have you. I agree that you need to get some kind of professional help - the sooner the better for her sake. You may have some difficulty if the mother (or father) won't at least agree to let you take her to a doctor. I don't know what the legal requirements on the doctor are for obtaining parental consent to see a child.

When my 5 year old was having trouble with social skills, self-confidence and shyness, I learned she struggles with anxiety. Her biofeedback therapist explained to me that when you see a kid over-reacting significantly to things, you should suspect anxiety. If they are already stressed out (too much adrenaline), then the least frustration is just too much to bear. Biofeedback (not invasive, not painful, really just breathing and muscle relaxation techniques) was very helpful for my daughter, and can be done with kids as young as 4 or 5. That might be helpful AFTER you discover the cause of this change in behavior.

The recommendation of a comprehensive neuro-psych evaluation was a fantastic one.

We love Rusty Lozano (www.onlinebiofeedback.com) for the kids' various issues. He does play therapy, family therapy, biofeedback, etc. He has 4 kids of his own, and his wife is also a child psychologist, so he is very empathetic. If your granddaughter is afraid of men, he could recommend a female therapist for you.

Good luck.

Has there been anything new happen in her life happen? New boyfriend, new home, school, any change? This could be her way of an unsure environment. Also if there is a new person around the child may not be doing well with this person or have had a bad experiance. Kids will get bothered by the little things. I would start by taking her to the dr and letting them know. Also try to really inforce the good behavor and help her work through the fits. There is always a reason you just may need to hunt for it.
Good Luck.

i'm so sorry you and your granddaughter are going through this. it is so difficult to see our kids suffer.
you said her mother is your EX-daughter-in-law. i assume her parents divorced. people underestimate how tough divorce is on a child. as a child of divorce, i struggled terribly. so, maybe it's not something as horrible as molestation. i would definately take her to a counselor of some sort to help get to the root of this problem.

She might be being molested at school, probably by another child. It happens more frequently than you realize. I would get an agency or therapist involved either way.

Take her out of school. Watch as she reblossoms, then you'll know it was some sort of antagonist at school, and she will develop better at home.

It might have something to do with her father's absence (?divorce, separation, abandonment, death??? You mentioned ex-daughter-in-law...)even if he is still in the picture.

Definately get her some professional help, and definately draw her closer to you(or her mother!)

Praying,
A.

Hi P.,
My first question is she taking any new medication? My daughter was behaving like this as well and it took us several months to figure out it was a medication called singulair which is given for asthma and allergies. If she is taking this drug I would take her off right away. I would look into any side effects of any medication she might be taking. Hope this helps. Good Luck!
M.

I would suggest talking to the pediatrician. He/she can refer you to someone if they cannot offer reasurance or solution. Since you raised your own children you would know something about "normal". So I would definetly say seek expert advice before doing anything if you are concerned.

P.
I certainly would impress upon the child's mother that her behavior is not normal. She is acting out for some reason and getting to the bottom of it would be wise before she is older. You certainly would not want her going thru puberty with unresolved issues.
On another note, I am in the process of planning a wedding for my daughter. I am interested in your flower business and Bridal Boutique.
Thanks

Google Sensory Processing disorder.

P.,
Don't worry about the fact she is afraid of the flushing sound. My 6 year old still either won't flush or RUNS out of the bathroom as soon as she does flush.
What concerns me greatly is her reaction when Papa came home. Speaking from experience, it sounds like she is afraid. You need to talk to her and ask some questions that allow her to feel comfortable with you and she knows she will not get in trouble, and ask what makes her afraid, why does she cry, and even more direct questions like do grown men make her afraid, or adults, or just males, etc... I will be praying that this is not anything big, but just from what you have written gives me an uncomfortable feeling. Unfortunately, my kids "Papa" turned out to be a bad one, if you know what I mean. I had that "women's intuition" about him and luckily had kept a VERY close eye on my girls when he was around. And that is what caught him and protected my children. I never would have believed it, until now. At night was a time that scared my girls too. So, go with whatever your gut is telling you. Take her to the doctor like others have suggested. Please encourage her mom to understand this is above normal reactions and should be addressed. If the mom is young or this is her first child, she may not even realize what is going on. But you are around the grandchildren a lot and that is good. The more eyes to watch and protect our children, the better. God bless you and your family P.. If you would like to talk via email, I would be willing to talk and help. Just send me a message via Mamasource.

I would be VERY concerned. Don't let it ride - talk to her pediatrician if you can. Or try talking to the little girl by asking non-threatening questions just to see if something has happened to her or if she's afraid of something or someone. Maybe you can get some professional advice on how to talk to her. I'm sure there's a reason she's acting this way.

Sorry, maybe I'm reading it wrong, but it's not clear to me whether or not your granddaughter's mother is concerned. ?

I would start looking for any changes that have occurred within several week prior to the behavior in her life.
Is Mom or Dad seeing someone new?
If so, maybe the someone new is so nice.
Maybe a child at school is picking on her.
The flushing noise could be scary because the toilets at school flush so loud and hard and maybe she has a small sensory issue. I know several children with this response.

Or god forbid, someone has been doing inappropriate things to her.
I would take her to the doc myself and explain what she has been doing and allow them to check her out completely.

It could all be something she is just going through at the moment and it will pass as quick as it came without explanation.

Good Luck,
R.

I read the other responses and just wanted to add one more voice to "listening to your gut", even if the mother is not so concerned. Don't back away from your granddaughter. I'd definitely talk with the teacher, school counselor, ASAP, then Pedi. If no answers are suggestions as to contributing issues are found, definitely seek neuro-psych help. You are doing the right thing to be concerned. God bless you and your granddaughter. I am a retired family counselor and a grandmother and affirm your being so involved in your grandchildrens' lives.

I would recommend a neuro-psycholgist evaluation because that would cover all possible reasons for your precious granddaughter's behaviors. I am a speech pathologist and there could be many reasons for this - anything from sensory integration disorder to something bothering her at home. The best neuro-psych I know is Dr. Shannon Taylor. She is fantastic! You can reach her at ###-###-####. She offices in Plano and Frisco. Good luck to you.