Jury Duty for a SAHM with No Child Care

Updated on January 23, 2012
A.M. asks from Sterling Heights, MI
37 answers

Wow am I in a fix. I have been summoned to appear for jury duty and I have no idea how I am going to manage it. I have to be "on call" for 2 weeks, meaning I call in after 6 pm and am either instructed to appear the next morning at 7:45 (meaning I leave my house at 6:15) or to not appear but call in again the next night. I am supposed to do this for two weeks. I want to serve and do my duty, but I just don't know how to manage it.

Here's my problem. I am a stay-at-home-mom with a 3 yr.old and a 5 yr.old. The 3 yr. old is NOT in preschool and the 5 yr. old is in kindergartedn from 9:00-3:50, LONG after I have to be at court and LONG before I would be done. I have no child care arrangements at all because I stay at home. I have no family where I live, and my husband has a full-time job and uses up ALL of his sick leave because of his disability (which also makes it hard for him to care for our children by himself for long periods of time). The only friends I have all have at least two children. ALL of our kids (my friends and I) have to ride in car seats. SO, even if my friends could watch my kids, there is no way they could fit all four car seats in one vehicle for the trips to school and back. Our kids can't ride the bus either because they don't go to their homeschool. My friends with kids at other schools wouldn't be able to take my daughter to school AND still take their kids to another school 1/2 hour away.

You can't just call a day care center and say, "Hey, I want you to watch my kids for two weeks - who knows for how long, and Oh, by the way, you might be watching them Monday, ha, just kidding, it's Tuesday, oops, I mean Wednesday, oh just wait for us; we may or may not show up."

*****I explained ALL OF THIS about the disabled husband etc. IN WRITING on the paperwork they provided when I recieved the first paperwork about jury duty, and "they" told me it wasn't a good enough excuse, that if they excused every mother of young children, they would never have jurors. I really don't mind doing my duty, but what do I do with my kids? I am NOT hiring a stranger to take care of them at my house, and even if I were willing, once again, I can't hire someone and say I might need you tomorrow, I'll let you know after 6 pm every night if I need you the next day or not. Just put your life on hold for me and I might or might not be paying you."

I sure hope one of you can give me some advice, because I am clueless.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all your advice. I did as some of you suggested and wrote a second letter requesting my duty be deferred until summer (after the school year). That was the trick. I'll be ready with child care when June rolls around!

Thank you also to those who said I need a back-up plan; I understand your concern. I do have plenty of people who could watch my kids for a few hours or even for a day, just not who could watch them EVERY day for two-four weeks during the school year. If I needed long-term help due to a major illness/injury, I could ask family to fly out here to help, but I can't ask them to take off work, change their plans, and pay for their plane tickets because I MIGHT or MIGHT NOT have jury duty. The uncertainty of jury duty was the biggest part of the problem. Thanks again!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Yep!

Bring EVERYONE with you.

Lots of people "say" things like "no childcare", but when push comes to shove, most actually have options and show up solo. Those who come in with kids, or with disabled spouses, are usually sent home that day with an excused from duty slip or a deferrment.

2 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Does it specifically prohibit bringing children? If it doesn't just bring them with you, what are they going to do, fire you?

1 mom found this helpful
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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

If you were on trial, would you want some loser who had nothing better to do and could care less or would you want someone like "YOU", who MIGHT care?

Find a way to get you children cared for....be a good citizen.

Blessings....

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M.P.

answers from Sacramento on

I would just show up with my kids! You'll get excused for sure! LOL I can't believe that they don't consider that to be a hardship!

4 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

They really don't have a "hardship deferment"? If you're the caretaker of small children or sick or elderly people, you can get that here. I've gotten it when I was a SAHM. It also didn't require I do jury duty at some point in the future -it just excused me.

If you really can't do that, show up with the kids. You'll be excused. They can't force you to find childcare.

4 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

You can defer, or show up with your kids. Seriously. My cousin just showed up with her kids and they excused her. It went on record that she showed up to serve.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from New York on

If they call you in, show up with the kids. Court really needs to provide daycare for jurors, on site. I don't know what they think, that you just have family and friends that stay home and are willing to watch kids for free? When they ask why you've shown up with your children, explain that you are their primary caregiver, that your lack of income does not allow you to pay daycare for two kids, that there is no daycare arrangement even if they paid you for it that would accommodate a maybe/temporary/I'll let you know the night before for two weeks and then I wont need you anymore situation, that your oldest is missing school for this, and that you'd be happy to serve if they gave you a nanny for free to care for the younger kid and take the older one to school. They may assume that you have friends who will do you a favor for free, or that you have local grandparents who don't work or whatever. Some SAHP's do have arrangements they can make. I would say that if they summon you, call and let them know that you were not successful in procuring free childcare and you will need to bring the kids. Let them know that the only other options are for you not to appear, or to leave the children at home alone, and neither seemed acceptable.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.J.

answers from Detroit on

Hi,
I got my jury notice a month after having my second child. I called (Wayne County) and told them I was nursing. They asked me how long I hope to nurse and I told them for at least a year. Almost exactly a year later, I got another notice. I called and told them I had no where to send the kids as they were both home with me all day, I was still nursing, and my only choice was to bring them along. They didn't like it and gave me a hard time, but they excused me.

