22 answers

I Want a Divorce but Husband Won't Leave!

I have told my husband I want a divorce and plan on filing. We have a 4 year old daughter that will take her daddy not being with us very hard. So I have asked that he leave the house to at least let her maintain some sense of normalcy (and not loose her home and the surroundings she's familiar with).

He refuses to leave until we sell the house. Well with this economy that could be years. The bigger issue is that the environment is not healthy for our daughter with us arguing all the time. Is there anyway that I can legally have him leave the house?

2 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks for all of the advice. I didn't get into the specifics of the issues of the marriage because I DO have grounds for a divorce. I have been dealing with this same stuff for years and now I am at my breaking point. Our issues are much larger than "being tired of him". There has been no physical abuse.

I really wanted to know if I could get him to leagally move. We have been married for 10 years. I have tried counseling and it didn't work. He puts on a "act" as the poor humble husband ...and I come off as being a bitch because he basically won't tell the truth. So there is no need to go to couseling if he won't be honest.

I am a christian and have prayed about this and for some reason God hasn't answered this prayer for me yet. I have read several books on marriage and it just doesn't work if you only have 1 person that is willing to make the change.

Finally, I truly have given this marriage everything I have. I could be better in areas but, I just don't have anything else to give. Because no matter what I do it won't change ...who he is deep down inside. That's a hard pill to swallow for me.... knowing that no matter how hard you try it won't make a difference.

Our situation is not as simple as just "sticking it out" this has been very hard on me emotionally and the effect of this really has really chipped away at my soul.

Thanks mom's for the advice. There were several things that were posted that really made me think about things differently.

Featured Answers

My very strict,wise, smart butt, and smart dad just had a convo about this last night. He told me to file anyway and stuff will happen.

he is probably acting on the advice of his lawyer. If HE leaves then he will put you in control of the property assets. Unless he is being abusive (and you can prove it with concrete evidence) I don't think there is any LEGAL way to make him leave. You really need to seek an attorney that can answer this question correctly.

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I have an idea...quit arguing all of the time & don't divorce. This way, your daughter will not take her daddy not being with you very hard & she doesn't have to listen to the constant arguing! Are you plugged in to a good church? Have you done everything you can do? Remember, sometimes there things you are unaware of that can be done to resolve conflicts. Where my husband & I are now compared to 5 years ago is astonishing. We were on the brink of divorce, with an affair glooming over our marriage. I can tell you this, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! I started focusing on my part in everything & treating him with respect whether he had earned it or not. Guess what happened? He earned it. He started treating me & his God given role in our family importantly, things I had "nagged" about for years. There is another way to get what you want...the question is, are you willing to swallow your pride & try something different? Giving up on your marriage is like giving up on God, & God has never met his match! I know I don't know you or your situation, but I know that anything is possible with God in first place, spouse in second, and kids in third.

2 moms found this helpful

Actually T., I did not read all your responses but I read some. There is some good information in there about staying together as a family and why you should. I would say if you love your husband, then you need to try and make it work. And if you feel you already have, then try harder.

But the bottom line is, this is your choice to make. You really need to pray and ask God to give you the answer. If you are truly unhappy and feel in your heart that you have done all that you can, then you make a choice and you live by it.

As far as the advise about making him leave, well I didn't see any that was actually correct. Texas is a community property state; however, once a divorce is filed the court will award temporary possession of the house to one spouse. The court will look at who has custody of the child as well when awarding temporary possession as well as the financial part. Then you will either reach an agreement or go to trial to decide who gets the house or what happens to the house. The Court will not make both of you live together under one roof while going through a divorce.

You did not say if you could afford to pay the house note or not but you really need to take that into consideration. Also know that your child is 4 and she will bounce back. There are programs out there to help her understand what you are going through. There are also programs to help you understand what she is going through. You and your husband should take the class "Kids in the Middle". The parenting center of FW gives the class.

Good luck. Please let me know if you need any help. I am a family law attorney in Fort Worth and would be happy to speak with you. You can call me at ###-###-####

J. Duke

1 mom found this helpful

I don't think so, he has every right to be there as much as you do. You might need to think about moving yourself and your daughter as much as you don't want too, do you have any friends or family you could stay with?

1 mom found this helpful

Your child needs your husband to stay in that house & she needs you to make a move to stop the arguing.

Dr. Laura's The Proper Care & Feeding and Woman Power saved my marriage. Seriously. I hated Dr. Laura, but with separation looming, I was willing to try anything to make sure my children weren't products of divorce. I followed the advice in those books & it saved us.

I hope you're able to work things out. Maybe your hubby not leaving is the universe's way of giving you a chance to turn this around.

1 mom found this helpful

ok War of the Roses. Why don't you use this time to go to counseling (if he won't go you do). You will be required to do mediation while going through divorce separation so why not start now and learn to work together.

Just remember before you scream as your spouse - he is still your spouse, little ears hear everything. Take it into another room and scream at him. Wait until she goes to sleep.
Very selfish of you both not to have that self control while she is in the room. Sorry but true.

Please remember simple respect for the other person goes a long way. What women have to do to keep their families together is a pretty big and tough job but you can do it.
I don't know the circumstances but make him independent of your responsibilities and that might ease your upset a bit.
Sorry for your situation. Sorry for your little one, she will suffer the most.c

1 mom found this helpful

I agree with Mama A!

P.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi T., I hope today is a better day for you. First off, I don't know what world Mama A lives in but I think her advice is probably not very realistic. We do not know the details of you relationship but if you're as unhappy as you say you are my advice is to get out. Not everyone is lucky enough these days to have their parents stay together. My parents have been happily married for 42 years and I myself have been divorced. You WILL NOT ruin your child's life by divorcing. I have three sons who of course had an adjustment period when their father and i spilt after 12 years of marrriage. They were 10, 8 and 6 1/2 at the time. You deserve to be happy too whether your single or eventually find a relationship worthy of sharing with your life and children with. In my case, divorce was the only option for me. My husband wanted to stay and work things out but there was no way. OUR household was so full of anger and not love and THAT"S not fair to a child. If a child grows up in a home like that they will think that is the "norm" and they will expect nothing better in their future relationships. I've always said it's better to have TWO SEPARATE HAPPY household than ONE MISERABLE exisitence. I hope that this might help you but if you ned to talk please email me.

1 mom found this helpful

Ok, was the question "How do I fix my marriage?" NO!! Focus ladies, focus. Get off your high horses and answer the question T. asked! geez!
Anyways, I was fortunate and my ex-husband gave me the house and everything in it so I dont have any advice other than call that lawyer who posted below. ;) Good luck! You will survive and you will be happy.

1 mom found this helpful

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