So I know I posted about this before, but I am seriously still struggling with this major tantrum/screaming that happens when my 23 month old wakes up. Primarily it's his naps, but he does do it in the am if I don't hold him for a little bit AND let him get up on his own terms. I do the same for naps, but it's hit or miss on whether it really works or not. Even if he gets up on his own from my lap, all I have to do is move the wrong way and oh my you'd think I snapped an appendage off or something!
What I'm looking for is encouragement that this is just a phase, and once he can talk more I won't have these meltdowns. It really really takes a lot of my time, which I don't mind doing if we can get off on the right foot. Other times, it really makes me (as bad as this sounds) not look forward to him waking up. It really really frustrates me and I would love for it to stop, or at least know this isn't going to continue until he's an adult--God Bless his future wife it does!
BTW I've tried leaving him in his room longer, letting him walk out on his own, hold him until he's ready to get down, rock him back to sleep, ignore it etc. The best solution at this point (which is only 50/50 successful ) is holding him and letting him get up and sit in his chair on his own. I really enjoy the extra cuddling time, I just wished it worked every time :(
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This is just an odd thought....
I wonder if his blood sugar is really low in the morning, and that is causing the irritability, grumpiness, confusion, etc...?
Maybe if you meet him with a sippy cup of juice or milk in the morning?
Might be worth a try... or it might just distract him, as someone else posted.....
Do you need to wake him up?
My daughter doesn't wake up well most of the time either. We've found it best to just leave her wake up on her own unless it is necessary to get her up in the AM - luckily she only goes to pre-school a few days/week.
Nap time is tougher - she is VERY difficult to wake up. We usually open her door and make regular noise to see if that will wake her on her own. Or go in and just sit on the chair in her room. But she can be quite ornery.
Not to discourage you but she just turned 4. I think she simply does best sleeping as long as she needs to sleep. I dread school, for this among other reasons!
My daughter, was not a good waker-upper.
As well as my friends, kids.
Some people just do not wake up well... and they may still be tired. If they did not get a full good sleep.
Now, per my daughter, I LET HER, wake up on her own... and did not interfere. The more you interfere, the worse they wake up.
For some people AND kids... they DO NOT LIKE, to immediately interact when they wake up, NOR like to have anyone in their face when they wake up and do not want to even talk or get all smiley, when they wake up.
My sister was like that too.
NOT all people, are cuddly when they wake up.
Go by your child's cues.
Or he will just get more irritated.
My Mom, was and is, a real cheery waker-upper and a total morning person. She drove me NUTS... as a child. Because she'd expect everyone to wake up like her... all interactive. UGH.
Versus, me and the rest of the family, just wanted silence... when we woke up and to go about it, in OUR own way. Not her way. Everyone is different. It took her decades, to realize that.
Instead of just calling us grumpy children.
She did not know us... and our waking up manner. Our Dad did.
He'd let us be. Then we had NO, problem waking up.
Some people take time to fully... wake. And like to go about it on their own pacing.
Nothing is 'wrong' with that.
Know your child's cues.
My son, will wake up on his own, all pleasant.
My daughter would... IF we let her be. If not, it was just NOT pleasant.
It has nothing to do with being 'naughty' or not. It is just the way people wake up.
Some people just NEED their own space... when they wake up.
Nothing wrong with that.
My daughter has outgrown that now.
She is now 8.
She now wakes up fine.
My husband and I just took a fabulous parenting class through the Echo Center. They addressed the developmental appropriateness of two year olds expressing themselves through tears and yelling. They lack the words to express their feelings so they get loud. I can only share what we do when our 25 month old son wakes upset. We try to help him identify how he's feeling. For example, if he's crying we say, "Seems like you're having big sad feelings". Then we stop to think about what might be contributing to his feelings (hunger, thirst, bad dream, need to cuddle). We start to slowly offer the things we think he might need (even keep a baggie of crackers and his sippy cup with water by the bed--always). My son usually needs to get out of the bed and go play and needs to hear that breakfast is coming next. We've found that stopping when we feel triggered by something that happens and regulating our emotions first helps with dealing with our upset boy. I'm not trying to sell you on a parenting philosophy but I can't help but be excited by the change.
Remember, kids are just little people. We don't always need the same thing every single day and neither do they. Some days a hug is fabulous, other days it's something else.
Best of luck with the waking moments!!
How do you and your hubby wake up? I do NOT wake up pretty I need a Dt Mt Dew and time to drink it before I'm human. And my son's the same way, except he gets juice in his glass. But my sister the morning person gave birth to a kids that bounces right out of bed....
oh I can remember days like that. Its a phase and doesn't continue. My daughter did that too from the time she was an infant... screamed when she woke up alone or even semi-alone. It got better as she got older though and by the time she was 4, she was pretty good about waking up without tears.
It was good to have plan a (when everything goes right) and plan b for when he wakes up horrid. You'll have to figure out what plan b is, but it should be something that easily grabs his attention. For my daughter it was either popsicles or bath time. I'd let her choose when she was 3. 15 minutes later she'd be smiling and we could get on with our day.
