Irrational Fear Vs. Legitimate Safety Concern -- Where Is the Line?

I tend to have a lack of fear, even when I should be more cautious.

Even so, I use earbuds, and only put one in one ear so that I can hear out of the other.

Buy a Tazer.

Take a self-defense class.

Run with a friend.

Figure out how to deal with this fear proactively.

I have a gun. It's small enough to carry on my belt loop. Missouri is an open carry state. It's amazing the impact you can have on someone who has been obviously following you down a path (making every turn you make, even when you double back or go off-trail) when you turn around and rack a round into the chamber, aim confidently, and say "STOP! Turn around and leave right now."

Take control.

I love going out and running alone, but two things I don't do anymore that I used to do -go hiking alone or trail running alone (I never thought it was dangerous, but it took a hiker getting abducted and murdered about an hour north of me to wake me up) -and I no longer run alone when it's dark outside.

This last one has been tricky with the time change and my early morning runs. I'm not the paranoid type, but I do believe you need to take common sense precautions. I also believe in listening to your "gut." Honestly, about 3 months ago, this little voice just told me not to get up and go out running in the dark anymore -even the early morning dark. It was such a clear, strong message I kind of get chills thinking about it! So, I don't. I've run in the early morning dark around this area for years -but no longer. I also vary my routes -I think that's a great idea -to vary your routes and times if you can.

Other than that -I say go for it! I don't like carrying things with me, and I usually never run with music unless it's an extraordinarily long run (over 6 miles), but if it makes you feel better -take your phone or pepper spray, but get out and enjoy!

Anyone with ear phones on... is automatically, "distracted" by something and/or cannot hear... their surroundings.
I mean, even in my own house, when my Hubby has his ear phones on listening to music, I KNOW.... he is not at all, aware, to what is going on around him and in the house, and with the kids etc.
And this is in the house.

You can still run outside... but, not on lone desolate isolated roads/trails etc. And wear one sided ear buds.
And frankly, do not run or go on the SAME ol' routine every time. People, notice that.
Even in my neighborhood... I myself, just KNOW which neighbors run on our road and what time and when. Because, they always do the SAME path all the time.

It is not just running with or without headphones, or keeping a good eye on your surroundings or not while running. Even if you did not have headphones on... I would not, go running by yourself in the woods or parks, at night or when there is no one else, around.

But for you, the combination of headphones AND running at the same time, is what gives you that "rush" while running. While you get so absorbed in the music and the runner's high.
The music and headphone's on, while you run, gets you in a "zone."
That is what you miss.
But that is also the point at which... a person is not aware of their surroundings. And gets distracted.

I was a runner, competitively and just for fun, and I know what that runner's high is and what being in that zone is.
But I did not run with headphones on.

In the city or not, while running, anyone can get into harm's way or not.
But I personally, would not do it by myself.

You worry about it now, because you are a Mom.
And you don't want to risk yourself or your safety, because it would impact your children.
That is why, you are more cautious now.
You have a Mommy's, instinct.

I'm not a runner.

Could you run without music? (I probably couldn't!)

A few thoughts for you that might help.
1. When the media barrage is intense, and the world is portrayed like it's going to hell in a hand basket, it helps me to mindfully look around and say "That stuff isn't happening everywhere at all times. I've never heard of a break in on MY street. I don't personally know anyone who has been abducted, murdered, etc." Reality check.

2. Also, keep in mind what I've found to be true after 48 years on this earth. It's rarely the things you worry about that actually happen. Accidents are called accidents because they are out of the blue.
My dear friend was diagnosed with leukemia at 51. I'd bet you a million dollars she never worried O. SECOND of her life about getting leukemia, kwim?

Be aware, be smart--but go get out there!

