February 05, 2011,
A.C. asks from Johnson City, TN on November 19, 2010
My Husband Wants to Name the Baby After him,I Don't,what Can We Do?
My husband insists that we name the baby after him if it is a boy.He himself is a junior,named after his father.I really,really dislike the idea of naming the baby entirely after him.I am willing to compromise in many ways.I have even suggested a second middle name that we could agree on so I could at least have something to call the baby and he could have his own name to go by.My husband refuses any sort of compromise and insists the baby has to be named exactly after him,no ifs ands or buts about it.I think it's very unfair but I'm not sure what I can do to change his mind.I've told him how I feel and what the baby name books say about it,which isn't very good for the most part,but nothing seems to work.If it is a boy I'm afraid I will just feel anxious and frustrated instead of being as happy as I should be,of course I'll be thrilled no matter what it is but you know what I mean,because I know he won't compromise on the name.Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to try and convince him to comrpromise with me??
So What Happened?™
After reading all of the responses,we decided that since we will name the boy after him we will probably call our son Trey or Tripp as a nickname.Thanks for the great idea,I'd never thought of either of them!! My parents like Tripp but I think we like Trey,so who knows,but at least we both agree on something to call him if it is a boy! Lol = )
K.S. answers from Raleigh on November 20, 2010
Well, I guess this is something to put on the questionaire when you are dating. Does he mind if the next, a girl, is named after you?
This seems to be a real biggy with men, they seem so proud. If you want peace, I guess it will have to be Edgar Alvin. But to you, he could be Chip, or any name you want. I am glad I didn' t have this problem. Maybe a counseling session?
S.B. answers from Dallas on November 20, 2010
We have friends that named their son Name Name III to honor dad and grandpa. However, they called him Trey. (for three) That seemed to work out well.
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S.P. answers from Nashville on November 20, 2010
We went through this with my son. Beforehand, my husband wasn't adament about it - we talked it through and he wanted to, I didn't, so we didn't do it. Two weeks after my son was born my husband was seriously ill because we didn't name him after him. I ended up caving in and we changed my sons (huge legal hassle) name to have the same first name but different middle name and we call him by his middle name. I really wish we had gone ahead and just named him completely after his dad. It really is an honor and something that not everyone has to carry with them through life. It would've been the best gift ever that I could've given my husband. To men - their name and reputation are EVERYTHING!
P.G. answers from Dallas on November 20, 2010
Please don't be upset with my answer, but I'm going to play devils advocate and say let your husband have the name. I'm not sure I understand why you feel like you don't have any input - you are CARRYING the baby for 9 months and will be the primary caregiver, at least in the beginning, especially if you're breastfeeding. You immediately have a connection that your husband can't experience because of biology. I don't understand how you can consider a name "too intimate" in comparison with the intimacy you are sharing and will share with your child. It almost sounds like you're jealous of the name connection thing - maybe digging deeper into these feelings to find out where they're coming from will help you feel better about the name.
The name is a family legacy that means something to him. Perhaps BECAUSE he doesn't have a great relationship with his dad, the legacy means even more.
Honestly, baby name books mean nothing - they're to help you when you get stuck. If I liked a name a lot, I wouldn't care what the name book said it meant. I googled the names and found that Francisco means "free man", also in honor of St Francis of Assisi (one of my favorite saints). Eduardo means "wealthy guard" (Edward).
Our son's name was my entirely my husbands choice - he's named after a childhood friend who passed away, and a very special and influential teacher he had as a child. My husband chosing the name took nothing away from me at all. If we had a daugher, the name was something I had totally chosen - a name to honor someone I cared about, first name for a great friend, middle name was just a pretty name I liked that turned out to be a family name.
Tthe nickname thing can go in any direction. We don't really have a nickname for our son yet and he's 3.5. Sometimes I call him Boo-boo. :) It's entirely possible you might come up with a nickname that has NOTHING to do with his actual name - it may be based on his personality, his favorite thing or food.
4 moms found this helpful
R.J. answers from Seattle on November 19, 2010
The III sounds super important to him.
I'm going to vote with letting him "have" this one in exchange for nickname rights.
Nicknames have a lot of options:
III = Trey, Trace, Trip
OR nicknames off of Fransisco Eduardo
This site says these are the common nicknames for Fr & Ed ((I suppose Fred IS another name option))
Francisco - Nicknames: Paco, Pancho
Eduardo - Nicknames: Lalo
I also rather like Edward & Ward & Cisco & Paco & Lalo & Rico & Risco & Risc
((Too bad your last name isn't an N name. Fen is one of my favorite names (short for Fenian cousin to Fin short for Finian)
Last name first, military style... including shortening it.
Pulling a rabbit out of a hat and using an entirely DIFFERENT name. I've known adult men named "Beaux" whose actual name was Christopher Jonathan, ANYONE with a Mc or Mac can have that as their nickname.
So Hubby may well "win" by getting the "legal" name... but for day in day out living... take the nickname rights.
3 moms found this helpful
B.C. answers from Norfolk on November 20, 2010
My husband wanted to name our son John. I was against it. My Grandfather was John. My Uncle is John. My cousin is John. My husbands Dad was John. My husband is John (though he always goes by his middle name). I felt we had more than enough Johns to go around. So I started looking at John derivatives. And we ended up naming our son Evan (and we kept my husbands middle name as middle name for our son). We really settled on it once we saw him. He looks like an Evan (though we don't know anyone else by that name) and we could tell no other name would fit as well.
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A.A. answers from Chicago on November 20, 2010
Sorry I didn't read the other responses or barely your whole story. Hubby is named for his father, I don't think you should be the one to break the tradition in my opinion. A name is just a name. I think it is more important to honor your dh and fil, then have your son sporting some trendy baby name. I don't think your husband is being inflexible--I think you are being a bit insensitive. You can always call the baby Frankie for Fransisco, but if I were you I would really just go with a jr. and respect your husband's tradition on this one. And I understand where you are coming from--I am preggo with #2 and if it is a boy, I am getting a son named for his father and grandfather--and I am not crazy about the name. But my husband would be really hurt if I didn't agree to it. Our daughter was named for my grandma that passed before she was born, and it was not either of our favorite names, but it honored my grandma and really pleased my grandpa that we remembered her that way.
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M.H. answers from Atlanta on November 19, 2010
No suggestions on how to compromise. It sounds like you have attempted it already. :) There are other things you can call a "third." My great nephew is Trey. I had a boss named Trip. My brother is a "third" and we call him by an abbreviation of his middle name. If you want to tell us your husband's name, maybe we ladies can help you find a name that will make YOU happy :D
God bless AND congratulations!
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K.P. answers from Memphis on November 20, 2010
Name this child "Junior" (call him Frank, Cisco, Eddie, F.E., or even Trey, Tres or Bubba or some other nickname that doesn't necessarily derive from the given name) and restore peace in your home! Then name the next child what you want to. Your husband sounds like a nice guy but this is really, really important to him. Give in and be sweet.
1 mom found this helpful
L.L. answers from Nashville on November 20, 2010
I didn't read all the answers so someone may have already suggested this. I have a friend that is a "3rd" which is what your son would be. His parents nicknamed him "Trey" which is a nickname for "3rd" and it fits him really well. That is an alternative.
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D.B. answers from Detroit on November 19, 2010
Maybe try using Sisco or Frankie as a nickname. Or Eddie. I'm lucky that my hubby has always hated his name and therefore didn't want either of our sons to be stuck with it (its Jeff, I'm not sure what he doesn't like about it). He did give both our sons his middle name as their middle name. A little unconventional, but I guess better than the alternative.
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