To Homeschool or Not to Homeschool

Homeschooling is a personal decision, and you must look at your child. Will it truly be the best thing fo her? Anyway, as for no friends because she stands up for her beliefs, are there no other students in the class with morals? I mean there ought to be a couple other kids at least who do not wish to get in trouble. Encourage her to seek them out as friends if she stays in a regular school. Also may I ask what school she is in. Is it in Jefferson County or somewhere else? Large rooms can cause more discipline problems as well as a loss of connection between the children. I have known many families that homeschool for some of them it is great. Her e is some advise I was given by one of the homeschool parents. Keep them involved even if you homeschool she needs to be a part of activities with other children. Young children must learn to socialize and interact with other children. This can be done while homeschooling but you as the parent must make a decision to make it happen. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I don't have an answer either way. However, I was just reading in John Rosemond's Six Point Plan for Raising Happy Healthy Children today, and he says to not second guess yourself, and that almost no decision is going to make or break your child's life. Don't stress about it so much, in other words. Trust your judgment. Gather all the info you can, then make a decision. You can always change your mind later. Also, that book might help you to guide her in being a little more social. I absolutely believe that no friends are better than bad friends, but there is also getting along in life and not being isolated or anti social. And, having a first grader myself, the kids in his class are really sweet, even the ones who get in trouble all the time (for squirming or talking or goofing around - which in my opinion isn't "bad" behavior, just the classroom is not the time or the place).

1 mom found this helpful

Does she interact with any other children (non-family) at all? It is one thing to not do something because it is wrong, it may be a whole other issue if she does not want to play with others because they are not playing the way she wants to play. Part of school is learning compromise and how to play nicely. If you do homeschool, many communities have homeschool programs so that the kids can socialize. You will need to get her involved in different activities so that she can adapt to different social settings.

Also, I have friends who have some homeschooled, some public and even some private. If you do what is right for the child, then they should be fin.

Hello, J.! I have not had a chance to read all the responses as of yet, but wanted to give you my input. I have homeschooled my children since my oldest was in the K-5. She is now in 6th grade. My second child is in 4th grade and my youngest will start K-5 this coming school year. I LOVE homeschooling my children. I will not get into a pros and cons debate with all the replies. Some that I have read have been negative about home schooling. They apparently have never home schooled. Home schooling for me and my husband (yes, my husband, because he totally supports me) was a calling. It wasn't something that we decided in one day or it wasn't anything we did because our kids wanted it. We prayed extensively over this. We prayed since our daughter was born in 1997 over her education and what we should do. I live in South Carolina and SC public schools are rated in the bottom 5 of all 50 states. That was one of our reasons. Our main reason was because we heard God calling us to do this. We feel that it is our responsibility to raise our children with a Godly perspective of the world. Not a worldy perspective. We wanted them to know that there is One Creator and He created everything and we weren't evolved from apes! We, as parents, truly feel that God called us to do this. It wasn't just some fly by night decision. We prayed over it for 5 years and decided that was what was best for OUR children. I, by no means, am a perfect mom/teacher. I have made my share of mistakes at schooling, and my children have seen me fail at certain things, but raise myself back up again, with God's help, to succeed at it by trying again. I believe that I am teaching my children something more valuable than just school lessons. Home schooling is never on an off day because I feel that I am teaching my kids things all the time, not just during our school hours.

I think that if you feel this is something that you are being led to do, then by all means do it. Don't just make any hasty decisions. Take your time and pray over this matter. Have your husband join you each day as you take this matter to the Lord.

I am praying for you. R.

no you dont lose the thearpy if you have homebound instead of you doing it they send teacher to you. and then the theapist come to you too. i didnt regret it at all. my other child went to school.

My thought as an educator and a mom is this --- if she is having trouble socially, will removing her from school make the situation better or not. If you home school, I would encourage you to make sure that you find a home schooler's group that has regular get togethers so that she has the opportunity to meet children and make friends because it sounds like that is what she is missing. It also sounds like she is a very smart, confident little girl and you might ask her if she has considered that staying home all the time will not afford her as many opportunities to find friends as being in school would.

As a Christian mom who has her children in public school, I have seen this issue with my own daughters. We have given them a system of acceptable behaviors and beliefs and (fortunately) they have taken those to heart and try to live by them. For my older daughter, she struggled in the same way your daughter did and we went through this. However, she had friends in our congregation and she made friends in a Girl Scout troop (where appropriate behavior and activities are taught, provided, and encouraged). She worked through . She is now in high school and has found just a couple really close friends and a whole network of pals through the marching band.

My younger daughter is 8 and has struggled a little with this, but she retreats into her own pretend world when she needs playmates.

I agree with the other poster that you do not have to home school all your children if you decide to home school just one.

