My 18 Month Old Has Stopped Sleeping Through the Night!

Updated on October 14, 2008
E.F. asks from Glens Falls, NY
11 answers

Recently my 18 month old son has begun to wake up at least once in the middle of the night. He seems to be wide awake but very needy. He has a lot of trouble falling back to sleep and can be up for 1-2 hours. I cannot let him cry it out as he shares a room with his big sister. I try to go in and soothe him, sometimes I even pick him up and rock him. The problem with that is that it can take well over a hour to get him back to sleep. He is very low on the weight chart and some times I believe he is hungry but giing him milk does not help him back to sleep. My husband and I are now both exhausted and frustrated as it took a very long time to get him to sleep through the night.

What can I do next?

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K.E.

answers from New York on

I always give my daughter on yobaby with dinner and she is asleep all night. They have a full tummy and the yobaby helps promote sleeping. But just don't put him down right away wait atleast 30 minutes or so.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

I am going through this with my 18 month old now too. I feel like it started about a month or two ago. Not only does he wake up around midnight and then again between 3-5 am, but he's been going to bed 1 - 2 hours later than normal too so I am getting SUPER frustrated. I need him to pick one or the other - go to bed late and sleep or go to bed on time and wake up. I am TIRED and the only time I really had to get anything done was when he went to bed. I work full time so I can't sleep when he naps, as I'm sure you can not either with a four year old. I felt like I was finally catching up on sleep (this is my only child) I don't really have advice - I've been trying to feed him more before bed b/c when he does wake his tummy is growing, make sure he's warm - its chilly now and he kicks the blankets off a lot, I change his diaper - it seem wetter and colder now and he's even pee'd through a few time. I'm going to move up to a new size at night again (we did that when he younger), maybe he'll be more comfortable and not wake up at all. He used to sleep solidly through the night. I think those might be the reasons he's waking...plus he is needy too when he wakes. At the 12:30 waking I can usually get him right back (usually he's just unable to find his pacifier - which I never thought he's still be using but HE SLEPT GOOD WITH IT so i was fine with it - although NOW I'm starting to rethink that reasoning!!!!) I bring him in bed with us if its after 4:30 am (I wake around 6:00 anyway) so I feel like its ok after a certain point. He's sleeps most of the night in his crib. Crying it out? I just can't do it - and he doesn't share a room. I've started to let him cry at bedtime but am not good with it. Sorry to not have advice but thought you'd like to know you aren't alone. If I come up with anything that seems to work though I'll let you know. GOOD LUCK! WE NEED IT! ; )

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M.B.

answers from New York on

Not sure about why the baby is waking up, but when my kids were sharing a room and the little one was waking up in the middle of the night and early in the morning, we started putting him in a pack & play in the living room right after we went to sleep and then letting him work through the problem for a week or so. After his sleep went back to normal, we started leaving him in the room with his sister. It helped get through the problem without creating another sleep problem for his sister.

Good luck!

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J.V.

answers from Syracuse on

My son did this...we finally figured out he had ear infections. He didn't have typical symptoms, just a runny nose. He finally got tubes and has slept through the night ever since (well, most of the time!)

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D.F.

answers from New York on

Hello E.!!! I understand what you are feeling. My son did the same thing. Would not sleep through the night until 18 months, then for 1-2 months did very well then he was up again. I heard when the children get to be btwn 2-3 they may have bad dreams that wake them up. Or maybe his crib is getting too small. When my son starts to wake up I whisper his favorite things like Ball Game, Thomas, Mama loves you, Play room, and he goes back to sleep, sometimes :) Hang in there. Try to take turns and sleep when you can! Best of Luck!

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C.B.

answers from New York on

Hi E.,

I went through this at 17 months. I mentioned to the pediatrician and she said that at around 9 and 18 months, babies sort of max out on seperation anxiety. I tried the method that had worked before, but it did not work at all. I brought him (back) to my bed and all was well. I needed to sleep. I also really enjoyed co sleeping. I could not do cry it out either, and even if you could, I don't think this would be the best time to try it. I feel that the increase seperation anxiety calls for extra emotional support. If you don't want to try co sleeping, maybe you could have baby in your room for a while. It might just be a time to provide the extra support, knowing that the phase will pass, and then you can more easily guide your toddler towards more independant sleep. I feel for you. I had the same experience. It took me a long time to get my son sleeping through the night in his crib. I had to try a bunch of stuff before I hit on the right thing. He too was small and I always worried that he was hungry, but feeding at night is a set up for more waking. After all that effort, he just started to wake again. I felt so burnt out, like I just couldn't go through it all again not knowing if it would even last.

