I just wanted to say that I read the book "Love and Logic" much to the praises I have read on this website. I must say, I was a little skeptical being raised in a home where "spare the rod and spoil the child" was a mantra. I came out a good kid and never really needed a spanking, but still...
It worked WONDERS for my 18 month old!! I tried the "Supernanny" time out approach, and that was okay and we were getting somewhere. But it got to the point that he would do the behavior and then just walk to the timeout corner. I finally started to put him in his crib (my mother thought he would get confused so I didn't do that at first, I should've listened to my husband, lol) like the book recommended - we have had no inappropriate behavior in weeks! Just today he got upset during lunch and started to have a meltdown that required some quiet time, but other than that, smooth sailing.
My question is, does it really work this easily? My concern is that my son is still a bit young and I know that he was just trying to have some boundaries set. He really isn't talking yet, so he has no other ways to vent his frustrations. How can I keep up with the Love and Logic and help him communicate his anger at his age? Anyone else out there doing Love and Logic with there little ones?
It does work - and you might want to look into baby sign language. Talking may be right around the corner for him, but if not, having a way to communicate might help him even more. you can find books on baby signing at the library and half price books.
I think the genius of Love and Logic is that the choices they have take away the need to have all the battles. It also helps build self confidence.
No, it won't be completely smooth sailing, but it will cut down the fits if you do it right. They will have weeks where they don't test you and then out of the blue he'll be testing you on every little thing.
I give choices for everything. Do you want to put your pants on first or your shirt? Hold my right hand or left?
I love the empathy thing too!
Love and Logic workes magic in my home too!
We are a Love and Logic family too, but I understand your question about communicating and his frustration. You will definitely want to get the DVD (or book but the DVD is really good and quick) "Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Karp. I use these two resources for my children.
Glad it is working....you are doing it right. When it is not going so good, reevaluate whether you are doing your part right (not warning, too many words, etc.) Usually when things get crazy here, I am the reason.
We are starting a new Love and Logic class at my church in January. Cottonwood Creek Baptist Church in Allen, TX I believe it starts January 10th in the evening....may want to watch the website for more info if interested. Cost is free; workbook is about $15. Both parents encouraged to attend; childcare provided.
The Love and Logic approach is great. My kids are almost teens now and we used love and logic. Everywhere we go people complement me on my very well behaved kids. My two teach 4 and 5 year old's karate and are great with youngsters. They are helpful around the house, cleaning and doing some of the cooking. They are responsible and respectful. So the love and logic approach does work and gives you very well behaved kids who are wonderful to be around even when their teens.
It works. Stick to it. Keep your book like a reference. When you have teens you will have to run in the bedroom, close the door and reference what to do! And it works!
Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn.
I don't know the "Love & Logic" book (my baby has an 18-mo.-old), but I do know that the key to any discipline -- and what every child wants & needs -- is consistency. Follow through every time.
I used a booklet, "Under Loving Command" by Al & Pat Fabrizio that is still available online, to help remind me of how much the girls craved that consistency in discipline.
I think the key to Love and Logic is that it gives choices for the kids that you can live with without all the emotion that can cause more conflict. I have taken a couple of workshops through different churches that were really helpful since there was an experienced facilitator there who could answer questions.
Love and Logic works great for teens! I didn't find out about it until my kids were preteen and older. I really liked the the different stock phrases that I could use on my teens (i.e. I don't do things for people who don't treat me with respect.) They really can't argue with that. It also kept the emotion out of it which is what got us in some really ugly situations.
It's NEVER TOO EARLY TO START!! Your child will know what to expect, he knows the boundaries and consequenses which are there at every age whether we like it or not. Good for you! I have a teenage son and believe me, it's too late for me to institute anything new. So consistency is your friend. Go for it!
