How Should I Do Time Outs?

I am a pre-k teacher that is certified in early childhood education. Timeout should be looked at as a time to calm down and regain self control. I call mine "The Chill Hill" and this is a place where they can go because I put them there or it can be voluntary. Studies show that you should put a child in time out 1 minute for each year they are old. For example, 2 yr. old should be in timeout no more thatn 2 min. There are 2 resources that you could look at to give you more information that I highly reccomend. The first is Postitive Discipline for the Age 0-3 and one for preschoolers as they get older. The other is Conscious Discipline, this teaches you to teach your child how to handle difficult situations. You can find out information about both online. Hope this helps!

Hi there J.,

Ah yes, time outs. I have three kids and I watch my niece and nephews as well. Our house is a zoo most times and we are not a stranger to time outs. :)

I count to three only if I've called them and they are refusing to come to me or something like that. If I get to three and they still refuse to come, it's time out.

When they misbehave, I give them one warning. I bend down to their level make sure they are looking me in the eye and say, "Lily, don't jump on the couch anymore. You could fall down and get hurt. If you jump on the couch again, you will have a time out." Then if she does it again, I give her a time out.

Time out is either spent sitting on the couch (as long as there is nothing on tv) or in the bed with no binkys. I usually give 1 minute per year of age. I do time it.

At the end of their time out I go to them. I'm not angry, I act more concerned. I make sure again that they are looking me in the eye. I ask them why they got a time out. I ask them to tell me what they did wrong. Then I explain again why it isn't ok to jump on the couch and say something like, "I don't want you getting hurt because I love you." I ask them not to do it again. I give a hug and a kiss. It's over.

Wow, that was a lot to type out! I didn't realize it was such a lengthy process! Hee hee!

Good luck to you!

C.
www.enhanceyourwayoflife.com

I use time outs with my daughters and it works very well. I don't have a designated spot per se. I point to where time out is. We've used it in stores.... everywhere. It works best to give a warning and explain that if a particular behavior continues he will be in time out. For some things I told my daughters that when that behavior occurred it would be an immediate time out with no warnings - e.g. hitting someone. I explained it once in a warning and from then on there were no warnings for that subject. I've found that 1-2-3 works well, too. You have to tell the child when they are at each number. If they are involved in activity they will not be counting and time out will come as a shock and surprise and lose its effectiveness. Whatever method(s) you use, consistency is the most important factor. When a child is corrected, remind him of what the behavior is and that it is unacceptable. If you see the behavior, correct it everytime, in the same manner.

Good Luck.

Hi J.,
I think the general rule of thumb is 1 minute time out for each year of age. My son is 2 so he stays in the chair for 2 minutes, after the time is up, I make him say sorry for whatever it is he has done and give him a hug.
I usually put him in the chair, and even though I have a cute timer, I have not gotten organized enough to use it!
Our rule is, hitting, biting, or kicking someone (including a pet) is an automatic time out...no counting, no warnings. Other stuff I may give him a warning or 2 and if it continues he goes to time out. I have really only had to use the chair about 4 or 5 times so far.

1 minute for thier age is a pretty basic rule of thumb for the time limit. A timer is a good idea but I never used one because I wanted my daughter to respond to me as opposed to a bell. As far as how to get them into time out you first need to have a designated time out place at home (a small chair in an out of the way corner or hallway, where you can still see him, should be fine) I usually only give one warning but my daughter is almost 4...when she was smaller I would give 2 or 3 warnings but it all depends on what he does wrong and if he already knows it was wrong or not. The BIG key is consistancy...if you put him in time out for something once make sure you do it every time...he needs to know that what he is doing ALWAYS has a consequence and not just when mommy feels like it. Time outs work really well for my daughter and it helps a lot that her daycare uses them too...it sort of reenforces what I do at home. Just remember that when they are little try not to treat "time outs" as a punishment as much as a moment to regroup and calm down. Good luck!

Well I have talked with my children's doctors and they say that you put a child into the corner or naughty spot (like a chair, rug, exam.) for 1 min per age. I use the count to three, well I warn them twice and on the third time I put them in there naughty spot. They say when you put them there, you need to explain to them why they are being put there, and tell them that they need to think about what they did and then when their time is up, I have them tell me what they did wrong and tell me sorry. Or if it was someone else that they hurt, I will have them go and hug that person, (no strangers)and tell them sorry. But they say that the golden rule is that even if they just got out of the naughty spot, and they repeat that behavior or do something else, put them right back in after you count to three or two, I hope this helps.

For our time out we do a minute for each year of age. Caleb is four so he gets four minutes. Zachary is one, so he gets one minute. With Zachy we pick him up and take him to the rocking chair in his room. Caleb will go by himself. He has a blue recliner in his room. I usually make sure they have thier blankies with them, but my husband doesn't. We do count to three. I hope this helps.

Hi J.

We bought our son a cetain chair and when it is time for a time out, we just tell him time out and he get in his chair I watch alot of super nanny and nanny 911 and they say when you put a child in time out that it should be 1 minute for each year of there age my son is 19 months we make him sit for 1 min. 35 sec. then when his time is up I or one of us explain to him what he did wrong and then he goes and plays. I do give him 3 warnings before he gets time outs. Hope this helps.

They say to put them in a center area like the living room, where people are. If my child is acting up, I'll usually tell her if she doesn't stop (yelling for example) after I count to 3, she's going to time out. Then I give her to the count of 3, and either take her to the chair in the living room to sit in or just say, "go to time out right now" and sometimes she'll go herself. They say they should be in time out for example 1 minute if they're 1, 2 min. if they're 2, etc. I watch the clock, I think I started out counting so she'd understand, they say, "okay, you can get out of time out now" and explain to her why she went and try to talk about it. If it's something sudden, (like hit somebody) i tell her in a strict tone to go to time out right now, we don't hit. and don't give her the 3 second warning. Good luck. I remember with my son, who is now 61/2, time out worked for a while, then when they didn't affect him, we had to do little spanks, then take a toy away, etc, but at different stages, different things worked for him.