Kids Rooms on a Different Floor

Updated on February 24, 2012
S.L. asks from Chestertown, MD
23 answers

We are looking at buying a house, mostly 4 bedrooms, and some of them have 2 bedrooms on the main floor and 2 on the second floor. We have a 3 year old son and I'm pregnant with our second, which is a girl. When we move if there was only one bedroom on the same floor as the master I would just put both kids in the same room. I'm wondering at what age it becomes inappropriate for a brother and sister to share a room and also at what age you would be comfortable moving your kids to a bedroom on a different floor. When they are both older I like the idea of having them both upstairs and just having a guest bedroom next door to the master on the same floor, it's just the years between now and then that I am worried about. Does anyone have this situation currently and how have you handled it?

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C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

My advice is that you not buy a house like that. It's going t start to feel small pretty quickly. Don't settle. Get a house with the bedrooms the way you want. Best wishes.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think that when the kids are around 2 and 4/5 I would not let them share a room anymore. But I would personally pass on any house that has a split floor plan like this because I would not like it and would move myself upstairs and use those rooms instead of the ones downstairs. The master suite would be my craft room or something like an office for hubby and me when we are downstairs but I would not sleep on a different floor than my kids.

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

If the kids are upstairs and parents are downstairs, I'd be okay with that pretty much any age past when they're waking up during the night. By school age, I think that option is actually ideal because you can send them up to bed and still have your evening without having to tiptoe around.

I wouldn't, however, like the idea of the kids on the ground floor with parents upstairs at any age. As little kids you have to worry about them waking up without you knowing and getting hurt, or wandering out the door... as teenagers you have to worry about them sneaking out or sneaking others in while you sleep. Yikes.

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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

It really depends on your level of comfort. I know people that have their kids' rooms upstairs with a main level master or kids in a downstairs room. I am not comfortable with that arrangement at all. My kids are 3 and 4 and we looked high and low for a ranch style home with at least 3 bedrooms on one level. We have a fourth bedroom on our lower level. At some point one of my kids will probably want to be down there, but it won't be for a VERY long time! I agree with Cupcake Sweet. Hold out for what you want. Even if you have to build it!
HTH

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I would put your master where you plan on keeping it (downstairs) and the kids in the room next door. In a few years (you'll know when! It's different for every family!) you just move them both upstairs.

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L._.

answers from San Diego on

I would never like the idea of waking to a fire where I can't get upstairs to the kids or we get upstairs and then can't get back down. I prefer all one level. We have an upstairs and my grandson sometimes sleeps upstairs with Grandpa. I hate it. I hope to get a long ranch style house one day.

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B.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

I always had my kids close because we lived in small places. Personally, I would not be comfortable with them on a different floor until they were 10 or so.

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J.J.

answers from Allentown on

As you can see people feel both ways about this. I personally could not sleep with my kids on a different level than me. I am not sure what age I would be okay with it, but I am guessing around 13. I have a 4 yo boy and a 6 yo girl and we live in a two bedroom ranch so they share a room. We are not moving anytime soon so they will continue to share for a few more years. Sometimes they ask for their own rooms but they are fine sleeping together, it is more they want some space in the day and since we have such a tiny house that is almost impossible for any of us. But I would suggest if you get two bedrooms only on the second floor that you have them share until you feel comfortable with them alone on another floor. I would never purposefully buy a house where that arrangement would be necessary because even tho at 13 I might feel better about it, I would still prefer to be on the same level for the duration of the time we are living together. As a teenager/young adult I was sick twice that I recall and would not have been able to get help if I was not on the same level as my family. Once when I was 19, I had a gallbladder attack and all I could do was bang on the wall. So for me I will always feel better being on the same level. For me there is also the worry about freak things happening. I would not want them downstairs and me upstairs due to the possibility of someone breaking in and kidnapping one of them or one of them sneaking out and something bad happening, things like that. I would not want them on the second floor and me on the first, due to things like a fire happening where I couldn't get up to them and they panicked and couldn't get out. That can happen even if they have practiced a plan. The first floor is safer for fire and kids ability to follow the rule and get out. For all these reasons I prefer to be on the same floor as my kids regardless of ages. But you may feel at some age you are okay with that, and then that setup would be okay for you, but if you feel as I do I would not buy a house with that floor plan. Good luck in your search for a house!