Like you, I have no problem doing my duty. I would actually like to serve on a jury, but it's ridiculous how difficult they make it.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

In Illinois you can ask for a deferment also, I did so myself even though I would have loved to have gone to jury duty. They haven't called me back ever!!! Anyway, good luck with this. It is so frustrating.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from Portland on

I have been excused several times after I told them I am a SAHM. So far so good. Now that my kids are in school I suppose I could do it....and I'm sure I'll get nailed at some point. Ugh. I've already served enough before having kids.

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

My husband just suggested hiring a baby sitter to watch the kids WITH your husband. That way he wouldn't have to juggle the kids alone, but the kids would still be with someone you/they trust. I know you mentioned your husband's sick days are spoken for but with the situation being what it is, maybe this is a good compromise.

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Whatever happens, this seems to be a good time to reconsider you babysitting options. What if you were hospitalized? Or you and your husband? You might ask around with your neighbors or friends and start hiring people here and there to test them out so you're not stuck in a bind where there is a real emergency.

It's like having that emergency fund for car repairs or lay offs. Something you don't want to have to use, but are grateful for it when you have it available to you.

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

Every court system is different but from what I understood for my court system if I had any kids in the house hold that were not in school and did not have primary child care outside of the home I could be excused. For me I work full time so it stands to reason that I have to have child care outside of the home so I can not be excused.

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M.Y.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

Some states have family friendly jury duty laws and statutes. If your state isn't currently "family friendly", you could write to your state legislator(s), though that might not be much help in the short term. Here's a website you might find interesting:

http://www.familyfriendlyjuryduty.org/JuryStates/JuryStat...

Good luck!

Also, here's a link to a sample letter to your legislator:

http://familyfriendlyjuryduty.org/JuryDutyFEDS/JuryDutyFE...

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S.H.

answers from Hartford on

In CT being a SAHM with no childcare is one of the excuses either provided on the jury slip or when you call in (I can't remember which). It was very easy for me to opt-out. I would not feel pressured to perform jury-duty, but I would persist until you speak to someone in authority who isn't embittered by awesome moms who choose to stay-at-home and take care of their children. As a side note, the couple of times that I did call the night before, they didn't even need me.

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K.L.

answers from Des Moines on

I don't understand why a SAHM doesn't have the choice of getting off of jury duty! What are they supposed to do with the kids!? I'm not saying I want out of my duty when the time comes again, but I don't get how being a SAHM doesn't get you out of it!

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

You are in kind of a pickle...aren't you? Glad I don't have to worry about it, my son is in law enforcement...which excuses me. You can only try to be dismissed...but don't wait long. Also...for future use....you should always have a backup plan for childcare.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

Here in Texas there is a box to check that says " If you have children twelve or under, a SAHM and don't have any childcare, you can get out of it". I have done it twice now and had no problems whatsoever...no questions asked. If you are unable to do that where you live, I would do what some of the other's have said and show up with you children. I would think that you would be excused then. Good luck to you.

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P.W.

answers from Lexington on

Be careful if you show up with your kids, you can be found in contempt.

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

I would explain to them that you have no family to help watch your child. They live in other states or not around? (Not real sure why the grandparents arent around but you do so you tell them ) Than tell them what would they like you to do with your kids if your called for duty. Than if they still make you do it take your kid with you. If they say something you tell them you don't have a sitter n you told them and they still made you show.

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A.S.

answers from Miami on

Isn't there something on the summons that you can tear off and write something on to ask for a dismissal? I would do that instead of calling them; actually here in FL that IS what you'd have to do. You write down why you want to be excused, mail it in, and they will mail somethng back to you letting you know if youre excused or not.

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M.A.

answers from Detroit on

My advice is to stop making excuses and do your civic duty. In Michigan, we cannot always get a deferral. Find some sitters, one for the 5 year old and another for the 3 year old.

My outside of the home job is important, its the only one my household has, and I could come up with lots of excuses like you are, but you need to man up and do what you need to do. If you don't do it now, they'll summons you again and it could be a more inconvenient time.

Furthermore, I don't know anyone who jumps up and down with joy upon getting a jury duty summons. @@

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I do not see why you camnot be excused from this. You need to call and talk to someone different. I got a summons two days after I got out of the hospital with my son. I was able to check a box on the form to indicate that I was in your same situation. I was excused.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I am from FL and SAHMs of children under 6 are NOT required to serve jury duty. There is a box right on the post card that you can check stating this. Surely, your state has a similar exemption.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

we are soooo thankful that the court system is working with my DH. His work schedule is a heavy load, with my DH providing the only coverage at work....before & after the normal work day M-Th. He works 12 1/2 hours days. The rest of the dept comes on at 8-4....

