My 12 Year Old Girl Wants to Be Homeschooled

Updated on March 09, 2011
C.J. asks from Indianapolis, IN
23 answers

My 12 year old girl really badly wants to be homeschooled i have never homeschooling befor and i don't no if i am i want her to have a lot of friends she is in 7th and she wants to start like right now shoulnd i let her and if so is there anyone who can tell me how and if there is a FREE online web site thanks alot

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So What Happened?

well we are still undecided about this ..i have talked with her ..most of the reason she wants this is because she misses alot of school due to being sick....she has very bad asthma and when she gets sick she usually is out aleast four days....if not more... and she is sooo behind ...the teachers give her a hard time about missing school even though they know she have very bad asthma and it makes her fill uncomfortable ..... im just not sure if this is the right thing or not im so confused.... and i dont have alot of money to spend on home schooling....

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K.K.

answers from Cincinnati on

Is this very sudden and abrupt or is it something she has always talked about? You should find out if there is something going on at school that is bothering her...

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S.W.

answers from Toledo on

I would have to question my child to find out the "emergency" of home schooling and I would also investigate just a little to see whats going on in her life. Thats quite a decision for a young girl and quite an adjustment for family and Mom. Good Luck

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C.G.

answers from Davenport on

It sounds like there is something going on at school that she wants out of. You need to find out why she is in such a hurry to get away from school. If there is something going on, it needs to be addressed. Otherwise, you are teaching her it is okay to run away from problems. I think pulling her out of school (unless it is an emergency) in the middle of the school year is a bad idea. If she is serious about homeschooling and so are you (a lot of work for both of you), then you now have plenty of time to get a lot of great information for starting next year. Good luck.

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I think the more important question is what's going on at school that's making her want to not go? It can't be normal for a 7th grader to want to leave her school and be away from her friends. Until you figure that out, I wouldn't worry about the other.

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A.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Check out K12 online, it is a great online public school option that wouldn't cost you anything and she would have a teacher aside from you. There are so many resources if you just google and homeschooling is such a great option for our children. Your daughter doesn't have to "lose" friends to come home and I would think it would be best for her to be at home with you and her family because your values are more important than what she is going to be getting in school. Schools aren't like they used to be while we were growing up. I absolutely love having all my kids at home (all 6 of them) and they are all very active in sports, boys scouts, music lessons and whatever else seems to interest them. Homeschooling is cool and is a lot of fun if you make it that way. You don't have to have skills to be able to homeschool but you do need to have a desire to be with your kids and be available to your kids all the time. They need what we can give them so much more than they need all the negative things that happen away from home.
I wish you luck with your search and your decision.

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L.J.

answers from Cincinnati on

Dear C.,
Get into a homeschool group in your area and they would probably let you borrow their books and even help you get started. L. J

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W.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Homeschooling can be great! My boys aged 14 & 13 (9th & 8th grades) have always been homeschooled. And it has been good for us. They attend a co-op group that meets every other week all day. They have done a variety of different classes over the years. This year they are doing geography, government, PE and they do Contenders of the Faith and Keepers at Home (kinda like Scouts for Christians). My boys are also in Scouts. Plus we are all very involved with our church. As for curriculum, there is MUCH out there. You can spend a little to very much each year. Here in Ohio there are a couple choices for Public School Homeschooling. I don't know if there is anything like that in IN or not. We did one of the Ohio ones when the boys were in the lower grades for a couple years. They supplied all the curriculum plus computer and internet. There was a teacher that called us on a regular basis and chatted with me and with each of the boys. They even did the standardized testing each year. We have chosen to go a different way the last few years and have gotten away from that program. We only spend a few hundred dollars each year on our curriculum.
The one on one time with your child is very rewarding. You do have to be some disciplined and stick to a routine. But one of the nice things is you can do it on your own schedule. I knew a family that had an older son that was able to work a job during the day and he did his schoolwork in the evenings. Whatever works! If I can be of any more help please let me know.
I do realize that homeschooling is not for everyone. But if you want to give it a try, go for it.

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M.F.

answers from Austin on

I know several people who were homeschooled and got a fantastic education and are really motivated and independent. BUT, I think it requires a HUGE commitment from the parents, and it's not something you can just jump into. I wouldn't worry about the social aspect, because there are other ways for her to make friends (many homeschoolers do activities together.) But I would worry about the educational aspect -- you have to think really hard about if you can give her as much or more than the school can, and how. It would be much more than just following the steps on a website. Good luck to both of you!

