Loss of Twin

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have a surviving twin. He is 8 years old and happy and healthy. We had no big complications. It's hard to remember some of the details about when my baby girl died in utero. I guess I put it out of my mind. We were in the middle of a state to state move with the Army, and then finding a new OB/GYN so it was weeks before I knew she had died. I thought I was still feeling her move, but apparently it was my little boy doing all the moving. She died around 22 weeks, and my son was born by emergency c-section at 32 weeks. Around 31 weeks I started having a brown discharge. It was the sac around my baby girl drying up. That caused me to start having contractions, and when I went to the hospital (a week later) they gave me steroids for my sons lungs, and tried to stop my labor. I started bleeding a few days later they did an emergency c-section at nearly 33 weeks. My son only spent 6 days in the hospital because he wasn't holding his body temp very well. He weighted 5lbs 10ozs at birth. The only complication he had from being born early was that his eyes were crossed. His eye muscles were not completely developed at birth. He had surgery at 8 months to correct that, and sees properly now with no crossed eyes. We were lucky because we were told it could have been worse. Stay strong for your surviving baby. Even 8 years later there are still days when I cry for the little girl I lost, but it does get easier. My prayers are with you. Feel free to contact me privately if you'd like.

my 37 year old husband was a twin. mom miscarried, thought she had lost her baby, and then realized that she was still pregnant. he is healthy, 6'4", and a great soul.

sorround yourself with positive energy and support. you and your husband will do well.

God bless you!!!

Hi K.,
I'm very sorry for your loss, but know you're not alone. During my first pregnancy, I had twins and lost one in the second month. I was also very concerned about the remaining twin, but with God's grace, my son was born strong and healthy at 41 weeks. Then 3 years later I got pregnant again with twins, and they both survived. It's hard to understand why things happen the way they do, but just know that God has a plan for each of us. Take time to grieve for your loss and also be strong for that baby you're carrying. You're not alone, and you can do this. God bless you and your family.

HI K.,
I am so sorry for the loss of your twin. 5 years ago I was in the same situation. I became pregnant with twins after going through IVF and at 15 weeks we found out one had passed away. The Dr's noticed at 13 weeks that the heart rate was unusually high and the baby wasn't growing that well. Thankfully the twin demise didn't affect the other baby. Who is now 4.5 and a proud big sister to a 6 month old sister. I did deliver early at 36 weeks and they believe it was because of the twin demise. I never passed the baby, it just became absorbed in the placenta.
Like you I focused on the other baby, which in turn I think helped me heal from the sudden loss of the twin.
I wish you the best of luck and look forward to your update in June!

Not me personally, but I know TWO people that were carrying twins and lost one. Both stories have happy endings, the remaining twin survived. One is my neice, and one is my friend's daughter. They are now 7 and 3. :-)

K..... I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. Even though you still are pregnant, clearly that does not diminish your loss. I have not had a twin loss, but my first baby was born still at 26 weeks. I was fortunate to find a wonderful website that has message boards. The women there practically saved my life and really helped me through it because you will find, unfortunately, that the only people who can help you during this time are people who have gone through a similar experience.

The website is www.nationalshareoffice. There definitely women on there who have lost one twin (often from TTTS). In fact, a good friend of mine lost one of her twins from TTTS, but the other twin was born alive (and is doing great to this day!)

when you get to the website, there are different sections - - bereaved parents, parenting after a loss, pregnancy after a loss (which might be a good area for you to go to), trying to conceive etc...

I pray for the health of your other twin....

K.,
You are not alone. My heart goes out to you and your husband. I too lost one of my twin sons at 22weeks. I carried his surviving twin till 39 weeks. My survivor is now a healthy active 3 yr old. The biggest help to me was finding other women that have been in my place and sharing our stories. It amazing that while everyone has their own story, they are so much alike. I would love to talk or offer any information I have. Feel free to contact me anytime you need a shoulder... ____@____.com

T.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Try not to worry too much - I think this is not that uncommon. My sister-in-law lost a twin about 12 weeks, but the rest of the pregnancy went fine and my nephew is now a big healthy nine-month old, so keep positive and focus on the other baby. I hope it all goes really well for you.

http://forums.delphiforums.com/n/main.asp?webtag=mommieso...

This is a great website for pregnancy and infant loss. After having 3 miscarriages, I found the greatest group of women who have a host of information.
Please go there and tell them E. sent you. Ask your question and you will find many with answers.
So sorry for your loss.

I have never gone through what you are experiencing, but I do want to tell you that I am sorry for your loss.

Dear K.,

I don't have any experience with carrying twins, but I had two miscarriages before my son. The OBGYNs never did figure out why, though my allergist is convinced it was because of my asthema. I'm also in my 30's, so the complications really scared me...but thank G-d, I now have a healthy son and am due again in a couple weeks.