Try an ear bud, easy to find if you google it. But, anyway, it's a headphone designed to only be worn in one ear, so that you can have one ear 'open' to hear what's going on around you. I absolutely love mine, and I feel much more comfortable running in the forest preserves and neighborhoods around here. It's also nice when I run with a friend because we can talk, and I don't have to keep pulling my headphones out. And no, you're not being stupid:) Through the media, etc, we have been conditioned to live in fear. Make no mistake, I know that there are bad people out there, but I refuse to not live my life because of them.
You can also try running when there are other people out running, or walking, or find a neighborhod or mom friend who might want to run with you. Strength in numbers, right? Good luck, and get outside. I think once you finally do it, you might remember how enjoyable it is to feel the road under your feet and the wind in your hair. And don't you want your kids to grow up seeing their mom doing something that she enjoys and that is good for her? I know I want my kids to learn that I am a person, not just a mom...and they are so proud when I run in a race, even if I don't get the "golden" medal:) Get out there, mama!!

I run alone...well without a partner in a very popular running spot. There is always at least 300 other people on this trail at any given time, it is very open and in a safe neighborhood.
I also run in our densely populated neighborhood, again very safe - but I don't wear headphones in my neighborhood, not because of paranoia, but rather because I feel it's safer if you can hear the traffic, especially if you have to cross roads.
I avoid: the densely wooded park across the road - great trails but not safe for running alone, running at night or in the dark (during the winter I do treadmill) and unsavory neighborhoods (never ran in my old "hood", I would drive for a half an hour to get to the running trail mentioned above).

Just use some common sense and you will be fine.

Go to a gym and run the circuit, headphones and all. Or find a friend you can run with. Or get a dog to run with and who would protect you. Or at least be enough of a deterrant to any would be attacker. They like victims to be alone. Someone with a dog is not alone.
You could ask advice from your local cops and see what they say on the behavioral patterns of attackers.
Self defense programs are well worth it.
Check the local high schools to see if they'd have any objection to you running the outdoor track on the football field.

Run with a partner, that's all I can say and what I would do.
I have those irrational fears too about running outside not only of being abducted but getting chased/attacked by a large dog, getting stung by a bee or wasp, or getting hit by a drunk driver.
Lol Sorry that probably didn't help but your not alone!

Go to www.meetup.com, its free to join. See if there are any running clubs or groups in your zip code. If not, maybe you can start one? Good luck!

I run with my dog. She is small, but very aware of her surroundings. I do run with ear buds, but I am attuned to my surroundings, and my dog's reaction to them. They have Better senses than we do, and in her case, she is very quick to announce the presence of anyone nearby.

I have run outside, at all times of day and night, in all seasons, on bike paths and trails in woods, in suburbs and city, for 27 years. I don't feel afraid.

I strongly suggest taking some self-defense classes. I earned a Black Belt in karate just last year. I also suggest reading the book "Free-range Kids". Though written for parents about kids, it addresses the issue of media saturation vs. the reality of crimes such as abduction. If, after having learned some techniques for defense and getting some facts about the true level of danger, you still can't make yourself go outside, I suggest getting some psychological help.

Join a running club - that way you always have someone to run with. I'm sure a google search will bring up clubs in your area.

I could have written this question myself! (Except I never ran with headphones because I wanted to be aware of my surroundings.) I don't even drive the same since having a child. No more lead foot or road rage for me.

The bottom line is that you can't let fear run your life. I'm guessing that you don't have any other running friends as an option so I would just say to be smart, be aware, run with pepper spray, etc. Take baby steps. Go run a short distance without your headphones and get comfortable with running outside again before "graduating" to longer runs. If you have to run with headphones then perhaps leave only one side in so you can hear with the other. (ear buds) Keep the music low enough that you can still hear. As others have mentioned, always trust your instinct. I know sometimes that it's hard to decipher instinct and the worry but when it's truly instinct, you will know.

I don't let fear stand in my way in other aspects of my life so I constantly tell myself there's no reason to let the fear of crimes/etc stand in my way. It's definitely an argument that I have with myself to convince myself that I'm worrying needlessly. Fear is based on our own perceptions. We have to make a marked and sometimes repeated effort to change how we perceive the issues at hand. Good luck!

U need to face ur fears n do it. Is this me living surroundings or just same eighborhood? If its testament neighbor hood u have to face ur fear n o it n trade up ur run ith a different ath everyday. Let only hubbie know wat ur ats r n he long u will be gone. If ur not back have him come look. Also another hing that might make u feel better take peer stay n ur cell with u. Face r fear it will e fine it's ecause u ad a child n u have a lot on ur plate