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S.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I started home schooling my son in 8th grade he loved it!!!! he did better at home it just depends how independent your child is being home schooled takes allot of work on both parent and child my son went from making d's and c's to straight A's I also put him in karate and that helped him concentrate on other things and be out social life, and self disipline. He loved it!! I also got him in the AFC program and he went to thailand as a forien exchange student and while he was over there he took Mau thai kick boxing and came back went to school to become a professional trainer, graduated from home school program, and worked, and went to Hawaii for 41/2 years professionally trained UFC fighters in his back yard, and is now back in Thailand and he is a English teacher So I think this should tell you what your child can do at home is she really wants to do something with her life. I think it was the best thing I could have ever done for my child hope this helps you

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R.

answers from Indianapolis on

Destanie, I began homeschooling my 7th grade daughter this year. She started school (has always attended public school) this year, then asked if she could be home schooled. We sat down and discussed all the pros and cons, and the real reason of why she wanted to be home schooled.
The truth was, she was bored at school, more mature than other girls her age and could not stand the drama. When I saw she was not happy, the decision was easy. She has friends from the sport she participates in. So socially she is fine. We have been homeschooling since October and I will tell you it was the best decision we have ever made. She says she will go back to high school, but for now, things are great.
I use a collection of different curriculums, I paid for edhelper.com and I access k12.com all the time.
It requires alot of planning and making sure your daughter stays on task. I also connected with a few home school families in my area, just to see how they keep track of everything.
I suggest doing research on others in your area who are homeschooling, check them out, then find your own style. Just make sure your daughter understands it is not easy and find out the real reasons behind her choice.
Goodluck

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M.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

http://www.home-school.com/groups/IN.html

Check out the site I posted above. It has many places you could call for resources. I am a homeschooling mom in Indiana, but not your area and not the same age group...I will tell you one thing though...I started homeschooling when I was 14 and it was the best thing that could have happened to me. It is a hard process though because you are basically teaching yourself and need modivation. If there isn't modivation on her part then it will be hard for you. However, I didn't have modivation while in public school but I found homeschooling so much more fun that I was highly modivated.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

There is an underlying issue here. Get her in counseling and find out what it is. Hiding from school at home with a mother who doesn't know anything about teaching could just create more problems.

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J.G.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I am having the same issue with my seven year old. looking forward to seeing others' posts.

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S.P.

answers from Merced on

If your daughter wants to be homeschooled, first make sure that you yourself are able to help her. This means:
1) Your own spelling and grammar are excellent--otherwise, you won't be a good example, let alone teach her proper English.
2) You have the patience and understanding to allow her to find her own way, in the event that you cannot provide her with all her needs.
3) You have a variety of adults in her life who are mature, responsible and set good examples (e.g. aren't criminals, don't use drugs, are literate and open-minded to different ways of learning, can stimulate her with different ideas.
4) Make sure you provide her with optimal resources;
5) Don't slack off by being lazy. Remember, you will have only yourself and your family to answer to if she is not properly educated.

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

I'm part of a group of Alumni at a University and we hand out 50-60 scholarships per year to deserving students. We read 100+ applications to winnow down to the deserving few. One of the applications this year broke my heart, it was from a kid who had completed their first year in college and was struggling.

"I am also thankful for where I am today; it has been a long journey for me. My parents decided to homeschool me and my siblings from preschool through high school. For that reason, the only education I received up until the age of 17 was basic math and writing skills. I was not required to balance fun and school, multiple classes, or even exams; I just read books all day. I started HS when I was 17, and since then, I have had to make continuous adjustments to my learning style because I'm not used to formal education."

There is another good book "20 chickens for a saddle" about a girl who was homeschooled in Africa by two very bright parents. Homeschooling is something people do because they want to educate their children in a particular way. I would spend some energy trying to figure out why DD 'all of a sudden' wants to be homeschooled. Then think long and hard about whether this will work for you AND for her. GL in your decision.

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

Hi Destanie, I just wanted to acknowledge what an arrogant and plain mean remark that was posted before mine. Talk to your daughter and find out what is making her feel this way. It could be she is bored and wants more of a challenge or maybe she is having some sort of social problems. Unfortunately kids can be bullies and try to make themselves feel better by putting other people down, looks like we may have a few of them even here on our Mama's website.

