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Need Advice on Home Schooling Please!!!

I have recently found out about some issues with my daughter and school. Long story short, we were told to think about home schooling. I've never thought about this before. Basically, we do it now, with her homework. It takes hours for homework and she hates it and we could pull each other's hair out. If I were to home school her, would it be the same way? If so, I can't do it. I'll end up with a heart attack. Do you people that homeschool find it hard to teach your own children? How do you know if they are learning what they're supposed to? She's going into the 6th grade. Will she have to miss out on her first school dances or not be able to play on school sports teams, basketball and volleyball? Please, tell me your experiences and if your children have changed for the better or worse.

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Hi everyone, I just wanted to let you all know that I appreciate your advice. You're all amazing. I'm so happy to have found this site. After thinking long and hard and talking to family and her teachers i've decided not to home-school at this time. I'm going to wait and see how 6th grade goes and if there are issues then we'll go from there. I just feel that as stubborn as she is an the way things are now with homework struggles it would be worse for both of us and our relationship to home school. Once again, thanks again, and i'll be right here again as I need advice.

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I wanted to homeschool, but it just would not benefit my 6 year old daughter. She learns better from a school environment. It depends on the child. Each child is different and it seems to me you are not going to have a good time with it either. I wish you good luck if you attempt it.

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Hi J.,

I have not home-schooled...but I know several people who do..the parents and kids love it...They say it takes a lot of patience and time...but you can do it if you are determined....whhy not try it for a semester...Good Luck..


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I homeschooled in Florida and am considering starting back up here. I have 5 children and they all loved being homeschooled. In Florida, if you are truly homeschooling the kids are allowed to participate in sports and things at the local public school. I don't know if it is the same here.

I will say that if you are having that hard of a time getting homework done it may not be a great idea for you to do the teaching. That being said...one thing that we loved about it is that the kids went at their own pace. If they worked hard they could be done with schoolwork right after lunch and have the rest of the day to play. If they were lazy or were not paying attention...it could last all day. They learned quite quickly that it was a good idea to get up and get their work done. We did not have "homework" , just what they did during our school day.

There are also a couple of other options for you. One that I know of is Georgia Virtual Academy(I think is the name). It is funded by the public school system. They send you the curriculum and assign a teacher to your child. You do the teaching at home and the teacher grades certain selected assignments that are sent in. We used the one in Florida for a couple of years then I branched off and did traditional homeschooling. With the virtual school the kids still have to go to the public school to take the testing(CRCT).

If you look around you can probably also find some homeschool groups that will offer sports, lab type experiments, etc.

If you would like more information just let me know.


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no it is not hard to teach your own. but if the school wants her at home ask about homebound they send teacher to you. keep in mind though homebound teachers are not trained to handle some kids. ask the school about the sports and dances. i home schoooled mine, but he has cp.

2 moms found this helpful

Hello, J.! I have always homeschooled my kids. My daughter is in 6th grade this year, my son is in 4th grade and my youngest son will start Kindergarten in the fall. Home schooling is not as difficult as you would think. There are many curriculums that all you do is follow the teacher book. I use mostly Bob Jones curriculum. I find that is the best for my family. There are many more out there, too many to list and I can put you in contact with e-mails if you would like. Just contact me. Right now our day consists of getting up around 8 and starting school around 9. We are done with school around 12. We are actually on Spring Break right now and will be done with school officially on May 8. That will be our 180th day! Whoohoo! Anyway, what you need to do first is find a local homeschool association to belong to. This association is your liason between you and that state. Once you register with this association, they will notify the school of your intent to homeschool. If you are ever contacted by any state official, school official, Department of Social Services, etc. you must contact this association and they will handle it from there. You will need to keep a written diary of some sort of what your child is learning each day. I have a plan book and all my lessons are recorded as we complete them. This way if the state demands proof of what your child is learning (never happened to me) then you have that proof.

Please don't confuse your child's homework with home schooling. Homework to me is just a waste of time because it is something the teacher didn't get to in class. The most "homework" my children have to read the next chapter. Your child has been in school for 8 hours and now has to sit at home again and re-do all that she did earlier in the day!

As for social events. My children are full of social events. They play sports and take Karate 2-3 times a week (my 9 year old son is a 3rd degree red belt, my 11 year old daughter is a 1st degree green belt and my 5 year old is a blue belt). We are very active in our church and as a matter of fact, my daughter is helping this week do a taping at our church of our youth band and she is running the cameras for the taping of the video. Depending on what your state laws are, your child may or may not be able to play the sports at the local high school.

