Nearing End of Pregnancy? Midwives Plz Answer?

AFTER READING YOUR SO WHAT HAPPENED: I don't know why you asked your question in the first place. Also, 9 pounds IS a big baby.

If your last delivery was a C - section, I would not take the chance of not being IN a HOSPITAL when it's time. Is your midwife licensed to attend in a hospital? If not, please go to the hospital anyway. Your life and the life of your baby are too important to take any risks.

Blessings....

17 moms found this helpful

You need to be in hospital to attempt a vaginal delivery now. It's crazy and irresponsible to even consider risking your baby that way to do at home. A few years back a lady in our town tried it in the hospital, almost died, lost her baby and had to have an emergency hysterectomy. Now she doesn't have her child and she can't have another baby.

With your strong views on breast feeding it's obvious you want and desire to have things natural in your life. But your child should come first period.

I agree with the poster below. 9 pounds is a big baby. As far as how you feel and dilation etc.. There really are no markers you can be sure of. I was dilated to a 4 and effaced 90% 6 weeks early. A week later I was effaced 100%. With my last baby I was dilated to a 5 before I was even feeling contractions. Bloody show can happen weeks before. The only sure sign is pain that takes all breath away, comes predictably, and with leaking or broken water. But even that is no guarantee you are done yet. Sometimes people go days after water breaking or leaking or even weeks depending on the circumstances which of course is dangerous.

12 moms found this helpful

You are probably just carrying a big baby, and while I understand your concerns I wouldn't be willing to change the due date. I knew the exact weekend of conception for my one week old baby. The initial ultrasound gave us a due date of July 4. Every ultrasound thereafter moved the due date up closer and closer. I was always measuring larger than most pregnancies, but since I knew when the baby was conceived (and the initial ultrasound confirmed), I knew what week I was. Every week counts, and as you probably know the 38th week is when the suck, swallow, breathe reflex really gets perfected. Your body will go into labor when it's time, but I wouldn't change the due date.

By the way, I ended up with a 10 lb 7 oz baby at 39 weeks. If your baby really is measuring larger, there are possible complications with delivering a larger baby. Just be careful with your choices and I hope for a safe delivery for you and baby.

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Is it possible for you to find a new midwife? I know that's not what you want, but you don't want to take a chance of going this alone. Do you have any nurse friends who are also midwives? What about someone your nursing hospital works with? If you absolutely are determined not to go to a hospital at first, I would start looking now for a professional willing to assist you. Have you asked them to change your EDD on the stipulation you will go to the hospital at the first sign of things not going 100% according to their liking? Maybe then they will give you a chance to labor. Also keep in mind, you may not go early. I could barely walk the last month of my pregnancy I was carrrying so low. I couldn't go anywhere without someone commenting "any day now" and it was 4 long weeks later and only 1 week before my due date. Hang in there, mama, I'm betting with your determination you will figure this out.

3 moms found this helpful

Hi Pamela
First I will say that I commend you for having a home birth. I would love one but my hubby refuses to go there. Since it is his child too then I have to take his views into consideration.
I am 24 weeks weeks pregnant with my second child and had a completely natural (no pain relief ) first birth so I can give you my experience of that.
Before I go into my labour I am concerned for you in the sense that you say you will deliver this baby with or without the assistance of a midwife. Who will help you if the midwife is not there? Who will do the practical things like taking the baby out?. Do you think your husband is enough.As I said I think it is great that you are having a home birth but you absolutely need a midwife with you. It is an absolute disgrace that your state has such rigid laws about delivery dates etc.
Some tips for natural births are the start of labour feels like bad period pain and an intense nesting feeling,you will up the ante in cleaning.
I alternated between resting and walking as much as possible in the early stages. Walking speeds up the process. My waters broke and I went and had a bowel movement and shower at this stage.(my labour lasted 36 hrs) The first 30-32 hrs are totally managable, try not to lie too much on your back,use a yoga ball,walk around or I found crawling around on all fours helped. Breathe through contractions. Left your mind go, between 7-10cm dilation is intense,let your mind go and don't stay in the pain. I went back to my childhood. If you are going to panic you will most likely do now. So remember my words, this will pass, you will be in control again once you dilate another 3 cm. You body will tell you when it is time to push. It is a very clear feeling and you will be in control again. Bring your mind back. Believe me the pushing is the easiest part of the labour as you are in control again. I found pushing on all fours wasn't working for me so I turned around and put one foot on my hubbys stomach and one on the midwife. If you are at home you could lie on the ground with a duvet under you and put both feet on a wall. As you know you will feel pressure in both your anus and vagina. Push from your anus. I did and had no stitches. Push the baby out.
The fab thing about having a natural birth is the feeling after. You will have loads of energy and feel great . I was walking around and into a shower 15 mins after my son was born.
Wishing you all the strength and hope all goes well.
B. k

