4 Year Old Grandson Exploring Himself Sexually

Updated on September 20, 2010
T.W. asks from New York, NY
8 answers

my daughter and i were wondering if its normal behavior for her son my grandson to be exploring himself sexually, also he and my youngest granddaughter were playin in the play room and my son-in-law the father of the youngest grandaughter (shes 2) opened the door she had her pull up off and my 4 year old grandson ran to the other side of the room we are alarmed but dont want to overreact if this is normal,I dont remember my son doing this kind of thing when he was that age? Any help please?

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So What Happened?

Thanks to all for your responses, they were very helpful in confirming what my gut instincts were in that to explain in kid english to the grandson to do such exploring in private but not to touch someone elses private areas this meaning his 2 yr old cousin, to chandra m., the pull up reference was that she was wearing a pull up(like a diaper) and she had it off, she sometimes does this if she is wet also, I did explain all this to my daughter as well making sure to note not to shame or ridicule for this but also emphasizing to be careful what her child is seeing mommy and daddy do in private, thanks again, I just happened upon this site and its great I will be back!

More Answers

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R.M.

answers from Portland on

Hi T.,

It is perfectly normal for a 4 year old child of any sex to question the differences between girls and boys. At this age, children realize there is a difference, and just like understanding why horses and zebras are different, children want to know why boys and girls are different.

Do not punish or shame your grandchildren, but use books and age appropriate discussions to help your child understand the difference.

If you grandchildren masterbate, which may happen, again, do not shame or punish, because at this age it is not sexual, but just feels good. Send them to their room or bathroom, explaining that it is a private act, like using the potty.

I hope this helps!

R. Magby

5 moms found this helpful
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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

It isn't abnormal. Kids start to become aware of their bodies at a young age (2 to 3) but have no context of what it means. Now is a good time to have a talk about what is private and what is inapropriate (for him to do or for others to do to him). this needs to be done calmly like any other lesson we give our kids.

4 moms found this helpful
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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

They are just exploring...don't let adult thinking pervert their actions. Encourage him to do it in private. All boys seem to enjoy exploring themselves. What you walked in and saw was just a 'show and tell'...I have something hanging and you (grandaughter does not), can I see it?

3 moms found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Well kids are curious but I would explain that is not apporiate behavior in public. If he needs to touch his private area do so in the bathroom when no one else is around.
He might be wondering if boys and girls are different. Don't give him an adult explaination just a quick kid answer.
Also there is no reason for them to keep the door closed while playing I think its asking for problems.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.B.

answers from Jamestown on

The phallic stage is the third stage of Freud’s stages of psychosexual development, lasting from age three years to six years. According to Freud, the genitals are the primary erogenous zone and pleasure is derived from genital stimulation. The primary conflict at this stage is a desire to possess the opposite-sex parent. Completion of this stage results in identifying with the same-sex parent.

http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/ss/p...

1 mom found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Normal. Just checking each other out. Only weird if adults make it weird.
Good time to talk to the 4 yo about "p****** p****" being the parts that go in a bathing suit, etc. No O. touches your p****** p**** except mom, dad, grandma, doctor, etc.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from New York on

T., "exploring himself sexually" means that he is m***********, that he is t******* h******, which is fine as long as he does it in private. Having a 2 year old take her pullup off is not exploring himself and is not acceptable. Time for his mom or dad to have a discussion with him about p****** p****, yours and other people's, and what is and is not appropriate.

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C.M.

answers from New York on

What exactly do you mean by pull up off? While sexual exploration and exploration of body parts is perfectly normal, if a two year old is touching the opposite sex and already knows exactly what to do there is some reason for concern (and I speak from experience, not just paranoia). Chances are it's nothing, however I would still ask both of them (in a very casual way) if anyone ever touches them in their private area. One sign of a molested child is that they "seduce" other kidcs b/c they want to show them what they know. That's. A sign that's often ignored b/c it's looked at as kids exploring and kids being kids. But, it's very important to have regular questioning to make sure that things are just for exploratory purposes and to talk to the kids about privacy od their bodies. Just make sure it's in a comfortable way that they aren't afraid or ashamed to talk to you about it.

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