As far as costs go, I believe that it costs us around $700 a year to homeschool all 3 kids. You don't mention any other children in your request, but what I do is when I find a curriculum that I like, like Bob Jones, I will buy one text book and 3 workbooks. That way by the time my youngest son gets to be in that grade, I don't have to repurchase a text book and I already have my workbook. Basically, by the time my second and third child gets to that grade, it is all paid for. So, $700 now and no money later!

I hope this all helps. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. I am always willing to help out other home schoolers, because it is not as impossible to do as you might think.

2 moms found this helpful

I was homeschooled myself so I wanted to adress the social aspect of your question. It depends on the district your in I suppose but my friends just got me tickets to school dances at thier school and I went with them. In high school I had boyfriends and they asked me to dances at their schools I went to football games at their schools. No I didnt do cheerleading etc.. but I did do dance classes for my "sport" and they offered cheering so I took it. My friend homeschools her kids and her son is on the city basketball team and soccer team. I do not feel I missed out on anything being homeschooled except maybe graduation. But maybe your daughter just needs a couple years at home then she can go back to school. It can't hurt to give it a try.

2 moms found this helpful

I do not homeschool my kids, but have prayed about it every year. We were very close to doing it this next year, but decided not to. I do know that if you do homeschool, you will have your kids at the best hours for learning, instead of cramming in homework after they have been in school for 8 hours and are tired. It would take you an average of about 4 hours per day, and there are many different ways to do it. Google Homeschool co-ops and support groups for your area, that would give you lots of info. Some of the co-ops do social networking. If you are married, you will need your husband's support, I don't know that it would work without it. Everyone that I have ever talked to who has homeschooled has said that it is the best decision they ever made for their family. The only reason we are not doing it this year is because of major family changes (bringing an orphan from overseas as an exchange student), and I didn't feel I could handle all of it at once. My oldest is now in 6th grade, ask around about co-ops for middle schoolers. There are lots of options. Good luck! K. K.

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I have never homeschooled my children, but I know several people that do. What they do for sports and stuff is depending where you live, they sometimes have homeschool groups! I had a friend when I was in California that homeschooled her children and the homeschool program that she was using put her in touch with other homeshcooling parents. Her daughter played on a volleyball team, a couple of her sons played on a basketball team, and all four of them belonged to different kids of clubs. They were all made up of homeschooled and church school kids. I would check around. As far as whether you could handle being your childs teacher, I have mixed feelings about homeschooling. I have seen some who take it very seriously and do a wonderful job. I have seen others that their children suffer greatly because of it. You have to be the one who decides what's best for your family.

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There are a lot of homeschool groups that offer support for the very things you are asking about. Go to www.homeschoolcentral.com. You'll find a lot of groups there. Many have sports teams, dances, classes, playgroups, etc.

Not knowing your daughter's situation/special needs, I would suggest going with a packaged curriculum to get started. Then, you won't have the headaches of trying to build your own. I just finished the planned/packaged curriculum for my son for Kindergarten. We used My Father's World and each day took less than two hours to complete the planned lessons. The older grades may take longer; I don't know. Contacting a support group in your area may help you find the curriculum you want to use.

Check your state homeschooling laws about withdrawing your child from public school, starting your own school, and if any reports are necessary to be filed with the state.

I've only completed one year of homeschooling. Some days were a struggle and some days were a breeze ... just like raising children any other way. With the struggles, I tell myself that we are spending as much time in "school" as we would on homework had he been in school all day.

As for knowing if she is learning what she is suppose to: you are the best person to know how to read your child. If she were in the classroom with 25-30 other students, does a teacher really know if she is "learning" or just reproducing the answers on a paper. I feel like the "teach to the test" method is all I got in my years of public school. I get so excited when my son reflects back on something we talked about in school and says, "hey mom! That's just like when ..."


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I'm planing on homeschooling my 12 y.o. step son this fall due to having to spend alot of time doing homework with him as well. I figured if I'm spending this much time already, I might as well teach him myself! We are planning on doing the Switch on Schoolhouse computer curriculum. I have recieved a lot of recommendations for this program. We also are blessed to have a home scholl co-op group where a HS mom teaches math, science, etc, her husband teaches drafting, another mom teaches art. So he will go once a week to those classes. I also heard there is a school not far from me that does a bit more with the co-op classes, so kids get more socialization, if a parent is concerned about that aspect of HS. Good Luck and remember, if it doesn't work out, you are not stuck doing this. You can always turn around mid-semester and do another program or send her back to school.