Hope That Helps.
My son was the exact same way; I even posted a question about it at around the same age. It has gotten better with time. He is 4 now, and sometimes still wakes up extremely cranky, but it is much less extreme than it used to be. I have found that after I got some food in him (which could be difficult at times to get him to eat it in the middle of a tantrum), he would return to his normal sweet self. Hang in there; it will improve as he gets older.
My DD sometimes wakes up in a horrible mood too. Not sure why but I would think that after a nap they would be in a better mood. Guess not. She doesnt throw an all out fit but she is often crusty boogers with me if I dont tread lightly with her so I usually just go into her room and talk to her in a nice calm soothing voice and I get down on the floor and rub her back until she sits up and then she asks to get down or she wants me to pick her up
I had this same issue with my first child. He is now 19 but I remember the days like yesterday. I also recall the comments "is he ok".."does this happen all of the time?" "Do you think this is normal"..all from my mother in law..I thought I would strangle her. Of course this was not normal!!!
He grew out of it. Nothing helped, other than to leave him alone. I would go in and rub him and tell him that I was outside in the kitchen with a snack when he was ready..I would check on him periodically, however, that would sometimes that would make things worse..
I feel for you and I do not recall how long it really lasted but mine too was around nap time and could last up to an hour after waking. I do recall it got to a point where I was not sure I wanted to put him down and would try to keep him up..
Take care and hopefully you get some great advice. I am sorry I don't have anything concrete but just wanted you to know that I went through the same thing with my son.
I didn't read through all the answers so sorry if I repeat. My now 4-yr old did the same thing starting around 15months. We tried EVERYTHING! My ped just explained it as "nap terrors" similar to "night terrors". If you read about this, you will see there is really nothing you can/should do, but let them finish. I never really figured out what to do to eliminate the nap terrors, sometimes they would go on for over an hour! I concluded that he is waking before he is done sleeping, and not able to go back to sleep, even with my comforting. If I was ever able to get him back to sleep, he woke up totally fine and happy! He phased out naps shortly after 2yrs, but even now when he takes a nap about once a month, he still has the terror about half the time.
He also started in with night terrors, and with those we found he needed a "reset", and what worked was to carry him out back to look at the moon. As soon as we opened the back door, he would stop crying, lay his head on my shoulder, and be back to sleep. Looking out the window didn't work, he had to go out the back door. I remember doing this at 9months pregnant three times a night! He stopped for about a year, but now that he is 4, he does it occasionally, and the reset button is to take him in to use the bathroom. I wonder if all these years it was the need to go to the bathroom (or even having a wet diaper), that upset him? Maybe something to think about with your little one?
Have you tried giving him a sippy cup of milk to calm him down? My 2 year old son has been a high maintenance kid since he was in the womb, no joke. The only way I can get him to be calm or behave if we are out, is to give him a drink or food. My son gets a sippy cup of 2% milk with one teaspoon of chocolate syrup every morning right when he comes down the stairs. It's waiting for him. It may not sound completely healthy, but it works because he looks forward to it and forgets about throwing a tantrum. When he throws a fit say in the grocery store, I give him a sucker or a snack cup of goldfish.
It does seem to get easier as they learn to talk and explain what they want.
I don't have experience with this, but someone I only know marginally has mentioned a similar problem with her daughter. She was recently referred to a developmental pediatrician, but it seemed to take quite an effort on her part to be heard.
Good luck, mama.
Both of my twins did this around that age. We eventually figured out they were hungry, so I had snack ready to go. It is a phase and he will grow out of it. just hang in there!
I just wanted to empathize with you. I have a 25 month old that has been having hissy fits waking up for months. I get so angry when I hear about my friends listening in on their kids playing in their cribs or beds, singing, babbling, talking happily when they wake up. WHAT? Are you KIDDING ME? The only solution that I've found works with mine is what it sounds like you're doing with yours. I make sure he naps for at least an hour an a half and then when he wakes up I go into his room, keep it dark (we have a great black out shade that seems to help this whole process), and sit in a rocking chair with him for a few minutes while he wakes up. In the morning I also do the same thing with him in my bed. I go and grab him from his crib and then we slowly wake up together in my room. This seems to help a ton. And like you said, I like the extra cuddling time so I try to focus on this rather than on how high maintenance the process sometimes is. I'm someone who really doesn't like to wake up and have a tendency to be crabby in the morning or after naps so perhaps I've passed this along to my son. Who knows?
sesame street and a sippy of juice. leave alone for a bit. it is what worked with my daughter. she needs about .5-1 hr to wake up! good luck!
R.
Both my boys have done this starting around age 2. Scares the heck out of me. I wanted to add that both my boys are high functioning autistic...
i always want to put that out there when i see someone searching for answers since i have been doing the same for 4 years now. don't panic, just something to think about...
God Bless
