I've Separated from My Husband and Am Questioning My Decision, NEED Advice!

Girl, go get your husband and your family back! You can be happy with yur husband, but it is a choice you will have to make. If counseling was not working for you, then get a new counselor. I have to tell you that cheating is such an unbearable pain that if he was willing to take you back and work on things, count your blessings!

I know that you all have a lot of problems to work on, but they are your problems. When you bring a 3rd party into your marriage, then that only adds to your problems and adds his problems to yours as well. I am so sorry that you were not happy in yoru marriage, but the alcoholism and the sex issue are things that you can work on together, but both of you must be willing.

Talk to him, beg his forgiveness and tell him you want your family back and you are willing to work with him and do what it takes to make that happen. You see now that the grass is not greener on the other side, get your family back and turn to God fo the answers. (And end all contact with the outsider or I am telling you that this will keep complicating your life).

Talk to your husband. It takes both of you to put things back together, but if you both want it, it is not impossible. Sounds like there are other issues you need to address(Alcohol,etc) however, if you work on them together, it can bring you two closer. Talk to your husband and give up your lover if you want to make this work. Many couples report that their relationship is much better when they work thru their issues. Remember sex is only one way to have intimacy. As you age, many times the sex lessen. since your husband is older, this could be part of his problem. Also he may need to get a medical checkup, his hormone levels could be off, or the alcohol could be affecting him as well. Best of luck.

No one is perfect.....if you are feeling like you want to turn back..why not??? I mean why should someone go forward if their inner-voice is saying different?? I remember seeing a special about women trusting their inner-voice and how we don't so many times and how we lose that as we grow from childhood.
Ok, you had an affair you told your husband...somethings you need to ask yourself.
1. Is my husband willing to forgive me and not put it in my face everyday if we get back together???
2. Am I willing to forgive myself, leaving guilt behind me and not bring it up everyday???
3. Is there a foundation in my marriage that can be built upon and renew our relationship in all areas??? yes even sex
4. Can I let go of this lover and he and I have no more contact with each other once I return to my husband???
5. Can my husband trust me and I trust myself after I would return to my marriage???
Now people talk about love, love is easy and even after a divorce you can still love someone...what is hard is some of the things I mentioned, can you over come these, have answers for them.
Listen, many people go up until their wedding day and then want to change their minds and don't listen to their inner-voice get married and wish they didn't....at anytime they really could back out....you can go back in if you think it can work ...what I'm saying is why go forward with a divorce just because you have started to set the stage and wheels in motion by getting an apartment, furniture etc...you can at any point change your mind but remember you have some questions to ask yourself and your husband in all fairness.
You can turn back around sit down see if some of my questions help you when you answer them...maybe they will, maybe not....maybe you already have the answers.
I hope this helps some, you mentioned your husband had been drinking...well that could explain the sex drive or lack of sex drive. Many people think when they drink it makes you feel sexual in fact for some men it's totally the opposite effect for them. So him stopping the drinking maybe helpful in your relationship on many levels.
I hope things work out for you and you find the answer you are seeking.