One thing I always tell parents is ---- whatever decision you make is the right one. If you find out later that it needs to be changed, change it. Don't let anyone tell you what you should or should not do in a way that makes you feel guilty, dumb, or a failure as a parent. We all struggle with different issues and we all have to do what is right for our own family situation and children. Your daughter is going to be successful in school or at home because you care and are taking care of her.

Hi, J.. I personally don't agree with homeschooling, but should you decide to go through with it, you should know that your child can still receive speech services. You would have to take her to the school, as they won't come to your home, but as long as she qualifies, she must continue to receive the services, by law. Also, I am a former public school guidance counselor, and I do know of at least one instance where one sibling was home schooled and the other was not, and they were twins. It worked out fine for them. You have to look at each child and determine what is in her best interest. I wonder, however, if homeschooling your 7-year-old will be good for her in the long run. She will always be her own person and other kids won't always like it, so at what point do you decide that she's ready for the real world? Sounds like you and your daughter should set up a meeting with the guidance counselor for help making friends and dealing with kids that are jerks rather than "rescuing" her from the environment. She may receive the message that she's not capable of dealing with things on her own and will always need you to intervene. Good luck.

We have always homeschooled our kids. They are now 2,18 and 15- all boys. We always joined a homeschool group. They could make friends with values more similar to ours versus the many different values. I do not regret it but it is not always easy either. It takes a lot of planning and discipline on the parents part to make sure the work is understood and done. It sounds like your daughter needs to find a friend that shares the same values she does. Do you attend a church that she could meet other children her age? I was a lot like your daughter when I was young. I had a few friends growing up but not many. I was and still am nice towards everyone but only have a few people that I truly call "friends", but they have been there for all the good as well as bad times. One friend and I actually did not speak for close to a year because she was telling me things about my spouse at a time when I did not want to listen. 20 years later the tables turned and I had to tell here things she did not want to hear but with more lives affected. This time we both knew what to do differently and our friendship grew closer. Help your daughter find someone to start a friendship with. Talk with her about remaining true to her feelings and making sure that she does what she wants. God Bless and Good Luck!

If your child is requesting it I would go for it. I did a lot of research on HSing and the only reason that I am not doing it with my 5 year old is that she is in love with school. If she asks me to do it down the road (especially for the sorts of reasons you are describing), I would do it in a heartbeat.

You will not lose out on any of the benefits for your 2nd child - you still pay taxes and the school system is still required to help your child with disabilities when she is enrolled in school. You do not have to have both of your kids enrolled for that to take place. There are plenty of families out there that have some kids in school and some homeschooled; it really depends a lot on the child and what works best for them.

That said, if I were you I would tell your oldest that you will consider it but she needs to finish this year (there's not much left and it doesn't sound like her situation is urgent). Then, use the next few weeks/months to RESEARCH this topic heavily. There are a ton of websites and there are great books at the library about HSing. That can help you make a decision. I'm sure you'll get a lot of other great advice on here. Good luck!

I have an 8 yr old son who was in Pre-K and K in the Public School System. I do not have any college education, but I did graduate from high school. I also have a 5 yr old daughter. I began home schooling in October of 2007 after allowing him to finish out his Kindergarten year. I love being with my children, and it sounds like you do, too. I don't feel you can ever regret spending too much time with your family. As far as the special needs for your other daughter, noone is better equipped to teach your children anything than you are. There are wonderful home schooling resources online and I'm sure in your local library. Whatever obstacles come your way in training your children, you get to be the one to handle it. It doesn't get better than that. There are no cons for me. Yes it is a struggle sometimes, but I feel we were given our children, and it is our responsibility to train them up in the way they should go. Check to see if there is a home school group in your area. Meet with a few of the women and have your child go and interact with their children. That is what we did when we were considering it while he was in Kindergarten. That drastically helped us decide that this is what was best for our family. I also have a blog at bucklandmoments.blogspot.com/ that touches on this issue. Hope this helps! May God bless you and your efforts of being the best mother you can be.

Hi J.,
I homeschooled one of my children and not the other. The decision to HS should be tailored to each kid, the situation, your abilities (i.e. do you have the time and energy to do it? The finances to buy the curriculum and to not bring in a paycheck for your family?), and then evaluate the decision on a yearly basis. The child I HS needed to be HS for various reasons. My other one didn't need to and didn't want to be HS. I explained it to them and to curious observers that they are individuals w/individual needs, strengths, weaknesses, and wants. It worked out great. The following year when my husband and I reevaluated, decided we didn't need to HS anymore.
Don't worry about making mistakes - we all do. We're not perfect.

I have a little different perspective. I homeschooled my son for his 6th grade year. I would make the same decision again, however it was an incredible challenge. He had ADHD and I was struggling with depression and anxiety. I would much rather be his supporter and mom, rather than trying to be it all for him: teacher, mom, tutor. He is back in public school with good support, great friends and I am happily supporting his out-of-school life.