3 moms found this helpful

Im not a midwife but I feel your pain. I have felt like this with all 3 babies and never went a second early. I was literally miserable. I always measured big, and my docs never changed my due date. They always went with the first ultrasound. I am 5'3 and orginally 115 lbs. My son was 9 lbs and my last baby (girl) was 8 lbs 11 oz. I seriously felt like I was going to die. I had all the things you describe with months to go. It just sounds like your going to have a big baby. I wouldnt change your due date, especially if your having a boy, their lungs take longer to develope, but you probably already know that. :)

3 moms found this helpful

I'm not a mid-wife - however, you can tell by your dialation as well as if you are effaced...

with my daughter - it just happened - i was young too - 20 so i didn't know what to expect...

with my boys - I felt the difference...my oldest son was ALWAYS in presentation position and I ALWAYS felt "ready to push"...with my second son - my water had been broken for a week (today would've been his birthday if we had gone to the hospital!!!) but we all thought it was just urine since I was 4 weeks out....

You need to go with your gut. You know what you are feeling...doesn't matter what the fundal measurements are - your body is telling you and your baby is telling you....follow your gut.

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At least for me everything you said was more an issue of being very pregnant. With all my kids I had appointments a couple days before I had them, there was nothing visual that would have predicted I would have them a couple days later. With my younger two my water broke, pretty good indicator, ya know. With the older two it was regular contractions that didn't go away with drinking lots of water.

Not sure if this will help you one bit since all of us are different.

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Sounds like you need a different more understanding midwife. How dare she not take your word or the OBs word for how far along you are.
I am worried tho, I also feel you are taking a huge risk with attempting a VBAC at home with such a large baby. I do hope whoever is with you will recognize the signs, if there are any, if something goes wrong and you are close enough to a medical facility to save your life. Is there a place you can go to that allows midwives and VBACs? I know where I live its nearly impossible to find a place that takes on a mom who has such strong feelings as you do. I wish you all the best and a happy healthy baby too.

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Honestly I would go with what your midwives are saying. I was under the impression when I was pregnant that only the first ultrasound is really accurate at predicting due date. Although my due date only changed 2 days anyway. I think once you get farther along there are more variables and it means that ultrasound dating is not as reliable. I think we forget that when we choose to get pregnant we will be miserable somewhat and that is what we signed up for. I am totally for natural birth and I had my son at a free standing birth center. However midwives have these rules because it is so hard for them to practice medicine. I'm sorry that you feel miserable. but tough it out and you may go longer than you think.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi Raven,

Congrats on your nearing baby day! When I was getting ready for labor, a day or so before--I had an upset tummy, diarrhea and nausea. The next day my contractions picked up and I walked for hours---walking helps as well as pelvic exercises, squats etc. A birthing ball helps alot to open up the pelvis---I got a sudden urge to clean the house from top to bottom---like all hands and knees scrubbing, that helped me dialate another 2cm. By the time I was in the hospital I went from 4cm 100% effaced to 10 in about 4 hours. It was fast and furious! Listen to your body and find a doctor you do like for a backup just in case you do have to have a hospital birth. Do what is best for your baby. GL~

M

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Hmmm . . .is it to late to find a new midwife? Have you sat your current midwife down and said "hey look. Here is the deal." I think if you have a very open and honest communication, and tell her no hospital, than she might do it. If not, find someone who respects your wishes.
I agree with Cindy, why is she so pushy for a hospital delivery. To me it doesn't sound like she is so confident in her skills. Just from that fact alone, I would be getting someone new.

2 moms found this helpful

I agree with Molly. The last month of pregnancy is absolutely miserable for most women, and there is no way to know when you are going to go into labor.

I had all three of my children with no epidural. My first was born at a hospital with an alternative birthing center. I didn't have any signs that labor was imminent, but my water broke at 38 1/2 weeks. I had a relatively easy labor.

With my second baby, I was so absolutely miserable and anxious that I asked to be induced at 39 weeks. It was a painful delivery due to the pitocin, but I still delivered fairly quickly at the hospital. (No midwives, but the nurses were great!)

With my third baby, I was even more miserable than the first two, and I asked to be induced again. Coincidentally, I went into labor on the same day I was going to be induced. Another good delivery at the hospital with no pitocin or epidural. The nurses were busy with other patients, so I pretty much labored by myself while my husband watched TV ;-) This baby was 9 lbs 6 oz, and I am quite the petite flower. If we had set the due date based on size alone, he would have been born a month earlier.

My point is that you can still have a good delivery at a hospital. Just tell your nurses your wishes, and they will do their best to honor them. They really are on your side. Just because you have all the signs that you are about to go into labor doesn't mean that you will actually go into labor any time soon.

