Need Advice on Proper Punishment

Usually 1 minute/per year of age. That always seemed to work for me. Sometimes I think I'd like to be stood in the corner..for all of 49 minutes!! No chores, meals to prepare, errands to run...sorry dear...I'm in the corner..come back later.

Sounds like you have a wonderful family.

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Hi K.,

I agree with the other posters - 1 minute per year. However, if your grandchildren are pitching a fit when you put them in the corner, only start the 4 minute count when they've stopped yelling. Otherwise, they will only think you stopped timeout because of their yelling.

All my best to you in all your wonderful, caring endeavors.
D.

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when my boys were small i was told 1 min for every year that works pretty good most of the time but there time however did not start till they were sitting down were ever it was that i told them to sit and they were not crying use a timer it also helps so you can tell them that when the bell goes off that they can get up but not till then and if then get up there time will start all over

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I have found that time outs just don't work for my 4 yr old daughter anymore but if you want to keep doing it I have heard that one minute for each year. Anyhow, I have found taking away one of her privileges to be better discipline. I let her watch a show at night before bed usually Little Bear or Frankiln. She just hates to get her show taking away sometimes it takes two nights in a row to get our point across but then we usually get about two weeks of good behavior out of her. I think 4 yr olds are smart enough to figure out that a time out is not so bad. I have had to take her favorite toy away until she has several days of good behavior. The only thing that stinks about that is I am being punished too because I don't get that little break I deserve in the evening.

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We use the number of minutes for years theory. So, a four year old would be in time out for four minutes. Setting a timer helps us so they know when time is actually up. Plus getting down on their level when getting them "out" of time out and explaining why they were put there (followed by a hug and I still love you) works for us.

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In general the rule of thumb is 1 minute for each year. But, I have always held that the minutes don't start until the child is co-operating. So, a "time out" could actually take a very long time. If the child comes out of the corner, starts complaining, etc. Then the time starts over. I've actually had a child spend hours in time out before the time out could actually begin.

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Hi, K.-

I am the mom of a head-strong 4 year old. I pretty much agree with the other comments. The "clock" starts after crying is over and when I go to him to discuss why he was punished and what he needs to do differently, if he is still mad or won't listen, I quietly say, "I guess you're not ready yet", and he get a couple more minutes...this cycle can go on, as you would imagine, but it seems to work.

Another thing that really works with my son is toy time-out. If he misbehaves while he is playing with a toy, the toy often gets timeout, usually for a hour, or what ever is appropriate. This seems to work great if it is fights about toys or fighting while playing with certain toys. I think he dislikes this more than real timeout!!

Good luck!!!

K. H

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You sound like you have an amazing family and have done an amazing job raising your kids! So, did you never have to stand your own kids in the corner? :) I have read that a minute per year of age is appropriate, and that you should set a timer so there is no debate over it.
God bless you and your wonderful family.

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Hi K., I am the grandmother of only one after 40 years of marriage and of course she is our old age treasure. She still needs to be disciplined and I read and article that says it should be one minute for each year of the childs age. I can see this working at 1 or 2 but by the time they are 3 and older I think it should be at least 5 to 10 minutes. At three and up I think they are really aware of what they have done to be in time out and need the extra time to "think it out for themselves". We have a little chair that faces the corner and she is not allowed books, crayons, dolls etc.... to distract from the reason she is there. Kids are never too young to talk to so as soon as the time is up, I would talk with the child and remind them why they are in time out. Hopefully, it will work. My heart goes out to you about the situation with your husband. I, too, have been a caregiver to my mother and now my husband is ill. Those grandchildren are a real blessing and help to brighten the days that we feel down. God Bless.

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My mom always taught me that until a child is 5-6 they do not understand the concept of time well. She always said that 1 minute for each year of their life is sufficient. A set of twins that I took care of for years had to go to their room and put an egg timer on the outside of their door set for the right number of minutes (they got to set it). This way they wouldn't scream the whole time they were in their room. The egg timer gives the child a visible end point to the punishment. With my own 6 year old, his punishments got longer than his age when he started kindergarten. It also depended on what he was doing to get into trouble. I hope this helps.

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Hi K.,

It's one minute per age, so 4 minutes! I'm so sorry about your husband, I know that must be hard on you. God Bless bless your American Heros, mine is one too. Take care, K.