So, it all comes down with what you need/want and what she need/wants and how the two fit together. you'll make a good decision...you're asking the right quesitons.

H.

I've homeschooled some of my children. One thing I would emphasize is that the success of homeschooling depends on the child. At one point we were living overseas and I was homeschooling my three oldest, who were ages 8, 6, and 4. The 6 year old did very well, and the 8 year old managed. But the 4 year old would not learn a single thing from me. His personality was never suited to homeschooling.

More recently I homeschooled my fourth son in grade 9 through 11. He's bright and was having trouble adjusting socially--we know how socially challenging middle school and even high school can be. When he was ready to be a senior I successfully enrolled him in an IB (advanced) program and he graduated on time. Now he's away at college and doing well, both academically and socially.

Homeschooling doesn't have to cost a lot, either. My husband was the principal of the school I pulled my fourth son from, and he agreed to let me homeschool my son but challenged me to keep expenses down. It is possible.

You don't have to homeschool both of your older daughters. My two youngest have never been homeschooled, and they don't want to be. I tend to leave it up to my children, because they know their comfort levels. I also wouldn't worry about socialization. Homeschooling can give her the confidence she needs to interact more easily with other children.

These are some things that you may want to think about when considering home school. Please keep in mind that I am not an expert, but I am graduating this semester with a teaching degree.

One of the things I have noticed about students going to school after being home school is lack of organization. Many parents don't require home schooled children to keep up with their own materials and books. In school, students are required to keep up their items therefore learning organizations skills as early as kindergarten (hanging coats in correct places, putting book bags in cubbies, and turning in papers in right bins).

Another thing that should be considered is social skills. Students learn a lot about appropriate socialization in the school environment. If a student is home schooled it is vital that the child have regular contact with their peers. Sports, scouts, play dates, etc. It can be done, but takes a lot of work on the part of the parent home schooling.

Now, I have seen many students enter the public school system after being home schooled and they have almost always been advanced. This is a definite bonus. But, these same students tend to lack the organization and social skills to continue being socially and academically successful, which makes me worry about higher education. I have also seen the students where the parents were very conscious of the equal weight that socialization, academics, and organization skill hold. If you can do this, I say go for it.

Lastly, as for the younger sibling, education is about what the student needs. I agree that your child that has the disability should continue going to school. If you keep you daughter in school because it may not be fair to the younger one, then are you being fair to your older daughter? I recommend that you consider needs first, not what may please the other children. If it were all about fair then the inclusive classroom would not exist in the modern public school systems.

Remember, this is just advice from another mom. I am not an expert, but I wish you the best of luck with this difficult decision.

I have a lot of friend who home school and their children are well educated. They belong to a group and get together to do group activities and they are also active in our Church.
My main objection to home schooling was activities but from what I see all these children do well.
Later children can take course at the local community college, chemistry or course like that.
Your daughter will learn more and also will the other two. If you are home anyway why not.
P.

The other moms gave great advice, and I agree with everything they said. I just wanted to encourage you with my own story. My younger son was just like your daughter, and it did help to homeschool (we homeschooled both our sons until high school). If you can join a homeschool group then she will be able to make friends with similar values of all ages. I say go for it!

I am planning on homeschooling my kids, but neither one has disabilities, and I'm confident that I can teach my children what they need to know better than one teacher who has to instruct up to 30 kids (sometimes more). Teacher-child ratio is a very important and well-recognized factor in how well children learn, so your older daughter will probably excel in homeschool.

I don't consider homeschooling to be an "all or nothing" thing. Homeschooling may not be the best choice for your younger daughter -- although it may, so you'll have to make that choice down the road. Some parents choose to homeschool during the early years when they feel that their kids have easier subjects that they (the parents) can easily teach, and then they transfer the kids to public school or private school for the higher subjects, especially if the parents struggled with them, and don't feel like they can teach their children what they don't fully understand themselves. Other parents do the opposite -- put their kids in school in the early years (when they are under less peer pressure) and then pull them out when they get to be teenagers, and more likely to run with the wrong crowd.

One of my friends has three sons, and she recently began homeschooling her oldest because he was having learning difficulties that she didn't think the teacher was properly addressing. Her two younger sons stayed in public school (although one of them has recently asked to be homeschooled as well).

The choice of where your kids go to school is so that your kids can have the best education -- whether that is at home, a public school, or private school. Right now it seems as if your 3-y/o is already doing something that her big sister is not -- going to speech therapy. She may be easily segued into public school, if that is best for her; or she may struggle and you'll have to assert your parental authority to choose what is best for her. It may also be that you can home-school her too, and get the therapy she needs even if she's not in the school system. You can check to see if there are alternatives to in-school therapy. Or, she may exceed your expectations in the next 3-4 years and you'll be able to teach her at home as well, if you want.