Husband to Protective!

Hi C.,

My husband is also more of a worry wart than I am. He's always afraid he's going to choke, fall, hurt himself. He's 18 months so one of us always has our eye on him. But we also both work full-time, so he is babysat like your daughter by his aunt or grandparents, so he's not always going to be there and has to trust in other's capable hands. My husband has a nephew that has been completely sheltered and has turned into a very selfish, bratty child that does not share with his cousins or have many friends. I point this out to my husband if he gets overly protective. Maybe you know a good example of this and you can point the same thing out to your husband. Good luck:)

Is there a reason he is concerned about her going in the car with her grandparents? Are they elderly? DO thy have vision/hearing problems? Do they have good driving records? If not, my next question is, is he too protective of you? If ther is no valid reason for concern about the grandparents, this behavior strikes me as very controlling. DOes he have issues with you taking the baby out alone? Will you be working afer baby #2 is born? Maybe some counseling for both of you to determine how you want to manage your family decision-making is in order. Good luck!

Just make sure that there isn't any good reasons for his not wanting her to go with them. Are they responsible enough? Do they smoke around her? Are they good drivers? If all is good, she should spend time with them more. Good luck.

Do you know what he is afraid about with your daughter going with her grandparents? It's not like there aren't enough hazards in the home...

Perhaps if he bought and installed a carseat in their car and taught them how to use it, he would feel more comfortable. Perhaps even toss in having the seat checked by a certified technician (where your husband might find that even he isn't doing it quite right...and yet your daughter still lives...)

However, I do have to say here, you daughter really doesn't "need" classes at the gym or library, or anything else. If her grandparents are reading books to her and playing games and allowing her time to explore the world on her own, she is being provided all the stimulation she needs. Kids anymore are WAY too over scheduled, and end up loosing creativity.

My husband was also very protective of our first born. It does end to a point. Maybe suggest to him that he can be the one to place the carseat in their car, so that was he knows it is installed properly. Over half of the injuries that happen to toddlers during an accident are from carseats that are not installed properly.

It is also important for her to socialize with others her age, that way she can adjust more to the new baby coming. Being with others in her age group helps her develop more of her personality. I am currently pregnant with my 3rd child so I understand all your concerns.

Good Luck!

Hi! My name is C.! I saw what you wrote about your husband being too protective. Its just mt opinion but i think you are right. The child needs to spend more time doing activities and being around other children. My daughter is 5 yrs old and has been in child care since she was 8 mths old. She loves being around her friends. The social interaction is great for children. I worked in daycare for 5 yrs and it makes a huge impact on a childs life to let them explore and meet other children. It will makes things easier on your child once they start school. They will be excited to go instead of being afraid to be around other kids...... I hope i have helped you a little...

My husband was the same way with our daughter and still is sometimes, she is almost three. i told my husband that he needed to relax and that she needed time with other children and other people. I would always ask him if he was going to do that when she was six years old too. My husband always told her not to run and things like that but I also asked him if his parents did the same thing to him and he said no, no surprise to me. He turned out fine and so did I. I also see that you are pregnant tell him that you definitely need all the help you can get. I just had my second child a son and my daughter being with my parents and brothers made it a lot easier on me during my pregnancy especially from 6 months on when I really couldn't chase after my daughter anymore. Besides that kids need to learn social skills and just being around the parents doesn't give them that. Hope this helps and hope he can lighten up a bit but one last question, is there a specific reason he won't let your parents take her out. would he let his parents or siblings? If he would and not yours, find out why if you don't already know.