1 mom found this helpful

I absolutely do not have the personality to homeschool. My husband really wanted me to do it with our children, but he married the wrong person for that, ha ha. I recently started reading Ending the Homework Hassle by John Rosemond. He's going to tell you what no one else will, and is the only person with such a book who can back up everything he says with research and personal experience. He teaches you how to change things around from her success or failure in school being your problem, to being her problem. He points out that if you and everyone else are doing all the worrying about it, then why would she? You can find it cheap on amazon. Good luck!

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I did homeschool my kids and it was a great success. There are several different companies that offer cirriculum so all you have to do is follow the book and you will be sure she is getting what she needs. My kids played on sports teams and took classes in karate and music - we also were involved in church groups and scouts. The best thing to do would be find a local homeschool group and they will help you get started and give you the support you need. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I wanted to homeschool, but it just would not benefit my 6 year old daughter. She learns better from a school environment. It depends on the child. Each child is different and it seems to me you are not going to have a good time with it either. I wish you good luck if you attempt it.

1 mom found this helpful

First, find some homeschool groups in the area and see what is available as far as groups to be involved with, check out curriculum, etc. Don't know what state you are in, but many do not require school systems to permit homeschool students to participate in extracurricular activities. In the state of TN there is currently legislation to do so as long as certain requirements are met. I pulled my daughter mid year last year (5th grade) and it went very well. I used Abekka and it was easy to use and she was prepared when I put her in a private school for 6th grade this year.
Different curriculums use different approaches, look and see what fits your daughters learning style the best. Most use a combination of text book, work book, quiz booklets.
I ended up reviewing the entire year of math as that was the teacher we had so much trouble with. It paid off and my child truly excels in math now. I don't know what hte issues were at school, but with my daughter the teacher was emotionally abusive with sarcasm/berating and the kids (not just mine) were scared to ask a question for fear of being yelled at by her. This is one of the things I had to work on with my child. She was even apprehensive to ask me to explain things she didn't understand. Once she saw she could ask and not be yelled at, learning was much easier. Ebay/internet book stores are good places to find used texts as well as some used bookstores. Many homeschool groups also have sales. There is a good used bookstore in the Memphis area if you live near there.

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Try contacting Family Christian Academy, which is a church related school located near Nashville. www.familychristianacademy.com Your daughter could do all her work online, graded by FCA teachers, or do her school work traditionally. FCA offers curriculum guidance, testing, record keeping services, field trips and many opportunities for your daughter to meet with other home educated kids. They offer all kinds of support to home educating parents.

My J.. oiy,oiy.......... what a decision. I have tons of advice, but you are the only one that can make the decision.

You will go through curriculum like crazy. You will find things that work, that doesn't work. You will pull your hair out in the beginning, second guess yourself, and find that in the end; it may just be the best thing you ever did for you and your child.

I pulled my daughters out of middle school and started homeschooling. I didn't know if I could do it or not, but I thought, I am their mother, and who really knows them best?? ME!! And who is really responsible for their education and well being?? ME!!!

At first we read, a lot. We read everything we could get our hands on. Newspapers. We unschooled first. Then we started a schedule slowly. We did field trips as we wanted to, and there are places that let homeschoolers come in as a group of students at discounts. I took my daughters where ever I could. To me schooling isn't just a classroom, it's culture, art, seeing history, etc.

I used a mix of curriculum. Not just Christian. I liked some of this, and some of that. I really liked the Rosetta Stone foreign language. There are some homeschooling sites where you can swap or buy and sell used during the year also. My daughters did virtual classes online also. When my oldest reached 16, she did dual enrollment at the community college.

I say research, plan your year, check out what your child should be learning. There are retired teachers that will help you. The Dept of Education has those resources to help you as well.

The beauty of homeschooling is the independence and also the freedom to make the choices. You will have so much time during the day to do other things, which will be learning adventures also. Incorporate learning into everything you do. Cooking, sewing, visit farms, learn about agriculture, the extension offices are great for learning. Take up a photography class, make a scrap book. There is so much you can do. We never got around to doing it all. I wish we had. Just wait and see, you will be loving it and can hardly wait to plan the next schedule. Just be patient, and remember, everyday is a learning experience for you and your child.

