I Would like to Have Another Baby but My Husband Doesn't.

Updated on April 04, 2008
S.S. asks from Mansfield, TX
5 answers

I would like to have another baby but my husband doesn't. one month he says yes the other he says no. I wish he would make up his mind. He won't really tell me why he just says no. I think its becasue our daughter was sick when she was a baby and also I think its because he doesn't think he can handle another one. Please help me I really want another and I don't want them to be so far apart in age. she is almost 2 (in may)

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C.W.

answers from Dallas on

Follow your husband's lead and pray for you both to be in agreement on family size. Anything else will bring you heartache.

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E.M.

answers from Dallas on

Whatever you and your husband decide just make sure that it is a decision you are both comfortable with. As you know adding a child to a family means big changes and adjustments not only emotionally but financially as well. I agree that counseling could help you come to understand each other's view points better.
Perhaps waiting until you are out of school and your little girl is older would be a benefit rather than something that caused concern for your husband.
I can only tell you my own experience... My girls are 4 years apart, I wanted the first one out of diapers and a little more independent than she was at 2. I also wanted her to understand that her sister was going to be a wonderful addition not someone who took up more of mommy's time. For my family it turned out to be such a blessing.
My oldest daughter would help me with her sister and sit with me when I nursed her. She became quite the little mother to her baby sister. My girls are typical siblings... they love each other one minute and can't get along the next. My oldest is now listening to her sister read in the evenings and helping her with the bigger words. (it's precious!!)
Whatever you decide just make sure it's what you both want.
God Bless & Good luck!!!

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K.A.

answers from Dallas on

You are both young and so is your daughter. Our daughters are four years apart, and it works our nicely. You have plenty of time to decide about another child. I know it is hard and you get "baby fever" sometimes. I was ready for another one almost as soon as brought the first one home from the hospital. However, I am really glad we waited and let the older one be the baby for a while. She is a great help now - she can get things for us if we are tending to the baby, entertain her sister and help herself to a juice box or cheese stick out of the fridge. Good luck in whatever you do.

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C.W.

answers from Dallas on

We are in the same situation, however I don't want any more children and my husband originally did. I have a disability and it has been very difficult on me with being a Mom.

I would suggest counseling or maybe your work or his work may offer an EAP program and offer free counseling. You could also talk with your Minister or a friend, if you feel comfortable doing that. You could always get one-on-one counseling for you or both of you.

We are Christians and I would say pray, if you are a Christian. God will lead both of you all to a decision that is right for both of you. Have you thought about adoption or doing foster care? We are foster parents and there is a great need for foster parents. Maybe you might be interested in something like that. Email me for more information on the adopting or foster care for more information.

Take care

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know about persuading your husband, but my advice is to not put so much pressure on yourself to have kids that are 2 years apart. I know this is a popular idea. I stressed about it but because of fertility issues it wasn't possible for me. Also, my husband, like yours, wasn't ready when our daughter was that young. We took some time off from trying to have a baby and now we have a 1 year old and 5 1/2 year old. For our family is has been the perfect fit and perfect timing. There are many joys in having our kids spread out a bit. We were able to concentrate on our first one before the second one came along. My husband gained more confidence in his ability to be a good father and big sister is a huge help!

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