When explained to the court clerk, she brokered a deal with the judge. My DH calls in once a week & only has to appear on Fridays! Wow, he is so thankful....because in our neck of the woods, jury duty is a full 3 months! Oh, & his employer does not pay for jury duty. :(

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M.W.

answers from Greensboro on

It's hard to say since you are not sure if you will even have to go yet. You could just show up with the kids when the time comes or you could try a drop-in style daycare which I am pretty sure they have in your area. They usually don't require any set schedule so that could be really convenient.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

My advise would be that when you received the first paperwork that you used certain wording to express why your situation isn't just that you have young children but something more..."Appearing for jury duty would cause undue, financial and logistical burden for me and my family. I am a stay at home mom w/ a disabled husband. I have two young children and have no family or other support system that could get my oldest to and from school on time and watch my youngest or my oldest after school. I do not have childcare for my youngest nor can I afford drop-in care".

That may have helped but there is never any guarantee. When is the first day you are expected? I ask mainly to find out if you have time to appeal to the court again. If not, sounds like at this point you should do one of two things...find drop-in care or a friend that can help you out (explain the situation) for at least Monday OR get your husband to handle things for the first day (by the way, does the school have drop-in care to help w/ the timing a bit?). Then when you appear on Monday (or the first day they want you), plead your case then.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Do you go to a church? Many churches have daycares (I know ours does) and I'm sure they would work to fit you in if you talked to them about it.

Around here we have a childcare center that allows for hourly, drop in child care. Maybe there is something around you that does the same?

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A.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Do you know a parent in your daughter's preschool class that would keep her before/after school? Then you could take your son to your friend's house. That way she goes to school. If you can't think of someone, ask her teacher.

L.M.

answers from New York on

I was excused for jury duty for being the primary care provider for my kids. I worked part time at the time, but was home with the kids all of the other days. I got a letter from my boss stating my working hours, and showed my kids birth certificates and I was done.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

In California, you can ask for a deferrment.
However, having a job, having kids, etc, won't get you out of it. They don't accept those as excuses.
If you have never been called before, at least in California, there is a place to check on the summons where you can indicate a time you expect to be ready. It can be like 3, 6, or 9 months.
You put a date and send it back. It can even be faxed.

Also keep in mind that more than half of people who get summoned for jury duty never get called to actually serve. So, you don't want to go into a flurry about why you can't do it. It makes it sound like you're just trying to get out of it. They don't like that.

Serving on a jury is considered a citizen's "duty". If you word things the right way, they will work with you.
I've received many summons and have never had to serve for one reason or another.

If you don't serve, your name just keeps getting recycled so it's not a personal thing.

I think you might have shot yourself in the foot with too many excuses. No offense. If you seem willing, but just not on this date, they usually work with you. At least in my experience.

Best wishes to you.

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I can't believe they won't let you get out of it. I've been called for it I think 2 or 3 times and each time I have been able to get out of it because I don't have any other care for my kids. I have never done jury duty before. I think even the first time it was when I was in college and I couldn't miss my classes so I was able to get out of it because I was a student. I hope you are able to talk to them and tell them that you are the only caregiver of your children and you have to be there for them. Good luck!

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I just saw that you DID submit a written request. Well... my best advice is to start talking to your friends and neighbors... inconvenient as it is, you'll need to find SOMEONE who can watch your kids. For the 5 year old... is there a before/after care program at school... You can usually do a drop in day there.

Your husband might have to plan to take a day or two off of work if you can't find anyone else to watch this kids.

Sorry
T.

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

Wow! Wouldn't want to live in your county! Pay me $7 a day so that I can hire a babysitter?? No! We have a box to check for having dependents to care for. Since I'm a stay at home mom and I work watching kids, I check it every time!

M.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Wow! Anyone who told you to "man up and quit making excuses" is rude.

You've got simple choices since they've already denied your request to postpone because they felt your reasons weren't good enough. 1.....work something out with your friends......yes, it might be inconvenient but you'll have to repay them with a similar favor sometime down the road......2. Research and hire a babysitter with the understanding that you will confirm with them each evening as soon as you know for sure if you're needed or not.

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J.J.

answers from San Francisco on

My Mom called the day before and told them she was sick (she was) and they excused her for one year...

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I was able to write a letter stating my difficulties as instructed on the back of the summons. Although I mailed it and never heard from them, I assume it was fine because I haven't been contacted about a missed duty, and that was two years ago. I don't think in my case they even wanted a phone call; they specifically said if there were circumstances that prevented us from appearing, write a letter. I'm sure you can get out of it- you'll make up for it later in life when your kids aren't so young!

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