Immediate Advice Please

Sounds like the grandparents are hoping that ANNE will want to stay for her little girl, almost like wishing their daughter will become the mother she is supposed to be.

This would make me LIVID too. I say contact a lawyer.

I agree with everyone else... CONTACT A LAWYER!!!!! We have had my stepson since he was 3 and his mother has only been in his life this past year and he is 7 now!!!! I wish we would have had the money to get a lawyer 4 years ago but unfortunately we didn't and we just hired one in December!!!! It is going to be harder for us to get custody right now but we are still fighting for him and with your little one it is so early that she will not remember alot of the stuff. My son is old enough to remember it all now and I really wish I would have taken her up on her signing her rights over when he was three but it is to late for that now!!!! So my advice is get legal help now and just know that you are the one who will be recognized as her mom not just the egg donor!!!!! If you ever need to talk send me a message I have been in your place many many times!!!!

~C.

I totally think contacting a lawyer is the best thing at this point. The grandparents seem more concerned with their daughter than the best interest of their granddaughter. You are the only real mother she's ever really known, right? You have raised her and that makes you more a mother to her than blood ever will. That's all that matters. Find a good lawyer and I'd even consider terminating the grandparents rights. They shouldn't have full right to make decisions about what she does. She lives with you and your husband so you two should be responsible for all decisions that concern your daughter. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

I know of a couple that had the same situation and the biological mom still got custody of the girls. So the mom took them away. Less than a year later she dropped both girls at this couples house again and disappeared, this time until the girls turned 18 and 20! Then she wanted to "bond" with them again, but the girls recented her too much. When one of them got married it was this man's wife that walked her down the aisle. Well, the mom had another little girl with another man and dropped her at this couples house when she was just a baby. She'd come and visit her every now and then. Then she showed up one day when the girl was 7, and even though she had a "bad" history, she was still able to receive custody of her daughter. Point is that some people are trash. They will always be trash and you can't expect any better. Kids are too smart though and there's nothing worse than the feeling of being hated by ones child. I think she tried to make up for the hate her first 2 daughters felt for her by having another child. Well, this child hates her too. She's the looser. Try and fight for this little girl, show her how much she is worth and no matter what, YOU'll always be her hero.

Contact an attorney and have them put a stop on visitation as long as she is there. You dont know what is going through "ANNS" thoughts. I have been raising my husbands kids since they were 2 and 4, theya are now 13 and 15. The mom has had nothing to do with them till she showed up for a Child Support heaing last month.

Hmmm. It almost sounds like ANN'S parents are the ones forcing their daughter to be a real mother. Does ANN even want to spend Mothers Day with your/her daughter? Are the grandparents guilting her into it? She obviously never cared about Mothers Days before so why all of a sudden? Perhaps you stop visitations until this is all cleared up. If the grandparents want to see their grandaughter, they can come spend time with her at your house.
Or maybe you or your husband needs to have a serious talk with said "ANN " to find out her true intentions.
You don't want to play tug of war with your baby girl or she may be deeply affected by all this. Ugh, that wretched Ann!!! I truly feel for you. Good luck. Be strong. And keep your baby protected from the drama!!

Definitely contact a lawyer FAST. I would be LIVID as well. That is how I felt w/my baby youngest' dad got extended visitation and he got away w/everything when he left me when I was 16 wks pregnant and on bed rest and he asked me to terminate the baby just 1 wk after we got married(I found out I was preg just 2 wks before the wedding day) he also was not involved for 9 months.
Not wanting anything to do w/the baby and only is involved cause the parents control him 100%
He even quit his job to make less money to pay less child support. Big Loser. I know how you feel and I am VERY SORRY.

You and your family are in my prayers.
M.

The other ladies have given such great advice!! They are right, you must first contact a lawyer.

I just wanted to add a little more. Remember, YOU have always been there for this little girl, and you will always be there. This woman, ANN, will not. For some reason, whether it be her parents or what, she has decided to give mothering a try. This will NOT last, and you need to be that constant, warm place to fall when ANN leaves again for some other man. She will NEVER have the bond with ANN that she has with you and will NEVER be able to take that away!! As far as the grandparents go, they raised this woman, so they can't be "all that" themselves. NEVER doubt your place in this little girl's life and heart. You will not lose this little girl, not in custody or her heart!!

L.:

I would NOT contact a lawyer. You might not be happy with the results. If she's as unstable as she appears to be she will drop out of her life again as quickly as she did the first time. The fact that her parents are considering you to be her mother is a good sign. They love their granddaughter and know that she loves you as her Mom. I bet Ann was there when he(the grandfather) said that and just didn't want to hurt her. If she wants to disrupt and confuse YOUR daughters life then she's clearly not looking out for her best interest. I would wait and see if she makes any legal moves (why should you pay?). I'm betting she won't make the effort.
The reason I suggest that you don't contact a lawyer is because if she's living w/ the grandparents, working, showing an interest in her biological daughter now, the court will work with her. They will give her visitation despite the abandonment. Right now, you only have to share grandparent visitation. You don't want the child shared by 3 households (if/when she moves out). It's terrible that they went behind your back and allowed her to visit w/ Ann without discussing it w/ you. It must have confused your daughter. If they plan to continue to allow this temporary visitation then you need ask them to please respect your daughter and not to manufacture a relationship between the 2 of them. If she was willing to give up rights in the past then she's not really vested in her. You know?

If no lawyers have been contacted yet and you and your hubby aren't ordered to allow access of the child to the grandparents on Mothers Day, then you will not be in contempt of the court. If you absolutely have to allow visitation on that day...I would request that they do an early breakfast and have her home directly after. Or she could always be "sick".

Please wait this out and keep your eye on the big picture. Let us know what happens!

S.

Having gone through very similar situations I must say_CONTACT A LAWYER!!! By doing this your are protecting yourself from serious issues now and later!!!! It also shows how serious you are about your child to make sure it is set in stone!!! Don't hesitate. Protect yourself and her.

She will always have a desire for "mom" and be hurt wondering why she didn't want her like you do. My father adopted me at 14 mos old. I always wanted to know my dad- but my true father (who adopted me) I love more than I think I would ever love a real one. I am now a step mother to two boys who have a competant mother who only wants them when conveinent or when she looks like "mom". It is hard for me, and I have really wanted to scream and cry somedays, but as the kids have gotten older (8 nd 4) they have shown me that I am giving them more love than their own. They have shown me they appreciate me and come to me with their issues and they are very young. I know I don't have to try to "out do" her anymore. I am myself and I love them and they know it. You are doing the same. No worries. I learned as a child and now an adult...sometimes experiencing the sacrifice of loving another child as your own is so much sweeter and a deeper bond.