Hopefully, you won't go into labor before the 20th. If you do, you can still deliver at a hospital with a good likelihood of a vaginal birth. Just hang in there. Most women (including me) are as miserable as you during that last month. It really is enough to drive you crazy. Good luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful

I've had three babies and I could not tell one way or the other as to when labor would begin. My first two were within a day of the edd and my last was 4 days "late". At 10:30 am on the day my son was born I was still wondering when the heck things would get started. He was born by 4:30 that afternoon.
I would just not start trying to bring on labor in any way until you are in the clear for midwifery help. I, like you, did hbac's and I am a firm believer in midwifery care and home birth. However, keep in mind what Henci Goer says about birth. Each one is different and will not be controlled. You must be okay with doing whatever needs to be done for you and your baby's health. Put everything in God's hands and it will work out exactly as it should.
God Bless you and your family.

1 mom found this helpful

if you do have a very large baby it can be so dangerous to try to do an unassisted birth, for you and the baby both. also, if you are measuring that big i would think either, A- HUGE BABY, B- wrong EDD, or C- unexpected twins.....go to the ER and just have them check you to see what they say and then go from their...what does the baby's father think?

My husband as well!!!! He and his family are from ROMANIA, they moved here to the states when my husband was just a boy, 3 years old. My F-I-L wasnt allowed in the hospital the entire time his 3 children were born, no visitors at all, you had to go it alone.

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I don't understand a midwife who won't assist in delivering a baby pre-term, especially only a week. I didn't use a midwife, but from talking to friends who have and reading up on it, midwives should be prepared for and able to deliver a premature baby, full term baby, and a late baby.

If you go into labor a week before the due date the midwife will not assist, but what if you go into labor 3 days before the due date? Is that still early and would you be sent to a hospital? And what if you deliver well past your due date like I did (I went 3 weeks past my due date)? Would the midwife send you to the hospital for that too?

Isn't part of the point of delivering at home so that nature can determine when the baby is ready to be born and you have more control over what happens in labor and delivery? It sounds like your midwife doesn't believe that and is not very tolerant or understanding.

I think it is late to try to find a new midwife, but I would certainly try. When you talk to another midwife explain that you will deliver at home unassisted if that is what you must do because you refuse to go to a hospital and tell them why.

I wish you all the best.

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Pamela, I understand your strong feelings about hospital birth but this is a VBAC. VBAC'ing a large baby without an attendant does not sound smart to me. Your risks are not the same as a woman giving birth for the first time, or giving birth after previously having a normal vaginal delivery. I realize you have researched this to death but I think your previous traumatic experience at the hospital might be clouding your decision making. Is it too late for you to hire a doula? A doula might be able to help advocate for vaginal delivery after you are admitted to the hospital (if you end up going). Just a thought. I'll keep my fingers crossed for your pregnancy to last a bit longer so that this will not be an issue.

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I would look around for anther mid wife, although I felt just the way you discribed from 37 weeks on, and did not go in to labor until 42 weeks, there really is just no way to know.

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Can't do much about it now but would suggest if it is this much of a to-do for you...you might want to look into moving to a dif state if you have more children. You can stress and fuss over it as much as you want but it does not sound like it will get you anywhere. And you might not actually run into any issue either so just go with the flow. One bad experience doesn't mean you will have another.

The earlier the ultrasound the more accurate at estimating the due date. I would go with that ultrasound. And most midwives I know will go with the first ultrasound date if an ultrasound is done. According to LMP when is your due date?

Since your first was an induction before your "due date" then you really don't know what your natural pattern is. Even though you are having symptoms of being towards the end of pregnancy I would not count on that 100%. You could have these signs for another month. I did with all three of my pregnancies. Your body is getting ready and that takes time. With my last pregnancy for 4 weeks every night I would tell my husband I though that would be the night. I went past my "due date."

Personally if I was in your situation I would trust my gut instinct and if that is telling you to stay at home and you deliver on July 19th then stay at home. If at anytime during your labor you start to feel uneasy you can always go to the hospital. I have known women that are going for a VBAC and labor most of the time at home and in the hospital parking lot so they walk through the hospital doors pushing. This is the problem when Government gets involved in birth but that is a whole other can of worms.

I doubt you will have your baby before 37 weeks. I have only seen it happen a couple of times in homebirth and both times the baby was fine. And I don't think you will go past 42 weeks.

Just keep trusting in your body and your baby. They know what to do. Try to relax as much you can.

Edit- And to the posters that believe the hospital is safer that just is not true. More women die in the hospital simply because of medical mistakes than they do at home. You just don't hear about it because risk management at the hospital covers it up. If they didn't the media would have a field day and hospitals are big business. They can't afford bad press because their top money maker is the c-section.