When I had the miscarriages, I heard from SO many women that they went through the same thing. It seems like almost every woman who tries to have kids faces a serious complication at some point. It's painful and scary, but we get through it, and we have other successful pregnancies and healthy children. Please G-d, everything will go smoothly for the remaining twin.

Keep you spirits up. Our hearts are all with you.

My youngest daughter was the survivor. I lost the other one during my 7th week. I was put on high risk after that. She's doing wonderful now...2 1/2 years old. Just take it easy and try not to stress.

I lost my brother in the womb...

Dear K.,

I am so sorry for your loss, and although I did not loose a twin my first pregnancy resulted also in miscarriage at 15 weeks. I remember when I became pregnant again I worried constantly until I passed the critical mark. I am sure you know that adding stress is not good for you or the baby (easier said then done I know) but try to put it out of your mind and focus on the positive the beautiful baby you are carrying. I personally know 3 women this happened to (their other children attend my daycare) and they carried the other twin full term and the babies were all beautiful and healthy. I am sure your doctor will monitor you closely and if there were any problems he would have detected them already. Try to relax and plan for your new arrival. Wow a summer baby, my daughter was born in June as well it is a nice time of the year to deliver, you are not stuck in the house due to cold weather. Good luck to you and Happy New Year!!!

this baby should be fine, i have a friend that this happened with as well. her daughter, now 9 yrs. is just fine. fdplease know that at probably some soul level the survivor will have the memory of the lost twin. it's ok, and they survive just fine. at some point in the survivors life, you may want to let them know that htey were a twin without any of the guilt that they may associate with it.
hope this helps,
mom of a 14yr and 9 yr old girls

K.,
I am so sorry for your loss! I know how devasting it is. I was pregnant with triplets and I lost my twins at 12 weeks. My OB/GYN sent me to see a maternal and fetal medicine specialist and after it was determined that my twins were sharing the same placenta and it was a risky and dangerous pregnancy I ended up having a multi-fetal reduction procedure performed. Before the procedure was done I had to have a CVS test done on the singelton baby. The test results came back that everything was okay with that baby and we found out we were having a baby boy!! When I had to have the reduction done I was devasted. It has been a year this past weekend that I lost my twins. I still look at my u/s pictures from them and I see 3 sacs. I still cry and think about them. But, I am happy to say that I gave birth to that singleton baby boy on June 28, 2008. His name is Jack Thomas and he is perfect!! After the reduction I had appointments every month and then every 2 weeks until birth at the specialist office. They monitored me and the baby. I was told after the loss of the twins that there was a chance that we could also lose the singleton baby as well up until my 18th week of pregnancy. Those 6 weeks were very stressful. Every pain, cramp, or just anything worried me. I am sure that everything will be just fine with you. Talk to your doctors about your concerns. Good Luck to you and please keep us informed.

I am so sorry for your loss. I didnt lose a twin, but I did lose a 17 weeker that only made it to 14-15 weeks. We were induced and gave birth to him. He was beautiful and perfect and fit in my hand. He was 5 inches long. Here is some info on loss, some sites I've saved through our journey.
http://pregnancyloss.info/
And here is something to remember your little one.
http://miscarriageblankets.blogspot.com/
I wish I could offer you some hope for your surviving twin, but I couldnt find much info on the web. What did your doc say?

Dear K., I am so sorry for your loss and you will be in my prayers. This happened to my friend years ago, before technology. She had some bleeding and was told to rest. Carried full term and only found during delivery that there were 2 sacks of water and one twin was lost.
She did not know during the pregnancy and had no time to worry or mourn. I hope you can rest in the fact that our Good Lord knows what is best. I have always believed that a mis-carried child may have had medical problems and God could take care of him or her. Try now to focus on the little one growing inside you. Yes you will mourn, and if you know the sex you can and should name your child. He or she is your baby's sister or brother and will be the angel in heaven to watch over all of your family. I will pray that all will be well. Many Blessings, Grandma Mary

I am very sorry for your loss. I have not personally experienced this, but I have 3 perfectly healthy adult friends who are all a surviving twin.

Hi K.
So sorry for your loss. Your singleton needs you now!!!
So mourn your loss, but rejoice in the singleton. No one ever said motherhood was easy. It is however wonderful, each child has different needs. Are you having a boy or a girl? Have they told you about size?
God bless you, and there is a time to be born and it is in June '09 Let it be so Lord.
K. --- SAHM married 38 years ---- adult children 37, 32, and twins 18, born in June, 1990. Long story but we Praise God for our twins.

K.,

while i have never been pregnant with twins i think i might be able to give you some hope.

My name is K. and my twin sister holly was lost inutero as well. i am a 25 year old mother of 1.5 and all is well with me. relax and dont worry-well try not to worry as much as you can. do everything your dr tells you. have hope that all will be well.

i hope i have helped in some way,
K.