Lonely Nights

I have been in Seattle area for 3 and a half years now. It was hard to make friends and now that I finally made some I like I am moving back to Spoakne in June. I to have a depression disorder and it is hard. My question to you is do you have a day that is just for you and your hubby??? With out the baby? In a marriage it is a give and take. I was in thesame situation. I worked office hours for an attorney and my now ex worked restaurant/bar hours. I got really depressed and asked for him to take sometime off to spend with me. He finally did. It helped.

Good luck.

Dear Jen,

Thatz okay...I would say, first you try to get help for ur depression disorder. After ur baby goes to bed
you have a whole lot of time !!You could utilize ur time like anything !!Pursue ur hobby, read any good books, watch tv, soothing light musics, or write some advice to other moms in this community, etc.then you will feel more & more comfortable & relaxed, helps to get a good night sleep. You have a nice chance to make friends in ur surroundings itself,if you go to ur park w/ur baby or just an evening walk will do, (I mean when the weather looks really pleasant for ur baby)u will definitely find some good friends, thatz how I made friends when I came to Seattle for the first time from another country. It says like "If there is a will, there is a way"

Good luck dear friend,

Set yourself up with special treats for the time you are apart from your husband, or try to go down at the same time as your baby by getting up earlier. Be sure with depression you are incorporating exercise in your day and of course omega 3 oils but now that the sun is gone, please use cod liver oil which includes vitamin d that the sun would give you. Full spectrum lights are also very helpful. Do you attend church? and if you can network with other moms to babysit your and their little ones while you exercise, you are sure to meet up with friends soon. all the best

I'm a single mom, and spend a lot of nights alone, but I've been able to find some friends I can talk to on the phone a lot. I found some while I was taking a few classes at the community college. Some from livejournal, and a few other on-line groups. And some from work. Some of my friends from work were just regular customers. The big change for me is when I stopped waiting for people to invite me to hang out with them, and just started asking people myself. Heck, I live in Seattle, I'd be happy to go have a coffee with you sometime, and talk about babies and kids, or whatever.

Hi J.,

I've been there, done that.. not a fun place to be but I can tell you from experience that you need to find some activities that will open you up to gaining some new friendships to involve you more in your community, etc. It will help keep you from falling further and further into your 'hole'. It doesn't always feel comfortable to step outside of your box, and that is exactly how it should be. If your not feeling a little out of the norm, then your not doing it right. Challenge yourself, think of things you enjoy doing and then look up places in the area that offer classes, groups, seminars, etc. If you live in the Bellevue area, your fortunate, well Seattle even.. there are so many things to do and wonderful people to do them with.
So, I guess my question is to you.. do you THINK your going through a depression? Or have you been diagnosed and someone is working with you on either meds and therapy or both?
Hopefully you have seeked help.. it is so important that you do even to nip it in the bud now, and work on things going forward. Please don't let it get too far advanced. Especially with a little one at home.. you'll wish you could go back and recoop those precious times you missed because of the fog your in.. Blessings hon, and please feel free to send me a message personally for more informational things to do to try and pull yourself out of this.. and it is a very prevalant condition, so don't think this singles you out to be a bad mom or bad person etc. Many people suffer from depression and are living perfectly normal and healthy lives because they have gotten control of it.

Dear Jen,
I really feel for you. Becoming a mom is hard enough, doing it on your own with out friend support is nigh impossible. I highly recommend finding some Mom groups. Check your local library to see if they have any information.

I also recommend a national organization called MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). You can go to there website and find where a one is meeting near you. http://www.mops.org/ These groups are often associated with churches. Don't be afraid. They aren't usually preachy. Usually the groups is just a bunch of moms having fun together encouraging each other.

Hugs to you. I will keep you in my prayers.