Ideals

Updated on June 11, 2009
R.C. asks from Lake Lynn, PA
20 answers

This is a strange (and lengthy explaination) and request. My daughter (my baby) will be 17 in August. She is an honors student, gotten an award for volunteer service (over 200 hours), has a boyfriend (good kid), just starting to drive, has college planned, is very active in her church, (youth group, teaches Bible Club, puppet ministry) and took the church secretary position this summer and is a youth delegate for the church annual conference this week. She is now a Senior in High school taking AP and Honors classes. Last year for her birthday party, she wanted some freinds to hang out at our house (this is where they usually come anyway) She had it all planned - (paintball targets, slip n slide, water balloons) they are all teenagers n just like to be together mainly, but we were more disappointed that things went wrong then she was - but she would never say she was disapppoineted. The pain b all guns jammed, it rained, the slip and slide was too fast - even for teenagers (they only slip a few times). had plenty of food and that is where they spent their time, food and talking.
I don't know what to do this year. She says she doesn't really care. She is such a good kid, and will do anything for anyone. Alot of her friends graduated this year and will be going away to college right around her birthday. So we aren't looking for a big group. Just need a sounding board and and some ideals

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So What Happened?

OK, been a while in coming - be here's the updated plan of action.
she invited 4 friends to come over on Friday night after band camp closes. only 3 are able to make it. Since her birthday is Saturday - and Church is her priority on Sunday's, she wanted the "Party" on Saturday around 5 pm. these girls have been invited to spend Friday night and can stay until 8ish on Saturday. The one girl who can't make it on Friday night is being asked to come over and stay on Saturday night. We've stocked the camper (26 foot with slide out)- it sleeps 8 very comfortably, so they will have plenty of room to watch movies, chill and make snacks. We'll C. Breakfast in the house for everyone - and do lunch meat sandwiches. Family and other adults including boyfriend & his parents are invited to come at 5 PM. she's chosen the menu as: vege pizza, BBQ chicken pizza, fruit n vege tray, pasta salad. She has also requested to "share" a cake with her Uncle George that she has gotten to know this summer - as it is both their birthdays and "I've never gotten to share a birthday cake with anyone - it will be so cool!" She is sooo funny! Don't know yet what to give her as a gift - cause when we ask - I don't know - maybe just go shopping on Sunday after church. Did manage to sneak in a Nicholas Sparks Book she wanted (We ordered it together, but I got the mail and hid it from her yesterday)I know if I give it to her now - she will hibernate in her room reading all night tonight. Thanks for all the ideals. We still may do a small fire - depending on the weather and her asthma.

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C.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't know what kind of yard set up you have, but what about an at home drive in movie. You can rent projectors and portable DVD players (look for electronics rentals in the Yellow Pages). Get some new releases or old favorites.

Set up a big white sheet against the house, garage, or just hang it from a high clothesline and project the movie. (You might also want to attach some external speakers)

Pop popcorn and have "movie snacks" = pizza, Goobers/Raisenettes, etc.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Get in touch with as many of her friends as you can and do a small party for her. I wouldn't do anything big because it sounds like that's not what she wants.

Sounds like a good girl with an awesome Mom!!

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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hey! I first of all want to say it is awesome that you care enough about her to worry about a party at this age. Not too many parents do. I read the other requests and think the camp fire party sounds good, if you have room in your yard (which it sounds like you do from last years party). I also think a spa day would he a great idea. That was my original thought. It could be just the 2 of you, or a couple of her girl friends. I don't think you would HAVE to pay for everyone. At this age they could probably swing it if it was done reasonably. Or try hitting up a beauty academy or college. Alot of times they do spa parties or b-days and much more affordably. Amusement Parks are also fun in the summer and can be inexpensive. Good luck and have fun whatever you plan. That is what she will remember most of all. Quality time!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

What about an old fashioned camp fire party? Grilled food, bonfire, S'mores, iced tea. soda, baked beans, potato salad, horse shoes, etc? Like an evening picnic. Since they ended up eating & talking mostly at the last party...maybe this idea would work out with just a few "game like" activities...

