Irrefutable Toddler Logic

Updated on July 16, 2014
S.E. asks from Landenberg, PA
19 answers

I am out of the toddler years. But, I exquisitely recall the agony of perfect toddler logic. But, I can't recall any specific examples!

So please share with me you examples of perfect - flawed - toddler logic!

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Featured Answers

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

mom says 'will you two just get along with each other?'
toddler replies 'i don't like his chother. i just want to play with my chother.'
they both still 'chother' sometimes! i love it.
:) khairete
S.

8 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

My 4 year old did a perfect syllogism a few months back. It was hilarious. Ready:

New York is real.( People living in New York are real.) Spider man lives in New York. Thus Spider-man is real.

I don't remember the toddler years, but both of my kids are super logical. My oldest has the most amazing reasons for the dumbest things ever. But she's always in explication mode. I can't wait to see what she becomes when she grows up.

8 moms found this helpful

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

My son went thru a phase around age 3 that he would only wear long sleeves regardless of the temperature because he thought if he wore short sleeves his arms would also be shorter

7 moms found this helpful
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V.V.

answers from Louisville on

"I'm naked so im the boss."

7 moms found this helpful
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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I love this question.

I heard about this one from my childcare provider:

My 2 year old child is screaming hysterically at the playground, like he's been mortally wounded. Provider rushes over "What's wrong, what happened? Where does it hurt?"

Child stops, looks at her calmly and says in a cheery voice "I'm using my outside voice!"

7 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Richland on

My kids had oddly accurate logic which isn't as cool as it sounds. Well I suppose it wasn't so bad, I didn't get tantrums, I got arguments and a fair few I had to give in to because there was no reason not to.

Why my two oldest aren't attorneys I just don't understand.

7 moms found this helpful
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L.H.

answers from Abilene on

My niece thought when we said you have to be careful of under tows (under currents) that we said under toads and was convinced there were toads under the water waiting for her.

My other niece would jump into the pool screaming don't let me go underground.

Another niece questioned why you say excuse me when she farted and thought maybe it made the smell go away quicker.

What a scream. I love kids!

Blessings!
L.

6 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

If there are checks in the checkbook, there;s money in the bank.

6 moms found this helpful

E.J.

answers from Chicago on

Lemonade was a treat for my kids when they were younger.

My middle son refused to drink pink lemonade because he thought it would turn him into a girl because it was pink.

He always checked his cup before he drank from it.

:-)

6 moms found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

"If I have to go to bed, you have to go to bed."

6 moms found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Odessa on

We call her great grandma because she makes great bread!

5 moms found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

Well, my 4 year old keeps telling me she gets to drive next year when she turns 5 because that will mean she's grown up.

Once, she asked me to stop tickling her because it made her think of funny things, like a rainbow giraffe standing on one leg.

5 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from New York on

ME: Where are you going with your plate?
SON: Upstairs to eat with the kids.
ME: If you go upstairs I'll be all alone.
SON: No you won't mom, remember, God is always with you.

Mind you the whole time he is making his way to the stairs by the end of this he is out of sight on the stairs where I can't see hiim but hear the echo of his little voice in the stairwell. It was the first time I thought, dang he's right and I'm wrong. LOL

UPDATED
He was 3 at the time.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

My DS explains that maybe when he is older, like 15 and able to drive a car, he will like eating vegetables.

If we don't close the bedroom door, the fire alarm will go off and say fire fire, and frighten him.

He can't eat a cookie that is broken, but will eat one that is split in half.

We have to hurry to get the parked car, because then the police will give us a ticket, and we will have to go to the hospital in an ambulance. The doctors will make us better, but we might be sad.

Best,
F. B.

4 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Houston on

"It's not dark outside so we still have time to (a) play outside, (b) play inside, (c) go to the pool." - Arguments for why we don't need to settle down because it's almost time for bed.

When I pick our kids up by myself, they always ask where their dad is. I usually say he's at home. To which my oldest invariably replies "Probably...he's supposed to be anyway." Cracks me up every time. - The thought being if he's not with us, then he better be at home waiting to be with us.

And the golden wisdom of my littlest lately…”Share, share, mine, mine.”

3 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I arrived to pick up my oldest from preschool when she was 3 to see her all the way across the play yard, slapping her best friend across the face (repeatedly, and really hard!). When the teacher and I stopped her, and sat her down and asked why in the world she had been doing that, she replied, "She got to the drinking fountain first!"

(For the record, this child is now almost 12 and has never done such a thing since.)

3 moms found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

My youngest daughter would only drink out of the yellow sippy cup or the green one but not the red or blue because those were boy colors. Her twin brother didn't like the transiton between long sleeves and long pants and summer clothing with shorts and short sleeves. He'd pull on the legs and sleeves a little and then be happy because 'now they were longer.'

2 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I think my brother was a bit older than toddler; perhaps 5. He cried when I got my driver's license. I was 16. He said that meant I'd get married and move away.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I remember crying once when I was a kid because my mom cut my spaghetti and I didn't want any more.

1 mom found this helpful
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