67 answers

Child Support During Summer Months

I was wondering if anyone had any experience with the "month long" visit that my husband is supposed to get during the summer. Problem is that his paycheck is garnished and sent directly to the Ex. So the month that we are supposed to have his son, she still gets paid. We do not make enough money to pay her, and to pay childcare for the month that he is with us... Is there ever a way for the courts to "withhold" the month that we are supposed to have him so we can use that money to get childcare for the month?

2 moms found this helpful

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I am facing this issue as well. I would love to hear what you find out. Would you mind letting me know if there is any way to get that changed for those month long visits? I tried to get an amendment to my divorce papers, but will have to consult an attorney to fight for that one. I would appreciate the info! Thanks!
my email is ____@____.com
Have a great day!
S.

1 mom found this helpful

Have him get ahold of Father's for Equal Rights. The time the child is with his father, the funds don't need to go to the mother since the father's expenses for the month are higher due to his care of his son. Keep reciepts. Is she spending as much on back to school and clothing? sounds like the father is doing all of that. Should be half/half.

I don't know about the legality of gettin the support for the month, and I don't want to sound nasty, but I think a week of 80% father and son time would probably be better for the boy then a month of nights and weekends.
I hope you do get something worked out so that you can hava a good summer visit.

More Answers

We (meaning my husband and I) are on both sides of the equation. The answer to your question though is NO! Texas doesn't consider that to me an exception but rather a priveledge that you get to keep him that long. If you'd like some relief from it though you could always request him two weeks at a time. That's what my ex-spouse does.
Consider this though: I know you know by law you're required to pay his health insurance and I never could understand why the non-custodial parent complained about this. But remember that child support is used to house, clothe, feed the child. While your step-son is there his ex-wife is still paying rent/mortgage, electricity, water ...you get the idea. Another this you might consider is take a look at your own daughter. Take a pen and paper, and for one month look at what you spend on her...then cut that in half. Is what your husband is sending even comparable to that?
In my case my husband pays $789 per month for ONE child. We have permenant custody of his son and we still pay her support for the daughter. If we were to go back to court she would get nothing...but we want his daughter taken care of. I get for my two girls $550 a month. He pays a substantial amount more for one child than I get for two!
I know it's hard watching your income go to an ex-wife, but I assure you it's not even a drop in the bucket to what she spends on him monthly. If she takes him to school, picks him up...the gas prices are outrageous and I don't see anyone raising the minimum child support percentages to reflect the cost of living? School lunches go up every year.
I never complain about my husband paying his child support even when his daughter is here. She stays extra weekends with us because her mom is single and we take her every opportunity we get.
I feel as though I can give an unbiased oppinion on the simple fact that I'm on both sides of the child support issue. It's his child and his duty and he gets him for a solid month I think that's terrific!

3 moms found this helpful

I am sorry you are in pain and anguish about this. Parenting, marriage and making it all work is hard, especially with an ex involoved. I agree with most of the advice seen here today. The one thing that is really getting to me as I read your post is the about me....you haven't even acknowledge that boy with even the title of "step-child". You and your husband should be excited to have this little person ,if only for a month, for him to be able to bond with his sister. Blessings to those little people that have to put up with us big people.

Good Luck and Enjoy your family time.

2 moms found this helpful

The custodial parents bills still continue during those summer months. They still pay for health insurance, braces payments, payments on Dr bills, the cost of maintaining the home, credit card payments for those glasses he needed, the clothes he needed, the sports he plays, etc. (obviously the situation is different for everyone, but you get the gist) So unless there is a mutual agreement between the custodial parent and the non-custodial parent - nope nothing can be done.

2 moms found this helpful

I have been where you are years ago, only with more than one child and 2 exes.....so consider yourself lucky in a way, only one ex and one child. It's an honorable thing your husband chose to do in taking good care and providing for his 1st child......that doesn't get negated because he chose to have another child. Please remember that your not "paying" or "giving" money to his ex-wife, he is merely providing some support for his child, that will help you if you can change your thought process, he's just providing for his child, which is only right. HE has 3 options 1) go back to court to change the order for his "month" 2) discuss this with his child's mother and see if she will agree to return partial payments for that month. or the most logical to me would be to just continue to take him to his normal daycare, which she most likely will have to pay 1/2 for to keep his spot anyway.
The whole idea of the father having an entire summer month with his child is so that they have adequate time to bond and live together and really spend time together, it's important for fathers to really be with their children. I would advise you to remember that the ex and her child came first and hopefully swallow some of your bitterness, it sounds like your husband is doing his best to provide for his child which is only right! Remember you'd want to be cared for also if it ever happens to you, and please don't say "oh, no never" because you just don't know what life has in store.

1 mom found this helpful

You can see the difference in understanding the situation from both points of view. Actually Ithink you are getting of pretty good by not paying for his daycare for the rest of the year. My court orders are that the boys dad pays their insurance, childsupport and 1/2 of daycare and meical expenses. Why shouldnt he? Just because he doesnt live with us anymore doesnt mean the exoense of the 11 months of the year they lived with me were somehow offset the exense of 1 stinkin month they spent with him. I jsut say suck it up.

If you know you are going to have to shell out some cash for 1 month in daycare in the summer, why can you not save that money for the other 11 months? Why do people think that just because someone gets childsupport they are rich?

My sons are now 13 & 15 and let me tell you, the big ol $300 a month I get goes really far..... I pay $160 just for their lunch at school. So maybe its not such a bad idea for you guys to get a little understanding of the tricky ways mothers have to budget while actually raising these kids on one income.

Raising kids is hard period.

1 mom found this helpful

All I can say is...join the club of second wives who disagree with the system! My husband has twins from his first marriage, so we pay $1,500 per month (which is equal to our house payment). We also pay half medical, half for braces, etc. And while we're entitiled to have them 6 weeks in the summer, we're lucky to get maybe 1 or 2. And yes, my husband has to take his vacation at the same time.

I understand where you're coming from - it's not fair. But I've been through this (8 years now) with enough lawyers to tell you that they will not lower or deduct the child support during summer visitation. The courts view it like this - the custodial parent still has to pay for the child's clothes, home, school enrollment, etc. we

There are 2 things you can do. First - stop buying them clothes. This is what the child support is for. Second, since your husband has a new child to support (your daughter) you can go back to the court and get a reduction on the support to his first child.

See, with twins , we would normally be required to pay $1,875 each month. But since my husband now has 2 additional kids (ours), we get a 20.63% discount. So we only pay $1,500.

Here's some law offices that advertise on Mamssource that are usually willing to offer a bit of free advice:

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1 mom found this helpful

The child support is meant to "averaged" out over the year so that we don't have the administrative mess of figuring out when to "withhhold" support. The guidelines take into account a month in the summer will be with the paying dad. Health insurance is an additional part of support and also considered when setting it under the guidelines. I can only assume he is paying the right amount of support, and health insurance premiums which is what the family code is set up to do.

Try to change your thinking on this and know that you probably have a much nicer standard of living, your husband is a great wage earner, and the kids don't have to feel bad about either parent's living conditions. If things change to make the support too high, your hubby can go back and modify it. J. D., family law attorney, wife and mom

1 mom found this helpful

I am facing this issue as well. I would love to hear what you find out. Would you mind letting me know if there is any way to get that changed for those month long visits? I tried to get an amendment to my divorce papers, but will have to consult an attorney to fight for that one. I would appreciate the info! Thanks!
my email is ____@____.com
Have a great day!
S.

1 mom found this helpful

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