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My son has to stand in the corner or sit next to my clock (the two time out spots) for 1 minute. During that minute if he whines, talks, or turns around it's another minute. I set the timer on the microwave so he can hear it go off. It works pretty well with him. I know all kids are different though. Good luck. It sounds like you have a wonderful family.

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As everyone has posted it is one minute per age...so 4 minutes. Also, instead of standing use a chair, step, bean bag, or in my case I use a small kitchen rug. The reason I use a rug is because I bought a towl the same color that I keep in the car. That way if we are at the park or a friend's house (grandparent's house) and my son needs a time out I just pull it out and he knows what to do (although not happy about it). Good luck. One more thing..if he gets up the time starts over. Get a timer b/c at this age they can watch it and know when time is up. Just keep it out of reach so it does not go sailing into the air! :-)

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I heard you go by thier age. A minute for each year, so four minutes. It seems like forever to a child.

One minute for each year. God bless you and your family.

The rule is a minute for each year they are..so four minutes.

4 minutes - 1 minute for each year of his age.

The rule of thumb is one minute for each year of age, so your 4-year-old should get 4 minutes of time out per episode.

I always do 1 minute per year, so 4 minutes for a 4 year old.

one minute per year of age so 4 years old for him. No talking, responding to him, etc. If he gets out and runs around time out starts over!

i do one minute per year plus one, so my 5 year old sits for 6 min.

I watch that show Supernanny and she says a minute per year old. So your 4 year old would sit in the corner for 4 minutes. Don't know if it will work, but it seems to in her shows. Good luck!

I have always heard that a good rule of thumb is "one minute for each year", so 4 minutes for your child.

It is suggested that they stay in timeout for one minute per year of age...so 4 mins for him since he is 4.

W. M. M'boro, Tn

One minute for every year. 4 yr old = 4 minutes.
J.

the general consensis is that it is one minute for every year old. for a four year old 4 min. 5 year old 5 min and so on. Any longer and more than likely they wont remeber what they did wrong.

The general rule is one minute per year of age. While he/she is in time out, do not give him attention and if he/she gets out, the time starts over. It's tough but remember, persistence is the key. good luck.

I have 8 children. I always stand them in the corner for 1 minute per year of age. my 2 year old gets 2 minutes, my 3 year old gets 3, and so on. That is what the pediatrician told me.

I believe for a 4-year-old, they say four minutes. However, my 5-year-old granddaughter LIVES with her face to the wall. LOL I think it actually depends on the child.

one minute for every year of age. so if he is four than he spends four minutes in time out.

I believe it is one minuter per age.

One minute per year. Four year old-four minutes. According to Supernanny- on TV- doesn't have to be standing in a corner, can be sitting on a step or any pre designated spot.

4 minutes-- 1 minute for each year of his age. If he's 4 1/2 then 4 1/2 minutes. Start timing when he stands still; if he walks away halfway through, put him back and restart the timer. The point is he has to stand still for the whole time.

One suggestion I read was their age in minutes, i.e., four minutes for a four-year-old child.

In most behavior/discipline books, it says 1 minute per age. So in your case, 4 minutes.

The punishment time is 1 minute per age of life. So, at 4 should be 4 min.

1 minute per age of child, although I would like it to be 1 minute per age of my life sometimes! haha Just kidding. Kind of. Good luck!

One minute per year old, so in your case four minutes

Hi K.,
as a general rule, a child responds wll and is capable of staying in time out 1 min per year of age. So, if your grandbaby is 4, he/she could sit in time out for 4 minutes. I would also suggest designating a chair or stool as the time out area vs standing.
S.

they say that the punishment in timeout should be one minute per age, and when they get out you talk to them about what they did wrong and then have them apologize. good luck

What I was told and heard was that it's a minute for each year of their age. Example-4 yrs old would be 4 minutes. And no longer because they are not going to be able to be still that long. Or maybe go with the old-3 minutes routine everytime. Whatever works. God Bless.

I agree with the one minute per year of age, but also, 1) If they come out or pitch a fit, the time starts over (or does not start until they settle down.) Otherwise it isn't time out, it is scream out, and that's not what we want. >^.^<