My Husbands Kids Are Really Getting to Me

Hello there,

Not sure how to start this email but i do want to let you know this, it will all come in time (them liking you and wanting to be around you).
Now the reason that I say this is, I am 30 years old and my dad remarried a (now wonderful woman) that is 6 years older than me. I love her to death and I would do anything for her, but at first it was hard for me to come to the realization that she made my dad happy. It took me a long time to understand that she does not mean me any harm (or my kids). I now have a half sister that is 5 years old and its great.
But just know that in due time they will come around (we always do) I hope that this helps you! Smile because it will get better.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this but I promise it will get better. My parents got divorced when I was 13. My mom remarried when I was 15 and my dad remarried just this year. With my mom's husband I resented him right away. Most people think this resentment comes from wanting your parents back together... but that was not the case with me. I just resented him because I was a teenager and didn't want him to marry my mom, basically no real reason. However now almost 7 years later I think he is a great guy and he treats my mom really well. As for my dad I accepted his wife a lot easier simply because I was older.
My advice would be to hang in there and try to show the kids that your dad loves you and you love him (with out being too mushy in front of them). Also try to encourage them to have a relationship with their new sister. Your husband also needs to sit down and talk to them. He needs to find out where their resentment is coming from... sometimes it's the mom feeding it, sometimes it's the fact they don't get to see him enough, etc. He needs to try to "be on their side" yet still show them that he is happy with you and this is the way things are going to be from now on.
Hang in there... this problem gets fixed with time and also with effort on your part and your husbands.

I totally agree with Alyssa. It sounds like Daddy needs to put his foot down and perhaps crack the whip alittle. These are not little children you're talking about, they're young adults and therefore can be sat down and spoken to (by their dad)about their actions and how they're making you feel. If you've been with this man long enough to have a child by him then time is long overdue for his older children to grow up and stop showing their asses. You should never be disrespected in your own home not by anyone and this is totally unacceptable!!! (Let them know it.) It's all about tough love. Regardless, let them know that you're here to stay.

Hi there sweetie. I am just wondering what Dad does about them disrespecting you? It sounds like they need a little foot up butt because you should not have to tolerate disrespect in your house. I understand the kids being upset about the age difference, but they should also understand that you have a special place in their Dad's heart, and that should mean something. Good luck.

Wow, that is a tough one. My parents divorced when I was 7, it is a very hard thing to see your parent involved with someone else, but at some point you need to grow up and accept it. They are old enough to treat you with respect and should be ashamed for the way they are acting. Maybe you all could try family counceling. I would not take this personally, (although I am sure that is impossible), sounds like they would have treated any woman he was with this way.
I wish you the best of luck.