Marriage - Cuba,MO

I've been married twice, have children from my ex. It would have been wonderful if he cared enough to fight to see them. They have some issues from feeling they were not important to their own father.

I have never been married (although I will be marrying on May 28th of this year, but not to my son's father). However, I do have a son with a man with whom I was in a 16 year relationship, and lived with, so it was much like a marriage for all intents and purposes.

From day one when we split, we have amicably discussed everything pertaining to our son. We actually get along quite well these days, and work together to do what is best for our son, and to accommodate both of our schedules, needs, etc.

So YES, we absolutely DO discuss visitation - and everything else - without getting upset. In our minds, we are so focused on ensuring that our son is healthy and happy, that we do everything we can to keep things peaceful and harmonious. It really is the best for everyone involved. No drama for us.

I am divorced and about to be remarried. My ex and I email each other the visitation schedule we would like for the school year and then make the changes we need and work on it that way..summer also works this way..
We have ocassionally needed to change weekends and we do this by email also. I prefer not to talk to him b/c he tends to be very pushy and does NOT listen to what i say and it just end up with me feeling walked on. Email seems to be the way to go.. of course the general schedule was figured out during divorce.
I have learned not to be too flexible though b/c he will take advantage and not reciprocate..
My fiance has helped me set clear boundries with my ex who like I said tends to take advantage..
for example one time he arrived to drop off kids at my house right before I got home so kids and he came inside I arrived home to him using the master bedroom bathroom- my bathroom- this is not a house he lived in! this was before my fiance was in the picture and yes i told him not to do that again but reallyy??

I'm on my second marriage and I do have one child (who is now 16 years old), from my first marriage. She has lived with her dad for the past 5 years even though I am the custodial parent by law. It once was that my ex and I fought constantly about visitation because he did not like to pay child support, so he would do anything to get her to go live with him even if it meant destroying my current marriage. So, as my daughter got older, he pretty much brainwashed my daughter to go live with him. She reeked havoc in my household until I let her go. Glad that I did. It was a very tough decision in the beginning, but as the years have progressed, it worked out for the best because now that she is older, she sees her dad for what he truly is. As for me, I have a nice, calm, healthy household with my second hubby and our two boys.

I am divorced from a man I was with for over 20 years and we have one daughter who is 9. He had two children from his first marriage and those "discussions" many times had to be done between lawyers because he and his ex couldn't discuss anything rationally. We spent so much money and emotion that it was impossibly draining over the years.

When he and I separated, we vowed never to be like that. We talk regularly and have never had an issue discussing our daughter's schedule or anything else related to our daughter. We regularly renew our vow never to make our daughter's life, or our's, difficult by being unwilling to co-parent reasonably and rationally. I've also learned, finally, to not respond to any email or statement of his that is really about his anger and not me, at all.

I've been married once & am now separated. I try to discuss the visitation schedule with my husband without getting upset, but he wants the schedule to stay convenient for him & only him. He thinks as if he should only have (babysit) the kids while I'm working & he's off. He's unwilling to commit to keeping the kids on the weekends ever because this is his free time to do side jobs & whatever he wants, but in his mind I don't need any free time away from work & the kids, so anytime I bring up him keeping the kids for at least 1 Saturday of the month it's been a big argument. He refuses to do so unless he thinks it's for a really good reason, not just for me to have some me time, so a few times I've had to just tell him straight up that I'm not coming to get them on Friday & I won't be home for you to drop them off. He tried to tell me that that's neglect. I said "neglect"?? Really? Leaving my kids with their father for an extra day when we have no written agreement or consistency in the schedule?? I don't think so.

My husband has one ex-wife and one son. I have one son and he has a father that is active (using that term loosely) in his life. My step-son's mother has court ordered telephonic visitation. My son's father sees him every Sunday afternoon up to 8 pm and recently we increased his visitation to include overnights on Sundays. Last year we had temporary custody of my step-son which the judge later converted into permanent full custody.

If you can't come to equitable terms over the phone, there is a process in the courts called mediation where you both sit with a third party to come to terms. If there is no agreement there, you will be steered to the court system where a judge will determine based on legal criterior what is in the child's best interest. Make certain you have an attorney for this journey. It can make a difference.

I hope this helps.

I have been divorced twice (yup twice) and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (we don't live together) for 3 years (he has been divorced once and has no kids). We will probably NOT get married and god-willing and the creek don't rise (and the pill works) we won't be having any children...... see previous statement on how many times I've been divorced ;-)

I have a 10 year old daughter from my 2nd marriage. I have been divorced since June 2005 and I was awarded sole custody and relocated out of state. Her dad has fairly liberal visitation and she flies to see him as as unaccompanied minor when he decides to take her; which up until the last year was not very often.

We don't have a relationship. Up until about the last 2 years we didn't speak AT ALL and everything went through a court approved mediator. We stopped using the mediator in 2009 and at this point I have had maybe 5 voice-to-voice conversations with him and we do everything else via text -because he only gets 160 characters at a time that way!!!!!!!!!

His visitation was spelled out in the custodial arrangement and it stipulates that if he is going to exercise his visitation he has to let me know 30 days in advance and we split the airfare, which his 1/2 has to be reimbursed to me within 15 days. Because we are in two different states there really isn't that much flexibility; although he did want her for the weekend when he got re-married when he wouldn't have ordinarily had her and I let her go. I have also told him that because he chooses not to take her very often I would be flexible if the dates don't work, but so far he doesn't seem to want to have her visit unless he is off work and he only gets 2 weeks vacation each year, so that's what he does (even though he has 8 weeks total throughout the year - he usually takes her for spring break and 1 week in the summer. once he had her an additional week over christmas).

For a year (2009) he didn't take her at all and sent me an email that he didn't ever want to see her again. But then he got married and voila - sudden interest..... because it's awfully hard to explain to the new wife why you don't see your existing kid..... so at this point he is taking almost everything in the custody plan. Which I think is a good thing.

But, we still don't talk. I will text him about a month before there is allowed time and ask if he is going to take her. he replies back yes or no.

When we were separated and I lived there and we had that every other weekend and wed til 8 thing it was NIGHTMARE CITY with him always bringing him back and wanting to switch days and whatnot. Because I was getting calls from the daycare that he hadn't picked her up and when I would call him he would say it was because he decided he wanted to switch days and stuff like that. Those conversations were almost always 'heated' (ok screaming matches). So, that's when we went with a mediator and no flexibility.

I hope that answers your question.
B.