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L.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi R.,

Grat job on raising two wonderful children, it sounds like they have had alot of love and support in their lifetime! Maybe you could take the small group for a day/weekend trip to the beach. Beach time, dinner, carnival rides, that never gets old and is always fun, espec. for kids that age. Another idea is rent a hotel room for a party for her and her friends, a hotel that has a great indoor pool...another idea is have her and her friends treated to a spa day...
good luck!
L.

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B.W.

answers from Erie on

Why not just do a C.-out and then a campfire -- It gives them a chance to get together, and she could even do hold it BEFORE her birthday, so the kids going to college can come for one last hurrah. Kids like to sit around and talk, joke and shoot the breeze.

If you want "activities", our kids loved going to lazer tag, and my 2nd oldest (a high school teacher) planned a night of laser tag with her downhill ski team rather than a banquet, because the kids didn't really like banquets, but it was a sports team, so they LIKED competition ! And they had a ball and couldn't wait for the "banquet" at the end of ski season her 2nd year coaching. I might still do the meal and the campfire AFTER laser tag, just to provide some food and time to "be" together. Of course, it's weather dependent, but if it rains, have a DVD planned, and the kids could sit around, watch a silly movie and have fun.

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N.P.

answers from York on

I went to a party recently for a graduate and they had a bouncer slide. I am pretty sure they got it from Atomic Bounce. http://www.atomicbouncerocks.com

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M.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

R., I am also a mom of a daughter that is graduating this friday, the very same thing happened to us for her 16th birthday. We invited 30+ girls and most of them no rsvp but said they were coming. I had gotten her a beautiful Two tier cake decorated tropical and piniata and hawian luau theme and had planeed on them swimming in the pool and do the limba and stuff, I spent alot of money on this swareee and low and behold an hour before the party the black clouds rolled in and the sky dumped water like I had never seen before. Only 8 girls showed up and the pinata got soaled the water was dripping through our awning and flooded the pinata but all in all between the lightning they swam and sat around and talked and all said they had fun thats what matters most. The following year she said she didnt want to do a party so I had her get a few of her closest friends and we went to lunch and got manicures and pedicures. They told me how much they enjoyed the day and how much older and mature it made them feel and it allowed me to spend time with her and her friends and showed them you can still hang out with mom and still have fun.I am sure that her being the youngest is really making you feel like you have to do this perfect so try to plan a girls day out it would let you slow down from all the crazy schedules and things you both have going on and allow you to connect as mom and daughter. My daughters friends feel like they can include me in their conversations and ask me for advice which is nice and doesnt make me feel 42, Ha ha, Have fun! M.

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S.K.

answers from Scranton on

Don't have any ideas but wanted to say you should be very proud of your daughter! The young lady she has become is what most Moms want for their daughters! You did a great job!

S.

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J.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi Momma R.,

Sometimes the best parties are when everything goes wrong. My friend had planned a party and on the big day a tree fell down in front of the entrance to her house no tonly blocking off the entrance but cutting off the power. Folks had to be escorted in by PECO and there was no power to continue cooking. Luckily the sun came out and she had cooking gas but everyone took it all in stride because SHE did. Grace under pressure is a great life lesson for your daughter and she seemed to handle it very well. I think any of the ideas suggested are great and remember whatever happens it's just fun to eat and drink and chat with good friends and laugh about the snafu's that come your way.

J.

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L.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

What about a movie night with a theme (like a series, a favorite actor, etc), a spa party (manicures, pedicures), a cooking/baking party or taking her friends to a festival or some other event around her birthday.

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N.K.

answers from Philadelphia on

It's really nice of you to want to plan something for her. Is she into restaurants at all? I always love a really great dinner out with friends and family. I don't know where you are or your budget, but I would love for someone to just give me the Philly Zagat guide and let me pick a restaurant for my birthday dinner.
If not her style, maybe a day or weekend at the beach? Best wishes to celebrate your daughter's birthday in good health.

