Husband Is Flipping Out About Turning 30

I like Dr. Mary's advice.

My husband is turning 50 this year and is fine about it. I'm going to throw him a big party as well. Make it fun.

As for your husband, I would ask him some serious questions about why he's flipping out about turning 30. Maybe it is an age thing (my youth is gone), but maybe it's something deeper. Maybe he has some dreams that he thought he'd achieve by the time he was 30. Maybe he's not where he thought he would be career-wise.

This is not a big deal for you, but it is for your husband. Show a little sympathy, but I don't think I'd put up with him wallowing in self pity either. I'm sure you both could come up with a plan of action (maybe he should go back to school or jump out of that plane like he wants) and help him get over his 30 phobia. I agree with the other poster that said you wouldn't be too keen to hear "get over it" if something out of your control was bothering you.

Good Luck!

Dr. M. says offer sexual favors, hard to whine while making love!

I flipped out about turning 30. I don't know why, but when the 2 rolled over to a 3 on the odometer of life I felt really depressed and sad as if the '2' at the front of my age was somehow holding on to 'youth'. Oh, I know it was irrational but it was still depressing for me. My husband was all excited (we both turned 30 in the same year) and wanted to throw me a party for the big three-oh, but I was like no way!

I don't think you need to baby him and treat him like a little boy, but you should be a little more sympathetic to how he is feeling. Maybe ask him why he is so sad or depressed about it? Then point out all the wonderful things he's managed to accomplish in his (short) life and how the two of you have so many wonderful things to look forward to together as you grow older and your family gets stronger.

Do you want him to tell you to just 'get over it' when you're depressed about something? Like, when you turn 40, when you get a little sad when your baby goes to preschool or school for the first time, when your baby boy goes on his first date or moves away to college? These events might be important to you and might affect you, so a little empathy right now might be in order :)

Hi Michelle!

Honestly when I first saw this I laughed to myself. My husband is turning 40 this year and doesn't seem to have a problem with it. I've started planning a huge birthday party (that he knows about), and he seems to be looking forward to the big day. When I asked him how he felt about turning 40 he said ... "everyone gets older, what's the alternative? If you're not aging then you're dead. So I'd much rather be growing older ..." He then went on to say how he was at a good place in his life (careerwise), how he has a loving family, and how he has so much to be thankful for that turning 40 is a blessing. And I guess it doesn't hurt that he looks pretty young for his age. Most people guess that he's about 25. But in my opinion, I think it's all about perspective. If your husband looks at all the positives in his life, and there isn't anyone teasing him about getting older (like friends and family can sometimes do & can take too far). Then my thought would be similar to yours. I say give him a period of time to mope, then once that's over I'd say let's move on . . .

JMO :-)
I hope it all works out!
Lynn

Oh MY! What are they like? I have 2 words for you to give to your husband........... BRAD PITT! he's about 43 or something and still got it so your poor husband has a long way to go yet.

The truth of the matter is its going to happen if he likes it or not and before he knows it he will be 31.

Hope this gave you a giggle even if you hubby doesn't find it funny. He'll get over it........eventually!

Good luck

Wow, I'm really surprised by some of the 'get over its'!

Imagine if it was something 'small and stupid' that you were bummed out about and it was really bothering you, yet your husband told you to suck it up and get over it? Can you just imagine a new mother feeling fat and unattractive after giving birth (like many often do because they're adjusting to a new baby, leaky boobs, purple tiger stripes on the belly and a post-partum wracked body) and that M. feels all bummed out about how she feels about her body, yet her husband says "Just get over it!" OMG, women on this board would be calling for that husband's head for not 'being sensitive to her needs and feelings'. It's okay for a woman to feel badly about something that a man wouldn't understand but it isn't okay for a man to feel badly about something a woman wouldn't understand? I don't get it!

If you're really at the end of your rope in dealing with him, tell him something to the effect of "I know this is a tough issue for you. Is there anything I can do to help?" And then when he says no and continues to mope, let him know that his moping is really bringing you down, too and that perhaps he needs to find another audience.

I can understand this to a certain degree but at some point you do have to consider the alternative and get over it. I don't know if you practice any particular faith/religion but I would say be somewhat sympathetic but at the same time tell him to be thankful for 30 and each and every day and year that God has blessed him with. Life is too short to stress over getting older and getting older is a blessing. If he's not at a point where maybe he thought he'd be by 30 just remind him that each day that he is blessed with is another opportunity to work toward reaching those goals.

Mine was like that too so I embarrassed him with

http://www.flamingosurprise.com/

and i told him to get over it

I have no tolerance for stuff like that, seriously, is he 9 or 29? I'm with you, get over it, there are too many more important things to use your energy on. Sounds like you're dealing with 2 babies in the house :).