I recenly weaned my son from co sleeping, and I found this womans methods very helpful.

http://www.sleeplady.com/

It's an emotionally responsive way to guide your child to sleep on their own. The No Cry Sleep Solution For Toddlers and Sleepless in America are also very good books. The latter is especially informative with regards to individual temperaments. I found this especially useful as my son has a bit of a difficult temperament (these kids commonly are not the best sleepers).

It's a hard time to go through, but knowing that it is a normal phase that will pass could help. Also knowing it is likely to be emotional could guide you in your approach. Extra emotional support now will mean a calmer more secure child in the long run.

All the best,
C.

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B.R.

answers from Albany on

I know I would be tired, too! Do you practice attachment parenting? If not, you might look into that as a solution for your baby's problems with sleeping and gaining weight. Dr. Bill Sears has written several classic parenting books that take the AP approach. Hevc re is his website http://www.askdrsears.com/default.asp. Below is an article about the basics of AP, which I copied from an article from his website. The more time your baby/toddler/child spends with you, the happier and more secure he will be, so he will sleep better, gain more weight, and basically thrive. Good luck

7 ATTACHMENT TOOLS: THE BABY B'S
1. Birth bonding
The way baby and parents get started with one another helps the early attachment unfold. The days and weeks after birth are a sensitive period in which mothers and babies are uniquely primed to want to be close to one another. A close attachment after birth and beyond allows the natural, biological attachment-promoting behaviors of the infant and the intuitive, biological, caregiving qualities of the mother to come together. Both members of this biological pair get off to the right start at a time when the infant is most needy and the mother is most ready to nurture (see Bonding)

"What if something happens to prevent our immediate bonding?" Sometimes medical complications keep you and your baby apart for a while, but then catch-up bonding is what happens, starting as soon as possible. When the concept of bonding was first delivered onto the parenting scene twenty years ago, some people got it out of balance. The concept of human bonding being an absolute "critical period" or a "now-or-never" relationship was never intended. Birth bonding is not like instant glue that cements the mother-child relationship together forever. Bonding is a series of steps in your lifelong growing together with your child. Immediate bonding simply gives the parent- infant relationship a headstart. (See "Birth Bonding")

2. Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is an exercise in babyreading. Breastfeeding helps you read your baby's cues, her body language, which is the first step in getting to know your baby. Breastfeeding gives baby and mother a smart start in life. Breastmilk contains unique brain-building nutrients that cannot be manufactured or bought. Breastfeeding promotes the right chemistry between mother and baby by stimulating your body to produce prolactin and oxytocin, hormones that give your mothering a boost.

3. Babywearing
A baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy caregiver. Carried babies fuss less and spend more time in the state of quiet alertness, the behavior state in which babies learn most about their environment. Babywearing improves the sensitivity of the parents. Because your baby is so close to you, you get to know baby better. Closeness promotes familiarity. (Click here for more information on Babywearing)

4. Bedding close to baby
Wherever all family members get the best night's sleep is the right arrangement for your individual family. Co-sleeping co-sleeping adds a nighttime touch that helps busy daytime parents reconnect with their infant at night. Since nighttime is scary time for little people, sleeping within close touching and nursing distance minimizes nighttime separation anxiety and helps baby learn that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a fearless state to remain in.

5. Belief in the language value of your baby's cry
A baby's cry is a signal designed for the survival of the baby and the development of the parents. Responding sensitively to your baby's cries builds trust. Babies trust that their caregivers will be responsive to their needs. Parents gradually learn to trust in their ability to appropriately meet their baby's needs. This raises the parent-child communication level up a notch. Tiny babies cry to communicate, not to manipulate. (See Crying and Cry it Out)

6. Beware of baby trainers
Attachment parenting teaches you how to be discerning of advice, especially those rigid and extreme parenting styles that teach you to watch a clock or a schedule instead of your baby; you know, the cry-it-out crowd. This "convenience" parenting is a short-term gain, but a long-term loss, and is not a wise investment. These more restrained styles of parenting create a distance between you and your baby and keep you from becoming an expert in your child.

7. Balance
In your zeal to give so much to your baby, it's easy to neglect the needs of yourself and your marriage. As you will learn the key to putting balance in your parenting is being appropriately responsive to your baby – knowing when to say "yes" and when to say "no," and having the wisdom to say "yes" to yourself when you need help.

MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT PARENTING
AP is a starter style. There may be medical or family circumstances why you are unable to practice all of these baby B's. Attachment parenting implies first opening your mind and heart to the individual needs of your baby, and eventually you will develop the wisdom on how to make on-the-spot decisions on what works best for both you and your baby. Do the best you can with the resources you have – that's all your child will ever expect of you. These baby B's help parents and baby get off to the right start. Use these as starter tips to work out your own parenting style – one that fits the individual needs of your child and your family. Attachment parenting helps you develop your own personal parenting style.

AP is an approach, rather than a strict set of rules. It's actually the style that many parents use instinctively. Parenting is too individual and baby too complex for there to be only one way. The important point is to get connected to your baby, and the baby B's of attachment parenting help. Once connected, stick with what is working and modify what is not. You will ultimately develop your own parenting style that helps parent and baby find a way to fit – the little word that so economically describes the relationship between parent and baby.

AP is responsive parenting. By becoming sensitive to the cues of your infant, you learn to read your baby's level of need. Because baby trusts that his needs will be met and his language listened to, the infant trusts in his ability to give cues. As a result, baby becomes a better cue-giver, parents become better cue-readers, and the whole parent-child communication network becomes easier.

AP is a tool. Tools are things you use to complete a job. The better the tools, the easier and the better you can do the job. Notice we use the term "tools" rather than "steps." With tools you can pick and choose which of those fit your personal parent-child relationship. Steps imply that you have to use all the steps to get the job done. Think of attachment parenting as connecting tools, interactions with your infant that help you and your child get connected. Once connected, the whole parent-child relationship (discipline, healthcare, and plain old having fun with your child) becomes more natural and enjoyable. Consider AP a discipline tool. The better you know your child, the more your child trusts you, and the more effective your discipline will be. You will find it easier to discipline your child and your child will be easier to discipline.

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A.P.

answers from New York on

can you put your 4 year old in a separate room to sleep for a few nights to let your 18 month old cry it out? I know that's hard, but when my son was 15 months old, that is all that worked (it was SUPER hard....he would sometimes cry for 2 hours before finally falling asleep...it took about three nights before he was done waking up. Even when it took that long to fall asleep, though, he still woke up good to go.) At this point, it may be just as much an issue of habit and knowing that mommy and daddy will come as anything, even if it started off for a reason such as nightmares or feeling stuffy from a cold. Good luck!

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S.T.

answers from Albany on

I have been dealing with that with my third son and he's a year old. Most of the time now, he's waking up once through the night, actually in the morning. I know that my other two boys did it if they didn't have a good heavy meal before going to bed, they'd be up hungry. I thought the same with this one, but I have found that he sleeps beter if he has protein, like chicken and good amount of it. But then my theory didn't prove me right all the time. I thought if he sleeps a good 2 or 3 hours of nap, he sleeps better through the night and only I haveto ignore him if he only slept 1/2 hour or an hour nap time and starts crying. Then in two or three minutes he back to sleep again. Then after about 2 or 3 hours of nap total whether he wakes up and go back down I will take him out of his bed. But last night that didn't prove me right. I put his bed near the tv in the living room and let him watch veggietales and he falls asleep bfore the movie is over. That is working, then my husband said maybe we need to let him stay up a little longer at night and perhaps he'll sleep longer. I have no idea what to think now. But, we are trying that tonight. Does your son eat a good heavy meal at night before going to bed? is he teething and if you want o try it out give him Teething Tablets which are healthier, they are homeopathic or even Teething Gel but I prefer the Tablets because I know they get it in them. It'll take the pain away and let them sleep peacefully. Or is he sleeping too early at night? Is he napping too much during the day or too late in the day? It'll eventually get better, I have three boys and they are all different and we haveto learn about them as they are learning about us too. I'll pray for Jesus's Wisdom for you if you ask Him to give you His Wisdom in what to do and let us know how it goes and any more questions let us know too. :)

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

E.,

Maybe try a last snack before bed - yogurt or cereal?

Does he (still) listen to music at night? We have a lot of trains where we are, all hours, and those can be very 'loud' or sudden when they go through - honking through intersections and all. White noise or music at night might be a good addition to your routine.

Good Luck,
M.

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M.B.

answers from New York on

Hi, I have a daughter the same age as your son and I went trow se same thing... I always give my baby the bottle, and she falls right back to sleep. See if it works with your son... But belive me its just a fase, it will go away, as fast as it came

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