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N.H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Dear R.,
I really just want to say, "congratulations on raising such a wonderful child"! Sounds like you are doing lots of things exactly right! Also sounds like your daughter is well adjusted thanks to you being there for her. Even if you were disappointed when things didn't go the way she planned, it sounds like she "rolled with it". They say that adaptability is a sign of good mental health. I am sure whatever you decide to do this year, her party will be just as, if not more enjoyable. It fills my heart with joy to read about you and your family.
Sincerely,
N

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L.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

This worked for us. We had the kids over for appetizer type food. Then had them break up into groups of 4 to 6. Each group made a list of 20 tasks for a photographic scavenger hunt. They then exchanged lists, had an hour to get their pictures, then came back and shared their experiences and pictures, and dessert. We later put all the pictures on line.

Some of the pictures were photo with someone in uniform, under a car, 8 people at a stop sign, worm in a hand, boy in a prom gown, pyramid of 10 people, person under a clock at 8:00, etc. Part of the fun was making up the lists and then getting other people involved. They still tell stories about the night.

The only prep was making sure enough kids brought their digital cameras. Set time and distance limits. Food is a must at any teenage gathering. Have a great party.

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K.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

What about a midnight/cosmic bowling? Not sure if they have in your area, but it's where you go at night and turn off the lights and all the balls and pinks and stuff glow in the dark, and they play fun music and all that. Then have some come back to the house for a sleep over and be lazy the next day and just be together. It sounds like they're more interested in being together than some big hoo rah. Or pay for her and a couple friends to go to an amusement park or waterpark. If you know her friends why not ask them for some ideas as well. It sounds like she's pretty open to most anything.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

htpp://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
chat and events within 2 hour radius

B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi R., Summer birthdays are a pain at times aren't they? Instead of doing something big, why don't you take her & a couple of friends out to dinner and a movie? Or the two of you (great excuse for Mother/Daughter day) go to a spa for a day...(nails, hair, toes, massage etc...) then dinner with Dad & boyfriend? Best wishes.

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A.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Some ideas:
Spa Party. You could either do it at a spa or even just find a manicurist to come to the house.

pool party at local pool

amusement park

If there is an outdoor concert planned anywhere nearby you could set up a nice tailgate for them to enjoy the show.

Or just have her friends over for food and talking like last time-sounds like that is what they liked. Do something special for the food...maybe a make your own pizza buffet, pasta, chinese, mexican buffet with make your own taco or fajita. Whatever the kids are into. Do a chocolate fondue for dessert with tons of dippers(marshmallows, pound cake, pretzels, strawberrys, pineapple, graham crackers, etc.)

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S.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

This is an expensive idea, but as a former HS teacher I know the kids will love it, especially if you are only doing a small group 4/5 kids. Buy each of them a ticket to Great Adventure or a similar theme park.

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T.M.

answers from Allentown on

Hi R.,
Your Daughter answered you . [ she is a give'n person not a taker]
The entire ' bunch' needs a BASH ..
some going away to college, some military, some birthdays , etc .[ all tears of joy]
These kids are over the top w/ creativity ...
band, drama, vocals ...
Rent a fire hall [ monies go to community ] a church basement , anyplace safe ..[ indoors]
get a kereeokee [ sp] machine w/ lots of mics ., get a dj[ dad carl] , lights , dance, wear what they like to wear ... converse chuckies ... perfect ...
invite all kids in her scrapbook/ camera ... invite parents too [ if they are say'n good bye to their children] just plan an artsy , fun , let the kids pick dress, music, dance , make easy foods and snacks
good for you .
ps i liked the movie response too
#191 rents EVERYTHING[ Liesers] ...bounce houses, cotton candy machine , hot dog cart ... GO CK OUT >> SEE WHAT YOU CAN PULL TOGETHER >> create stress free fun ; reminisent of the year 2009 .
invite all.
a grammy

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C.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

tina's advice on going all out sounds like so much fun i can't even stand it - sounds great to me!! i'm going to use that advice myself!! thanks!!

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