We all have days we want to goof off. It's okay too. Turn those days into something fun, and memorable.

Good luck, it's going to be fine!!! You will see.

There are so many different options for homeschooling- it's not just about sitting at a table and doing homework all day anymore.

Some accepted methods include unschooling (or child-led studies) which is where they pick the subjects they want to learn about and you integrate the entire lesson around it. For example, my son loves trains. So our reading lesson might be a train story, math might be patterns with train colors, history might be a trip to the B&O railroad building (it's in our town)... etc. My older daughter could pick a subject like shopping. So reading is magazines, math is calculating discounts and balancing a check book, etc...

Other methods involve secular and non-secular (non-religious) curriculums, online classes, and group classes.
There are a ton of homeschool groups in all regions.

I encourage you to homeschool your daughter. I am a mom of 8 children the first 3 (now adults)went to public school and all did poorly. I became interested in homeschooling when my husband and I noticed a huge difference in the kids at our church that were taught from home. We decided to start with our son Zach at kindergarten age, he is now 15 and in 9th grade. Eli is 10 and in 5th grade and I'll be starting my 6 yr old in the fall. We receive compliments everywhere we go regarding our children, all due to homeschooling and our faith in God. There are local homeschool groups that you can join for encouragement, sports, etc. The best part is the close bond that you will form with your daughter. There is so much to choose from in teaching materials that you can customize to your daughters needs and interests. I would be happy to help you in any way I can. Blessings, M.

I started homeschooling this year with my second and first grade girls. It has been wonderful, they have become super close and they no longer have bad attitudes. I thought it would be hard with my oldest, getting her to do her homework last year was awful. You get your own curriculum and teach 4 hours a day 180 days a year. I've realized they spend a lot of time in the classroom not learning, waiting, being ignored, watching movies, being mean to eachother. It's really hard to learn when it's not a safe loving environment, and that's what you can do at home. I go through Aaron Academy, you pay a small fee and the take care of the paperwork. I think you can do sports through them, or the YMCA or stuff like that. If you have any more questions don't hesitate, I could say so much more about this. Look up John Taylor Gatto, he's got books you can read online about the school systems and homeschooling.

Hi J.,

I have not home-schooled...but I know several people who do..the parents and kids love it...They say it takes a lot of patience and time...but you can do it if you are determined....whhy not try it for a semester...Good Luck..


Homeschooling is a hard decision. I have never homeschooled, but have thought about it often. My oldest is autistic - so far he has done well at the elementary school - in just over a year from now it will be time for him to transition to the middle school. Unfortunately, I have not heard that many good things about our middle and high schools here. Yes, I have heard that they do have some good teachers, but they are so overcrowded that they are not able to teach the children without a lot of interruptions.

I have enjoyed reading the other suggestions.

There are many great suggestions. Since you have said that you and your daughter struggle so much with the homework now - I think that I would look into having a teacher come to the home and if that is not a possibility then I would find a local homeschool support group or a private school. I think that I might also seek a therapist that can help you and your daughter and your whole family work through this difficult time.

I'm actually just getting started with my daughter but a friend of mine has been homeschooling her children since they started school. She has just recommended a box system that I'm trying out, she loves it. You can find out information on this at http://www.workboxsystem.com/

There are several resources out there that you can tap into. The Homeschool Lounge is one of them. http://www.thehomeschoollounge.com/

I hope you are able to do what is best for your daughter. Good Luck!

We live in Charlotte, NC. There are tons of options for homeschoolers. We have only been homeschooling for a year. We use a packaged curriculum called k12.com, but there are others. The homeschool community is huge in NC. The children have soccer, karate, YMCA, Spanish, etc. electives available to them. They even have there own prom. Check out a few yahoo groups to get more info in your area. Homeschooling is a breath of fresh air, and we are normally done by 11:30 am. We have the best ratio 1:1. Good Luck!

Just as every teacher has a different style of teaching, every child has a different style of learning. If you can calmly discern what works and what doesn't, you can probably get a day's worth of teaching done in half a day. That's what the Bible meant when it says 'teach up a child in the way he should go'. It means 'according to his/her natural 'bent' (aptitude, interests and ability). I never home-schooled, but many people do it wonderfully. If public school isn't working, give it a shot (or find someone in your community who's doing it and loving it and see if you could work something out with them to help teach her or mentor you on how to do it).