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Our kid's (ages 7 and 2) bedrooms are on the 2nd floor while our bedroom is on the first floor. We started them off this way...AND they both have their own rooms. It has been just fine. I love it bc I am a super light sleeper and when they are nearby I wake up over and over at the smallest noises. They both don't seem bothered at all by being upstairs and they both love their rooms.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

We moved our son to the downstairs bedroom when he was about 8. Until then he shared with his sister 2 1/2 years younger. They liked being together, but at about 8 he liked his own space. By then there were no worries about him being farther away, either.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I have friends who's children's rooms are upstairs while theirs is on the main floor. They had a pack n play set up in their room when their oldest was first born, but she's 3 now and has been in her own room upstairs since she was a baby with no problem. They're planning to do the same with the new baby on the way.

As for kids sharing a room, I shared a room with my brother for a long time, probably later than kindergarten, when my mom decided that the sisters should share and brothers should share, instead of just the ones closest in age and development. (My brother and I were less than a year apart, then 5 years later a sister and less than a year later another brother, so she had the 2 oldest and 2 youngest together, made sense). I think you will probably know when it's time to split them up if they share.

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

Both my kids' rooms are upstairs, my husband and I are downstairs. The boys are 4 and 11 months. I have never been worried about them being on a different floor.

As far as siblings sharing a room, I would think that with a preschooler and a newborn the issue would be more about a sleeping schedule. Different nap and bed times might make them sharing a room difficult.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

We have our two youngest on a different floor out of necessity, but I don't like it. I can't wait until we can move, for many reasons, but a big reason is so that all of us can have our bedrooms on the same floor! I have a baby monitor in their room (even though the youngest is 2.5) so that I can hear them if they need me in the night.

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L.A.

answers from Denver on

In our last house my kids were on the lower floor (garden level) and we were upstairs. I loved having my own space. All the toys stayed downstairs, for the most part. I would suggest putting them in their own rooms now. You might have seperation problems later if you wait. My son was 5 when we moved in to that house and it was horrible for awhile trying to get him to sleep. I had a baby monitor in his room so I could hear what was going on down there. Personally, I like having my kids on the same floor as me. I think I sleep better. I was always "listening" for noise.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I don't think you should settle on a house you are not completely happy with.

There are a lot of things you can change if you are not happy with the house such as paint, wallpaper, carpet, etc but you CAN'T change the layout.

We built our current home when our daughter was 5. It is a large house.. The master and office/MIL suite is downstairs. The upstairs has 3 bedrooms, game room and library.

Our daughter loves having the entire upstairs to herself. When we have guests, they stay upstairs because the MIL suite downstairs is our office.
In the beginning, it was an adjustment for her to be upstairs on the opposite side of the house than us because the previous home we built had all 4 bedrooms upstairs and we were relatively close.

We love our set up.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I would be TOTALLY fine with the kids being upstairs and us being downstairs. We have seen houses where the master was upstairs and the rest were down - NOT okay.

I think you'd be fine to put them upstairs now.

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L.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hello Fellow Philadelphian -

We have a 3 story house in Roxborough and a 4 1/2 year old and a 2 year old. 2 bedrooms on the second floor, 1 on the third floor. We have the kids in their own rooms on the second floor, we sleep on the third. The two year old is still in his crib, but once he transitions to a bed we will put a gate in his doorway. The four year old comes up to our bedroom during the night/in the morning, or just calls to us. This has been working fine for us.

We never thought about putting both kids in the same room due to room size (small) and amount of nighttime crying they both do periodically. When the two year old was very little, he just stayed in our room.

Good luck with your house purchase!

