E.W. asks from Saint Clair Shores, MI on April 09, 2008
Is Touching Genitals Normal for a 4 Year Old?
My 4 year old daughter has recently started touching her "girly parts." During bath time she will play down there and even rub herself through her jeans during the day. Should we just ignore it or should I tell her it's wrong? She hasn't been exposed to movies or situations that could spur this so I don't know what to do.
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S.R. answers from Detroit on April 10, 2008
This is normal and is not "wrong." What you may want to tell her is that this is okay to do in private (when she is alone).
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L.G. answers from Detroit on April 10, 2008
I would imagine it's normal. When you find something that feels good, you will do it again.
Anyway, my son discovered his parts and would frequently touch himself. He already knew about good touch/bad touch at this point. I explained to him that this was a sort of bad touch. If he feels he has to do it, he has to be in his room (or the bathroom) with the door closed. It might feel good, but it's not appropriate to do it were others can see you.
I hope this helps.
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D.K. answers from Saginaw on April 10, 2008
J.T. answers from Detroit on April 09, 2008
It is perfectly normal to an extent. I guess if it was constant I would be wondering if she maybe has an infection you are not aware of...have you asked her if she is sore, or itchy there?
I would tell her in a kind way that is not appropriate, however you don't wanna make too big of a deal out of it, because then it becomes something dirty to her, and it is natural.
I have an 11 yr old girl and 2 boys that are 7 and 9...and through the years I have learned that there is so much that is natural when it comes to exploring their bodies, and even other siblings and friends. I can remember a few times I freaked out!!! But found out by talking to others it is normal. Just teach her that, and make her comfortable now talking to you...you will figure it out!
good luck,
J.
1 mom found this helpful
S.R. answers from Detroit on April 10, 2008
This is normal and is not "wrong." What you may want to tell her is that this is okay to do in private (when she is alone).
1 mom found this helpful
E.K. answers from Kalamazoo on April 10, 2008
I worked at a daycare for a few years and though I haven't experienced this personally, there were a few children at the daycare with this issue. We dealt with it by explaining that touching this area was something that needed to be done in private, and if we saw them doing it out in the open, we asked them to go to the bathroom. They usually got bored with it in a few weeks.
L.G. answers from Detroit on April 10, 2008
I would imagine it's normal. When you find something that feels good, you will do it again.
Anyway, my son discovered his parts and would frequently touch himself. He already knew about good touch/bad touch at this point. I explained to him that this was a sort of bad touch. If he feels he has to do it, he has to be in his room (or the bathroom) with the door closed. It might feel good, but it's not appropriate to do it were others can see you.
I hope this helps.
D.S. answers from Detroit on April 10, 2008
Completely normal. My 31/2 year-old girl does this too and we have told her that it is something done in private and should not be done in front of people. The only thing I do suggest is to make sure that she doesn't have a yeast infection or having any kind of reaction to soaps or detergents.
J.E. answers from Lansing on April 10, 2008
My friend's 4-year-old went through this same stage. Her pediatrician said it was normal and she would outgrow it but in the meantime advised my friend to not make a big deal of it but just tell her daughter that that was something people do in private so if you want to touch yourself there, you'll have to go to your room. More often that not, it wasn't a conscious thing and her daughter wanted to stay with her mom and play with her toys much more than be by herself.
E.S. answers from Grand Rapids on April 10, 2008
It is TOTALLY natural. I don't really have any advise for you, but I do have a funny story I have to share.....I to had the same concerns with my 4 yr. old daughter when I walked into her room and found her pantless on the bed - legs wide open just looking at it and touching. She told me it looked funny and asked me what it was. I just acted like it was no big deal and told her those were private parts, and the only time private parts should come out is when it's bathtime or maybe at the Dr. A couple days later, same thing, up on the bed legs apart. Again, not wanting to make a big deal out of it for fear of encouraging her I asked her what she was doing. And she looked me straight in the eye and with her eyes all big and her most serious face - she said "momma, my private part has a hole in it!!" She was devastated. After I did my best to stifle a laugh I calmly told her that it was supposed to - but please don't try to put anything in it. She just said OK and that was the last time I caught her like that. so far she seems to have passed through that phase somewhat - I wish you luck!
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