How to Manage a Toddler and Newborn

J.,
My suggestion is to get her a baby doll. that way she has her "own" baby. Then she can change, diaper and feed her baby right along with you. Another suggestion would be to give her a special project to do when you feed the new baby. That way if she is jealous of feeding time she has her own special project to do. Crayons, color wonder finger paint. . . somthing simple that is easy to clean up if she makes a mess. These are things that I plan to do with my toddler when our new baby arrives. I am not due untill April, but I understand your conflicts. My son is attached to me as well. Good luck!

Make her your little helper. Get her a new doll to play with (it can be a gift from the baby when she sees the baby for the first time). Let her feed her doll when you feed the baby, etc. Let her get diapers for you and stuff like that. Give her lots of extra attention, especially when the baby is asleep. Good luck.

I know exactly what you are going through..only difference I had a 18 month old and brought twins home...I was so nervous about how my son would react..To my surprise he did wonderful..He loved to help with the babies, he would bring me a paci or a burp cloth..and when they were sleeping I spent quality time with him..Good luck..

Go buy her a Baby Annabelle or Rock-a-bye Shoo Shoo doll. This baby cries and drinks a bottle and does everything the new baby will do (except diaper changing necessities). She can take care of her baby just like you are taking care of your baby. You will both be new mommies and she will have a blast taking care of "her" baby. I would not give it to her until you come home from the hospital. Bring both babies home at the same time. Also, involve her in the care of the new baby. She can "help" by bringing you a diaper, burp cloth, etc. When baby goes down for a nap have some mommy & me time with the 18 mo. old. If you have someone that can help you, let them care for the baby some so you can spend time with the big girl. Hope these ideas help.

J.,

first off huggs go to you. i know all about the 18 months apart in children. the only difference between you and i, i have 2 boys. Shortly after i had my youngest, my hubby was activated to go to iraq so i was a single mother of an 18 month old and a new born for 18 months. Best advice I can give you is to give both children attention. Sounds impossible?? Not really. Your newborn will sleep a lot more than the oldest. So talk to your oldest and explain to her. Mommy loves you both and she needs to spend time with you both. Also let her sit with you while you are holding the baby, feeding the baby, etc. Just explain that she can't get rough while you are holding baby. She will understand even at her age. Including her in what you do for the baby will help her get along with her sister. Let her help you, bring you a diaper, etc. She will not only feel the attention, but she will be a big girl by helping mommy.

Good Luck hun. Email me if you want to chat more. ____@____.com

AS A MOTHER OF 3 I WOULD ADVISE YOU TO INCLUDE THE 18 MONTH OLD IN TO THE NEW BABYS LIFE LET HER HELP OUT SUCH AS GETTING DIAPERS BABY POWDER AND SO ON LET HER HELP FIX THE NEW BABYS ROOM UP GET THINGS AT HOME READY TOGETHER FOR THE NEW ARRIVAL
YOUR FRIEND S.

I have a 3 year old son and just had a baby girl 2 months ago. A friend of mine gave me a suggestion to start things off right. When you're in the hospital and you introduce your daughter to the new baby, make sure neither you or your husband are holding the baby when your daughter comes in the room. Spend a minute with her alone and then introduce her new sibling by letting her hold the baby with you together. Also, it was suggested to let her pick out a present for the baby that she can give to it at the hospital.
This is one way to let her know that she's still your priority as well, but there's going to be a new addition that you love just as much. I heard it helps with the jealousy. It worked great for us!

First congrats,
My two kids are 22 months apart and my daughter now 31 months still has never been apart from me. The hardest is the first few days. I had a home birth so my daughter was right here with me the whole time. My advice is one, have family come the day after birth and just be there to love her up. The next is to have her be your number one helper. That made all the difference in the world. I used to say things like oh I need to change your brother's diaper but need the best big girl helper. Then they feel like they have a place even with a new baby. I also read books to her about new babies everyday and talked about the new baby that would be arriving.
I hope this small advice helps.

These are all good responses you have got. Good idea to get your her own "baby" and let her care for it as you do the real baby. My girls are 17 1/2 months apart. Don't get me wrong, it is not always easy, but now I wouldn't have it any other way. Now they are 2 1/2 years old and 13 months. They are best little friends, not that they don't fight sometimes, that is just normal. Try to spend as much quality time with your oldest girl when you can. If you have a support system to help you, that is great. Take all the help you can get. Good luck and enjoy your girls!!

I am new at handling a newborn with another child in the house but so far everything is going quite smoothly. I have a five year old daughter and a 11 day old daughter. When I found out that I was pregnant, I told my oldest daughter about it and made sure she understood that things were going to change around the house. Then the closer I got to delivering our newborn I tried to spend as much time as possiable because I knew that it would be a while before it could just me me and her time. But I do agree with everyone else about the baby doll. For Christmas, I bought my daughter the Baby Alive doll, you have to change the diapers, and she loves it. She feels like a mommy herself and she understands that when the baby is a little older she can help me and change her diaper too. So far my oldest loves her baby sister, she makes sure that she is happy and when she's not she tries to figure out why and make her happy. Another thing that I suggest, is tell your child that you will have momma and daughter dates. My oldest daughter knows that when I can stay away from the baby for a couple hours that we will go on one of ours. That way she knows that you can still spend time with just her as well as with the new baby. I hope this helps.

I understand exactly. I am the proud mommy of a 4yr old a 19 month old,both girls,and a 4 month old boy,we were very nervous about bringing the baby home,but much to my surprise things are going well,alot of people warned me that my younger girl would start to act like a baby again but she has actually done the opposite,like giving up her bottle so brother could have it,ect...true enough times can be hard but so long as you include everyone with everything the baby does,things should run smoothly,a little alone time with each child helps also. You will be surprised how much a toddle is capable of loving understanding,if given the chance. Good luck!!

My daughters are 19 months apart. I was worried about pretty much the same thing, as I am a stay at home mom too. I don't have much advice, but I can tell you what I did. I let me oldest (who is 7 now) help me with EVERYTHING! In the hospital, she held the baby (with Granny's help of course! She got in the bed with me while holding the new baby. That way she felt special too. I held the baby, while she held the bottle some. I changed the baby's diapers, while I made HER felt like she was the one doing it by letting her stick the little tabs. She helped me pack a diaper bag, she helped me get bottles together, she helped me get blankets together, she helped me fold clothes.... I pretty much made her fell like she was helping me with everything, no matter how little help it was... In the long run, I had NO problems with jealousy or anything. As a matter of fact, it go to the point where, when the baby cried, she did everything she could to get her to stop crying! LOL It even upset her a little when she didn't stop crying. Everything worked out in the end. They are 7 and 6 now, and the best of friends. They even have a 2 year old brother that the mother now!

let me know how it works. i have and 18mth old boy and we are having another baby in aug or sept.