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S.E.

answers from New York on

i agree with you .. i think when they are older they should have the 2 upstairs bedrooms and have yours + the extra on the main floor.. my cousins have a 3yr old girl and a 5yr old boy their house only had 2 bedrooms so the kids had to share.. they hav been looking for a house with another bedroom for like 6 months now because they want to get the kids in seperate rooms before it starts to get weird/inappropriate .. i would say once your oldest is comfortable sleeping on his own and hes old enough to the point where its weird that he share a room with his llittle sister u can move him upstairs to his own room.. i wouldnt worry about that right away though he is only 3 and the baby hasnt come yet so i think thats a little while down the road

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N.M.

answers from New York on

When we moved into our house our kids were 3 and 4, they shared a room on second floor, us on the first floor. When my son was born he also had a room on the second floor until he was 5, then the older two were done sharing so they each took a room on the second floor and my son is on the first. I never really worried about safety, we had gates and monitors. I liked having my privacy once they were in bed. The only pain was when I was feeling lazy about climbing the stairs!

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S.E.

answers from Philadelphia on

We have the kids rooms on the first floor our room upstairs. The kids have slept that way since they were 3 and 5 and we've never had a problem with them coming to get me in the night or me realy hearing them if they cried for me. (the now 11 year old TEXTS me in the iddle of the night! LOL!)

But, the one time we had an issue, when we had a blowback and the smoke detectors went off in the middle of the night they were outside before I even got down the stairs! They both did as they had been taught and went out into the garage.

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H.M.

answers from Denver on

We have a really open floor plan plus our house is smaller (1600 sq ft) so the kids are both upstairs and hubby and I are in the converted office (now our bedroom) downstairs. I like it - mostly because i"m a paranoid freak and can breathe a little easier knowing they cannot be taken from their rooms in the middle of the night by some weirdo - it's at least 12 feet from ground to their bedroom windows. I know - I know - highly unlikely but it does give me piece of mind. They also won't be able to sneak out through their windows as they get older (only 3 and 8 now) unless they are going to fashion a sheet rope and give it an extreme go. Plus since it's an open floor plan i can hear EVERYTHING despite being downstairs...haha I think I worry too much... :-)

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

My 8 yo girl and 5 yo boy share a room. After a year though she is beginning to ask for her own room. I think it is easier the earlier you put them together.
i would be ok putting them both upstairs as long as they both were up there.

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D.S.

answers from Kansas City on

We have our son on a different floor with 2 bedrooms upstairs and 2 downstairs but the reverse of your situation - he is downstairs and we are upstairs. There are a few reasons I did this:

1. I am terrified of fire and the idea of a house fire. Having him on the first floor seems safer to me - we will have to toss out and climb down a fire ladder from our bedroom and I could not fathom carrying him (I'm already worried about the dog and cat sleeping upstairs). I envision us being able to either run down and help him out quickly from the first floor or climb down outside and enter through his first floor window. I know, sounds paranoid, but I am on this subject!

2. We live on our first floor! Sure, we sleep upstairs and our guests do, too, but my office is the other downstairs bedroom, our kitchen and living room are all right there so he's been able to have his toys in his room and spill out to the areas we are in (no playroom) to play close to me while I cook or work. No running up to get toys or clothes or supplies or whatever. It's like our entire first floor is a family area for play and togetherness. When he was little, it was so convenient to have him nearby in his room throughout the day. No dragging play yards around and always able to keep an ear out for him without a monitor on those rare days he napped. Now that he is older, he can play in his room by himself while I work in the room next to him and still be right there to help him or see something that he wants to show me.

3. Our upstairs rooms are notoriously hard to heat/cool and the room that he would be in is the worst offender. It's ok for guests on a short-term but we'd have to modify it with better insulation or something for longer use. Plus, it's over the garage and that thing is LOUD if we open the door.

4. I am terrible with stairs and the fewer times I have to go up/down, the better. I hated the thought of a kid getting out at night to find us (or something else) and falling down the stairs that are right outside that door instead of going down the hall. It seems easier to have to him come UP if he needs something. Luckily, he rarely does that anyway!

5. It's nice to have an "adult floor" to retreat to at night. No toys, no gear, no reason for him to be up there alone and admittedly not as much baby-proofing.

I've always thought that if we have another, I would move my office to the upstairs so both kids could have rooms downstairs. It's worked out so well for us!

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