My Preschooler's "Girlfriend" Is Becoming a Problem

He needs to be told firmly and unequivocally that kissing is not allowed in school. I'm not sure he should be giving hugs, frankly - so I'm not sure you should encourage or allow that. He needs to follow the rule that we keep our hands to ourselves. That's one of the things that school is supposed to teach.

I think the teacher may need to separate him from the group when he crosses the boundary, and the bus driver needs to separate kids who are doing this, requiring them to sit in separate seats and not in front of/behind each other. They need to sit in their seats and not be jumping up either. Kissing on the bus is a safety issue - the bus hits a bump and some kid's head breaks another kid's tooth or nose, and then where are we?

I get that they are all copying each other and he's not the only one doing it, but they all need to stop. I would set aside school clothes that are appropriate for outdoor play and comfort and sitting on the floor, and not have him use his good clothes. You can also start the conversation that we don't dress up for our friends - that our friends judge us by our behavior and how we show respect for them and their bodies. You have to put that in age-appropriate vocabulary, but that's the message. At this age, people have FRIENDS, not girlfriends, period. The best way to make her dislike him is for him to force himself on her - that's a message he will need all through his school life including high school and college (and his professional life as well) - so we need to stop excusing our kids for this behavior and try to put it in no-nonsense terms they can understand.

Just say that even best friends aren't friends all the time.
He needs to play with more than just one person and he needs to not get angry if his friends play with other friends.
He also needs to know that everybody needs to keep their hands, feet, bodies, and lips to themselves.
Ask about other kids in his class - get him to think about other people.

Oh this reminds me of Charles!
Charles was a little boy in my Kindergarten class. We called him "kissing Charles" because he loved the girls and wanted to kiss many of us and made a game of chasing us around. Of course he was sweet and harmless and we giggled at first but yes, after he kept doing it it got quite annoying, and we ended up "telling" on him. Finally he stopped because he got into trouble for it one too many times I guess. It's funny, I remember he liked to dress up too, he always wore collared tucked in shirts and sometimes even a bow tie!
I think you just stay on top of it with the teacher, and firmly but gently remind him that kissing is ONLY allowed within the family, it's simply NOT allowed at school. I'm sure he'll get through this phase quickly, by next school year he'll probably want nothing to do with girls at all, never mind having a "girlfriend."

Well - I'm going to just speak from experience. I think he might view this girl as his best friend and perhaps the attention she gave another boy made him a bit jealous, not so much in terms of obsession - as any child that age sharing a friend.

My son was like this with a girl in Kindergarten. He thought of her as his best friend, she would give him notes saying Will you marry me? That I'd find in his school bag. They were like that first year, then they went to different classes in grade one. My son went on to still have girl friends - more in a group - in grade 1. By grade 2, he was more into boys - still had girl friends though.

That age, 5, is big on the kissing stuff. At our school if you talk to the Kindergarten teachers, they will tell you that by January latest of every year, there will be kissing in each class.

So it's not just your child.

I think I'd just explain that kissing isn't allowed at school and maybe encourage him to be friendly with other kids too and ask the teacher to maybe help him in that. Good luck :)

This doesn't need to be a big sit-down conversation. You let him know that some behaviors (high fives) are appropriate for conveying excitement and affection at school and that kissing is for family only. Period. That just like when someone says 'stop' because they don't like what you might be doing, "no" means the same thing. These girls do not want to be kissed and it's not appropriate at school so no more.

The 'girlfriend' (I get so icked out about adult language around childrens' behavior like this) is not the problem. The problem is that you son won't leave her alone. Teach him about what friends/attention looks like and what it doesn't. I'd also say, when the girlfriend thing comes up, it's okay to not get sucked into validating any feelings during those conversations.

I am a preschool teacher. I have seen this before. You will just have to talk to your son, downplay everything and slow this process down,. let him know what is appropriate and what is not. Some little boys are driven rather early to little girls, and though natural, it gets in the way of progress in class. The little girls usually like it for a second, any given day, but the attention quickly becomes annoying to them. They (girls) by nature are driven in their little morning work, the chattiness and such distracts them from that. Let your son know to leave his little friend alone until playtime, when he can talk to her only without physical contact.

The first problem is preschoolers are WAY too young to be on a bus without supervision. Can you drive him for the rest of the year?

There is a boy in my son's first grade class who is obsessed with one of the girl's. The girl's parents have asked for them to be separated in the classroom and during lunch. I work in the lunch room and volunteer in the library. He still tries to get close to her every day. He will start off sitting by others in the library and gradually inches his way over to her. He'll sit across from her in the cafeteria and argue with me that it's OK because he's not next to her. It's a real problem. He was like this with a different girl last year, and she left the school. Sadly, it seems like he is going to grow up to be a stalker. You don't want this to be your son. Tell him that he needs to be friends with lots of people and not just this girl. Make a reward chart for him and follow up with the teacher. When he goes a whole day without constantly trying to be with this this girl, let him pick a prize. If he can go a whole week, let him pick a bigger prize. Just make sure he's not transferring his affections on to another girl.

Good luck!