Hi im I.,like a week ago my 10 month daughter doesnt want anyone else but me.she would be held by her dad but recently she wouldnt let him hold her..i can see my husband is getting frastrated coz they were close but not anymore...im a stay home mum and i spend time with her 24/7..is these one of the problem?is it just a phase?how long does it last?coz i feel bad for my hubby i want them to spend time together but not when she is acting like this..any suggestion please help?
Like others have said: phase/normal.
Here's O. suggestion: You get out of the house. Let them work it out. Without you there as a distraction. And you can get some "me time" -- BONUS!
Good luck!
Reassure your husband that his daughter really, really loves him!
But she's going through a "velcroed to Mama" phase, in which no one else will do if Mama is around. It can take a while. And you'll have to be patient, too. I have a wonderful photograph of one of my granddaughters at about that age, sitting in a beautiful field of bluebonnets in a lovely dress... and howling her head off because her mother had the nerve to SET HER DOWN.
It's just something many babies do. Her daddy needs to handle it with patience and a good sense of humor. It could be that if you get out of the house once in a while, she'll be fine with Daddy until you get back. AND... some time in the next few years your daughter may go through an "I love Daddy best" phase and you're going to feel bad for yourself! :^)
My daughter did the same thing when she was young. For months I'd be her sun and moon. Then all of a sudden when Daddy would walk through the door she'd drop me like a hot potato and only want daddy to read her a bedtime story, only want daddy to brush her hair, only daddy.
It hurts a little but then next week she'll be back to asking me to braid her hair the "right" way again (lol). The flip flopping can make you dizzy in the beginning but it evens out after a while. Totally normal.
she's 10 months old. babies go through phases in rapid succession, but at 10 months she's really not in a position to 'let' her own father hold her or not.
you and hubby need to remember that you're adults, she's an infant. no one should get hurt feelings over babies' phases. she'll have ones later where all she wants is daddydaddydaddy. that should be okay with both of you too. because you're the adults.
leave the room (or the house!) and leave daddy and daughter together. they do need to spend time together, and yes, even when she's 'acting like this.'
she's just a baby. she's too little to make decisions like 'i'm hurting daddy's feelings because now he doesn't feel close to me any more.'
don't project adult reactions onto babies.
khairete
S.
Yep, just a phase. She'll go through it over and over again -- I remember it lasting for long periods and short, and not just against my husband -- sometimes against me! Often against grandparents who traveled hundreds of miles to see her! It happens after they can talk, too...
It's a normal phase that each of my daughters went through briefly. Well, my middle daughter went through it a bit longer than the other two but we approached it the same way with all three.
We ignored it. Their father is their Daddy no matter how they react, and he's not someone for them to fear, ever. We never ever validated the fear response to their Daddy.
So if I had to shower or run an errand or make supper and Daddy was home to give me free hands, but the girl/s wanted Only Mommy... guess what? Tough nuts, baby. Daddy it is. No matter how intimidated my husband or how upset my daughter, I wasn't going to coddle that particular nonsense when there wasn't a reason for it.
I knew it was developmentally appropriate. That didn't mean I had to acknowledge it to the baby and validate it emotionally. Validating it only would have meant prolonging it. I refused to feed into the responses.
Normal. Sucks, but it's normal. It happened to my husband and then it happened to me and I was glad for the break! LOL Men take this much harder, but assure him that it's just a phase, go with it and she'll come back loving him more than before!
Completely a phase that is normal and one day she will not want you probably and then she will again. Just say 'you see Daddy while I go do'...whatever, and just ignore it as he takes her. If you go out of the room or outside she will get over it soon. It's painful for fathers, and mothers too if they happen to be the one not wanted at the time. Just be assured it won't last forever.
im a SAHM also and had the same problem with my son, hes almost 3 now and has just gotten to wear he will stay with others without freaking out when i leave the room, and finally wants his daddy. Its normal for a child to be clingy to the stay at home parent because thats who they are used to being with. It will get better, good luck!
Totally a phase.. Totally normal.
It happened to us too.. I felt so bad for my husband.. He is so sweet and just adores our child, but they just all of a sudden only want mama..
They almost act frightened.. like they just do not want anyone to even make a move towards them..
I think I remember it was a few days..
I kept having to apologize to my husband and assure him it was nothing personal.. it was just a normal phase many children this age go through..They just want mommy and no one else.
One of the things we did, was sit really close with each other.. On the sofa, on the bed.. I would be holding our daughter, but my husband was right next to me.. When I would feed her, he was right there.
I was working full time and so our daughter was with a caregiver during the day.. So it was not because I was with her all day.. It was just some internal need to only have me hold her.
Just give your husband lots of reassurances, you give him lots of hugs.. Let him know this is a phase.. to try not to take this personally.
Hi I.,
Like everyone else has said, it's normal. Daddy and daughter just have to work it out. Here's something to try:
In advance, coach Daddy on some things that baby LOVES. Maybe a favorite toy that will distract her when she's upset or a song to sing, or silly animal noises she likes...Let him know what can distract or soothe her.
Pick a time when baby is content in general (full tummy, clean diaper, rested). **Have Daddy come and get her from you.** While he has her, he can be silly, goofy, engaging daddy, even if she fusses. Use the toys, songs, animal sounds, etc. Let them work it out for some time. You stay in another room. I know it's easy for Daddy to be intimidated by a fussy baby and hard for you to hear, but they'll both learn a valuable lesson.
For our older daughter, the difference between Daddy (or someone else) taking baby from the room and Mommy leaving the room was huge. We survived an entire holiday trip to visit family using this approach. I spent a lot of time hiding in the kitchen that trip, but my daughter eventually warmed up to her grandparents!
Best wishes