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A.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Where do you think she'll get the better education? First and foremost, as her mother, you have an obligation to provide her with the best education available. Home schooling is a fantastic choice for some people, but we need to know our limitations and make decisions accordingly. You may be better off finding out why she's in such a hurry to leave school and help her deal with her problems, not run from them. If it's class work, get her a tutor, talk with her teachers, whatever. If it's other kids, discuss it with her, the school counselor, etc. No matter what she tells you or doesn’t tell you, talk to her teachers to see if they notice any changes in her behavior or class work, then help her to deal with it. It'll make her a stronger and more responsible person. We all would like for our children to be happy, but what will be the best decision for her in the long run?

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K.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Lots of info on here already, but I will give you my input as well. I have homeschooled my two daughters for 9 years. My oldest left public school after 3rd grade and my youngest has never gone to public school (she's 13). As far as the junior high years, it was much easier for my girls to adjust to the changes going on with them by not having a school audience to deal with. I have had a lot of kids actually ask me about getting their parents to homeschool them.

A few misconceptions that people have about homeschooling is that we are against the public system. Homeschooling is simply a different option much like private or charter schools. There is much more freedom with not only the cirricullum, but also the teaching and learning styles. You'll learn what works best for you daughter and you can do whatever is best for your whole family.

Socially, homeschooling kids vary as much as those in public schools. If she's shy, she may not have as many friends, but if she's outgoing, she won't have any trouble making friends. Plus, just because they don't go to school doesn't mean they can't still get together.

If there is indeed a problem at her school, I'm sure that you'll find out eventually. A few have posted the idea that you would be running from whatever problems she may be having. However, being at home allows me help the girls address problems easier. A lot of people see homeschooling as an excuse or escape. It's really not. It is a lot of work, but just like anything you do for your kids, you do it with their best interests in mind. It can be done. Yes, there are some homeschoolers who will do thinks a LOT different from you....but that's the beauty of it. You really can tailor her education to what works best for you and her. Most people who have negative comments haven't really tried it, or don't understand how it is to function outside of the public system.

As far as site, etc., just start searching for cirriculum online. There are SOOOO many to choose from that it can be overwhelming. There are also sites which can get in plugged into local groups...ask around and see what others like. You use all or parts of cirriculums that you like. There is a convention in February in Indianapolis that has a huge exhibit hall. You can go to just the exhibit hall for $20. The rest of the convention is kinda expensive and you sounded like you wanted to spend as little as possible. But, I go to the exhibits to check out cirriculum and get ideas. Here's the site: www.inhomeeducators.org .

If you have any other questions, feel free to send me a personal message. Don't get discouraged whatever you decide. There will be nay-sayers on both sides, but if you decide to do this, you CAN do it!!! It might take some time to figure things out, but you'll do fine!!

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M.M.

answers from Saginaw on

www.sonlight.com

Also, find other homeschool mom's in your area and ask them how they do it. Seventh grade has got to be the hardest grade for an adolecent girl to endure! Please make sure to help her immediately as she must be trying to avoid something. You can do it!

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J.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

I homeschooled my kids up until this past school year (they're in the middle of their second year of public school). I love doing it & they like it though my son will tell you that public school is easier & less homework but after I was in college then it got to be too much so I let them start public school. Its not an easy path but can be very very rewarding, yall just have to make sure that she's not wanting to use homeschooling as an easy way out of a way to escape a situation (not sure her reasons so not assuming that at all). If its something yall want to do, I can give you a bunch of links to different sites I've used but there's a yahoo group for homeschooling parents in Indiana at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/IndianaHomeschoolers/ that I used when I was doing it. They were wonderful about being able to guide me towards other resources I hadn't tried and also to answer any legal questions that people had.

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M.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

It's huge commitment but can be done.
I would first check with her teachers to see just what is going on in school.
Friends can be made at church and sports and dance and gymnastics. This way you also have better control over who she is hanging out with.
THere are many curriculums, I use a hodgepodge of different ones.
I do like the book The Well Trrained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer. You might even find it at your library.

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C.B.

answers from Toledo on

I have a daughter who is doing an online virtual school. We live in Ohio, they offer it for free, provide everything you need, including a computer, etc. My daughter likes it. She still sees her friends, just not during school hours. Less drama that way. Go online for the state you live in and check it out. Here it is Ohio Virtual Accademy. They also can work at their pace, attend class, interact with class. I thought it sounded too good to be true. We have been doing it now for 6 months, it seems to work for us.. Check it out!!!

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K.P.

answers from Chicago on

Why does she want to leave school so bad? Talk to your peditrician it might be that she needs to have someone to talk to. Its not a bad thing to have your child go to therapy its a tough time to be growing up in. My friend homeschools her daughter and she has no friends except her mom. I hope everything works out well. Good Luck

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