J. K.
You have too many unknown issues for me to make a useful comment. If homework is a problem, as you said, home schooling would have the same issues. So< I can tell you that you need to try to resolve the issues that your child already has. Sounds like emotional and or learning
issues are involved. Work with your school staff and counselor.
If you chose to home school and felt comfortable, It would be a better reason than "they" said.
As to what to teach, the public schools will provide curriculum materials and testing. Her social life will be a problem, unless you are part of a home schooling network.
I am an educator with multiple degrees. Solving problems early is a good plan.
R. G.

Well, if you have home school like she currently has school, it probably will be horrible; but if you can adapt what she needs to know to her particular learning style, she will likely excel. Public schools (and most private schools, for that matter) cannot adapt their teaching methods to different learning styles, but force students to adapt to the single teaching method -- just because there are too many students for one teacher.

Join a homeschool co-op, and you will likely be able to have sports teams and stuff. My two sisters' children are old enough for homeschooling, and they are on a homeschool track team; as they get older, they may add other organized sports, but my nieces and nephews are all in the 10-y/o range right now.

I don't have any experience or much to offer but I can tell you that nowadays they have so many more curriculums out there for home schoolers. They have books telling you what to teach them. They also tell you that you do not need the Full day that they are going now. I knew someone who home schooled and her day was 8a to noon. You can do the Art and things once a week or in the afternoon as fun instead of part of the class. you have to have a room or area that is quiet w/ no tv or phone ringing. You can also join a home schooling group...like play groups where they go on field trips and now they can even play sports! There is a Fla football quarterback who was home schooled and he played sports all of his life. You can play for the rec team or now even the school teams. You would be surprised how many moms do this now and you would have plenty of support. There is also a homework hotline to help them with questions. I would google it and whatever info you get from here and maybe even contact the city school district where you live to see if they can direct you to where you would find the books you would need and curriculum. She will need to commit to this as well. You will have to have MAJOR ground rules. There are also homeschoolers that do this with other children and moms. They get a break as a mom and the kids get to socialize with other students a day or two a week. Is there a way she can just transfer to a different school? School should not be a bad experience so you are doing the right thing to help her...it would stay with her forever if it is bad enough. High School is such a big deal for some reason and it stays with you. Good luck!

We started homeschooling our oldest daughter when she was in 5th grade. It was the greatest experience for both of us. We used the ABeka program from Pensacola Christian Academy in Pensacola, Fl. They are an accredited school, will do report cards and they have a wonderful graduation ceremony. Our daughter graduated with a 3.9 grade pt average and is now in college with a 4.0! ABeka has one of the best english and math courses out there. First, you need to sit down with your child and go over expectations; have this written down so you do not miss any points, or you could put it all in writing, review with your child and both sign it. This way your child has ownership in her school work. She knows what is expected and if she fails to get homework done or yells, etc...then there are consequences. Our daughter knew that I was serious about her schooling; we had a set time to start & stop just like regular school. She also knew that if she did not do the work then she would get a failing grade. She really enjoyed being homeschooled. She now sees the benefit in homeschooling as she is a self learner/starter. Because of the great english program, she does not struggle with writing papers or giving speeches. She became very involved in her church youth program and her dancing, so that she had a social life. We love it because she really has great friends that do not get into trouble. She is a beautiful adult who is a leader and not a follower. There are other programs out there, but we liked having to deal with one company (school) and one program. Also, check with your area to see if there is a homeschool group. They are great to get involved with. Also check out Home School Leagal Defense, they keep you up to date on laws and any changes or problems that could arise. Overall, it was the best decision we ever made. We have now adopted 2 little girls and when the time comes, we are going to homeschool them also. God bless & good luck, K. A

Hi J.,
I am in the same boat you are. Debating homeschooling. Several of my friends are doing it and really enjoy it. I am ernestly praying about it for me 6 and 10 yo. Hubby not on the same page yet though. My situation is maybe a little different in that I would have to cut my work schedule ( I pay my car pmt and private school pmt). Obviously school pmt would be cut out, but still have car can't get rid of. Lots of praying for direction on my end. I can hook you up with my friend who has a homeschooling ministry and she has been so helpful to me.
Can I ask what is going on w/your daughter?
Please let me know if you would like my friends email address. Please keep me posted on your journey. I in the boat with you.
Bless you in seeking what is best for your daughter. A sign of a great mother!!!
W. from IN

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